When Big Mac was a young colt, just barely out of diapers, he dreamed of being a professional candy taster. Everyday, he would try brand new concoctions and give his completely professional unbiased opinion based on a scale of ‘Mac-ilicious’; A personal measure of how good he thought the candy was based on his superior taste buds.
After a visit from cousin Candy Apple, however, he saw the exact results of what excessive amounts of candy looked like, and Big Mac decided that if he was going to live up to his name it wasn’t going to be like that.
After he discarded the idea of becoming a candy taster, Mac needed a new dream. He decided on being a space cowpony. He would fly to the moon on a cow — Just like in Granny’s bedtime story — and wrangle Nightmare Moon so he could return all the candy she stole to the foals.
He would keep none for himself though, since it was honourable to return all the stolen goods and he needed to be light enough to ride a cow to go to space, which massive amounts of candy wouldn’t help.
As he started school and outgrew his juvenile fantasy, he turned towards the dream of becoming a guard.
Protecting the Princess! Fighting Monsters! Being a Hero! Noble pursuits that he could brag about to that mean mare Spoiled Milk to get her to stop teasing him.
And impress some cute mare that he could confess to.
By the time he graduated school, Big Mac’s opinion of the guard had soured. He was a fighter, but not a killer. He couldn’t imagine taking a life and knew that he wouldn’t make it in the military.
He then decided he wanted to be a banker. Mentally stimulating, practical, and lucrative. Secure, honest work.
And it wasn’t farm work.
Because that was nothing but a waste of his potential.
Big Mac sat on a hill just past the main farmstead where the funeral was being held. The midday sun bathed his straw-blonde mane and apple red coat in warm hues.
Stretching out before him, seemingly endless, was the Sweet Apple Acre orchard. Tall, strong apple trees arranged in tidy rows that bore bushels of crop to be harvested. Bushels that would be harvested by his extended family after the funeral and before they left for their own homes across Equestria.
His parents were dead.
His green eyes turned downwards to the tiny, light yellow foal cradled in his forelegs. Her red mane was tidy and she slept soundly with an open, drooling mouth.
He was massive — a fact, not an ego trip — but with his baby sister Apple Bloom sleeping next to his thick foreleg, he felt bigger than ever before.
His thoughts couldn’t make him feel any smaller.
His parents were dead.
He looked towards the Everfree Forest. He had always thought it was the most dangerous place in Equestria, but he was wrong. A small road from Ponyville to Trottingham that was approximately half a day of travel one way was much more dangerous.
It was scenic, generally quiet and infested with bandits. Ponies, Diamond Dogs, smaller Dragons, and the like. The group that took his parents and grandmother from him had been a diverse mix of desperate and mean.
From what the Ponyville guard had told him, they were also soon to be dead. A statement that solidified his choice to not become a guard.
His parents were dead.
And he wished he could stop thinking about it so much.
“You’re missed at the funeral, Cuz.”
Big Mac glanced over his shoulder towards the source of the voice. A butter yellow stallion with a dirty blonde mane dressed in a cowpony hat with matching vest trotted towards him.
Big Mac returned to staring out across the horizon. “Go back, Brae. I ain’t worth botherin’ right now.”
Braeburn Apple sat his rump down beside him. He gazed out over the acres with quiet contemplation on his face.
“Big fields,” Braeburn said.
“Eeyup,” Mac replied.
“Real big,” Braeburn continued.
“Sure is,” Mac agreed.
“It’s a lot for one pony to handle by themselves.”
Mac grunted.
They sat in silence.
Braeburn threw his hat onto the ground with a snort of frustration. “Dangit, Mac. Why?”
“Gettin’ kinda sick of all y’all asking me ‘bout a decision I already made,” Mac said.
Braeburn glared at Mac. “Because it’s a dumb decision, Mackie. I couldn’t even believe it when you told Red Gala that you would keep the farm. No one stallion can take care of these here acres, ya big galoot.” He pointed to Apple Bloom with a hoof. “Not while raising lil’ Bloom.” He shoved his hat back on his head. “Not while AJ is runnin’ off to Manehatten.”
Mac looked down at his baby sister. She was still blissfully asleep. When he had heard the news of his parents’ and grandmother’s death - he had been waiting for this interview at the bank - she had been the first pony he needed to see.
When the relatives had started pouring in, they had offered to take over the farm and the Oranges to take care of the Apple siblings, but Mac knew the farm would get sold off with no one available to care for it and the big city felt as unappealing to him as moldy pie.
It wasn’t their fault. They were worried about him taking on too much responsibility and were trying to ease his burden, but he needed to keep the farm. For him and Apple Bloom.
Just them.
Applejack had taken the Orange’s offer and was leaving later that week. He didn’t blame her for it, but he couldn’t help feeling hurt that she abandoned him and Bloom.
“I’ll manage,” Mac replied. “We’ve always made do. A few buried relatives won’t change that.”
Braeburn shook his head. “You’re being stupidly stubborn. You’re going to work yourself into the ground caring for the acres.”
“My choice, Brae.” Mac nuzzled his baby sister who gently grasped his muzzle in her tiny hooves as she continued to sleep. He smiled. “I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions.”
“Adults can still make dumb decisions. Stupidity ain’t tied to your age,” Braeburn spat out. “Yer birthday was less than a month ago. Ya just graduated from school. Celestia’s sake, you were just at your first job interview three days ago!” Braeburn growled then heaved a weary sigh. “I don’t getcha, Mac. We’re trying to help you. Why are you doin’ this? Why tie yourself to this farm?”
Mac looked out over the rows of trees, but instead of trees he saw his family. A family stretching back several generations to the founding of Ponyville. The Apples of Sweet Apple Acres stood by each other thick and thin through every tragedy no matter how great.
This was home, his home. Even if only one tiny Apple was here with him, he would keep his home alive. This palace of trees would remain as the bastion of the Apple family so long as he was able.
So decreed the current Patriarch of the Apple family.
“I just have too. I don’t need ya to get it, I just need ya to support it.”
Braeburn shook his head. “You're a damn foalish pony, Mackie.”
“Eeyup.”
Braeburn snorted. “Least you recognize it. Fine, Mac. You have my support. Probably the only relative here willing to give it to ya.” He got up to his hooves. “I’ll start chippin’ away at the others to convince’em to stop botherin’ ya. They can’t do nuthin’ but talk since you’re the oldest and of age.”
“Thanks, Brae.”
Braeburn grunted and trotted aways back to the farmstead before stopping. “Are you sure?”
“I’m as sure as the sun rises,” Mac replied.
“Just checkin’, Cuz. Just know that if you ever need it, I’m here for you.” With those final words, Braeburn left.
Big Macintosh Apple looked over his dominion once more. A castle of two. He was its keeper and, when Bloom was older, so would she.
He looked once more to his baby sister. He was a big brother, but in a way, he was now a father. This small fragile bundle was all that was left to him of his family, and he would do anything to protect her.
It had been several weeks since the funeral. His relatives had left after a massive harvest and several check-ins to make sure Mac was fully decided on his course of action. With some assistance from Braeburn, he had managed to get everypony to drop the issue and trust that Mac knew what he was doing.
Because he did.
The last of his relatives to leave had been the Oranges with Applejack. She had said nary a word since she had decided to leave and Mac wasn’t inclined to start that conversation. He’d had enough goodbyes to last him the rest of his life, he didn’t need another one.
The day she left, he had watched her leave from the kitchen window, hoping that she would have a change of heart, but she hadn’t even looked back once.
He was bitter about her leaving, but they would be okay without her.
Life continued on after that. Everyday, he woke up and got to work. Everyday, he went to bed exhausted and aching. Back breaking mundanity from sunup to sundown.
He harvested the trees, tilled the soil, and sold products at the market. A never ending cycle.
Apple Bloom stayed close by as she had taken to galloping all around the field while he worked. She was always babbling some nonsense to him that never ceased to bring a smile to his face.
Big Mac had also foregone the wooden yoke he normally bore instead for a frilly orange apple-patterned bandana around his neck. He got some strange looks for the fashion statement, but it was a memento from Granny and he would be damned if he allowed others to muddle his devotion to his family.
It also helped that nopony wanted to anger the biggest stallion in Ponyville.
