More than seven hundred people lay on the forest floor. They were sprawled out in between the trees and around bushes. The thick forest made for a very uncomfortable place to lay, but at the time no one cared. The nearby stream sung a merry song of gurgling and splashing, but its merriment fell upon deaf ears. Each person was rolling around on the ground writhing in debilitating agony. Their moans, cries, and whimpers coalesced into a pitiful chorus which echoed through the trees. Even through the extreme discomfort, there were people moving about trying to bring comfort to those they could. They piled up leaves for pillows and broke out any and all spare blankets and covered people with them. They passed out water to those who asked for it and gave everyone the comfort they denied themselves for the benefit of others.
The entire Fellowship Of Leadership was doing their best to care for their fellow man and woman. Jewel grimaced in pain as he contemplated what could have caused the sudden apparent sickness, 'What do we all have in . . . *groan* common? We all ate different foods yesterday, but . . . *groan* the symptoms are all the same. Abdominal pain just above and to . . . *pant* the side of the stomach. If it were on the other side, I would say it was the liver.'
His internal diagnosis ended abruptly as the sound of vomiting reached his ears. He raised his head sharply, ignoring the pain for a moment. His concern was for the others. His eyes came to rest on the bent over form of Vacca. The hardy Italian was bent almost double as he vomited loudly into the half exposed roots of a cedar tree away from the main body of the group. Vacca heaved a second time then a third time as Jewel stumbled his way over.
"Hey man, you alright?" Jewel asked wincing as another wave of pain hit him.
"Yeah, I'm fucking peachy, standing here puking my goddamn guts out." Vacca answered hoarsely, "Sure is funny colors though. Don't remember eating anything gold colored and shiny."
Jewel looked down and furrowed his eyebrows. Vacca was right. The only thing he threw up was a shiny gold colored liquid. The liquid was shimmering in the waning sunlight and looked to be liquid gold. Jewel felt his mouth start to water and his stomach knotted up in preparation of purging its contents.
Jewel took long slow breaths trying to calm his stomach but it did no good. He bent double and exhaled everything in his stomach in a long, loud deep yell. He heaved a second time, then a third. Free from the irritant, his stomach settled suddenly as if there had never been anything wrong at all.
"See," Vacca said slapping him on the back, "Peachy right?" he paused for a brief second before adding, "Looks like you puked up the same thing I did. Bet you ten bucks we all do the same thing."
"I think I agree with you. Oh and shut up." Jewel said half joking.
The sounds of dozens of people being sick filled the trees within a few moments,
"Everyone get to a tree and throw up near there!" Jewel yelled.
Vacca and Jewel began running from person to person helping them to move around and keep from throwing up on others. As luck would have it, Vacca ended up covered in vomit while Jewel didn't have a drop on him. Vacca did manage to keep people from throwing up on others though. Calvin was the next to clear up, then Leo, then Masonete, then Richardson, then Eduardo, then Morris, and finally the rest of the Leadership. Once they were good to go, they rushed around helping those who were still being sick. Vomit flowed like water and just as Vacca had predicted, it was all an alarming color of shiny gold.
* * *
It took nearly two hours, but the Fellowship had maneuvered the entire group to the far side of the stream to keep them away from the pools of vomit. The puke was already beginning to settle and no one wanted to stay in the vicinity. Eduardo had stayed on the far side making sure that no bags or gear or weapons had been left behind in the puke.
The rest of the group was lying down, resting after all the hurling. They were almost all asleep. Everyone was tired after such an ordeal. The pain had lasted for an hour before the purging began and they were exhausted. There was a small group of people who were still awake though. They had plenty of things to worry about and take care of while everyone else napped in the warm afternoon.
"Alright, Jewel, Richardson, Leo anybody have any idea why we all came down with a stomach bug that made us throw up liquid gold?" Joyner asked quietly.
"No, but I think we should stay here for a couple of days just to make sure there's no lingering effects. We won't be able to travel very well with sick people. Having folks support the injured while we move is bad enough as it is. If we didn't have a place to wash old bandages we would be screwed. Jason's doing the best he can with making soap from ashes and everything but here soon we're going to need to break out the soaps from the bags. I agree that we need to make everything last but I'm not about to play around and take chances with infection in an environment like this one. I say we stay here for three days, I'd suggest five but we'd be risking discovery at that point." Jewel said.
"We'll be risking discovery every day we stay here. It's not just discovery either. We don't have any safe places to make fires in all these trees so we'll have to be eating cold rations from the bags. Fires would give us away anyway. We should send out scouting parties to look for any source of food. This stream here has fish but there's no way I'm going to ask anyone to risk eating raw fish." Jason said firmly.
"Anyone got any idea what we're gonna do with all the shiny, gold colored puke?" Kaneesha asked, "Leaving that crap all over the place ain't gonna do the environment any good. Next time it rains heavy, it's all gonna wash right into the stream. Maybe someone's usin' it for drinkin' water. That ain't cool."
"Good point," Joyner admitted, "We need to bury it, or as much as we can. The smell might attract predators or give us away to the equinoids."
