Chapter 6
I watched her open her eyes, and I couldn’t help but smile. The rising sun shone brilliantly through her copper mane, making her blue eyes nearly glow as she looked around the cabin.
“Are… are we on a train?”
“Welcome to the waking world, Rip Van Stinkle.”
Copper sat up and rubbed her eyes, then looked around again. “No, seriously, we’re on a train. How did I get onto a train?”
I nodded with a smirk, feeling my bangs bounce around freely without the paper hat on top. “I have my ways.”
She tugged on the collar of my bathrobe, then looked at me. I looked back at her and asked, “How did you get into my bathrobe?”
“I… I was cold. And the blanket you gave me wasn’t enough.” She couldn’t hold my gaze, and her eyes dropped to the floor. “And it’s so soft. Sorry, Twilight.”
I smiled. “You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you up.” I levitated a disposable coffee cup and a paper bag from the seat beside me. “I brought you breakfast, though.”
“Thanks,” she said as she took the bag and looked inside. I’d just kind of tossed a few guesses in the bag. I figured if she didn’t like one, she’d eat another. “I, um, don’t like coffee. Thanks anyway.”
I shrugged, and took the paper cup in my own hooves. “I figured you might not want me trying to give you a carton of chocolate milk.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, maybe someday I’ll be able to drink chocolate milk again without flashbacks to that terrible day when I met you.”
“If you keep being mean, I’m going to dessert you.”
She looked at me, with a donut in one hoof. Chocolate cake donut, with chocolate frosting, chocolate sprinkles, then glazed over the whole thing. Maybe I was crazy, but ponies like it. She just kept looking at me.
I sighed, and rolled my eyes. “Dessert you. D-E-S-S—”
“Yeeeeah,” she said, then took a bite of the donut. “I got it.”
I watched her chew for longer than it should take to chew a bite of donut. She finally swallowed and said, “I hope you’re done.”
With a sigh, I crossed my forelegs in front of my chest. “Yeah, I’m going to quit making donut jokes. I’m just tired of the hole thing.”
She froze, her mouth open wide just above the donut in her hoof. Slowly, she brought the donut down and closed her mouth. She carefully placed the three-quarters of a donut back in the paper bag, and brushed the crumbs off her hoof. I was trying desperately not to smile. She folded the top of the bag down and placed it daintily on the seat next to her, then looked up at me and said, “You’re still a terrible pony.”
I smiled. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She scrunched her eyebrows and frowned, puffing out her cheeks. “There’s not a lot of material there. I’ve heard all three of your jokes. It’s time to stop now, Miss Sprinkle.”
As she reached for her bag, I opened my mouth. “I—”
She held up a hoof. “Ah. No. The Copper Princess needs her quiet breakfast time. We could have talked, but you ruined it. Quiet time now.”
I didn’t feel like I deserved that, but I sat quietly and watched her eat all three donuts. Good thing I ate breakfast before I left. I slurped my coffee once, and got a glare from Copper, but I wasn’t sure if it was, like, supposed to be a joke glare, or if she just really wasn’t a morning pony and I was being too loud with my coffee.
When she was finished, she brushed the crumbs off my bathrobe and looked up at me. “So, where are we going on a train this fine day?”
“We’re going to Ponyville.”
“Wuh-wuh-what? Why are we going to Ponyville?”
I smirked and lowered my voice. “You’ve got a date with destiny, and it looks like she’s ordered the crème brûlée!”
“I don’t”—she rested her forehead on a hoof—“I don’t even know what that means.” She looked up with an angry eyebrow. “Is that a donut joke?”
“No, it’s just, if you go on a date with somepony, and they order the—”
Copper held up a hoof. “Nevermind. Seriously, why are we going to Ponyville?”
“Well,” I said, letting my eyes wander around the ceiling of the passenger car, “there’s somepony in Ponyville that we both need to, uh, talk to.”
“Oh, no!” She pulled away from me and scrunched up her muzzle like I’d just tried to feed her a cauliflower donut. “I’m not ready! I… I don’t have my cape! I need my crown, a-and my hoofguards, and—”
“Hey,” I said, grabbing her by the shoulders. “Your cape is stained with that weird fur dye you used. I mean, I’ve got it soaking, but I’m not hopeful. Wait.” I froze and squinted at her. “You have a crown?”