He would have worn his Pa’s hat as well, but AJ had taken off with it.
It ultimately didn’t matter. The fields still needed tending and a hat wasn’t going to help none.
That day, however, he had different priorities: a meeting with Filthy Rich — or ‘Rich’ as he preferred to be called.
It was time for the annual renegotiation of the contract between the Apple family and Barnyard Bargains.
Big Mac sat opposite Rich in his office located on the top floor of Barnyard Bargains. A large oaken desk sat between them covered in various papers.
Neither stallion had said a word to each other since Big Mac had arrived with Apple Bloom in tow. Said filly was playing with some toys just outside the office door, which Rich had kindly provided with a knowing smile.
Rich regarded Mac sternly with half lidded light blue eyes. His black mane was swept back, his light dusty brown coat was groomed to an immaculate finish and a neatly tied red bow tie adorned his neck.
Mac couldn’t help but also notice the heavy bags under his eyes.
“So, Mac,” Rich started. “How much do you know about the contract my family has with yours?”
“It’s a sales agreement for bulk sellin’ of zap apple jam. It’s the only product we don’t sell ourselves. Everything else we sell directly at the market,” Mac replied.
Rich nodded. “That’s the gist of the contract, yes. We’ve had it in place since my grandfather’s time.” He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Alright, before we continue this discussion, you and I are going to have a talk.”
Mac glared at Rich already knowing where the conversation was heading. “I can run the farm by myself.”
“The farm isn’t what I’m worried about. It’s everything else.” Rich splayed his forehooves on the desk and looked Mac dead in the eye. “Tell me, Mac. What is the full list of your responsibilities?”
Mac returned Rich’s intense look with one of his own. “I harvest and maintain the fields, process apples into cider and jam, and sell them in the market.”
“And you need to renew your market license,” Rich added. “Not to mention negotiating ongoing contract work with Canterlot and Trottingham. Organizing any catering gigs that the Acres host which are frequent enough to be a problem. Plus the most important thing that you can never ignore.” Rich pointed his hoof towards the office door. “Raising your baby sister.”
Mac snorted angrily. “I can-”
“Overwork yourself into an early grave leaving everything worse off than before?” Rich snorted. “Yeah, you’re doing a pretty good job of that already. How much sleep have you been getting?”
Mac kept his mouth shut.
“That answers my question well enough.” Rich shook his head. “You can't do this to yourself, Mac.”
“I can handle it. I’ve been doing fine since the funeral.”
“For now, but exhaustion tends to catch up over time. It's a losing game.” Rich gave Mac a hard glare. “What are you going to do if you collapse in a field?”
“I won’t,” Mac retorted.
“That’s not an answer.”
“I don’t need to answer because I won’t.”
“Fine, not a real answer, but I’ll table it for now. How will you handle all the administrative work for the Acres? I know your parents and Granny handled everything before, and I doubt they taught you much since you were going to become a banker.”
“They didn’t, but I’ll figure it out,” Mac grumbled.
“Figure it out how?”
“I don’t know!” Mac got up onto his hooves. “I’ll just figure it out. I have to.”
“That’s not good enough!” Rich slammed a forehoof onto the table. “You have a young foal to care for now. You can't make mistakes that put her at risk.”
“I know that! I’m tryin’, Rich,” Mac said desperately.
“And I get that. I do. But you’re making promises you can’t keep.” Rich took a deep breath. “Which is why I’m going to give you a way out.”
Mac flinched. “I’m not sellin’ the-”
“Not what I’m asking you to do,” Rich interrupted. “You’re going to agree to a contract.” Rich took a thick sheaf of papers out from a drawer in his desk and dropped it onto the table with a hearty slap. “After-” Rich gave Mac an intense look. “You read over everything.”
Mac read over the contract carefully. He paused several times over the course of his reading to reread certain passages, but kept a neutral expression on his face through the entirety of the proceedings. After finishing, he placed the contract back on the desk and took a deep breath.
He heaved himself onto the table with both forehooves planted and stared down Rich with a furious glare.
“You’re takin’ everything,” Mac declared.
“Temporarily. And not all of it,” Rich answered back. “You still handle the actual farm.”
“You’ll be sellin’ the cider, the apples, the jams, everything. There won’t be nothin’ left for us.”
“That's a misconstruing of the point and you know it.” Rich glared. “All the profits still go to you, just under different handlers.”
“Non-Apple family handlers,” Mac growled.
“Perfectly good handlers,” Rich spat back. “Until Apple Bloom is older and you can more fairly split the load. Give yourself time to learn how to handle everything properly instead of figuring it out as you go along.”
“I don’t understand. You’re not gettin’ anything out of this. I’d reckon you would actually lose more than you would gain and the whole deal states that everything reverts back to me after a time if you don’t preemptively break the contract yourself.” Mac narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
Rich was quiet for a moment before releasing a heavy sigh. “I lost my family too, Mac. My father and mother were killed by timberwolves when I was young.”
“I’m sorry, Rich,” Mac said quietly.
“So was I.” Rich said bitterly. “But it wasn’t all bad. Some friendly farmers handled the business I inherited. Said it was just the right thing to do. When I was ready, they gave it back to me and simply asked that I maintain their existing contract, which I’ve done every year since.” Rich looked to Mac with a morose expression. “Do you want to guess who those ponies were?”
Mac took his hooves off the table and slumped onto his rump. “I didn’t know about that.”
“Not many do since none of your kin liked to take credit for anything.” Rich took a deep breath. “Regardless, I’m not taking advantage of you. I’m just paying back some interest on a debt I can never repay by giving you something important: time to grow up.”
Mac looked back at the contract. He frowned again. “I still don’t know about this Rich. It goes against what my family believes in.”
Rich leaned forward and gave Mac a sympathetic look. “Your family believed in helping others and I like to think I do, too.” He leaned back with a weary sigh. “That being said, if you don’t want to sign it, I’ll have you sign off on the usual contract and you can leave.”
Mac’s head shot up. “You’re not going to make me?”
“No.” Rich shook his head. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to and I don’t want to. I can offer help, but it’s your choice to take it.”
Mac stared back down at the contract. A piece of paper that could make his life easier. Give him time to learn his new role and grow into the proper stallion he’s supposed to be.
But it was a stab against his pride to take help. A handout. It meant he wasn’t ready. That he couldn’t handle it.
That made him a liar.
He glanced over his shoulder to the office door. He thought of his sister playing beyond.
What was pride in the face of family? His integrity was attached to supporting them, not his ego.
Big Mac stopped as he let the plow harness attached to his shoulders go slack. He turned to the source of the voice as he wiped sweat off his brow with a hoof.
A dark grey pegasus stallion with a silver and white striped mohawk hovered in the air near him.
“Hey, Thunderlane. Whatcha need?” Mac asked. “Thought the weather was supposed to be clear today?”
“It is, but the weather isn’t what I’m here for.” Thunderlane landed lightly on the ground whilst furrowing his wings at his side. “I came to see you.” He flashed a grin.
Mac stared at Thunderlane blankly. “Why?”
Thunderlane’s smile faltered. “What do you mean? Can’t I visit an old friend?”
“You can, I just-” Mac shook his head and undid the buckle attaching him to the harness with his mouth. It dropped to the ground with a thump. “Yeah, sure, but make it quick. I have fields to plow and that one to feed.” He jerked his head to a spot behind Thunderlane.
Thunderlane turned to look behind him. Apple Bloom was splashing one hoof in a mud puddle and chomping on a discarded apple with the other.
Thunderlane smirked. “She looks like she’s feeding herself just fine.”
Mac grunted. “She needs a proper meal that isn’t a single apple and whatever flecks of mud end up in ‘er mouth.” He frowned. “And a bath, but mud never hurt nopony before.”
“I don’t know about that, Mac. That mud ball to the side of your head in third grade looked like it had hurt.”
“It only hurt because Caramel is a dirty cheater and throws nothin’ but cheap shots.” Mac smirked. “Don’t know why you’re commenting on the hits I took considering that one zinger to the back of your head from Cherilee. Best shot in the game.”