"I've been thinking about that actually." Hord said rubbing his scruffy chin, "The equinoids should have been able to easily track us by scent or sound, yet we haven't seen a single one since this morning. On Earth we'd have been found within a few hours. They would have sent out search parties with dogs. Something doesn't add up. If they think like the U.S. government does, why didn't they have tighter security around their camp. If Marines were sent to intercept aliens for ANY reason, we would have a Marine on guard, spaced out every twenty feet around a camp that size. Any movement would have been put down on contact. This isn't adding up. Where's the pursuit, where's the dogs, where's the hundreds of military scouring the forest for tracks? We took precautions, but I've looked and we're still leaving a trail I could follow at night while blindfolded. Besides after a week here and nobody having time to wash, we stink to high heaven. Hell, I can smell us down wind."
"I've got a theory about that actually." Jason said, "The equinoids Masonete saw were bright white and the ones Pering described were brightly colored and sung loudly enough to be heard several hundred yards away. At first I thought they might be venomous, like Pering said, but maybe it's more simple than that. Let's say their vision is poor, their bright colors would make them stand out enough to identify at a distance."
"But what about the bows and crossbows and javelins? You need to be able to see well to use those to their fullest potential." Ludwig said.
"I don't have an answer for that yet, but perhaps it's just as simple as the equinoids not being able to use them to their fullest potential. Do remember the very vast majority of the weapons we have are melee weapons meant for short range and the armor Masonete described was thick for close quarters combat." Jason explained, "The crux of my theory is that their senses are not a finely tuned as we are used to seeing on animals and that brings me to my next bit of theory. In nature, if any creature has deficiency in one area, they have something to counteract that weakness, otherwise the creature goes extinct. These equinoids are not extinct, in fact they seem to be the dominant species here, so what strength do they have to counteract their weaknesses?"
"The telekinesis and wings!" Brinsin exclaimed, "They can levitate stuff and fly!"
"Correct, but that only encompasses two of the four types we've seen thus far. I saw a few of the pegasus ones and something occurred to me. Their bodies are much to large for their wings to support in flight, even if they have hollow bones. There's something we're not seeing with those and I'm willing to bet the ones that don't have wings or horns are just as gifted in some other fashion or form, otherwise they wouldn't have been included with the military unit we raided."
"So their senses are dulled compared to ours?" Morris asked, "We see the same thing in Humans. Our senses are nowhere near the precision that's been developed by animals. The animals here seem identical to the ones on our world, so the hidden advantage the equinoids have must be pretty potent in order to allow them to be the dominant species."
"Do yall think it's connected to the stuff we all threw up earlier?" Calvin asked, "I know I haven't thrown up anything like that before, back on Earth. Figure we probably all got here at the same time, we all got sick at the same time. It might be connected."
"The two events of arrival and sickness may well be connected, good observation by the way Calvin. I highly doubt the equinoids have anything to do with that." Joyner said.
"Actually, they might be connected, just not in the way we think." Vacca said, "I know I was feeling crummy before I threw up but I didn't even notice it until after I did. There's one other thing too. I could see the world much more clearly after I threw up. It was like someone had adjusted the prescription on my glasses and I could suddenly see clearly."
"Yeah, I noticed that too." Leo said, "I can hear shit a lot more clearly, but I feel a bit sleepy, like I ain't eaten for a day. You think that's what's affectin' the horse things?"
Vacca nodded,
"Yup. I don't know how we . . . ingested it but I think the equinoids have some sort of way to maybe process it or refine it or maybe that's just the way they're built." he shrugged, " I don't know for sure but it might be our connection. We do know that the Human body can't use it so we throw it up. Remember it's just a theory. It could have just as easily been some new disease that made us puke gold. We're on a new world with new rules, who knows what's different."
"Hey amigos," Eduardo yelled from across the stream where everyone had been sick, "Come see this! Man, this is loco!"
* * *
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were reclining on the soft grass of the field the Humans had been camped in. Celestia had taken the time to address the entire Guard earlier in order to minimize any more misunderstandings regarding the country's newest guests. A pavilion tent had been erected for them in the field and they were enjoying the shade. The tent had been one of hundreds the Pegasus Regiment had brought for the Humans. The Princesses were conducting their interviews of potential candidates when a voice called from outside.
"Princess!" an Earth Pony Guard slid to a halt just inside the tent, "A detachment of fifty Unicorns is missing! They said they were going to scout around to look for tracks but they haven't reported back yet!"
Celestia and Luna rose to their hooves fluidly,
"How long have they been gone Sargent?" Celestia asked urgently.
"They were supposed to have returned once the sun reached the peak of the trees but I was so preoccupied with re-equipping our Guards that I lost track of time." he bowed deeply, "I am so sorry Princess. This is my failure. I'd like to request permission to search for them."
"Who is commanding the group?" Celestia asked.
"Lieutenant Proud Hoof." the Guard said.
"I demoted him this morning." Celestia said quietly, "He was supposed to be relieved of command by Sgt. Just Cause."
