A surprise storm shatters reality for several hundred young college students. Follow the actions of the members of a small, but dedicated group of people as they strive, compromise, and sacrifice in the name of survival and hopefully, a nonviolence truce with those whose nation they have entered.
DISCLAIMER: many of the events depicted herein may cause some anger and confusion. Rest assured that all wrongs WILL be righted eventually. If something does not make sense, feel free to P.M. the author. He will almost always respond.
There are some similarities between this story and the exquisite works that partly inspired this story: A Voice Among The Strangers by Tystarr and also Misunderstandings by The Rogue Wolf. )
Rated Teen for foul language, racial slurs, violence, blood, sexual words and descriptions of sexual organs (but no sexual situations or sexual contact), as well as physical and mental anguish. This is not for children.
Pic is from the Discovery Channel series Survival Of The Fittest.
new chapter?
Expect a new chapter before Monday, if I can. Thanks. Glad at least one person likes it.
3945019 umm so out of the big slaughter celestia is planning to commit I kind of hope a lot of people escape her plan silly I know and unlikely I just find it depressing were a lot of people die hundreds gone to only a small group of what? less then ten or one depressing like crazy.
one a side note
this is the first time I every read about a big group of people turning up in equastria with nothing I notice out of these realistic take it either got the elements of warship soldier teen so far almost always about a lone lonely have a horrible life and family male turning up to either making friend or bad impression dark things this feel real.
I know human kind is capable of great good and great evil I hope this story will show both sides for both pony and human alike.
It will indeed Nighters. Would any humans be willing to ever want peace with a group that simply slaughtered them for crimes others committed? Do you honestly think Celestia would simply massacre the only representatives of a new species on the knowledge of one individual alone? You obviously haven't read my other stories. (My good friend Trooper7051 posted them for me before I came to Fimfiction) You can find them here:
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/trooper7051
Truthseeker
3946383 for some reason I wanted to post this. sorry
she called all the guards and say something ominous it for the better so that felt a little dark and some sort of dark turn of nature in her past raise again... ill admite I jump the gun but um sorry...
It's alright, no biggie.
And then in an unexpected turn of events, human proved to be the tastiest meat ever known to pony kind. There were no survivors.
Jesus Christ haven't the ponies heard of an IV drip?
They don't actually tranquilize their patients by reducing them to a state of famine?
It would take him weeks to get that thin... they must have at least been giving him water or he wouldn't have woken up!
The coma was medically induced and they did have him on an IV, that's why he was alive. The issue came because they were unaware of human dietary needs and so ended up giving him kavim amounts of food and of the wrong types.
I thought I had specified that only the Prologue was in a state of readiness though. The other chapters are only rough drafts. I greatly appreciate the Favorite though.
Truthseeker
I previously had a 'Chapter 7: Waking Up' posted but I erased it due to a severer editing S.N.A.F.U. on my part. This 'Chapter 7: The Chase Is On' is not the same one I originally put up.
I was honestly not expecting much out of this fic when I opened it up. Here I am, three hours later, wishing there were more chapters to read. Well done! I'm a pretty picky reader, but you've met all my usual standards of grammar, word use, and spelling. Also, the plot drew me in. Your writing has markedly improved over the course of just a few chapters. The first chapter was a little difficult to get through because of the large amount of explaining you did, rather than showing the situation. This has improved drastically. Go you! I like the fact that you have been mostly realistic about the survival aspect. The only thing I question is the raid on the Guard camp. It went over unrealistically well I think, but it seems to be an important plot point, so I'll deal with it. Overall, I'm impressed. You get a fave and a thumbs up from me. :)
so out of the 800 people are there children and expecting parents in the mix? I just see it as there teen adult children and maybe grandparent there as well.
not good. another chapter soonish please?
Proud Hoof sounds like the sort of officer who wound up 'fragged' in Vietnam.
Working on Chapter 9 already. Yall have to give me some time, I'm writing these on my phone while at work.
I certainly admire you for taking on such a complex task, with so many people involved. Survival issues, interpersonal conflicts, language barrier, cultural misunderstandings... I can tell you're really putting in the effort to make it realistic. Great job so far, I look forward to seeing how things play out. I just hope some things start going right soon... A lot of stories have everything go wrong until the very end, which gets frustrating. For me, at least.