Thunderlane groaned. “Threw me off so bad I dropped out of the air and fell face first into the deepest mud puddle on the playground. You had to pull me out while I whined about the dirt in my wings.” He glared at Mac. “I also remember you laughing your head off while you did it.”
“Couldn’t help it, Thunder.” Mac failed to hold back a grin. “You always were a bit obsessed when it comes to cleanliness after that presentation Ms. Spelling Bee gave on mold. Do you still clean every grape on the stalk before you eat’em?”
“No.” Thunderlane said indignantly. Mac’s grin grew bigger. Thunderlane rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. Yeah, I still clean each grape, but it’s just a habit now. I handle dirt just fine.” He stomped his hooves on the dirt field causing dust clouds to coat his legs. “See?”
“Uh huh. Still don’t make you any less weird, Thunder.”
Thunderlane snorted. “I don’t want to hear you call me weird, Mac. Who was it that brought a stuffed sheep dog with him to school everyday for five years because he got nervous around strangers?”
“Thunder!” Mac’s face flushed a darker red than his coat. “You promised me that you would never mention that again.”
“I did promise that back in fifth grade and will keep that promise — even if it was under coercion.”
Mac glared. “Not true.”
“You put me in a headlock, Mac. That’s called coercion.” Thunderlane grinned. “However, I didn’t promise not to talk about how you brought lil’ Taffy in your saddlebags to every exam right up until graduation because you got anxious without your cuddle buddy for reassurance. Right, Lil’ Mackie?”
Mac snorted angrily and charged after Thunderlane with his face tinged redder than an overripe apple. Thunderlane leapt with a flap of his wings into a hover just off the ground, laughing all the while.
He led Mac on a merry chase around the field while making passing remarks on how adorable Mac was. Mac just continued his relentless charge at the offending bird on his property while quietly fuming.
Apple Bloom, thoroughly enjoying the manic chase, clapped her hooves together enthusiastically as she called out “get’em!” to Mac.
Big Mac put on a final burst of speed and managed to tackle Thunderlane in mid air, who gave out a surprised yelp. They rolled along the ground before stopping a short ways away with Big Mac on top of Thunderlane, muzzles only several inches apart.
Thunderlane chuckled in a deep brassy tone as he gave insincere apologies to Mac. Mac was struck silent as he felt a wave of emotion flood through him when he looked down on Thunderlane pinned just below him.
He couldn’t place the emotion, but it made him want to remove the distance between them.
Thunderlane managed to get his giggle fit under control. He looked back at Mac with amber coloured eyes and a warm smile. “You got a look in your eye, Mac. What are you thinking?”
Mac felt his heart hammer in his chest and his flood of emotions swell bigger than before. Bigger than him. A loud, raging storm in the core of his being.
He liked how it felt, these feelings he couldn’t quite place.
Then Apple Bloom giggled.
And family, home, and legacy crashed in to remind him of what he was supposed to be feeling.
Abruptly Big Mac stood up and trotted back towards the plow. Thunderlane got up after him with a confused expression on his face.
“Wait, what-” Thunderlane started before shaking his head. “Okay, uh, do you still want to have that talk? We could-”
“Can’t,” Mac interrupted as he hooked himself back up to the plow. “I need these fields plowed before lunch.” He braced himself, pulled the harness buckles tight, and turned his head to look back at Thunderlane. “Good to see ya, Thunderlane, but I got work to do.”
Big Mac pulled the plow pointedly facing forward and ignored the hurt look on Thunderlane’s face. A short few gallops away, he heard the pounding of hooves as Thunderlane caught up to him and trotted by his side with a determined look on his face.
“What if I help you out?”
Big Mac paused mid pull and let the plow slow to a stop. “Why?”
“If I help you with the work, you finish sooner, which means you’ll have time to talk to me over lunch.”
“Don’t you have weather work?” Mac asked.
Thunderlane rolled his eyes. “Weather work is sporadic. So long as I’m present for the rain cloud making tonight, I have the rest of the day off.”
Big Mac thought over the proposal. “Fine. Second plow is in the barn. Grab it, start on the opposite side of the field and if you manage to last until lunch, we’ll talk.”
Before Thunderlane could give vocal confirmation, Big Mac had already restarted his trek, pulling the plow and leaving straight grooves behind.
As Mac continued to till the soil, he watched as Thunderlane struggled with the second plow. He face-planted several times attempting to push the thing out of the barn, got tangled up in the harness trying to don it, and trotted in place as he failed to pull the plow after him.
Big Mac gave a shake of his head. “Don’t worry about it, Thunderlane. If you can’t do it, I can-”
“Shut up, Mac!” Thunderlane yelled back. “I am pulling this stupid heap of scrap metal if its the last thing I do.” He growled. “No mere object shall beat Thunderlane!”
Thunderlane continued to exert himself against the plow. A vein popped out along his neck as he gritted his teeth and snorted from exertion.
Mac was about to interject again when, miraculously, the plow moved.
Mac slowed to a stop as he raised both eyebrows in surprise. Thunderlane was moving forward.
With the plow.
He wasn’t as fast as Mac, nopony was, and he’d seen his baby sister draw straighter lines, but he was getting it done. Slow and steady.
Mac smiled and continued his trek.
With Thunderlane’s assistance, they finished a half hour before lunchtime.
Thunderlane had collapsed into a dining room chair with his head resting on the table as soon as they stepped through the door. Mac set about making a hearty lunch of vegetable stew as Thunderlane lightly complained about how dirty his hooves were. Apple Bloom had been placed into a booster seat and giggled happily as she clapped her hooves for ‘birdy’.
Thunderlane smiled at the new nickname.
In time, Mac set the table with several massive portions of food and talked with Thunderlane. Memories were revisited, current events were discussed, and promises for future visits were made.
As they talked, Mac felt the weight of his responsibility lift to be replaced by a gentle warmth he hadn’t felt in a long while.
He couldn’t remember if he had ever smiled as much as he did then.
“So, Blossomforth threw a glass of wine down my dress shirt and called me a dumpster fire in the making.” Thunderlane said with a snicker.
Big Mac shook his head. “Ya got terrible luck with mares, Thunder.”
Both stallions sat in the living room of the Sweet Apple Acres farmstead. The large space made small by several massive worn out couches and shelves burdened with various family trinkets.
While the two talked during their break from harvesting the trees earlier that day, Apple Bloom played with wooden blocks in a corner by attempting to build… something. Mac honestly couldn’t tell, except that there was a concerning number of blocks being put towards what appeared to be a catapult.
“And stallions.” Thunderlane laughed. “Remember my date with Time Turner?”
Mac rolled his eyes. “One of the few times I was in town and you made a complete spectacle of yourself. Didn’t help that you wouldn’t stop talking to me and asking what I was doing. I didn’t even know Time Turner could kick that hard.”
“He sure can, as somepony who’s been on the receiving end.” Thunderlane shrugged. “Some ponies just aren’t into the blunt approach to dating.”
Mac gave him a blank stare. “Thunder, there’s blunt and then there’s whatever you do.”
“Aw, come on, Mac.” Thunderlane waved a wing. “I-”
The front door slammed open as a pony charged into the room. “I’m home!”
Thunderlane launched himself from his seat and flew into a corner of the room with a scream. Big Mac calmly turned towards the interruption and widened his eyes in surprise.
Standing in the doorway with a proud smile on her freckled face was an orange mare wearing a stetson overtop a long blonde ponytail and a Cutie Mark of two red apples on her flanks.
“Howdy, Big Mac,” She greeted. “How’s the farm been?”
“Fine,” He managed to say evenly despite his surprise.
He pointedly kept the without you to himself.
“Good to hear.” Applejack looked around the room and happened upon Apple Bloom. She trotted to her baby sister and picked her up in her forelegs. “Heya, Bloom. Lookin’ chipper as ever.”
Bloom happily clapped her hooves together while shouting ‘AJ’. Applejack leaned in close for a hug then pulled back as she got a whiff of something foul.
“Oowee, somepony needs a bath. Why does she smell so bad, Mac?”
Mac grinded his teeth. “We were out harvesting the orchard. Bloom was playin’ in the dirt. I’ll wash her later, after-”
“Well, you should do that now, Mac. You can’t not give her a bath when she’s dirty.” Applejack interrupted as she placed Apple Bloom gently back on the floor.