"The Sgt. was never informed, your Majesty." the Guard said, "He's been helping me distribute equipment to our Guards since this morning. The Lieutenant never said a anything about his demotion. He showed up to be re-issued equipment but he didn't say anything. I was there."
Celestia's mind began calculating furiously and she came to a conclusion almost instantly,
"Would you like to handle this sister? I neglected to include you before and I regret that decision."
Luna nodded,
"Of course. I assume you will continue with the interviews?"
"Yes, we have to play to our strengths right now. Thank you sister." Celestia said gratefully.
Luna strode briskly past the Sgt. at the front of the tent,
"Come, we have work to do."
She headed away from the tent and gracefully strode toward the mass of equipment that had been laid out for distribution not looking to see if the Sergeant was following or not. The Earth Pony dutifully fell in step with his Princess, eyes forward and face blank.
"Were the unicorns armed?" Luna asked never turning her head.
"Yes your Majesty. They claimed weapons from the pile that was left in the field. Captain Honor ordered the Unicorns to be equipped due to the Earth Ponies' natural strength and greater unarmed combat training." the Sargent said flatly.
Luna's tone betrayed nothing,
"You disagree?"
"That is not my place, Princess. I do as I am told." he replied neutrally.
"Yes and if the Pegasus Regiment had done so, it is highly likely there would be a great many dead bodies to burry by day's end. I am asking for your personal opinion Sergeant . . . " Luna trailed off, waiting for the Guard to finish the sentence.
"Bold Move, your Majesty." he replied.
"What would you have done Sgt. Bold Move?" Luna asked.
"I would have been very selective about who received a weapon after so many of our number expressed such an extreme reaction to the theft last night. The ones who seemed the most volatile would not be issued a weapon immediately for fear of them attempting to seek retribution for the theft." Bold Move said flatly.
"A wise decision." Luna mused quietly, "Tell me, what would you do in regard to the Humans as of now?"
"It's such a strange word on the tongue." Bold Move mumbled quietly, "I would select experienced scouts and ensure they were level headed, then send them out to scour the immediate area to look for a trail. I would select Earth Ponies who have training in Tremor Sensing and have them go without armor for speed and stealth and without weapons for the same reasons. The Humans didn't attack us and they had the perfect opportunity to do so. By that, I doubt they would harm a Pony, especially if they do not present a threat. The scouts would have explicit instructions not to engage our targets, but to report back on what direction they were headed. After that, I would need more information to make a sound decision. I can tell you that I would not engage them quickly though. I would only fight if there was no other option and if I had time to chose the location. I would engage on my own terms, use the environment. I find it's a tactic that is sorely under used. Prince Shining Armor spoke on it often, when he was still Captain, but most didn't listen. He thought tactics were much more important than numbers or even armaments. Most of the Guard scoffed behind his back but I and others like me attended his every lecture."
"Where do you see yourself in the future Sgt.?" Luna asked.
"As a Lieutenant and perhaps as Captain one day if the opportunity presents itself. If not then I will serve until I am called by 'The Need' to begin a family." he answered honestly.
"I believe the opportunity is presenting itself . . . Lieutenant." Luna said, "It has come to the attention of my sister and I that there are a great many problems with our Guard. An inordinate amount of pride has settled over your number and that pride is what blinded your former commanders to order the Pegasus Regiment to attack the Humans on site. Fresh ideas are needed and a fresh perspective to go with them. The position of command is yours, if you accept it."
Bold Move continued walking stoically, never flinching or showing any reaction,
"I will serve, your Majesty."
"Excellent, select twenty Ponies of your choice and carry out your plan immediately. Tell me, who else would you suggest for advancement?" Luna asked.
"Corporal Swift Wind, Private Steady Plod, and Sergeant Peach Pit. I don't much like Peach Pit but he has hidden depths beneath his haughty exterior and abrasive personality, as much as I don't want to admit it, he is probably a better tactician than I am. He sought personal tutelage from Captain Armor." Bold Move said honestly.
"Thank you Lt. I will seek them immediately." Luna said.
"Corporal Swift Wind is a Pegasus. You can probably find him up in the air, he dislikes being on the ground. Private Steady Plod os an Earth Pony. Him you will likely find close to any maps, he loves maps and can generally predict movements. He is somewhat slow to act, but cautious. In our training practice he was almost always right when moving to capture an enemy base. Sergeant Peach Pit is a Unicorn. You will find him getting information from the Guards who were posted on watch last night. He'll be talking to them to try to get a feel for where our weak point was. If he's already finished that, he'll be cataloging the tracks the Humans left so he can understand their methods and mindset." Bold Move explained.
"Who would you recommend for finding and dealing with Proud Hoof?" Luna asked.
"Steady Plod to find them and Peach Pit to lead the party to subdue them and determine what to do with them. He will be verbally abusive to them at first but his judgement will be fair in the end." the new Lieutenant explained.
Luna nodded,
"Very well. Go on about your business Lieutenant. I will see to everypony else myself."
* * *
"So the shiny gold vomit just made these plants grow?" Jason asked kneeling to examine one of the saplings.
