Princess Celestia is plagued by a new villain terrorising Canterlot. The guards are useless, Twilight Sparkle is at a loss for what to do, and it falls upon Celestia's withers to deal with this problem herself.

Trigger warning: Kind and benevolent Princess Celestia

Twilight is assassinated. Repeatedly. If only anypony knew what the word "immortal" meant...

Now with a reading by Skijarama!
Now available in Spanish!

Originally written for the Writeoff Association's February contest, "The Twilight Zone."
Thanks to Not_A_Hat, Masked Ferret, Floydien, Chryssi, and ChappedPenguinLips for prereading.

Twilight Sparkle suddenly finds herself caught up in a grand tradition for the immortal rulers of Equestria: holding their own funerals. What can possibly go wrong? The answer: a lot. A whole lot.

Sex tag is for only the mention of it happening. Nothing truly explicit happens.

A commission from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.

Okay, first off, you don't get to call me Flurry Heart. Not unless you have special privileges which are only afforded to those who are related to me and/or are national heroes. Or, I guess, if you're that guard that mom sends after me...

Point is, I'm Skyla. Got it memorized? SKY. LA.

Now these are the stories of how I earned myself that name. And a few other titles. And look, maybe mom and dad say I'm just going through a phase, but I say PHASES ARE FOR WIMPS. This, is who I am!

And the only reason I'm using Circus-Cinnamon's photo is because I can't find any other photos with how I really feel on it. I mean seriously, crystal ponies, I'm yelling half the time, is it that hard to take an angry picture?!

If there's something Daring Do hates, it's fancy Hearth's Warming parties.
If there's something Daring Do loves, it's saving the world.

Combine the two, watch how long she lasts.

As seen on EQD.

Originally written as the Secret Santa gift to Razalon The Lizardman.

Edited by Octavia Harmony and Themaskedferret.

Christmas is a special occasion that comes every year. For many, it is something that is experienced annually. For others however, not so much. The Dazzlings have not experienced such an occasion, perhaps this may be the first of many to come.

Starlight Glimmer is TRYING to be a good friend, but she just has this awful tendency to overreact at just about anything.

Like trying to rule over an entire village of brainwashed ponies because a friend moved away.

"Sis, I know you always told me that the farm is our home and that we all belong there, but you also told me you had to leave to find that out. I hope you can understand. I'm tired of ponies telling me that I'll find out who I am if I wait. What kind of boring self am I ever going to find by just sitting around doing normal stuff?"

—

Cover image by Icaron, used with permission.

There is a village where everypony can be the same.

You may have read some nasty things about it. Rumors of stolen cutie marks and power-mad unicorns. Tall tales about forced smiles and frightened glances.

It's all lies. All except the part about us wanting to escape. That's true.

It's why we came here in the first place.

Winner of the May Writeoff Event.

PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE: DEAD AT 18

TELEPORTATION INVARIABLY FATAL, WARNS LEADING SCHOLAR

One look at the headline of the Canterlot Times and Twilight knew that she should have slept in today. But at least none of her friends would be silly enough to believe she was killing herself every time she teleported, right?

There is now a Spanish translation of this story, courtesy of Spaniard Kiwi