Big Mac snorted.
At this time, Thunderlane had managed to peel himself off the back wall and trotted towards both siblings with a concerned look on his face.
“Thunderlane. I’m a friend of your brother’s. We-”
“Oh, okay.” She sat her rump down in front of Big Mac. “Anyways, Big Mac, you won’t believe what happened to me.” She looked up at him with a joyful expression.
Mac struggled to keep his anger in check. Applejack’s careless remarks were riling him up and he found it difficult to keep himself under control. He took a deep breath to calm himself. No point ripping into her right after she arrived.
“What happened?” He asked.
“Well, I was looking out the window thinking about stuff and this big rainbow went BOOM across the sky.” She threw her hooves up in the air and leaned back while making the proper sound effect. “I decided to follow it and it led me right back to the farm! Then my Cutie Mark appeared and I finally knew what the most important thing to me was.” She nodded.
“And what’s the most important thing to you?” Big Mac asked.
She gave Mac a manic grin. “Leavin’ Manehattan and staying here on the farm with you and Bloom!”
Big Mac stared back at Applejack with an unreadable expression on his face.
“Aren’t ya happy, Mac?” Applejack asked nervously.
Big Mac stayed silent.
Thunderlane stretched a tentative wing towards Mac. “You okay there, Mac?”
“You left Manehattan? By hoof?” Big Mac said. “Does Aunt and Uncle Orange know about this?”
Applejack gulped. “No, it just sorta happened. Spur of the moment.”
Mac sighed. “I’ll have to send them a letter with an explanation this afternoon then. They’re probably worried sick.”
“S-sorry,” Applejack said.
“Too late now.” Mac massaged his forehead with a hoof. “Why did you come back here?”
“I told you. Because you and Bloom are my family.”
Then why did you leave in the first place?
Mac buried that thought. It would do no good saying that now.
“You realize that you won’t get a second chance, right?” Mac said instead.
“What do you mean?” Applejack questioned.
“Mac, maybe you should-” Thunderlane tried to interject.
“The Oranges are the only ones willing to give you a chance, Applejack,” Mac said. “If you decide you don’t like it here, you won’t be able to leave again.”
Applejack glared. “Well, that’s fine because I’m never going to leave.”
“You’re twelve,” Mac retorted. “You can’t know you won’t change your mind later.”
“I’m plenty old enough to make up my mind.” Applejack stomped the floor with a hoof. “You took over the farm and you ain’t even twenty yet.”
“I’m still an adult, Applejack. I-”
“So?” Applejack interrupted. “That just means you’re a little older than me. Why can’t I make that choice too?”
Big Mac clamped his mouth shut. A thousand thoughts demanded to be told and he knew that too many of them would cross a line he wasn’t willing to cross. Regardless of his opinion, he couldn’t turn her away.
A large part of him didn’t even want to try.
“Fine. Your room is exactly how you left it. Up the stairs, second door on the left. Grab your saddlebags and meet me at the east orchard.” Mac adjusted the kerchief around his neck and got up off the couch. “We got harvestin’ to do this afternoon.”
“Work already?” Applejack whined. “I thought with me coming back, we could take the day to celebrate. Together?”
“Farm don’t care what day you’re back. Work still needs to get done. If you’re gonna stay, you’re gonna work.” Mac trotted the short distance to the door and opened it. “Come on, Bloom.”
Apple Bloom scrambled to her hooves and raced out the door with a happy giggle.
Applejack stared at Mac with an expression bordering on hurt and betrayal.
“Git a move on, AJ. We have work to do.”
“You’re really- ugh!” Applejack growled and stomped up the stairs.
Thunderlane trotted gently to Mac with his head hung low. “Mac, do you need to talk?”
“Later, Thunder.” Mac gave Thunderlane a warm smile. “I appreciated your company and help this morning, though. Always enjoy your visits.”
Thunderlane smiled back. “Glad to hear it. Catch up another time?”
“Eeyup. Still need to hear about that time with Caramel. Bet that was a real disaster.”
Thunderlane snorted. “You don’t know the half of it, but yeah another time.” He trotted out the front door. “Talk to you later, Mac!” He called back.
Thunderlane launched himself into the air with a hard flap of his wings. After a quick circle around the farmstead, he flew off towards Ponyville proper.
Presumably to unsuccessfully date somepony with a mean back kick. Again.
Mac left the house, shutting the door behind him, and followed the trail of small hoofprints Apple Bloom left behind. He arrived at the biggest tree in the east orchard where Bloom was spinning in circles. She dropped onto her rump, dizzy, before looking up at him with a wide smile.
He smiled in return before trotting up next to the tree. The baskets had been placed earlier to collect the apples ready for harvest and all that was left to do was a deft kick to the trunk.
Before he could rear back, he noticed Applejack trotting towards him with a scowl on her face.
She stopped within speaking range, and kicked the dirt. “So, what needs doin’?”
Mac tried to think of an apology or some string of words to make things better between them, but came up with nothing. Everything still felt tinged with bitterness.
“Start at the end of the treeline and work your way back to me. Once we meet back up, we’ll be done for the day.”
She nodded and trudged past him with a slow, but steady gait. After a few steps she stopped.
“Love you, Mac,” She said quietly.
“Love you too, AJ,” Mac replied immediately.
Applejack snapped her head back to look at him in surprise. He looked back at her. She appeared to want to say something, but instead bit her lip and galloped away.
Her surprise hurt, but Mac found it hard to feel guilty.
She had started this by running away after all.
Mac reared back his legs and kicked the tree. The crop of apples fell and landed perfectly in the placed baskets.
He dropped to his rump and hung his head with a weary sigh.
“Welcome home, AJ,” He whispered.
He felt something clasp his leg. He looked down to see Bloom wrapped around it. She giggled.
“I can’t believe you sold out to Filthy!” Applejack yelled.
“Rich,” Big Mac corrected.
“Yeah, that's what he is and why you can’t trust him!”
Both Applejack and Big Mac stood just outside the farmstead near a massive wood cart with several baskets of apples surrounding them. They were sorting out the product to be put to market later that day.
Applejack had asked the question of when they were going to market, and Big Mac answered.
She had not liked that answer.
That had also been several baskets ago.
Mac rubbed his forehead with a hoof. “No, AJ. I mean that he prefers to be called Rich, his second name. Also, you’d do well not to insult him with how much he’s been helping us.”
“Helping us? He’s just trying to take over our business!”
“No, he’s not. As per the contract, he will return any non-farming duties to us once I’m ready to take them back. With you here-”
“He won’t though!” Applejack stomped a hoof into the dirt. “He’s a low down snake and he’s just going to keep everythin’ for himself.”
“We both signed a legally binding document. He couldn’t do that even if he wanted to. ‘Sides that, we’ve been getting regular payments equal to our normal profits for months.”
He failed to mention the foalcare items that had been sent along personally by Rich with the payments. Mac had long since discarded his pride when it came to receiving help, but he didn’t need his little sister to latch onto more ammunition to hold against him.
She’d probably end up accusing him of embezzlement once she looked up the word in the dictionary.
“But he forced you to sign it!”
“He offered it, and was clear on the conditions,” Mac countered.
“That don’t mean he didn’t make you sign under… under...” Applejack scrambled for the correct word. “Coercion!”
Mac snorted. “I didn’t sign under coercion and I don’t appreciate that you are insulting somepony who has been nothing but kind to us.” He punctuated his next statement with a glare. “I also don’t appreciate the insults towards me. I did what I thought was best at the time.”
Applejack puffed herself up in indignation. “You sold us out! If I was here-”
“If you were here, I still would have signed because I’m the oldest and owner of the property. Not to mention, neither of us know anything about the business side of the farm,” Mac retorted. “‘Sides that, you weren’t here. You don’t get to judge what I did to keep things afloat when you couldn’t even be bothered to stay.”
Applejack growled in frustration and turned around to trot away. She slammed head first into the dark furred pegasus she hadn’t seen behind her.
“Hey, AJ,” Thunderlane greeted. “How-”
“What are you doing here?” Applejack demanded.
“Here to visit Mac and help out with the jam making later today.” Thunderlane grinned. “Might even try to sweet talk him into letting me go home with one.”