The entire Fellowship of Leadership and the entirety of the group of other Humans was gathered in a stand of four foot tall saplings that had not been there earlier in the day.
"Yeah I know, this is some bruja shit man! This is fuckin' voodoo! This ain't natural!" Eduardo said frantically.
"Just calm down Eduardo." Joyner said soothingly, "We don't know what's going on yet and it's not a good idea to be jumping to conclusions." he leaned in close to the young Hispanic man, "Do you want everyone to panic? They look up to us. We have to stay calm."
"Heh," Morris chuckled, drawing all eyes, "At least we don't have to worry about it tainting the water."
"That's true," Richardson said, "Whatever it was we threw up must have been natural. If it wasn't it wouldn't have made these trees grow."
Leo scratched his chin,
"We should save that shit if we throw up again."
"That's brilliant!" Spearman exclaimed, "If we use it on crops, imagine what we could grow! We could feed everyone easily."
"You're right!" Jason said, "The height of these saplings is indicative of half a year's growth! If we could apply it to crops we could . . . wow!"
"Seems like this sin't bad news after all." Ludwig said.
"It could be cyclical too." Vacca said, "We throw it up, it feeds the plants, we eat the plants, we throw it up. It's not a pleasant thought but it could work. One afternoon of stomach ache for all that food? If nothing else our pain tolerance will be good."
His comment caused many a chuckle from the gathered group. Eduardo felt bad for panicking so quickly, 'Man, I was acting all loco over nothing! I coulda caused a major problem. I almost let everyone down. I gotta get my shit straight.'
"Don't you think we might be jumping the gun a little bit here?" Jewel asked, "We don't know if that stuff is safe yet. We can try it I guess but we need to be careful, cause last I checked eating your own vomit wasn't such a good idea."
"We'll just have to wait and see." Joyner said, "For now, let's split up and scout around for food and other resources. Fifty person groups, just like with the raid, get with the Leadership member you were with before and follow their directions. Spearman go North, Brinsin go North-East, Richardson go East, Calvin go South-East, Ludwig go South, Jewel go South-West, Hord go West, and Jason go North-West. The rest of us will stay here and set up as much of a temporary camp as we can. Let's get to it."
Vacca, Leo, Kaneesha, Morris, and Eduardo walked up to Joyner,
"Alright then, Vacca I want you to ruffle through bags and find tarps and anything else we can use for covering. String them up tall enough for people to walk under. Got it?"
"No problem." he turned to the people left that he had led during the raid, "Everyone who was with me, come on."
Joyner turned to the remaining medic in training,
"Leo I'd like you to clear out an area for the injured and make sure they have places to sit and lay. Make spaces for them to sit, eight at a time for the overnight watch facing the eight directions. Collect the medical equipment bags and set them out for you, Richardson, and Jewel. You think you know enough to take care of basic bandage changing?"
"Yeah I got that. I ain't stupid ya know." he turned and waved his hand, "Yo! Ereone who was with me get off yo asses! We got places to clear. Yall that got assigned to someone hurt, stay with 'em till someone comes to get ya. Keep 'em comfortable an' shit. The rest o' yall follow me."
"Kaneesha, can I have you find Masonete and the two of you scout around a fifty foot perimeter. Use those strings of yours and tie up a few tripwires in any place that looks like someone or something could get in close. Make the distances between trees short to maximize the tension in the wires." Joyner instructed.
"On it." she turned and walked off yelling into the thick forest, "Yo, Masonete! We got us a job to do."
Joyner turned his attention to Morris,
"Take your group and some paper. I want you to catalog how many of which types of bags we have. Give me a good inventory so we know what we have to work with exactly. We didn't have a chance to do so earlier."
"Heh, not an issue." Morris said, "Come on everyone, collect all the bags and bring them to the bank of the stream."
"Eduardo do you know how to use a spear or sword?" Joyner asked.
Eduardo shook his head,
"I know how to use a knife and a machete but I got nothin' for spears. I'm sorry man."
"It's better than most others know. Now, I need you to be honest with me. Did you ever learn how to use a machete on a person?" Joyner asked quietly.
Eduardo scuffed his feet,
"I left that life behind me amigo." he said quietly, "But yeah, I did."
"That's actually good." Joyner said.
Eduardo looked up sharply, expression puzzled,
"How is that a good thing?"
"Because almost no one has any idea how to use a blade in a fight. I want you to begin teaching people how to wield short swords. They're about the size and weight of a machete, maybe a little heavier. Show them why they are dangerous and how to use them. Give a few demonstrations and show them the ropes. Can you do that?" Joyner asked.
Eduardo raised his head, but had a sad look in his eyes,
"I don't like what I know amigo, but I'll show 'em how to fight."
"You'll be showing me too. I'm going to be participating." Joyner said with a slight smile, "Let's collect some blades and get to practicing."
