The morning sun greeted her like a furious torch. Golden beams of light glittered across innumerable cloudtops as Rainbow Dash glided towards the fiery horizon. She felt a cold gust of air rippling across her tail, and she knew the final throes of night were over.
Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. A pair of shaded goggles reflected a green world as she tilted her gaze earthward. Pulling her wings to her sides, Rainbow effortlessly dove down through the cloudcover until she was skimming a series of rolling emerald hilltops. Sporadic ponds and rippling blue streams interrupted what was otherwise an immaculate landscape of high grass and bushy knolls. Several lakes loomed in the distance ahead, sparkling platinum reflections of the rising sun.
Rainbow's nostrils flared. As she darted mere inches over pond fronds and cattails, she was greeted with every scent and flavor of spring. On a whim, she spun upside down—gliding—and allowed her wings to break the top of several emerald blades. As a result, she was christened with a liberal spray of fresh dew. The sensation was cold, tickling the skin beneath her blue coat.
It was the first thing that made her smile in hours.
There was a deep lake up ahead. The waters were so tranquil that the entire basin could just as well have been filled with pure sapphires. Feeling suddenly exhausted, Rainbow Dash lowered herself to the sandy banks, relaxing her wings for the first time since the prior sunset.
Her hooves twisted and dug into the dirt, relishing in their wet mushy feel against her tingling limbs. Trotting to the very edge of the lake, she raised her goggles, exposing a pair of squinting ruby eyes that took in the sunrise, and then tilted down to take in her own reflection.
Rainbow's mane was windblown, its many colored threads mixing wildly as a testament to her nocturnal journey. Her coat was unkempt, bespeckled with dust. In spite of her haggard features, the one thing not remotely affected was her eyes. They appeared as alive and awake as ever as she looked herself over, then reached two hooves up to her goggles.
Removing the article, she sat down and examined them closely in her grasp. There was a great deal of condensation and grime gathered on the lenses. Rainbow leaned forward and breathed hotly on the goggles. Using her condensation, she wiped the twin lenses free, then moved to slap them back on her crown. She paused, however, upon seeing the canvas strap of the item. There was an image of a prancing, caped foal, along with the initials 'S.L.'
Rainbow Dash smiled gently. She finally placed the article back on her head and gave her reflection one last look. Her blue wings lifted, exposing a dark blue saddlebag strapped around her body, tailor-made to fit her agile figure. The pouches on either side were snapped shut by the insignia of a crescent moon, and from the meager weight of what was lying within, Rainbow Dash knew that it was only a matter of time before she needed to find food again.
Just then, a familiar sensation struck her, that of a golden glint being shone into her face. Rainbow Dash grunted, then glanced lethargically at what was weighing on her neck muscles. A golden pendant hung just below her throat, emblazoned with a ruby shaped like a lightning bolt. For the briefest of moments, she felt a wave of dizziness, and considered tossing the object viciously into the waters. Instead, she sighed, gave her face one last look, and slammed her head full-force into the surface of the pond.
After a major dunking, Rainbow Dash flung her head straight up. She gasped as her wet mane filled the air with a wild splash of lake water. Reveling in the cold sting, she grinned devilishly, slipped her shaded goggles down, and took off once more towards the sky, burning a straight path for the rising sun.
The air bit harshly against her wet face. It served to remind her that she was alive.
Absolutely wonderful! I hope you don't mind, but as I go through this story, I'm going to leave a bit of my thoughts as to the current point in the story.
Right now, I'm rather confused as to the existance of that "Alternate Universe" tag, but I'm guess the reasoning for it will become clear as I continue reading this here wonderful story.
I've also noted that, at this point, the sentences are kind of choppy. Not enough to deter, but it gets annoying. I'm going to assume that you improve with each chapter.
Now, to continue delving into the mystery that is this story!
Hmmm? How had I not come upon this yet?
I fail as a stalker if this was able to slip past my radar for so very long. Hmm? Under 80k? I think I'll read this tomorrow night and see what all the hubbub is. The first chapter's interesting enough (and makes it quite clear that you are who you are) and I'll be interested to see what this is and figure out why you've got a second account for this story.
S.L? Scootaloo? Spitfire with an L last name? Hmmm...