Applejack’s face flushed in anger. “Well, stop it!”
“What?” Thunderlane asked.
“Helping! I’m here now, so you don’t need to be here any more. Only Apples work on Sweet Apple Acres and you ain’t no Apple.” Applejack snorted. “We don’t need some bird hanging around and mooching-”
Big Mac slammed a hoof into the dirt. Both Applejack and Thunderlane were thrown off balance as the ground heaved and shook. Both looked towards Mac. His eyes glowed with dark green energy and his mouth was set in a straight line.
Applejack froze. “Mac, why’d-”
“Apologize,” Mac interrupted.
“Why do I-”
“Now,” Mac growled.
Another tremor rocked the earth punctuating the statement.
Applejack appeared to want to fight back, but thought better of it. She turned toward Thunderlane with her head hung low and a scowl marring her face.
“Sorry, Thunderlane,” She said.
“No problem, Applejack.” Thunderlane rubbed the back of his head with a spare wing. “No harm done.”
Applejack sniffed in response.
“I left a shovel back in the east orchard,” Mac said. “You mind grabbing it for me, AJ?”
“What do you need a shovel for?” Applejack asked.
“Nothing.” Mac replied. “But you could use some time to blow off steam before lunch.”
Applejack kicked the dirt halfheartedly before trotting off to do what Mac asked with her head hung low. Mac flicked an ear as he caught the tail end of mumbled curses that followed in her wake.
Thunderlane stepped towards Mac tentatively. “You need to talk, big guy?”
“I need to feed Apple Bloom.” Mac sighed. “And talk.”
Thunderlane grinned. “Good, something that can be multitasked. Let’s head inside.”
“Birdy!” Apple Bloom called out as she dashed to the dining room table.
She climbed up into her seat then planted her forehooves on the table and back legs on the chair. She wriggled happily in place with a big grin on her face.
Thunderlane trotted to Bloom with a matching grin as Mac set about heating up a premade casserole in the oven.
Once in range, Apple Bloom bopped Thunderlane on the nose with a hoof. She laughed as Thunderlane went cross eyed inspecting the end of his snout and wiggled his nose. He then retaliated with a boop of his own.
Apple Bloom fell onto her rump while holding her nose and releasing a cascade of chortles.
Big Mac smiled as he closed the oven door and set the timer.
“So,” Thunderlane started. “How’s being a father of two?”
Mac snorted as he plopped himself into a chair at the table. “Terrible. The older one is argumentative about everything. The younger is alright when she ain’t eatin’ mud off the ground.”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “Nuh uh, I don’t eat mud.”
Big Mac smirked. “Oh really?”
Apple Bloom giggled.
“So, what were you eating this morning then?”
“Pie.”
“Pie, huh? Why was it brown then?”
“Cuz… cuz...” Apple Bloom bit her lip searching for an excuse. She brightened up when she thought of one. “It was chocolate!”
Thunderlane tried to cover his snort with a wing. Big Mac nodded with a teasing grin. He gestured to her forehooves with one of his own.
“So, when are you going to wash all that ‘chocolate’ off your hooves?”
Apple Bloom looked and noticed the mud caked onto her fetlocks. She gasped and galloped off to the second floor bathroom to clean up.
Big Mac started to rise before Thunderlane put up a wing.
“I got it,” He said.
Thunderlane leaned closer to the mud stain. He exhaled causing a small cloud of vapour to form. The vapour condensed further into a small cloud then released a torrent of water that washed the mud away.
He grinned at Mac as he sat down.
“Never gonna get used to your fancy weather tricks, Thunder.” Big Mac shook his head.
“Said Mr. Tremors over here.” He leaned forward with his forelegs crossed on the table. “What happened?”
“Applejack found out about the contract with Rich.” Mac leaned back in his chair with an exasperated sigh. “Told me I’m a shame to the family and that Rich was gonna take the farm. You came in about when I lost my patience.”
“Isn’t he just running the business side of the farm at no expense to you?”
“Eeyup, but try tellin’ her that.” Mac frowned. “I don’t know, Thunder. I thought I did the right thing by tossing my ego, but she’s sayin’ the things I thought not a few months ago. Hard to not wonder if I made some bad calls.”
“Here’s a question then. If you hadn’t taken the deal, would you have been able to keep Apple Bloom and the farm?” Thunderlane asked.
Mac closed his eyes. “No, I wouldn’t. Rich was right. I would have ended up collapsed in some field by now. It was too much work for one pony and if somepony decided to raise a stink, I would have lost Bloom as an unfit guardian.”
“Then you made the right call,” Thunderlane stated. “You chose your family over your pride. Better than what most do.”
Mac grunted. “Don’t mean AJ’s words don’t get under my skin.”
“At least she can be around to do it.” Thunderlane laid his head on the table facing Mac. “I’m kind of jealous of Applejack.”
Mac furrowed his brow. “Why?”
“Because she has you to be there for her.”
Mac opened his eyes, leaned forward, and laid his head down next to Thunderlane’s own. Thunderlane gave him a sad tinged smile.
“Whatcha mean, Thunder?” Mac asked softly.
“I grew up in Canterlot. My dad is a storm breaker, and my mom is a Royal Guard. Dad got called all over Equestria to break up wild storms, while mom was married more to her job than dad. I was home alone. A lot.” Thunderlane frowned. “I hated it.”
Mac nuzzled Thunderlane’s muzzle with his own. “I’m sorry, Thunder.”
Thunderlane smiled. “Thanks, Mac.” He sighed. “Anyways, to get to the point, I have a little brother named Rumble. I foalproofed my home and read some books on foalcare. I’m hoping I can take custody of him from my parents on the basis of ‘he deserves to have someone who cares about him’.”
“I’m sure you’ll do it.”
“I hope so, but, well, you inspired me to try.” Thunderlane laid a wing on Mac’s withers. “It’s hard, but you still kept your family together. I wanted to follow your example.”
Mac grunted. “I did what needed doin’. Nothing inspiring about that.” Mac released a tired sigh. “I don’t even feel worth it sometimes.”
“If you had the chance to change it, would you?” Thunderlane asked.
“Never,” Mac replied.
“And that’s why you’re the best.”
They both stayed in companionable silence with green meeting amber eyes before it was broken by the pattering of small hooves down the stairs.
“Birdy! Mackie!” Apple Bloom called as she raced into the room. “I cleaned up. Can we eat now?”
Both stallions chuckled as they broke apart. Mac stood up from his seat.
“Sure, Bloom. Just let me get the food out of the oven.”
Life had a habit of catching somepony unawares. Seasons changed, and with it so did the ponies closest to you. In other ways, Big Mac would muse, nothing changed.
The friction between Mac and Applejack was as bad as ever. They argued and bickered at every opportunity about nearly anything and everything.
It always started with Applejack making a subtle jab at some minor perceived wrong decision made by Big Mac. Mac would justify himself. Applejack would dig in her hooves. Escalation ensued followed by intervention from Thunderlane or Apple Bloom shortly before blows were exchanged.
Afterwards, they wouldn’t speak to each other for a stretch of time outside of vague grunts. Eventually, one of them would apologize, the other would reciprocate, then everything would be fine for a period before the cycle repeated.
Despite being a core participant, Mac didn’t know what to do to make it stop.
Conversely, while Applejack seemed to hate Mac, Apple Bloom adored him.
She followed him everywhere and idolized his every move. To her, if Big Mac did it, she did it because that simply must be the best way to do it. Nothing could convince her otherwise.
As she grew into adolescence, Mac noticed that she had a spark. A builder’s prerogative.
Machines. Contraptions. Devices.
Objects of wood and metal and dreams that Apple Bloom built from old parts and disused farming tools.
Mac noticed her ingenuity, her passion, and decided that no matter what he wouldn’tlet it die. Not like how he’d let his own spark sputter out.
So, any extra profits from the farm went to Bloom.
New tools, parts, a never ending barrage of encouragement, and everything in between that let Apple Bloom follow that trail of ideas wherever it took her.
Even if… it took her away from the farm.
Applejack hated it. Big Mac did it anyway. It wasn’t like she had any control over the funds. That was his prerogative.
The third consistent pony in his life was Thunderlane.
He didn’t understand why.
