Blank Slate is the greatest thief of his generation. He has robbed countless nigh-impossible marks, and his talents as a master of disguise are beyond par - truly, nopony knows who he is.

And now he's preparing the greatest heist in mortal memory: the treasure vaults of the Princesses themselves.

But you have to get up pretty early in the morning to get one past the pony who defines when ‘early in the morning’ is…

Spoilers in the comments! Beware! Beware...

Audio Reading available - thank you ABagOVicodin
Czech Translation available - Thank you Keranis

Once upon a time, (if the term even applies) two young ladies, (if that adjective even applies) decided to visit a magical land of Equestria, selected seemingly at random from about a million.

• One of the two is a time traveler deprived of her time machine, the other is an eldritch abomination out of her element.
• One would prefer the world of pastel-colored ponies to stay as it is, and can’t help but alter it. The other one is anxious to see how it can change, and can’t help but maintain it.
• Both believe that this is not their story. But while they disturb the delicate world of ponies, they don’t even notice ponies doing the same to them.
• Sandwiches are involved somehow.

There are many things this story is and some things it isn’t.

It’s not a fix fic, no matter what some of the characters think. It’s written in multiple first person narration, which happened for a pointlessly clever reason, that will eventually become quite obvious. It’s not a crossover, it just comes with an unhealthy amount of backstory. It could be a rational-fic, but since idealistic philosophy is typically not seen as very rational, it’s only a philoso-fic instead. It’s quite meta, in the original definition of metafiction: fiction concerned with fiction as a concept. In any case, it’s either a small monument to overthinking things – I’m trying to reexamine many fanon ideas here – or a digital paperweight, I’m not sure which. It’s quite a bit more subtle than it could be, and everyone talks way too much when they should be having glorious adventures.
I know how it starts, I know how it ends, and most of what happens in between. Readers say it’s a slow burner, but we’ll get there eventually.

Acknowledgements

With special thanks to my editors, Thainen, Shrink Laureate, and MitchH.
Further special thanks to ScarletWeather and Themaskedferret for valuable input.
The artist who made the cover image stubbornly wishes to remain uncredited, but thanks to her anyway.

A first-in scout from the Associated Worlds investigates the anomalous star system IGS 254672, expecting to find the home of a machine god. She finds herself making first contact with sophont ponies instead. A couple of them are weakly godlike ponies, but still...

Neither world will be quite the same again.

Side stories and notes can be found here.

(This is actually a crossover with the original SF that I write as my day job, which is to say with the universe of Vignettes of the Star Empire and The Core War and Other Stories, and if you like - although it should not be necessary to read this - you can read a whole selection of the nanofiction I write in that setting over at the Eldraeverse blog. I also have a Patreon which exists to fund my ongoing original writing, but if anyone wants to give me money for this instead - I'm not asking, in this case, but you never know - I surely won't turn it down.

The Eldraeverse also has a Discord, which has an #advancedverse channel specifically for this fic's AU; feel free to drop in at: https://discord.gg/SnzkKhf

As such, I should warn you in advance, gentle reader, that updates may be erratic, because I also have said writing-as-a-day-job to do and it has to take priority. I hope that won't put you off.

Timeframe-wise, it's safe to assume these events start sometime in the middle of S3, and continue from there. The situation will of course butterfly-effect away from canon with reasonable speed, and there may be a few changes needed in the course of the fusion, hence the AU tag.)

Two magical prodigies cast in Twilight's shadow stumble about in somepony else's story and try to find meaning in their lives.

***

An affectionate parody of Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.
Which is in itself an absurdist and existentialist parody of Hamlet.

Russian Translation
Chinese Translation

Everypony gets sick sometimes. A number will try to ignore it. Some fight through it, even when they shouldn't. Others make sure they succumb as quickly as possible, and that everypony around them knows it. One or two might refuse to admit anything's wrong at all. But eventually, everypony will fall ill.

Seven short stories.
Six sick Bearers.
And one dragon.

(A stand-alone, no prior-reading-necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome. )

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Everypony enjoys myths and ponytales, even if they know such things aren't real. Alicorns fighting against a spirit of chaos? An ancient princess trapped in a library under a tree, waiting to be found? Quite enchanting and fantastic tales yes, but nonetheless as fictional as Daring Do and other such stories. At least, that's what Rarity used to think.

She doesn't anymore.

Dedicated to Annuska for being as amazing a writer as she is a friend.

Now a physical book!!!
Patreon!
Based on an old oneshot.
Chapter Art by Arctic Waters // Graphic Design and Typography by Swan Song.

A minor injury leads Apple Bloom to learn that she and the other Crusaders aren't like normal ponies. Not having their marks has always been their common bond, but as the trio uncover their unique nature, it becomes clear that their lives are intertwined on a much deeper level. As they learn the secrets of their shared past, it leads to revelations about their friendship, families, and their long sought after talents. What they discover and accomplish along the way is beyond what anypony would have thought possible.

There is now a sequel! Three Wishes: The Hole In The Sun

And a (more or less) standalone Christmas Special set between this and the sequel. Cinder Claws: The Caribou Legend Of Kol-Klor

Big thanks to totallynotabrony, Dusk Watch, AugieDog, and Piquo Pie for prereading and editing help!

I was looking forward to the school tour for a really long time! We were going to the beach, and I love the beach. I love the bus trip as well, singing and talking with my friends. But then we drove into a tunnel. I've never really liked tunnels, but it's always been fine because my friends were there. We always try to hold our breath the whole way through the tunnel, which is a lot of fun.

Today, we couldn't hold our breath the whole way through, because the bus never came out of the tunnel.

Set in the Ponies After People universe, inspired by Starscribe's The Last Pony on Earth.

Maggie Wilson (26), on a smoke break from her dead end convenience store job in the California mountains, encounters the divine god-princess of a dead world. The princess asks for her help. Mag says yes.

So how do you resurrect a dead world?

Featured on EQD.
Edited by Arcanist Ascendant.

Certain aspects of the palace have been stable for a long time, and the longer that time has gone on, the harder they are to shift -- no matter how badly Luna might desire it. But one tapestry is undeniably ugly. It's been ugly for more than a thousand years. And so she's going to do what should have been done centuries ago and simply kick it out.

Inanimate objects have a way of returning to the scene of the crime.

(A stand-alone, no prior-reading-necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome. )

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Dedicated to Bill Veeck