... · 1:39am Jan 8th, 2014
I don't mean to alarm anybody or be an attention whore, but I've been going through some a cycle of serious self-worth and depression issues. I should be happy because my mom's getting married and I'm getting into my #1 college choice and I got an 1850 on the SATs and I'm applicable for a scholarship that will pay for everything and I know what major I'm going for and everything in my life is going smoothly, but I'm still dissatisfied with certain aspects of it, which makes me feel like a whiny little kid because I should be happy but I'm not. I'm showing multiple signs of depression and low self esteem; insomnia and hypersomnia, overeating and skipping meals, perfectionism, loss of interest and enjoyment in activities [ie fanfic], harsh reaction to criticism, dwelling excessively on past mistakes, body image issues, thoughts of suicide [I won't do it, I just am aware of all the ways I can], et cetera. I'd like to say that it's no excuse for not updating in half a year, but when I think logically, then I think it's a feasible reason...
Oh yeah, and I'm just not satisfied with any of the work I've done in the past 6 months so I scrapped all of it last month because I read through it and it sucked so I'm redoing it all. I don't want to deliver a crappy product.
Well, dunno if this will help you and if you've heard it before or not, but just "step back" and look over your problems from a more logical or fully thought out point of view. It's helped me with some things that I've gone through and still going through, some of which you've stated already.
Anywho, just find a way to release the stress through your fanfiction, try making a "silly" story kind of thing that has satirical comedy in it or something, or just play really violent video games, that last one helps me but idk if it will help you.
Anyway, I hope you do well with that college situation and other stuff, it takes a lot of time and planning to make sure things move like a calm flowing river, though I'm sure you've already been doing the stuff I've said and then some. And if your depression worsens or causes problems I'd suggest asking your doctor or counseling, talking to your family, whatever you have to do to safely over-come it, I've gone through depression, though minor, really affected how I felt about life in general until I got over it, though you never truly get over it, just keep swimming through the river of life and you'll be fine.
Thanks for reading and I I have been waiting patiently for you to do stuff and I am still fine with waiting however long it takes you to do some other stuff and get your fanfiction rolling, but don't pay too much attention to it since fictional stories don't take priority in most people's "to do lists".
1695063 Thanks. I have somewhat of a handle on it; I'm not suicidal or self-harming or listening to Good Charlotte. Video games do offer some temporary respite, and I do have an idea for a humor fic, but games are temporary and I'd stress about being perfect about the fic (I plan for it to be about Berry Punch and Trixie forming a rehab group for ponies who have been victims of the fandom making them addicted to things, like wine and peanut butter crackers, and the group will be the Food Addiction Recovery Team, which would be glossed over by everyone until the end when Pinkie Pie points out what the acronym would be, sort of like the Hugh Jackman part of Movie 43). But I'm hoping and helping the issues get resolved.
And thank you for the good luck. But some of the issues center around not wanting my family to sink so much money into me, because I've had counseling before, and it didn't really work and/or was unnecessary.
Right, I know that it's not a priority for some people, but waiting forever for the next installment is... well, let's just say that I watch Sherlock.