He knew how. Hard to not be close to somepony that visits near every day, but why Thunderlane even visited as frequently as he did was a complete mystery to Mac.
A bigger mystery was why his little brother Rumble did as well.
It had taken a year, but Thunderlane had managed to wrangle Rumble away from his parents. He had become a close friend of Apple Bloom’s — Rumble still grumbled about how he was forced into it — and they hung out nearly as much as Mac did with Thunderlane.
Rumble was… odd. He always spoke about the inevitable encroachment of death and was generally a pessimist, but Apple Bloom enjoyed his company… for some reason; so who was Big Mac to judge?
Besides, he was Thunderlane’s little brother and Mac was loath to spurn the family of somepony… who…
Mac didn’t know what Thunderlane was to him.
He was a constant in his life. One he needed in his life, but he didn’t understand why it seemed that Thunderlane reciprocated that need.
Thunderlane had a dating history that spanned the length of the Acres. A revolving door of mares and stallions. Each one had lasted but a few scant months before they broke up and barely talked with each other.
Mac talked to Thunderlane every day.
It had been a source of… tension in most of those relationships. The details of which Mac had never been informed.
It had caused a thought to worm its way into Mac’s head. A possibility that Thunderlane kept coming back because...
He didn’t know how to finish that thought.
He didn’t want to.
More importantly, perhaps, than all of that was that Sweet Apple Acres was officially fully owned and run once more by the Apple family. Several business classes from Rich, Apple Bloom growing old enough to assist on the farm, Applejack returning, and finally having Thunderlane as regular help allowed Mac to slowly, but steadily, take back his other responsibilities.
On the day Mac took back his final duty, Rich had come by to give him a bottle of fine wine in celebration. They had popped the bottle open and talked for several hours over drinks.
When the next major holiday had rolled around, Mac, on a whim, had decided to make a surprise visit to grant his well wishings and to catch up. A whim turned into a regular holiday event with Mac, Apple Bloom, Thunderlane, and Rumble all joining Rich, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon in intimate get togethers centered around Hearth’s Warming, Bunny Day and the other holidays.
Mac, Rich, and Thunderlane chatted each other into a tipsy tizzy while Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom fought like cats and dogs with Silver Spoon and Rumble trying to keep the peace.
It had gotten to the point where Mac had started a betting pool on which would happen first: they both killed each other or they got married.
The pool had grown to some dozen ponies and Mac had promised to never identify the entrants.
At each gathering, though enjoyable, there were always two noticeable gaps in attendees.
Spoiled Rich, who couldn’t bring herself to fraternize with the common rabble, and Applejack who refused to give any reasons.
Mac had also run into a problem in recent years. A personal one that he didn’t know what to do about.
It had started one day when he was working the fields. A gale of wind had sped through the orchard causing the tree branches to shake. Normally, Mac would have tuned it out, but this time the sound had been distinct.
It had sounded like the rattling of chains.
A month later, he had felt it harder to breathe as the kerchief around his neck felt akin to a metal collar.
Not a few weeks after that, the trees had taken to appearing more like iron bars.
Dread had settled inside of him to become a constant companion. He felt trapped, tied down in a cage. The farm had become unwelcome; a type of prison only he could see.
It abated when Apple Bloom would show him some new invention she had created or Thunderlane talked about his latest dating failure, but as soon as he was alone, the cage reasserted itself.
He didn’t know why it was happening.
He didn’t understand where the feelings were coming from.
Not until Applejack returned from the defeat of Nightmare Moon.
The farmstead was quiet the evening after the full day party celebrating Nightmare Moon’s defeat.
Apple Bloom was in bed. She had wanted to stay up to see Applejack, but the stress of the events prior had forced her to sleep.
Thunderlane and Rumble had stayed for a short while. Thunderlane had been restless the entire time. He fidgeted and glanced towards Rumble constantly while talking nonstop. Rumble on the other hoof was pale and seemed shaken by recent events.
Tired of watching the brothers in such a state, Mac had, over the course of several firm affirmations, convinced them to return home. With some lingering reluctance, Thunderlane had flown back to Ponyville with Rumble on his back.
Thus started the waiting game. Mac paced from kitchen to living room and back as he grit his teeth, trapped with his own thoughts. He was abuzz with various emotions, the primary of which was concern.
They might not get along, but he still needed to know if his sister was okay.
He flicked his ears as he heard the front door open from the kitchen. He dashed into the other room to find Applejack standing in the living room.
He did a quick once over. After finding no physical injuries, he dropped his rump to the floor with a sigh of relief.
“Well, howdy to you too, Mac.” Applejack grinned widely. “What’s with the theatrics?”
“Where were you?” Mac asked.
“Celebratin’ with the other girls at Twilight’s new home.” Applejack trotted past Mac and into the kitchen. “Had some talks with the Princess and hashed out the whole Nightmare Moon, er, Luna thing.”
Mac followed Applejack into the kitchen. “And you’re okay? You’re not hurt?”
“I’m fine.” AJ grabbed an apple from a bowl on the counter, and took a big bite of it. “I’m a little frazzled, but me and the girls are all okay.”
“That’s… that’s good.” Mac collapsed into the nearest chair.
“Worried about me?” Applejack sat at a second chair and took another bite of her apple.
“Eeyup,” Mac drawled. “Hard not to when your little sister goes to fight a thousand year old alicorn.”
“Fair enough.” Applejack snorted. “Have you heard about the Elements of Harmony?”
“Cherilee told me. You’re one of ’em?”
“Sure am.” She took another bite of apple and talked as she chewed. “Princess said we’d be sent on missions together from now on. Saving the world from evil. Goin’ to be real heros.”
Mac felt a bitter thought worm its way to the front of his mind.
He frowned. “That so?”
“Eeyup,” Applejack finished off her apple in one final bite. “Did Cherilee tell you which Element of Harmony I got?”
“Nope.”
“Honesty.” Applejack leaned forward with a big grin. “Shows you that-”
Big Mac laughed.
Applejack leaned away from him as he released a chorus of unrestrained wheezing guffaws that brought tears to his eyes.
“What’s so funny?” Applejack asked indignantly.
Mac let his laughter subside into errant giggles. “I just figured out the irony is all.”
Applejack looked at Mac in confusion. He took that as a sign to continue.
“We don’t talk about our problems, at all. We are both probably the biggest liars in Ponyville with how much we bicker about nothin’.” Mac wiped a few remaining tears from his eyes. “Meanwhile, you get the Element that describes this family the least and get to have what I wanted without actually wanting it.” Mac snorted. “No wonder this place feels like a cage. You got to be free once because you were a coward where I got forced into this position and have to stay here toiling away on these fields until I die. Alone.”
“What the hay are you talking about, Mac?” Applejack slammed her forehooves on the table. “You’re just spouting random nonsense!”
“It don’t matter, AJ. It don’t matter at all.” Mac rested his head on the table. “You tired?”
“Am I-,” Applejack sputtered. “Course I’m tired! I ran all over the Everfree Forest just yesterday and had no rest yet.”
“Then go to bed, AJ.”
“What?”
“Go to bed. I don’t want to deal with you anymore tonight.”
“What are you- Ugh!” Applejack gave Mac a furious glare. “Fine, ya big oaf. See if I care!”
“You never cared before, don’t know why you’d start now.”
Applejack looked hurt for a moment before her face twisted into fury. She stomped past Mac, and up to the stairs to her bedroom.
When he heard Applejack slam her door close, Mac released the silent tears he had been holding back.
It was a sunny day in Ponyville. The market was busy with ponies in the middle of their afternoon shopping, and the temperature was pleasantly warm.
This was irrelevant to Big Mac as he was focused on watching Thunderlane while he went about his weather duties.
Specifically, his flanks.
They were, in his opinion, perfectly sculpted. Toned and bouncy enough that Mac wanted to test it with the throw of an apple.
Thudnerlane had a model physique. He had been fit all his life, but he had developed a layer of thick, corded muscle from years of farm work with Mac.
His wings were obsessively neat and beautifully arranged into a splay of ordered feathers. Mac had never cared for other Pegasi wings, but with Thunderlane, he wanted to brush up against them.
His eyes. Mac could lose himself in those amber pools.