* * *
Swift Wind winged about on the currents of wind high above the field as he circled in for a landing, 'Why did Princess Luna ask me to report to Princess Celestia?' he wondered idly. The thermals from the warm field lent him a powerful updraft. He wished dearly to stay aloft but when his Princess commanded him, he obeyed. Swift Wind landed in front of the pavilion tent in the middle of the field. The front flap of the tent was closed but he saw he wasn't the only Guard that had to wait. He immediately saw his friend Steady Plod waiting by the entrance.
"Hey there Steady!" the pegasus greeted the Earth Pony cheerfully, "What brings you here? Get a mysterious order from Princess Luna?" he chuckled.
"Actually, yes." Steady Plod answered, "She sent you too didn't she."
"Yeah she did. Any idea what's going on? You always were better than me at predictions." Swift Wind said.
"I explained it to you before, there is no predicting involved. It's pure logic. I take all possibilities and remove the impossible, then select the most likely by comparing the possibilities to personalities of the individuals involved and choosing the one that fits the best. It is commonly known as the process of elimination. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever is left, no matter how unlikely, must be the answer. It's all about knowing ponies."
Swift Wind ruffled his feathers,
"I don't ever use logic. For me . . . "
"I know, I know. You just 'feel' what is right. We've had this conversation before you silly feather brain. My answer then was the same as my answer now. You are what's called 'intuitive' while I'm 'logical'. Those are proper names. I would suggest you learn them." Steady Plod said sourly.
"Aw come on Steady Plot . . . " Swift Wind began.
"Plod." the scowling Earth Pony corrected.
"Whatever." the Pegasus said absently, "Don't get your tail twisted. I'm just playing."
"And the frequency of your efforts in that regard show clearly on your record." Steady said quietly.
"While your complete lack of it doesn't show on yours. In fact, last I heard, I had twice the accolades you did." Swift said haughtily.
"Yes, and twice the negative marks to match. I may not have many marks to my name, but the ones I do have are all positive." the serious Earth Pony replied.
"You're always so humble Steady. How can I be more like you?" Swift Wind said with a sardonic smile.
"Try being serious once in a while." Steady Plod replied with a rare smile.
The two of them had known each other ever since they had enlisted. Despite their polar opposite personalities, they knew that each would support the other no matter what. Swift Wind was literally the only pony who could get Steady Plod to smile, while Steady was the only pony who could get Swift to be serious. The other Guards called them 'The Twins' and both Swift and Steady each wore their half of the title with pride. Their constant back and forth banter was largely ignored by the other Guards as 'just the twins going at it again'. They were as close as brothers and neither would have it any other way. They worked well together despite their differences. Each always seemed to know exactly what the other would do.
During practice training for group maneuvers, every other Guard hated being on the team opposite from the two of them. Steady Plod's plans were well known to be the best and Swift Wind's intuition once the action started was second to none. Working together they had always led their teams to victory and on some occasions even carried their teams. On the single instance they had been on opposite teams the result had been the first ever draw in the history of the entire Royal Guard.
The flap of the pavilion tent opened revealing a Unicorn Guard wearing a confused expression,
"Uh, next I guess." he said before wandering off.
Swift lifted his left wing, gesturing toward the entrance,
"You were here first."
"Thanks . . . Broken Wind." Steady said as he entered the tent.
"What a thing to say." a regal voice said.
Steady Plod turned his head toward Celestia, face white,
"Oh no, not you your Majesty!" he said nervously.
"Who were you talking to Private?" Celestia asked.
"Corporal Swift Wind." Steady Plod replied.
Celestia raised her right eyebrow,
"Insubordination toward a superior officer?"
"N . . . No . . . I . . . Just . . . " Steady Plod stuttered, absolutely mortified.
Celestia laughed lightly,
"Relax Private, it is good to hear such camaraderie between ranks."
Swift Wind poked his head into the tent,
"Pardon me, Princess but Steady Plod and I would be the same rank if not for lack of availability of positions."
"Really? The two of you seem to get along very well. I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. The last Guard must have thought me very insulting once I started laughing at the name 'Steady Plot'. In all truth, he was not the type of Pony I was hoping for anyway. You two though, you seem as different as my sister and I, yet you are obviously good friends. Tell me, what are your areas of expertise?" Celestia asked.
The two Guards answered in unison,
"Tactics and plans of action."
Celestia smiled as she crossed her hooves,
"Do tell and please don't leave out any details."
* * *
"Well this was a bust." Brinsin said, his tone disappointed.
He had led his group of fifty people to the North-East through the thick forest, just like Joyner had asked. Brinsin was not a skilled woodsman like Jason, but he had more than enough sense to know what an obviously edible plant looked like. He could easily identify most fruits and berries and he had quickly learned to play it safe. The event with Eric dying from the mushroom had taught him that. Unfortunately, neither he nor a single person in his group had seen any edible plants anywhere throughout the entirety of the afternoon. Brinsin had learned to tell direction by the sun after the first day of exploring around the origin field and after the second day, he could estimate time using the lengths of shadows.
