Can you ever truly know somepony, no matter how close they are to you? When a neighboring monarch and friend of Celestia's nears the end, she and her faithful student embark on a journey to seek the aid of those who reside in the lands far beyond Equestrian borders.

Twilight and Celestia only ever wanted to understand what's going on, and to return to their normal lives. But, when they look to solve the greatest riddle ever told, the answers they find... Might not be the ones they seek.

The Great and Powerful Trixie has fled from Ponyville because it's canon. Since this is a fan written story, she returns to Ponyville unintentionally and meets up with Twilight after collapsing on her doorstep. To spoil the first paragraph, both mares already harvest feelings for one another. Hilarity ensues as they try to live together by complete force of the author. Will they ever confess their feelings to each other? If they didn't then this wouldn't be much of a romance fanfiction now would it?

Picture by dw1482

WARNING: EXTREME LANGUAGE AND HOMOPHOBIC/RACIST SLURS. The views expressed by my characters are not my views. If you're easily offended by a piece of comedy, don't read. If you complain about it being offensive, then you're obviously not listening to me.

We're on Chapter 1. The majority of the major characters ahve not appeared yet. If this goes against the site rules, inform me and I will edit accordingly.

R. Lee Ermey wakes with a splicing headache. Where is he? He'll soon find out.

R. Lee Ermey crashed into Ponyville.

Join Ermey and the mane 6 as they work through a series of wacky adventures comparable to absolutely horrendous movies like 'Click', 'Jack and Jill' and 'AnyAdamSandlerMovieEverMade'. A completely nonsensical, fic. Written for the pure enjoyment of those mindless sheep who watch Fox News and Family Guy. Sorry Adam Sandler, Fox News and Family Guy fans. But your sense of comedy is just as terrible as mine. So we're all together in this one.

When a mishap occurs with Celestia's bathroom scale, an ancient protocol that may just doom Equestria is set into motion. With the entire palace staff now conspiring against her, the sun goddess must not only contend mountains of paper work, dancing celery sticks, and steroid pumped stallions, but a sister who will take this chance to torture Celestia any way she can as payback for her banishment. Lock the cupboards and barricade the fridge! It's the Royal Diet!

Now with TVTropes page! :http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/ASliceOfLife

Maybe that glance lasted just a little too long, or maybe a certain conversation could be interpreted as innuendo. Whatever it is, sometimes we see only what we want to see, and sometimes our fantasies get the best of us. Rarity is no exception.

Featured on Equestria Daily.

"In the grim darkness of this author's imagination, there is only war..."

Ponies throughout history beat the hell out of each other.

From the authors of "Her Smile" and "A Happy Accident"

When you've given everything for the one you love only to have it thrown back in your face, what is there left to do? After a bad break up between Spitfire and Rainbow Dash the two mares go their separate ways, only to find their true love has been in front of them the entire time.

Spitfire x Fluttershy with a side of Rainbow Dash x Twilight shipping

Twilight has issues with the new mare in town. Pinnacle is smarter, prettier, more connected and more talented than everyone combined. Why can't Twi love the gaudy newcomer with the contrived and complicated past? As the lone voice of dissent she finds the only possible solution; a sledgehammer.

(Rainbow Vs. Wild ---> Octavia Vs. Rave ---> Shyness Vs. Kindness ---> Twilight Vs. The Great and Powerful.)

Twilight couldn't be happier for her friends. Rainbow Dash and Applejack have gotten together after their mishap in the Everfree Forest. Big Macintosh and Fluttershy have finally hit it off. And even her new friend Octavia has even found love with Vinyl Scratch! The only exclusions are Pinkie and Rarity, who are too preoccupied with parties or dresses to even care!

But...what about her? What about Twilight...who feels as if she's missing out?

There's little she can do about it for right now though, as Princess Luna herself has requested she help deal with a problem in Manehatten. Somepony has been causing serious trouble in the city that never sleeps, and Twilight isn't going to believe who's behind it all!

Can she let go of the past, look past the facade, and see a pony who's hurt, broken, and afraid?

Can she save a mare who everypony has deemed a 'Phony', a 'Failure', and a 'Dead End of Life'?

Will she hear the cries of help from a mare she thought she knew...and take a Leap of Faith?

Twilight Sparkle just can't find enough time in the day. She has to study friendship for the Princess, hang out with her five friends, and juggle her own hobbies and interests besides. But when a novel solution presents itself in the form of an experimental new spell, will it solve her time crunch, or will she be distracted even further?