• Member Since 17th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen May 25th, 2018

A cubed


currently suffering from the curse of improving just enough to hate what i just wrote, then starting over again

More Blog Posts20

  • 345 weeks
    I didn't die

    Hey so uh. This account is dead. If you like my stories then follow my new account, Nightcoremoon. I'm gonna rewrite them on there. The originals will still stay here for archive purposes unless the mods don't like that. Peace.

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    0 comments · 342 views
  • 525 weeks
    my absence

    i have...

    seasonal affective disorder
    possible manic depression
    social anxiety issues
    issues with coming out to my family
    my ever-present aspergers hindering my everyday life
    lack of focus leading to low grades leading to parents angry with me leading to spiraling deeper into depression leading to bigger lack of focus

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    2 comments · 543 views
  • 540 weeks
    ...

    I don't mean to alarm anybody or be an attention whore, but I've been going through some a cycle of serious self-worth and depression issues. I should be happy because my mom's getting married and I'm getting into my #1 college choice and I got an 1850 on the SATs and I'm applicable for a scholarship that will pay for everything and I know what major I'm going for and everything in my life is

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    2 comments · 556 views
  • 562 weeks
    I'm Not Dead; Progress; New Stuff

    I expected to have tons of time this summer to write tons of fanfic. I've never been more wrong in my life.
    Without school, I don't keep a schedule. I don't have regular sleep/food cycles, so I don't get any inspiration to write.

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    1 comments · 431 views
  • 574 weeks
    No computer until June

    So I'm grounded from my laptop because my sisters are slobs, and Mom is disappointed in all of us because of it. We have to 'prove' to her that we can maintain a cleanliness routine. Which for some reason means no Wi-Fi until then.

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    0 comments · 419 views
May
6th
2013

Sorry- Again. I'm really sorry for no updates, but, life. Anyways, A New Type of Harmony news! · 5:38am May 6th, 2013

So I'm still working on that Michelle Creber news article, reading Huckleberry Finn (and comforting my inner grammar nazi), doing huge packets and dissecting various animals, heavily practicing for a band concert and a theater performance, AND studying my flank off for a Precalculus/Triginometry test.
Because my school drifts along lazily the first three quarters, then cranks out ALL the homework to meet the curriculum standards.
On top of that, we just got Xbox Live and Netflix, so I'm FINALLY playing Team Fortress 2 after SIX YEARS of waiting for an opportunity (and was a huge disappointment, because I suck with the Source engine), and watching Angel Beats! with my sisters (who like anime almost as much as I do), and watching K-ON! to get ideas for A New Type of Harmony (because I just don't know how to start that one).
And don't expect anything within the next week because my english teacher assigned a 'research/opinion paper', which is a research paper that I have to write with a bias (I mean seriously, pardon my language, but WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?) about something. The topic I picked was the bombing of Hiroshima, so I have to research every aspect of Japan and America's relations concerning World War II. Oh yeah, and it's due this week. And the only class time we got to work on them were iPads (which were royally screwed up by middle schoolers, because out schools' tech supervisor is so incompetent that he still types WWW before URLs) and slow-as-molasses computers (running on Windows XP no less) on a SLOW AND WEAK AS F*CK Wi-fi network that, get this, is slower than my iPhone 3's 3G support, and- you'll get a kick out of this- runs on Kaspersky web security, with a firewall that blocks EVERY SINGLE TRUSTWORTHY WEBSITE that Wikipedia cites its sources from, and only works with Internet Explorer (32-bit safe mode!) because Firefox, Chrome, Safari, and Opera can't be downloaded because of the goddamn firewall. And I couldn't work on it at home because I had to practice band and theater, do all my homework from this quarter, babysit my three younger sisters (no computer when babysitting), and go to bed at a really early time, because I have insomnia AND trouble falling asleep, and have to wake up at 6:15 in the morning to be able to change clothes, eat breakfast, brush teeth, and walk ten minutes through the trailer park where I live in order to get to the bus stop, and I have to get there before 6:35 because my bus driver doesn't know the meaning of consistency (ranging from 6:30 to 7:00- and we are the first stop she goes to). And I can't drive, and my mom can't leave my sisters home alone, so I'll have to go to school an hour late so she can drive my sisters. Only problem is, I've missed my first hour class 30 times this year, and have to serve detention for every single time I miss from now on. Meaning no writing time because I'll be in detention AND be grounded. And when I try to get anything done, I have to do chores at home. And prom was this weekend, so I've been too depressed to do anything productive, because who else gets shot down 8 different times? And on top of that, I'm stressed because we're going to be moving this Summer, and I'll have to get my driver's license and move in with someone else if I want to stay at my school, and I want to stay at my school because I finally have close friends (Asperger's has really kicked my, er, flank, from Kindergarten to high school), and don't want to go to a huge school where 4 different ghettos congregate, where I'll have to make a new group of friends. As a senior. In a new school. So I also have to study a driving rulebook, and cheat my way through the legality of obtaining the license by swapping states and lying to the government.

And I'm writing this now because the insomnia, combined with the fact that I have completely neglected this website. It's now 1:15, and I'll have 5 hours of sleep, if I can actually fall asleep.

The only good thing about this is that, after modifying (read: exaggerating) my current condition by removing the good factors (my parents and I have a good relationship, I do pretty well in school, I know what I'm doing after high school, and I'm happy with my life), I have a pretty nice depressing backstory that I can use for a character in my planned Human-in-Equestria story with a twist: the Equestria in the fic is completely fictional. The character hallucinates everything, and realizes he's hallucinating, and completely destroys his mind from the inside and detaches himself from reality in order to make himself believe that the Equestria in his mind is real, so he can actually live a happy life instead of the crap-tastic world I shove him into.

I'm not complaining about 'how bad my life is', I'm just venting about how frustrating it is that I'm failing all of you people because of factors I can't control. I'm fine, you don't have to worry about me, so don't.

Only on the Surface people, it's my top priority, and I know what is going to happen next, I just need to find a way to start the chapter. And the LyraBon sex scenes will be there soon, I just need to put it in writing.
Tales of Sympony-a people, it's on a bit of a hold. Sorry, but I don't have the time at the moment.
Disruption people, I've got a draft ready, but it's not ready for publishing. I still have to revise and rewrite it so I'm happy with it.
Exit Light Enter Night people, well, I changed things about the overall plot and am rewriting the first chapters.
Broken in the Storm people, I have the plot of the first story and the sequel ready; I just need to put into words.
Give Back my Baby people, I have more of an idea as to why the Doctor is gone (I've watched a couple episodes now); I just need to finalize it.
Cupcakes v Muffins people... y u no comment is all I have to say.
A New Type of Harmony people, I have the plot synopsis in chronological order, but it's going to be a flashback-heavy storyline. I just need to get it in order before I touch up the writing itself. Oh, one more thing- Fluttershy says don't say 'lazy'. Obscure cultural references for the sake of plot advancement, yay!

Ugh. I'm so tired right now. I hate school. I wish it would die. Wish me luck on my Precalc test tomorrow.

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