He had instructed his group to drop their bags, spears, and shields back by the stream, in order to free up their hands. He told them to keep their short swords though, just to be safe. They had been following the stream. Since it flowed toward the North-East none of them needed to take canteens. The lack of weight had been a boon to the distance they covered and to the speed of their progress. Even Brinsin had to agree that he was getting good at finding safe footing. The fact that everyone's feet were covered with thick cloth might have helped too. He slowed his pace to a stop then turned and faced his group.
Brinsin cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled,
"Let's stop here for a few minutes yall. Have a seat, take a load off, whatever. Just stay put aiit?"
"And what if I got to take a shit!?" a man's voice yelled back from the group.
Brinsin rolled his eyes
"Then go take one, jeez! I ain't stoppin' nobody from relievin' theyselves. Now if yall aks me to wipe your asses, then we got a problem!"
Brinsin rested his right hand on the hilt of his sword as a thought occurred to him, 'The group shouldn't stay by the stream too long. Erebody gonna get restless an' start fightin' in a day or two an' all these people got weapons now, this could get ugly real fast.' his thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of yelling near the stream.
"YO!" he said quickly turning toward the sound, "What's goin' on?"
Two caucasian men stood on the bank of the stream, swords drawn, scowling at each other. The rest of the group had formed a semicircle around the two. Brinsin's lime of sight was partially obscured by the press of people.
"Move yall!" Brinsin yelled, pushing his way through, "What the hell is goin' on?"
"This asshole," one dark haired man said pointing to the man across from him, "Shoved me when I was taking a drink!"
"Bullshit!" the blond man spat back, "I tripped and bumped into him by accident! Then he gets all pissed and draws on me!"
"YO COOL IT!" Brinsin ordered loudly, "Are yall seriously about to kill each other over this . . . THIS? What are yall fuckin' kindergartners? Man the fuck up! Ain't no reason to kill nobody! Put yo' shit away and handle this like adults or I'm about to smack some sense into yall!"
The two men turned on Brinsin,
"Who the fuck put you in change anyway, shrimp?" the blond man asked.
"Yeah," the other man agreed, "Why should I listen to a nig . . . " his sentence cut off as Brinsin's fist caught him in the jaw.
The shorter black man swiftly turned to the other man,
"You wanna finish that word?" he asked menacingly, "You gonna put yo' shit away." he said slowly, "Right now."
The man sheathed his sword petulantly,
"Fine. Don't want my face busted."
"We all had a bad day yall. Erebody's hungry an' cranky. Yall get a good long drink an' then we gonna head back an' get somethin' to eat." he turned to the groaning man holding his jaw, "An' I better not hear nobody callin' nobody else names, especially no racial slurs. Got it?"
"Yeah," the man said darkly, "I got it."
"Good. Now get up, get a drink, an' let's get goin'. It's gonna be gettin' dark soon."
* * *
Peach Pit squinted at the strange tracks, that had been left in the campsite, 'Human.' he thought, 'Thieves they are." he thought sourly, 'Sneaking, robbing, ungrateful thieves. Well, it's time to find out how you work, thieves.' The scene of the raid had been cleared and nearly all the strange tracks had been obscured by hundreds of hoof prints. Peach Pit had scoured the site looking for any intact prints left by the interlopers. He counted himself lucky to have found two sets of intact prints. A piece of charcoal and a sheaf of parchment floated next to his head as he logged his findings and observations.
He stood next to the edge of the forest and spoke his thoughts out loud as he wrote them down,
"Subject One, as indicated by the depth of the prints, weighs between eleven and twelve stones. Height undetermined, age undetermined, gender undetermined, species Human. The spacing of the prints of Subject One are similar to that of a monkey, except the . . . toes are much too short to be capable of being used for gripping. This indicates that the species is ground bound. This in turn eliminates the possibility of the species using the branches of trees for locomotion. This also deepens the mystery of how Subject One and others of its ilk were able to penetrate the camp unseen. The spacing of the prints indicates either an extremely tall quadruped or a marginally tall biped." the Unicorn lowered his head to where his chin touched the ground and squinted along the prints, "Subject One entered the site from a Western direction." he turned and peered around for a moment before his eyes zeroed in on a deep set of hoof prints, "Subject One seems to have come within . . . an estimated thirty paces of a sentry and yet remained undetected." he turned his gaze back to the strange prints and followed them, "Subject One seems to have proceeded into the closest tent. Tent will be labeled Tent One." Peach Pit cautiously raised and lowered his hooves, careful not to destroy the prints as he followed their trail, "Subject One enters Tent One, still unnoticed." he noted no depth difference of the prints, "Subject One, finding nothing of apparent value, then exits Tent One," he continued following the prints closely, "And enters the next closest one, here after referred to as Tent Two. Subject One exits the Tent Two and the prints left by Subject One from that point onward are deeper, indicating an increase of weight." Peach Pit levitated a short string out of his saddle bags and lowered it into the deeper prints, "Weight increase estimated to be between two and three stones." he put the string back and turned around carefully, still following the prints, "Subject One then exits the camp in the same direction initially utilized for entry. The consistent spacing of the prints indicates that Subject One was in no particular hurry to exit the camp." he came back to the edge of the forest and sighed heavily, "At this point the prints of Subject One become indistinguishable from those of others due to the number of overlapping prints."