Is she wearing the Element of Loyalty? I'm going to assume yes.
And, I haven't the foggiest idea of what's going on, but there're 106 chapters to go, so I trust things will be explained.
Also, I'm the sort of reader who tends to comment every chapter. I have my work cut out for me...
Sees Chapter number.
"....buck."
ONWARDS!
-Delta.
The mystery behind this is incredibly intriguing!
Beautifully written, it makes you feel as if you were there with her. :) Like and favorite, definitely.
So...I'd like to say that this is just a WILD guess but my hypothesis is that some major event happened back in Equestria, and either A) Some foreign country took control of Equestria B) Celestia and Luna had a falling out or C) Celestia and/or Luna went on a rampage of sorts, for indeterminable reasons. If any of these are true, then Rainbow Dash decided to fly away, taking the element of loyalty for safe keeping, and it's possible the other element bearers took their appropriate elements as well
130 chapters? this is gonna take a while...
Welp, no time like the present, late night to start reading one long fic!
Time to start my theory about this so far very intriguing, very mysterious tale.
First of all, the saddle bags had a crescent moon on them, so I want to say they were given to her by Luna as a symbol; but then again it could just be Rarity's doing, seeing as they were "tailor-made" to fit her. Then we come to the Alternate Universe tag, which just throws everything I have so far out the window because so far we have no idea what that means. It could be a small or insignificant change, or it could be some major plot switch up.
All in all, I really can't determine anything seeing as it's the first chapter.
I will say, however, that I adore your description and commitment to detail. Some one mentioned the sentences where choppy, they may be, but I'd see them more as a stylistic choice, one that I enjoy. So far, and so little, it's still so good.
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For that avatar you are absolutely the most obnoxious person I have ever seen.
I hate you. I hate you so much.
My hatred for people who think its funny to pick on other people's primeval fears aside....
I really like this.
I have no idea whats going on but I'm hooked.
9 unread (Eternal) chapters? Don't want to read them now; let's just pick something out of my read later list...
*picks Austraeoh, favorites it*
143 unread chapters? fu.
So many chapters its gonna take me ages to read them all
Hm, nice so far, a bit confused bu- WHAT THE BUCK THE CHAPTERNUMBERRRRRRRRRR
HOW YOU DO ITTHAT HUMONGOUS CHAPTERNUMBERRRRRR
will you teach me your ways o mighty magician
please
XD that was my reaction when I saw 140 chapters.
Hai guys! Just a note, I started my evaluation time after this chapter, soooo...yeah. I suppose I could still do one, if anyone wants me to, but it wouldn't be a first impression. So I'm just gonna leave this chapter evaluation-time-free.
-MASH
P.S.: If I get a note that someone wants an evaluation time for this chapter, I will write it.
A chapter a day... by the time you finish, and I finish, a year will have gone by.
Totally going to do this. Totally... Totally...
Maybe not.
I'm going to do this! A chapter a day,.
Here we go. I'm taking the idea of the guy above me and reading a chapter a day.denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7468-swagggg.jpg
*Sees story in feature box*
"Hmm... I've seen this story in the feature box before, I think I'll add it to read later.
*Sees amount of chapters*
Oh Buck.
Cheetos and hot fries? Check.
A 12 pack of monster? Check.
A comfy chair? Check.
Let the journey begin.
Wow! The chapters. This is gonna be a looooong year and a half
1346863 I'm stuck in bed at night with a cold, sore throat and a runny nose and you're sitting there eating cheetos and fries?!!! Where do you live?
200 chapters.
………Sunnava BITCH!
I must be insane for seriously attempting to read this monstrosity...
Here goes!
Lots of chapters but not as many words as one should expect with something this big.
:3 i rather like the idea of a monstrous number of chapters, so long as the chapters are small~
i dont mind extensive works, i just get bored when the chapters are super long, regrettably..
:3 i've seen this one mentioned before, though, and it looks like a good epic piece, so i will give it a try!!
Well, fuck.
Here I go, FIMfiction!
After reading 381 chapters of Rainbow's epic journey, I thought it'd be awesome to come back and re-read this... It. Was. Awesome.
wow good start to the story, you got me hooked so here i go
I don't even know what this story is about, but it seems pretty interesting.