And all of this had caused Mac to be very confused as he had never once thought of Thunderlane like this.
Sure, Mac had an errant thought or two over how attractive his best friend was — there was a reason Thunderlane had a long dating history — but he’d never been so focused on his appearance before.
Before now, Mac hadn’t even been aware he was attracted to Stallions.
Before now, Mac hadn’t even been aware he could be attracted to anypony.
He’d had crushes before — Cherilee came to mind — but they were all romantic in nature. A short wave of affection that lasted for all but a scant few moments before it passed. He’d never had such… debased thoughts about another pony.
Big Mac didn’t even know what had started this train of thought.
Thunderlane had just chatted for a bit that morning with his usual dazzling smile and now Mac couldn’t stop thinking about him.
His thoughts had even taken a turn towards fantasy.
Like what a date with him would be like.
Mac pictured a romantic dinner under the stars on the Acres. A red and white checkered blanket, lit by a single old lantern in the northern part of the orchard that had the best view of the night sky.
They’d drink cider, and eat a bunch of savoury food Mac would have made fresh that day. They would talk, Mac would say a cheesy line about stars being reflected in Thunderlane’s eyes, they would lean their muzzles closer together and…
Mac felt his face flush.
It was a bit much for a stallion with no relationship experience.
But he couldn’t help it!
His mind just kept coming back to this impossible fantasy. Their wedding on the Acres, Mac tending to Thunderlane when he’s feeling sick, and good morning kisses every day over breakfast.
Mac waking up every morning with Thunderlane between his hooves. Hearing the soft beating of Thunderlane’s heart against his. The faint smell of rain storms in his mane. Looking into his eyes as-
“Mac!”
Mac was startled out of his daydreaming by the noise. A quick search showed the source of the voice to be his sister Applejack glaring up at him.
“We’re at the market, ya dolt. Keep your head out of the clouds.”
He looked out the corner of his eye to find Apple Bloom tinkering with some contraption. Seems he was the only one being told off.
He grunted and turned back to scanning the crowds. Applejack huffed and started to sort through the remaining inventory.
Despite the busyness of the market, it was a slow afternoon. Most ponies had bought their produce in the morning to nab the best ones from the bunch, which usually left afternoons as long slogs.
That left the Apple Siblings at the stall with no customers.
Just Big Mac, Applejack and Apple Bloom.
Alone.
“What do you think of me?” He asked.
He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.
Applejack and Bloom both turned towards him.
“Whaddya mean, Big Bro?” Bloom asked.
Mac considered dropping it, but decided to pull through since he’d already said it. “Exactly like I said. What do ya think of me?”
“You’re the best,” Apple Bloom replied immediately .
Big Mac smirked and turned to Applejack who was staring right at him.
“AJ?”
Applejack thought for a moment. “I think you're a miserable pony.”
Apple Bloom stared at Applejack with a shocked expression. Mac stayed silent.
“You talked ‘bout that cage thing that night, right?” Applejack continued. “Thinking ‘bout it, I think you made yourself miserable all by your lonesome. Our big brother hero that took over the farm out of the goodness of his heart. How noble of you.”
Applejack spit on the ground.
“Sis!” Apple Bloom shouted.
Applejack ignored her. “Betcha you enjoy your high ground now.” Applejack scowled. “Get to lord over everypony else how morally better you are. Well, Mac. I think you’re more like a swamp. Dragging everypony under so they’re stuck with you. How does it feel to be the water everypony drowns in, huh? Bring everyone down to your miserable level.”
“AJ, what the hay?!” Apple Bloom shouted.
“Language, Bloom,” Applejack retorted.
“Why don’t you watch yours!” Apple Bloom stomped towards Applejack. “That was totally wrong, and you know it.”
Applejack glared at Bloom. “He had it coming.”
“No, he didn’t.” Apple Bloom shoved her snout into Applejack’s with a hard glare. “You’re in the wrong, apologize.”
Applejack held her ground for a moment before snorting. She turned towards Mac. “Fine, I’m sorry.” She narrowed her eyes. “Mac?”
Mac had always wondered what would eventually destroy him. He had presumed it would have been overworking himself, or one of Apple Bloom’s inventions, or even Thunderlane telling him he didn’t want to see him anymore.
Never had he ever considered the possibility that one of his own sisters would manage the task.
He would be more impressed with the sheer hurt Applejack had inflicted if he could breathe through the tightening of the imaginary collar around his neck.
“Mac, what’s wrong? You don’t look so good.” Applejack said.
“You okay, Big Bro?” Apple Bloom asked.
No, he wasn’t. His heart was racing, fit to burst; he was breathing rapidly through his constricted airway, and he could feel his coat become soaked in sweat.
He was desperately clinging to any form of stability in the wreckage of his psyche’s foundation that had been broken by Applejack's remarks.
He had made himself a prison.
And he’d trapped his sisters in with him.
A coherent part of his mind wondered if this was what a panic attack felt like.
In his distress, his mind latched onto the first thing it could think of to save itself.
Find Thunderlane.
Mac scanned the crowd and found him in short order. His panic attack subsided.
Mainly due to the shock of what he saw.
“I’m fine,” Mac interrupted.
Both his sisters looked at him with concern.
“Are you sure?” Bloom asked.
“Yeah.” Mac took a steadying breath. “Let’s pack up and go home. Market’s slow and we probably ain’t getting anything more sold today.”
Applejack glared. “But the day ain’t-”
“We’re going home!” Mac shouted as he rounded on Applejack.
He panted in place as he stared back at twin expressions of shock. Without further preamble he began packing up the cart.
He needed to get away from Thunderlane.
He no longer wondered what a future with Thunderlane would be like.
His mind had done more than enough to fill in the blanks.
Clipped wings.
He’d seen clipped wings.
A future with Mac was a future of being groundbound.
As he continued his work, Mac fought back against the wave of emotion that threatened to overtake him at the thought of the horrible thing he had almost done to his best friend.
Since that day in the market, Mac’s panic attacks had gotten more frequent.
He would be working alone in the field when suddenly he would be overwhelmed by a feeling of being trapped. He found that if he took several deep breaths, the feelings would subside before they became worse.
In cases where they didn’t, he wound up on the ground and unable to stand back up. On those occasions, he would slowly name all of the trees across Sweet Apple Acres until he could right himself.
He had considered the issue resolved and had managed to keep it a secret from his family.
Until Apple Bloom caught him.
He had hit a particularly bad bout while apple bucking. He had gotten back under control fairly quickly, but had been met by his baby sister crying and shouting his name when he came out of it.
She had wanted to show him a new contraption she had built.
It was one of the worst moments of his life.
Mac soon found himself seated in the kitchen with Bloom, Applejack, Thunderlane, and Rumble across from him — the latter two brought by Apple Bloom.
Mac had tried to downplay the issue, but failed to account for Thunderlane and Apple Bloom’s panic induced rage.
He knew they were reaching a boiling point when lightning arced through Thunderlane’s mane and small cracks formed on the floorboards underneath Apple Bloom’s hooves.
So, he explained the panic attacks to them.
When he was finished, Applejack looked annoyed, Apple Bloom was in tears, Rumble was as dour as he always was, and Thunderlane had an unreadable expression on his face.
Then the calm broke and all Tarturus let loose.
Thunderlane told Mac he needed to see a doctor in Canterlot. Mac countered that he couldn’t leave the farm that long, and that they couldn’t afford the treatment.
Apple Bloom offered to forgo her allowance until Mac could see a doctor. Mac replied that it still wouldn’t be enough and he wouldn’t compromise Apple Bloom’s future.
Thunderlane offered to cover the cost. Mac retorted that he shouldn’t as Thunderlane still needed to support himself and Rumble.
Applejack threw in her two cents saying that they were making a fuss over nothing. Apple Bloom exploded. Applejack said that she didn’t know any better and the Pegasi brothers leapt to Bloom’s defense.
Everyone was arguing, and shouting.
He was drowning everypony he cared about.
A prison of his own making.
Then, because mercy was a foreign concept to Mac, he had another panic attack.
He came to some time later with his head lying on the table and Thunderlane desperately trying to get his attention.
Rumble was comforting Apple Bloom.
Applejack looked paler than a sheet.