Unfortunately, I can't guarantee anything. I never initially intended to write anything aside from my other story: The Vagabond. When I started The Unity Pact it was nothing more than a creative writing exercise. I haven't planned any part of it and I will not in the future either. It writes itself, I am but the poor fool whose fingers it chose to manifest itself through.
4075331 Well, it seems the method works thus far for you. Good luck! I once tried to write a story the same way. It went very well, until I had to take a break from it for some reason. When I came back to it the story just never flowed as well again, and it languishes to this day in a notebook somewhere.
I very much hope you have better success than I, because I want to see how this tale unfolds.
I love it so far. though shouldn't the $ sign be in front of the number?
Oh and one more thing......
I finally get to post the first comment
how did you spell Hord's first name wrong? up near the top of the chapter.
4075359
I agree. i am anxiously waiting to see how this unfolds. especially as i am in it.
ooooo poor girl.
Just to be clear, Richardson's reaction to seeing hard combat for the first time is actually the most healthy reaction and the most normal. Most people literally can't understand the psychological toll it takes on you seeing something like that.
Believe me, I know.
Powerful chapter. You definitely captured the anger and the grief on both sides. And the Music of Harmony connecting everyone like that... beautiful scene. I almost cried picturing it. Kudos.
Thanks, that means a lot to me. I didn't plan for it at all, but it just came out. Thanks for the encouragement every one.
Well Damn. I'm in tears
On another note. You might want to go back to the first couple of chapters and change your authors notes.
Ok Truthseeker, you got me here. I'll admit im not a big fan of ponies, but by God, I look forward to each and every new chapter you put up. I think this is an amazing read for any person that doesnt know too much about Celestia, Luna, and the world they are in. I get to the end and wish it kept going. I have so many questions but by the looks of your writing style, it seems certain things are meant to be elusive and will most likely be revealed later on. Brilliant work. =)
P.S. Can someone tell me what the Royal Canterlot voice is all about?
I thought it took the cake's a year for there children to be born? wait maybe I missed something.
The average gestational period for Humans is nine months and eleven months for equines. In both species the first three months carry a high chance of natural spontaneous abortion, after that point the zygote has changed to an embryo and has a much higher chance of coming to term.
4118234 question the spell they ate on those rolls won't those three throw up the magic? yuck I know but possible.
Who knows?
well ok. you didn't kill him. still a little confused as to why. but i trust you.
Yeah for Shadow!!!!
For those of you who are curious here is a picture of Shadow the Fox.
dec.ny.gov/images/wildlife_images/redfox2.jpg
not surprise he got tired he might be fast but are species walked and stalked are prey literally to death we don't need strength or speed we just have to outlast you....
so yeah sorry that was creepy of me sorry.
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/364/b/1/the_bipedal_advantage_by_0particle-d4ks8td.jpg
Nice idea having the travel be described in Razor Wit's journal. I had some issues reading this chapter, however, due to an unusually large number of grammatical and spelling errors. I suppose they could be ascribed to being written in a field journal, but not only was it jarring to read, if I remember correctly Razor is something of a linguistics expert. To give an idea of how prevalent they were, I found seven in a quick scan of the first day's log alone.
I don't want to fill up a massive comment with all of them. If you'd like, I can go through more thoroughly and message you what I find. I'm no professional editor, but I think I can find enough of them that it'll read a bit easier. Not gonna raise a fuss if you want to leave it as is, just thought I should point it out and offer my help.
The style of the chapter is supposed to be particularly rough, seeing that it's being written as a field journal. Hope it wasn't too sketchy.
I saw a few spelling errors. But other than that nothing that needed fixing.
onto the review.
yeah that definitely sounds right. i can imagine actually dealing with this guy
Well played messing with my paranoia.
Please keep this family in prayer, if you are spiritually minded. This happened right down the street from where I work every day and I know this little boy.
http://wavy.com/2014/03/31/child-struck-by-car-in-norfolk/
DUN DUN DUN.............
IT HAS BEGUN!!!!!!!!
I just read through this story and I'm very anxious to read the rest. I can't wait!
Patience is a virtue, but it's fruits are bitter/sweet. :)
Why is this story not more popular! Seriously this is rather good!
That's easy, people look at the Likes vs. Dislikes and the ratio is too close for most folks to give it a shot.
A most interesting story thus far.
I can't wait to see some conflict resolution,
especially if it involves Dan, and Razor Wit
Bur Dan and Razor don't have any conflicts . . . yet.
What do you mean 'me' I don't know you.