She stuck her chin in the air. Again. “I made it myself. For when I become a princess.”
I leaned back into my seat. “Let me guess. It’s made of copper.”
“Copper is a precious metal. Just like Princess Celestia’s regalia is gold, and Princess Luna’s is silver and onyx, mine is copper.”
My muzzle scrunched as I thought back to history class in school. Copper was used for coins, a long time ago, I remembered. Some ponies still wear jewelry made of copper. I shrugged. “But why do you need your crown to confront Twilight Sparkle? You didn’t have it when you showed up at my shop.”
“Yeah, but, but…” Now I watched her eyes wander around the roof of the train car. “I need the crown because… Because I have to…”
The sun swung around from my left to somewhere behind the train. We’d hit the last curve leading into Ponyville. I put my hoof on her chin, and when she looked at me, I stuck my own chin into the air and tried to affect her regal manner. She halfheartedly followed suit. I said, “It’s your destiny, Copper. Whether you’re wearing a crown or a bathrobe, destiny is destiny.”
She smiled as the train lurched to a stop. I’d like to say that it was a sweet moment, but since I was already leaning forward, I toppled out of my seat and bounced off of Copper, landing on the floor of the train. Good thing my coffee had a lid on it.
As we walked through town, Copper elbowed me and gestured toward the ponies just starting to sit down at a little outdoor cafe with mushrooms for tables. “See,” she said, “this is when reasonable ponies are getting up and having breakfast.”
“But instead of being reasonable, we’re on a quest to—” I stopped and jabbed a hoof into the air dramatically “—turn you into a princess!”
She stopped next to me and stuck her hoof in the air next to mine. That wasn’t what I was going for, but okay. Go team us, I supposed. “And get you, uh, whatever it is that solves your problem!”
I wasn’t exactly sure what to do with my hoof now that it was up there, so I just resumed walking. Copper fell into step beside me again. It became obvious which way to go when we trotted onto the main street. Well, not so much a street as a big open area. Ponyville didn’t really have roads; it had places where nopony’s built a house yet. But the castle was plainly visible over the rooftops to our left. It certainly stuck out among the wooden-beamed, plaster-walled cottages.
Seeing it in person was a bit more breathtaking than the photographs I’d collected. It didn’t take us long to get there. Compared to the castle in Canterlot, it was tiny. Also, incredibly purple and shiny. As we trotted up and looked at the massive front door, I poked her in the ribs. “Good job evading that formidable garrison of guard stallions.”
She gulped loudly and looked up into the “branches” of the crystal tree with her ears laid back. “So, uh, do we knock, or what?”
“The library is in here,” I said, pushing the door open with a hoof. “It’s open to the public.”
As I stepped inside the castle, Spike—little purple baby dragon, first mentioned page one in the executive summary, dedicated chapter starts page seventy-three—jogged past with a stack of books clutched in his arms. Without so much as glancing up at me he said, “Heya, Twilight. I didn’t realize you’d left. I’ve got—”
He glanced up at me. “Uhhh.” I saw him notice my chronic lack of wings before his eyes made their way to my donut cutie mark. “Oh, heheh, you’re not Twilight.”
I grinned. How could I not? “Actually, I am Twilight. And that’s the problem.”
Spike studied my face for a moment. I could tell he wanted to scratch his head, but his arms were full. “Did you…” He raised one eyebrow but didn’t resume talking.
Copper cleared her throat and stepped forward. “This is Twilight Sprinkle, here to see Twilight Sparkle.”
Spike nodded toward the nearest doorway on our left, where rows of bookshelves were visible stretching into the dim reaches. “She’s in her study, back of the library. That’s where I’m headed with these books.” He jogged off again, mumbling to himself. “Whole dictionary full of words…”
I looked at Copper. She looked back at me and took a deep breath. It wasn’t until she’d turned away that I took my own deep breath.
... Can I get the address for The Donutier? I need it for... research.
