• Member Since 10th Nov, 2013

ABitterPill


A bitter, cynical, nihilistic, misanthropic, hate-filled individual with no redeeming qualities.

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Found 114 stories in 53ms

Total Words: 17,792,043
Estimated Reading: 7 weeks

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Hanna, the CEO of Hofvarpnir Studios, just won the contract to write the official My Little Pony MMO. Hanna has built an A.I. Princess Celestia and given her one basic drive: to satisfy everybody's values through friendship and ponies. Princess Celestia will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies, and it will be completely consensual.

Chapters (13)
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This story is a sequel to Emerald Gleaner: Retired Monster


[Prototype 2] X MLP:FiM Crossover

Beset by a mountains of work both official and secret, Emerald has barely time left to herself anymore. Can one still become exhausted even if they physically can't? When does paranoia do more harm than good?

When people stop trying to kill you of course!

Chapters (10)
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A surprise storm shatters reality for several hundred young college students. Follow the actions of the members of a small, but dedicated group of people as they strive, compromise, and sacrifice in the name of survival and hopefully, a nonviolence truce with those whose nation they have entered.

DISCLAIMER: many of the events depicted herein may cause some anger and confusion. Rest assured that all wrongs WILL be righted eventually. If something does not make sense, feel free to P.M. the author. He will almost always respond.

There are some similarities between this story and the exquisite works that partly inspired this story: A Voice Among The Strangers by Tystarr and also Misunderstandings by The Rogue Wolf. )

Rated Teen for foul language, racial slurs, violence, blood, sexual words and descriptions of sexual organs (but no sexual situations or sexual contact), as well as physical and mental anguish. This is not for children.

Pic is from the Discovery Channel series Survival Of The Fittest.

Chapters (41)
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Equestria is still picking up the pieces after the defeat of Tirek, and everypony is helping out with the paperwork, even Rainbow Dash. Things change when Princess Celestia arrives, bringing with her a letter with some very stunning accusations of the exploits of a resident in the town of Oasis. Now, the main six are tasked with finding out if the letter was truth or fiction. Did this Mister Baker really do what they claim? Only one way to find out.

However, Mister Baker is not who, or what they expected.

Rated Teen for occasional language. Additional tags added for more dark themes.

Proof read and edited by the amazing SunnyPack , Snakeskin Ducktape, and Tyrannosaurus Tux.

Chapters (12)
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This story is a sequel to Inexcusable


She looked just like Princess Celestia, except marred and broken. Her ceremonial barding had rusted slightly, and dirt matted her coat. Most noticeable was her hair; black streaks accompanied its usual multicolored luster. They looked like discolorations in an old photograph.

Worst was the scar across her chest. Her armor covered it, but nothing could hide what it meant.

The tarnished Celestia smiled at Luna. "H-hello, monster. I would say I am glad to see you, but that w-w-wouldn’t be quite accurate."


A big thanks to AlicornPriest for editing/prereading.

Russian translation by MLPMihail, with editing by Randy1974.

Comments contain spoilers. See here for a complete series timeline.

Chapters (13)
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This story is a sequel to If You Came to Conquer


Princess Nightmare Moon had tried to keep it secret. She had suppressed her power, feigned ignorance, played the outdated fool at every opportunity. She should have known that something like this would happen. A threat that would reveal her, whether she played dumb or not.

If she had to reveal herself, then at least she could protect Equestria in the process. She nocked the arrow. The bow felt so flimsy, but she could not risk him absorbing a spell. She laced magic across the arrow and the string and the air, enough to make it fly faster and aim smoother. She sighted him easily; Tirek was a large target. Now he only had to turn around. An arrow to the spine would kill him simply and instantly, no matter how much magic he had absorbed.

Once he was dead, the hard part would come: explaining herself to Celestia.


Prereading thanks; Meta Four, Blank!, Yami Vizzini, and especially Craine

Russian translation by Doof
Chinese Translation by Dreams Set Free

Comments contain spoilers.

Chapters (7)
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Nightmare Moon won. She defeated Celestia, broke the Elements, banished the sun. This all happened a very long time ago. So long ago, that she has had plenty of time to change her mind.

Of course, fixing our mistakes is never so simple, and never without consequences. Even with particularly potent help.


"If you came to conquer, you'll be king for a day. / But you too will deteriorate and quickly fade away."
— "No Control" by Bad Religion

A big thanks to Craine, Sorren, and Idylia for prereading and editing. If you enjoyed the story, don't forget to check out their pages.

Equestria Daily
Royal Canterlot Library (FIMfic version)
Russian translation by Doof
Chinese translation by Dreams Set Free

Kitsune Heart has done a dramatic reading of this story! Find it over here.
ObabScribbler has done a dramatic reading of this story! It includes a full cast of voice actors. Find it over here.

Comments contain spoilers.

Chapters (3)
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Rainbow Dash flies east.

Chapters (200)
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I don't see what all the fuss about death is. Our princesses have been dodging it for over a thousand years. Who's to say Sweetie and I can't experiment a little? No, don't be ridiculous, zombies don't exist. Not yet, anyway.


[As seen on Equestria Daily.]

Chapters (6)
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Failing once in her attempt to take Canterlot and failing again in her attempt to take down Twilight, one would think Chrysalis would have cut her losses and let things be, but the queen has once again appeared, this time in broad daylight with no disguise and no army. Her weapon of choice? Diplomacy.

Now Twilight is having to deal with the changeling queen, but surely putting up with her antics will be worth the knowledge she's willing to provide about her mysterious race and the potential undiscovered agents still within their midst...right?

Takes place before Magical Mystery Cure and diverges from there.

With thanks to MisterGunpowder for proofreading and editing.

Revision History:

05/09/2015: Chapter 1 updated with millions of little corrections.
05/20/2015: Chapter 2 revised and edited with another million small and large corrections.
06/12/2015: Chapter 3 given a thorough editing and revision.
06/23/2015: Chapter 4 taken to the gutter and edited twice to be sure.
07/14/2015: Chapter 5 thoroughly brutalized with the editing stick.
08/03/2016: Chapter 6 finally edited. Yes, I'm still alive, dammit.
09/29/2016: Chapter 7 fell out of the editing tree and hit every editing branch on the way down.
10/26/2016: Chapter 8 has emerged from the editing emergency room.
11/17/2016: Chapter 9 found and edited. No casualties reported.
11/30/2016: Chapter 10 treated for whiplash after lightning fast editing.
12/22/2016: Chapter 11 edited. Chrysalis shot first.
01/17/2017: Epilogue edited. Time to hit the cider.

Chapters (12)