Peach Pit sat down and continued his thoughts,
"There seem to be several possibilities for why Subject One ventured to a second tent instead of stealing from the Guards in the first tent. Possibility One: Tent One had already been liberated of equipment and supplies. Possibility Two: the Guards within Tent One were light sleepers and may have stirred, thus convincing Subject One to look elsewhere for goods to pilfer. Possibility Three: Subject One may have been searching for a specific item or items."
Peach Pit rolled up his notes on Subject One and levitated them into his left saddle bag. Taking the remaining paper, he trotted across the camp site to a small yellow flag he had tied to a tree to mark the location of the prints of his next subject.
"Sergeant Peach Pit?" a loud feminine voice echoed from the West, Peach Pit's right.
The Unicorn stallion raised his head quickly but couldn't make out the new comer due to the shadows of the trees,
"Don't come into the clearing! You'll ruin any good prints! There's few enough as is!" he barked harshly.
A dark shape took wing and flew over to the Unicorn stallion,
"Will hoovering be satisfactory Sargent?"
Peach Pit raised his head to reply but the rebuke died on his lips,
"Princess Luna!" he executed a swift, deep bow, "Forgive me your Majesty! I had no idea it was you!"
Luna smirked mischievously at the prostrate Guard,
"Do I have permission to land then? Or will I ruin any 'good prints'?"
Peach Pit felt his face heat up in embarrassment,
"You do not need my permission to do anything within your kingdom your Highness."
"I'm glad we have an understanding." she said as she landed in front of him, "Rise Sergeant." she commanded, "Tell me, what do you know of the raid last night?"
Peach Pit rose to attention and saluted briskly,
"The creatures . . . "
"They are called Humans Sergeant." Luna interrupted, "Continue."
"The Humans penetrated the camp of two Regiments of your Royal Guard, without being noticed, and stole a great deal of equipment, including all my personal belongings. They then departed and left behind a large number of our weapons in a field to the West."
"Is that everything you know?" Luna asked.
"I could go into detail on my findings and theories, but it would probably be boring to you." Peach Pit answered.
Princess Luna's expression brightened,
"Not at all. I would love to hear every single thought you have. It it not widely known, but I was the inspiration for all research on mathematics and sciences. Your findings and especially your thoughts may prove pivotal in formulating our response to the actions of the Humans. Please begin."
His face betrayed nothing, but Peach Pit's heart soared. Never before had a single pony taken the time to give even a cursory glance to his methods and insights. The thought that a pony was going to review his findings elated him and the fact that it was Princess Luna nearly made him dance for joy.
He schooled his expression into neutrality and cleared his throat,
"If you will follow me Princess, I can show you my observations. I wrote down my findings," he levitated the rolled up papers out of his saddle bag and offered them to Luna, "On these pages, and my personal observations and notions on the last page."
Luna quirked an eyebrow at the small stack,
"Not much here is there?"
Peach Pit fought not to hang his head to splay back his ears,
"I'm afraid I don't have much information to work with. All I know is what Princess Celestia told us this morning. I have never seen a Human before. I have not secured the necessary information to formulate an accurate likely step by step reproduction of the events that transpired last night."
Luna sighed,
"It seems that my sister had overtaxed herself with the logistics of a swift response and neglected to provide a great many details to the Guard at first."
The two ponies reached the place where Peach Pit had begun his documentation. The stallion opened his mouth to begin explaining, but Luna held up a hoof to silence him. Her eyes were already scanning his notes.
She lowered her head and peered at the prints in front of her, then went back to the notes. She looked up a second time and slowly followed the prints to Tent One, then Tent Two, and finally back to Peach Pit. She read every word and dedicated them to memory.
Seemingly finished with the notes, Princess Luna raised her head, a look of puzzlement spread across her features,
"To both my surprise and delight, I find your notes easy to read and cohesive. Your thoughts are logical and your observations are much more detailed than I would have expected. Are you certain you did not miss your calling as a detective?"
Peach Pit's chest swelled with pride,
"This is merely a pastime for me, your Majesty. My real skills lie in strategy and tactics. I do find though that I can learn a great deal about my enemy from studying their past movements. To me it is like history, we study it to improve ourselves and to 'take the next step', as the saying goes. I learn about our enemy by studying HIS history."
"And what if your perceived enemy is not actually an enemy?" Luna asked.
Peach Pit bristled at the question, but wisely kept his tone civil,
"I would be loathe to believe it, but I have been wrong on occasion. The possibility of the Humans not being enemies HAS crossed my mind due to the lack of deaths during the raid, but I dismissed it. They left our weapons in the field for one of three reasons. One: to taunt us. Two: because they decided not to take them all. Three: because they were trying to intimidate us. I decided that the second possibility was the most logical. These Humans seem to be very light and weapons are not particularly light. Logically they took only what they could travel with at speed and left everything else in the field."