I'm going to laugh if Ponyville Twilight knew about donut Twilight all along.
And now I'm craving donuts
Twilight really needs to put those donut jokes out to pastry. They're pretty crumby. She should at yeast ring up some new material.
You know, if she saw these mad pun skillz, I bet she'd be jelly.
I did not know I needed this in my life
8109691
You people are still coming up with new donut jokes. I'm impressed. In kind of a sad way.
8109696
*you do nut know
8109787 Are you really surprised? You threw down the pun gauntlet.
People get real serious about them in this fandom, too.
If you were to tell them puns weren't good humour the bearclaws would come out.
I'm sorry, these puns just keep getting cruller.
dessert you. Funny.
Nice.
8109791 yea I walked into that one I kneed to watch my step.
This line struck me as apropos ...
Kinda defines a small but growing town like Ponyville all right. Noted for it's proximity to farms, small shops, a somewhat unpleasant forest, and why the heck is there a giant crystal castle in this backwater dump?
Was honestly half expecting this to be Sparkle disguised as Sprinkle, or at least that Spike (the junk food nut that he is) would know Sprinkle if she was real.
8109787 this is a fandom that loves a show postively filled with horse puns
You have not even begun to suffer.
GAH! Cliffhanger, you evil bastard!
Props to Spike for being the first
ponyever to notice that Sprinkle isn't Sparkle.8110003
Would you say that's custard-filled, or jelly-filled?
Give me all the donuts!
8110020 [reading through the chapters]
[glances into comments]
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8109901 because magic has a sense of humor. Sick and disturbingly close to Discord's, but a sense of humor nonetheless
What is person?
8110086
Hey, I tell you what is. Big city, hmm? Live, work, huh? But not city only. Only peoples. Peoples is peoples. No is buildings. Is tomatoes, huh? Is peoples, is dancing, is music, is potatoes. So, peoples is peoples. Okay?
This is fun, I want this to be sort of a series.
for example the racer Twilight Sprunkle, she is very popular with racing fans, not so much with other racers.
Or maybe Twilight spunkle who is a member of the punk rock band
Twilight over hay.
8110097
What is people?
I was kind of expecting this to go in a different direction, but I'm glad I didn't exactly predict the whole story before it was finished.
Twilight's a ridiculously popular name.
8110097 That sounded pretty fuckin' adorable.
It's coming! Finally!
...I was trying to make a joke about glaze. I donut know how it got sexual.
I've acting weird all month. Like it's me but not me.
Which one of them came up with this half-baked plan again? It really isn't well done. Spike should have given them some sage advice and told them not to waste Princess Twilight's thyme.
And the upcoming clash will be hilarious.
And also donuts.
Met.
8111632 And in the same venue, people were praising her characterization (or what little there was) at the time that comment was posted. My words stand.
8109787 There's an audience for it. After all, if Twilight's regular customers didn't like her puns, there'd likely be a lot more turnover.
8112131
"The final confrontation awaits!
I only hope we both live to see it."
An (imaginary) donut for those who gets the reference.
8109787 My eyes glazed over as I saw the sheer amount of puns you triggered.
And in the sequel, cranky cutlery creator Twilight Sporkle takes a stab at the Princess of Friendship.
8113623
Sunova bitch!
That one's pretty good.
8112737
Since no one got it I can eat my (imaginary) donuts myself.
Here is the reference: (Skip to 0:37)
groan...every time i read "dessert" i think of that episode of that old cartoon, "Letterman":
a rich kid is sitting in his backyard eating a very fancy dessert.
this offends the villain for some reason, so he makes a letter S disappear, and the kid is suddenly lost in a desert.
so then Letterman appears and sticks a new S in place to bring things back to normal.
Spike always has something to gripe about. Poor guy.
Poor spike
about time
Oh.... The puns are strong with this one.
After all these years of getting hassled by would-be assassins and courtiers and getting moralized by the Princess and writing an encyclopedia on her doppelgänger and talking to her damn mom, she STILL hasn’t met her? Really? And it’s only now that she decided it was a good time to do so?
Jeez. Given her casual relaying of the fact on the train, one would expect her to have met the woman at least once.