My name is Twilight Sprinkle, and my passion is donuts—from the delicate morsels I serve at elegant cocktail parties to the hearty pastries enjoyed by hard-working ponies who get up early. I don’t have friends, I don’t have books, and I sure as the sun don’t have any wings. I don’t care whether you’re here for revenge, for romance, or for a favor. My name is Twilight Sprinkle and I’m not who you think I am, so either buy a donut or get the hay out of my store!

(Edited by the mysterious the masked ferret.)

⠠⠺⠑⠄⠗⠑⠀⠝⠕⠀⠌⠗⠁⠝⠛⠻⠎⠀⠞⠕⠀⠇⠕⠧⠑⠠⠽⠀⠐⠅⠀⠮⠀⠗⠥⠇⠑⠎⠀⠯⠀⠎⠀⠙⠀⠠⠊⠀⠐⠣⠙⠀⠠⠊⠐⠜
⠠⠁⠀⠋⠥⠇⠇⠀⠉⠕⠍⠍⠊⠞⠍⠢⠞⠄⠎⠀⠱⠁⠞⠀⠠⠊⠄⠍⠀⠹⠔⠅⠬⠀⠷⠠⠽⠀⠺⠙⠝⠄⠞⠀⠛⠑⠞⠀⠹⠀⠋⠀⠁⠝⠽⠀⠕⠮⠗⠀⠛⠥⠽⠠⠊⠀⠚⠀⠺⠁⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠽⠀⠓⠪⠀⠠⠊⠄⠍⠀⠋⠑⠑⠇⠬
⠠⠛⠕⠞⠞⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠐⠥⠌⠯⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽
⠠⠺⠑⠄⠧⠑⠀⠐⠅⠝⠀⠑⠁⠡⠀⠕⠮⠗⠀⠿⠀⠎⠀⠇⠰⠛⠠⠽⠗⠀⠓⠑⠜⠞⠄⠎⠀⠆⠢⠀⠁⠡⠬⠂⠀⠃⠀⠽⠄⠗⠑⠀⠞⠕⠕⠀⠩⠽⠀⠞⠕⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠭⠀⠐⠣⠎⠁⠽⠀⠭⠐⠜
⠠⠔⠎⠊⠙⠑⠂⠀⠺⠑⠀⠃⠕⠹⠀⠐⠅⠀⠱⠁⠞⠄⠎⠀⠃⠑⠢⠀⠛⠕⠬⠀⠕⠝⠀⠐⠣⠛⠕⠬⠀⠕⠝⠐⠜⠠⠺⠑⠀⠐⠅⠀⠮⠀⠛⠁⠍⠑⠀⠯⠀⠺⠑⠄⠗⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠏⠇⠁⠽⠀⠭⠠⠯⠀⠊⠋⠀⠽⠀⠁⠎⠅⠀⠍⠑⠀⠓⠪⠀⠠⠊⠄⠍⠀⠋⠑⠑⠇⠬
⠠⠙⠕⠝⠄⠞⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠍⠑⠀⠽⠄⠗⠑⠀⠞⠕⠕⠀⠃⠇⠀⠞⠕⠀⠎⠑⠑⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽⠠⠺⠑⠄⠧⠑⠀⠐⠅⠝⠀⠑⠁⠡⠀⠕⠮⠗⠀⠿⠀⠎⠀⠇⠰⠛
⠠⠽⠗⠀⠓⠑⠜⠞⠄⠎⠀⠃⠑⠢⠀⠁⠡⠬⠂⠀⠃⠀⠽⠄⠗⠑⠀⠞⠕⠕⠀⠩⠽⠀⠞⠕⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠭⠀⠐⠣⠞⠕⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠭⠐⠜
⠠⠔⠎⠊⠙⠑⠂⠀⠺⠑⠀⠃⠕⠹⠀⠐⠅⠀⠱⠁⠞⠄⠎⠀⠃⠑⠢⠀⠛⠕⠬⠀⠕⠝⠀⠐⠣⠛⠕⠬⠀⠕⠝⠐⠜⠠⠺⠑⠀⠐⠅⠀⠮⠀⠛⠁⠍⠑⠀⠯⠀⠺⠑⠄⠗⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠏⠇⠁⠽⠀⠭
⠠⠊⠀⠚⠀⠺⠁⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠽⠀⠓⠪⠀⠠⠊⠄⠍⠀⠋⠑⠑⠇⠬⠠⠛⠕⠞⠞⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠐⠥⠌⠯⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑
⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠛⠊⠧⠑⠀⠽⠀⠥⠏⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠇⠑⠞⠀⠽⠀⠙⠪⠝⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠗⠥⠝⠀⠜⠨⠙⠀⠯⠀⠙⠑⠎⠻⠞⠀⠽
⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠍⠁⠅⠑⠀⠽⠀⠉⠗⠽⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠎⠁⠽⠀⠛⠙⠃⠽⠑⠠⠝⠐⠑⠀⠛⠕⠝⠝⠁⠀⠞⠑⠇⠇⠀⠁⠀⠇⠊⠑⠀⠯⠀⠓⠥⠗⠞⠀⠽