"Sound enough logic, but what would you do if you discovered that a vengeful group of Unicorns had perhaps located the Human's trail and had designs of violence despite my sister's explanation and orders this morning?" Luna asked.
"I would lead a detachment of twice their number to intercept them as quickly as possible. Once we found them I would arrest them and bring them back for judgement. Honestly, it would be very simple for me. I know every Unicorn in the Regiment and I can predict what they would do." Leach Pit said proudly.
"And if it turned out to be, say Lt. Proud Hoof?" Luna asked.
"I would bring three times their number and also bring magic nullifiers. Proud Hoof is, as his name suggests, proud. He loves being in the Guard more than being a Guard. For him, it's tradition. His weapon was stolen last night. It is an unusual one, a trident. He carries it because he was brought up training with it every day. His father used it in the Guard, his grandfather used it in the Guard. He claims he can trace his ancestry back to the first Royal Guards and that the trident is the same one used by all the Guards before him. He also claims that he has achieved the highest rank since his ancestor in the first Guard did. His pride is everything to him. If he feels that his pride has suffered, there is no telling what he might do."
"Gather a contingent of one hundred and fifty Unicorns and go after Proud Hoof." Princess Luna ordered.
Peach Pit stuttered,
"I don't have the rank to arrest him, Princess."
"Proud Hoof was demoted this morning, Lieutenant. Gather the Unicorns and follow him. Keep in mind, the Humans are not the enemy. If there is a fight, the Humans may be acting in self-defense." Luna ordered.
"Yes, your Majesty!" Peach Pit broke into a gallop, ignoring the prints he destroyed with his passing. He had much more important things to worry about.
* * *
Proud Hoof led the way through the forest scowling deeply. His eyes searched left and right for any movement as he followed the wide trail he had found earlier in the day. His head was lowered toward the ground, like a hound. His eyes blazed with fiery hatred beneath his helmet. The trail was as wide as a Pony and his unusually keen nose could make out a certain musk he had smelled in their camp earlier. He knew he was on the right trail and he was out for blood.
His thoughts raged within him, 'How dare they! They invade our land, they use our trees and food, they defecate on our soil, and then they have the audacity to STEAL our things! They insult us . . . US! We are the Royal Guard! We defend the land from invaders! We have the honor of guarding Princess Celestia! We, who have stood proud for generations almost beyond count! They walk in and steal our equipment, our food, and our dignity! THEY STOLE MY FAMILY'S TRIDENT! My pride, the legacy of my family from time beyond time, and they stole it! How dare they! HOW DARE THEY! I don't care what the Princess says! I will reclaim our honor! They will tremble in fear of our wrath! They will pay dearly for their defilement!'
The Royal Guards following him were silent as ghosts. Many of them were furious about the thefts from the previous night. Proud Hoof had told them Princess Luna had given him instructions to find, attack, and route the Humans. Proud Hoof knew that if he had claimed Princess Celestia had given the order they would never believe him. Princess Luna though, had only returned a short five years prior and was notoriously reclusive during the daytime. Her prolific use of the Royal Canterlot Voice had instilled a sense of aggressive dominance in the Royal Guard and most were hesitant to even approach her. An order of aggression was not unthinkable if it came from the boisterous Moon Princess.
Proud Hoof had set a brisk pace and was pushing himself and the other Unicorns hard. They sweated and panted quietly behind him, but the hard march was paying off. The path was flat and easy on the hooves. The ease of the terrain lent speed to their progress. Proud Hoof's nose twitched, the musky smell was growing stronger and more fresh. His finely tuned olfactory sense detected a new scent on the gentle breeze, vomit. He grinned darkly, a sick enemy would be easy for any Royal Guard to put down, especially for Unicorns trained in Battle Magic.
The sun was beginning to set and the light was fading quickly. Proud Hoof's nose picked up on another scent, fresh water. It made sense that the thieves would stop next to a usable water source. His smile broadened. The enemy wouldn't have magic to see with at night.
Proud Hoof chuckled menacingly, licking his lips in anticipation. It was sure to be a slaughter.
* * *
"Attention!" Lieutenant Peach Pit barked, "Former Lieutenant Proud Hoof has gone missing along with fifty other Unicorn Guards. As of yet we don't know why they are missing but the theory is that they mean to take revenge on the Humans for the thefts last night."
His words sparked many angry murmurers, scuffed hooves, and glares,
"Silence in the ranks!" Peach Pit barked, "Our personal feelings in this matter are irrelevant. My possessions were among those stolen, so I know how you must feel, however that does not permit us to arbitrarily ignore a direct order from Princess Celestia. When we locate Proud Hoof and the others we are going to place them under arrest and return them to the Princesses for judgement. It is possible that they may have engaged the Humans in combat. If that is the case, you are to utilize shields ONLY. DO NOT USE WEAPONS. The Humans have no magic and cannot likely break through a magical shield. You are to take any steps necessary to ensure there are NO DEATHS on either side. We are going to retrieve other Guards, not fight. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes Lieutenant!" one hundred and fifty voices shouted back in unison.
"We march!" Peach Pit ordered from the front of the column.