One chapter in. Ok. You ramble without saying much of anything at all, just description and happenstance that may or may not be relevant in the future, but it's well done. It's a hook, I can tell it's just a hook, to get me to read more... But it's a damned effective little hook. Bravo thus far.
Still one of the best first chapters to any story I've read.
Figured I'd come over and take a look at this, finally. I don't know how much more I'm going to read—I tend to have a strong aversion to high-wordcount stories, since there's usually a lot of unnecessary chaff. And there are an awful lot of words in this, "Eljunbyro", and "Innavedr".
But I have to say, the first chapter here is probably the finest piece of descriptive prose I've read on this site. You stick largely to two senses, visual and tactile—I'm used to writers using visual and auditory as their default primary two—but you toss in a little olfactory and gustatory for good measure. And the visual and tactile themselves are just excellent. It's hard to see how they could be rendered better.
Now don't get me wrong, this could definitely do with some editing. There are some truly unnecessary adverbs and adjectives floating around, wiggle words mostly, that do nothing but weaken the prose and slow down the reader. There are one or two points of close word repetition that don't read well. Given the nature of the project, I do find that understandable, but it deserves to be noted.
Nonetheless, the strength of the descriptions alone are enough to probably bring me back for another look at a later date. You're doing some masterful work there, and it's an absolute joy to read.
Well, I'm finally going to read this. My better judgement actually told me not to read this at eleven at night, because the whole story was emanating nostalgia for me, and I don't know why, but I do know that nostalgia keeps me up at night with the longing for something in the past to return to me in the present, but I guess I'll suffer the consequences.
This chapter was a tad too short, and it was choppy in some places, but the detail was remarkable and created a clear picture in my mind with the scenery and the accessories Rainbow Dash was sporting at the moment, and if you can get me to do that in the middle of the night, then that's some talent right there.
You have me hooked, and, even though the remaining chapters are a bit of a fast read, I'm sure to enjoy every part!
(Also, I'm probably going to leave little "tid-bits" in every chapter to show my clear opinion of it.)
As I read this again to catch up with Innavedr, I can't help but feel all the nostalgia ruching back to me.
And seeing all the little hints about the story this early makes me stand in awe in front of SS&E's raw talent.
Just, beautiful.
I've heard all the hype about this story, and honestly, I wasn't impressed. The wall of prose was so big, I almost needed to call in an airstrike to take it down. In short, a boring read for me, and so much description, my mind was overloaded.
1238613
A year has gone by.
200 chapters... 200 CHAPTORS!!!!! 200 CHUPTAIRS TWO HOUNDRUD CHIPTARERERERERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. good job.
200 chapters! while they each seem relatively short, I'm sure this fic will keep me going for a long time. I like the way that you launch us straight away into the story, not knowing anything apart from Rainbow Dash is flying east. But why? I'll be sticking around to find out, you can count on that.
Rainbow Dash flies east
Skimming o'er meadows and lakes
A pendant she takes
I might reread this. I must have either a mental problem or deficiency. Oh well. I just feel nostalgic when I think about this story. Even though I didn't cry the first time, I will probably cry a lot this time. Again, oh well. Two chapters a day. I will pace myself.
Time to go on a mass reading galore.. As many chapters as possible. Gon do this shiet. Been with this babe since chapter... 50ish. Not giving up, gonna read all of it.
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Your mind got overloaded with the description because you don't know what real writing is. Welcome to real prose.
There is like four or three fucking sequels to his story and all of them are like 100 chapters!. I have been seeing the third sequel pop up on the homepage like every week, so I finally decided to try this monster, until I found out There. Are .Three. storys with over 100 chapters each! But nevertheless I will give it a try. :-) (hear we go) =
I'm just starting this series and from the looks of things, this is going to be good. One thing I do not like about these stories is that the chapters are short segments. It's like taking a Stephen King book(The books with chapters that have numbers to perform point of view transitioning or time skips instead of using a horizontal line) and making the segments of each chapter into its OWN branch. Overall, you've caught my interest.
The nostalgia...
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I agree with everything you said. This is going to be a b**ch to read on my phone. Which is sad because it looks really good and I read about 90% of what I read on Fim, on my phone.