Seems that Uncle Sam already paid this long description a visit. Would you like to know more?

Trigger Warnings:
Missiles, The American Dream, Exposed Rivets, Balloons, Twitter, Ponies, Human in Equestria tropes but with more war crimes, the Geneva Suggestions, Reddit, Tankies, Communism, Un-democratic Ideas, Brain Cells, Lack of Brain Cells, Twilightism, Rainbow Dash, Uncomfortable Situations, Trans-Animacy relationships, Isekai, Luna not being shipped with the main character, Alcoholism, , classified , Dave Applebees

A big thank you to DarthBall, for losing 39 IQ in the process of writing this shitpost, and Orderly Dissassembly for the five-dollar Applebees gift card (along with the cover art and editing).

In a world where scavenging is both a way of life and a stigma, Gideon finds treasures amid the refuse. When an anonymous carriage crashes near his home, however, he uncovers more than just scrap metal—there's a wailing infant, abandoned and clearly in need of help.

A short series about a griffon and his adopted son. This story shouldn't be too serious, and sometimes it can be random. This takes place in an alternative universe from the original timeline. Hope you enjoy!

You and Umbra have been going steady for the better part of a year now. With a stable job and some nice friends to boot, you both have finally made the decision to move in together. Although, there's that lingering question in your mind of how a displaced human like you can get along with a queen like her.

One picture can answer that for you.

Contains: M/F, Human x Anthro Pony, Unguligrade Anthro, Rule 63 Sombra, Mentions and Implications of Sex (I put the tag just in case)

Cover art is NOT made by me. It's made by the lovely Evehly. (Derpibooru 2966607 - Pic is semi-nsfw)

Featured on 8/21/2023 (Thank you all!)

Rainbow Dash returns to aerial racing. As the dream dissolves, a stumbling prospect catches her eye – a pony that no other would touch with a bargepole.

Featured on Equestria Daily! (27 May 2024)

Note on 'Sloppy Truth'

A thousand years ago, a long-forgotten disaster wracked Equestria, rendering its surface inhospitable to all but the most foolhardy of creatures. In the millennia since, the once unified and prosperous races and societies have devolved into fractured and competing tribes and factions, all trying to carve out their own piece of the Underworld for themselves.

Aspirant Twilight Sparkle is desperate for a chance to make a name for herself -- to become a full fledged Pathfinder, which would finally allow her to be free from the limits of Charlie Compound permanently. And if she manages to discover something that no other pony in the Erudite Enclave has, she'll be set for life.

However, in her quest for discovery, she may come across more than she bargained for. Unlikely allies, unforeseen enemies, and heretofore untold truths of the Underworld itself.

Unbeknownst to her, though -- that may be exactly what she's looking for. After all, the depths of discovery knows no bounds.

The global dust storm of a century, the dying message of an indomitable robot, and a unicorn who just can’t let go of a mystery.

(Now with a dramatic reading by Skijaramaz - Tone Shift.)
(Russian translation available at ponyfiction.org.)

Welcome, to WHEEL! OF! FEMSHIPS!

This Fic will be a collection of one-shot stories, each focusing on a different F/F ship, the ship in question being determined by a literal spin of the wheel using wheelofnames.com.

Some stories will be fully fledged single chapter story lines, others will be short little fluff pieces, all depends on how much i can get out of the combination.

T-rating set now for content in future chapters, that will more than likely contain mild profanity, and suggestive dialogue, but no actual graphic descriptions of 'bedroom activities"

Twilight Sparkle created an artificial wormhole and sends a message through. A message gets sent back.

Inspired by the bi-weekly prompt from Bean's Group: Time Capsule From the Future