The compromise made afterwards in exchange for not seeing a doctor was non-negotiable.
Big Mac huffed as he stirred a pot of stew.
“Oh, stop being such a grouch,” Applejack said from her seat at the table. “Thunderlane will be here soon and then you won’t have to deal with me.”
Mac grunted.
“If you didn’t want a foalsitter then ya shouldn’t have...” Applejack stared into empty space as she trailed off. She shook her head. “Well, it don’t matter. Your next sitter will be here soon.”
Mac glared into the bubbling stew. He was being treated like a hobbled old stallion.
If he had any pride before this, it was in utter tatters now.
He turned off the stove top, poured the stew into two equal portions in nearby bowls, and took both to the table. He placed one in front of Applejack and the second in front of himself as he sat down.
They both glared into their bowls.
The silence was mercifully interrupted by the appearance of a scroll in a blaze of green fire. It landed in Applejack’s stew splattering her.
Mac snorted as Applejack unrolled the scroll and read it over with a scowl marring her face.
“Looks like I’m leaving soon with the girls to deal with some nearby dragon.” Mac’s ears perked as she placed the scroll on the table. “I’ll head out when Thunderlane arrives.”
“A dragon?” Mac asked.
“Oh, look. He speaks.” Applejack rolled her eyes. “Yeah, a dragon. Apparently, it's snoring up a smog over Ponyville and the Princess wants us to tell it to get lost.” She snorted. “We’ll see how that goes.”
Mac stood up from the table and made his way to the front door. He found himself blocked by Applejack who had galloped to intercept him.
“Where are you goin’?” Applejack demanded.
“Out.” Mac attempted to move past her.
Applejack stepped in his way. “No, you ain’t. Not until Thunderlane gets here."
“Why do you care?”
Applejack bristled. “Because…!” She looked down. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Then you should have thought of that before you left.”
Applejack glared up at Mac. “What do you mean by that?”
“Exactly what I said.” Mac loomed over her. “You should have stayed in Manehattan.”
“In Manehattan?” Applejack asked incredulously. “That was a decade ago! You’re still on that?”
“‘Course I’m still on that,” Mac said mockingly. "I’ve always been on that.”
“Seriously?” Applejack stomped her hoof. “You can’t just let that go?”
“No, I can’t just let that go.” Mac jabbed a hoof at Applejack. “You left us when we needed you the most and now you’re doing it again with this darn Elements of Harmony business.”
“Well, what do you want me to do, Mac? Honesty chose me. I can’t make it un-choose me. I don’t want to, but I have to leave-”
Mac released a bark of laughter. “Don’t want to? That’s all you ever want! Not being here.”
Applejack released a growl of frustration. “It is not my fault for being dragged into this! What do you want me to do, Mac?”
“Leave!” Mac roared. “I want you to leave and not come back, so I don’t have to worry about you never coming back. So, why don't you go out the door, meet up with your new friends, and die because then I never have to worry about you again!”
Applejack stared at him in shock.
Mac felt his heart stop. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes.
Shame didn’t begin to describe how he felt at that moment.
He needed to leave.
“Mac...” She raised a hoof towards him.
He pushed past her, charged through the front door, and raced into the orchards.
“MAC!” He heard behind him.
He kept running.
Mac eventually stopped once he reached the farthest point in the northern orchard. He was found by another pony some few minutes later.
Said pony laid down next to him a few inches away.
Mac was laying down on the ground with his head buried in his forehooves. He released a loud wet snort.
“Go away, Thunder,” He said.
“Applejack left,” Thunderlane said. “She didn’t want to, but, well, palace business is more pressing than family, unfortunately.”
Mac sniffled in response.
They sat in relative silence interrupted only by Mac’s muffled crying.
“I told my sister that I wanted her dead,” Mac said.
“We all make that mistake sometimes,” Thunderlane replied.
Mac growled. “That’s not funny.”
“It’s not meant to be. We all say things in the heat of the moment we don’t mean to.” Thunderlane looked at Mac. “How long have you been bottling this up?”
Mac didn’t answer.
“So, long time then.” Thunderlane ran a wing through his mane with a sigh. “At least, we know the root cause of your panic attacks.”
“It’s not that. I’m just stressed from the harvest. I’m-”
“If the next words out of your mouth are ‘fine’, I’m going to get really mad at you.”
“I’m sorry.” Mac sniffled.
Thunderlane groaned. “Don’t be, I’m just- Ugh!” He ruffled his mane with both wings. “I just keep thinking that if I’d paid more attention to how you were feeling, I could have stopped this from happening.”
“Thunder, it’s not your fault.”
“Well, it doesn’t feel like it isn’t.” Thunderlane sighed. “Look, Mac. you need to promise me that when Applejack gets back, you’ll talk to her about this.”
“She won’t want to talk to me.”
“She will. Trust me. Promise me you’ll talk to her, please?” Thunderlane pleaded.
Mac lifted his head up. “You know I can’t say no to you.”
“Good, you shouldn’t, I’m very wise.” Thunderlane grinned when Mac snorted. “Applejack won’t be here for a while and the chores can wait. What can I do to help?”
Mac stood up, closed the short distance between them and then laid down next to Thunderlane.
It was the morning after. Big Mac and Applejack sat alone in the kitchen. Thunderlane had been long gone since he’d dropped Mac off at home last night, and Apple Bloom was handling the chores without them to give them time to talk.
Applejack had only arrived an hour earlier as she had opted to stay at Twilight’s house the night prior.
Mac didn’t blame her.
He tapped his hoof lightly on the table at a steady rhythm while Applejack stared at a single spot on the table.
He half expected the table to ignite.
“So,” Mac started.
“So,” Applejack replied.
They both fell into silence, broken only by the rapping of Mac’s hoof.
“I-”
“I’m sorry,” Applejack interrupted.
Mac stopped tapping his hoof. “What for?”
Applejack’s head came up to look at Mac directly. “A lot. Yesterday. Everything.” She hung her head. “I’ve been acting like a git.”
“You have.”
“I have,” Applejack agreed. “I talked with Pinkie Pie yesterday.”
“Oh?”
“She wanted to talk with me after I pummelled a boulder into pebbles on our way up to deal with the dragon. I had apparently been crying while doin’ it.”
“Oh.”
Applejack fidgeted in her seat. “She talked me through a lot of stuff. Namely, that I don’t really understand you. She said I should ask you if I wanted to fix things between us, so, Mac.” She looked up at him. “Why’d you take over the farm?”
Mac took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he mulled over his answer.
“You remember the day we got the news that our parents and Granny had died?” He started.
Applejack flinched. “Yeah, I do.”
Mac nodded. “Prior to that, I was at a job interview to become a banker in Ponyville proper.”
Applejack furrowed her brows. “A banker?”
“I liked to work with numbers and the pay was good. More than enough to support anypony I cared about.” Mac sighed. “More than enough to hire farmhooves.”
“Farmhooves?” Applejack furrowed her brow. “Why did you want to hire farmhooves?”
“To give you and Apple Bloom options.” Mac leaned forward in his seat. “I had a talk with Pa when I was younger, some few years before their death, and he told me the state of things. He said that if we wanted to leave the farm we were goin’ to have to figure that out for ourselves.”
“He said that?”
“He did. Pa loved us, make no mistake ‘bout that, but AJ, farms don’t make jack.” Mac leaned back with a sigh. “We’re better off than most, can afford more than basics mainly due to Rich, but we’re poor and Pa figured it would be better if we resigned ourselves to being farmers.” Mac snorted. “Had the first of a lot of fights with Pa.”
“You fought?!” Applejack shouted.
Mac smirked. “That’s good to hear. If you didn’t even realize it, then we hid it well. Yeah, we fought. Frequently. I didn’t like that Pa wouldn’t try harder for us and Ma was on his side.” Mac’s smirk grew wider. “But Granny was on my side. She got me the interview at the bank. If I got the job, I could bolster the family’s finances. Give you and Bloom the choice to choose the farm instead of being forced to.”
“But they died.”
“But they died.” Mac nodded his head. “Timing couldn’t have been worse. I got the news while I was waiting just outside, and I rushed over to check on Apple Bloom. Spent the next few days gettin’ everything in order.” Mac sighed. “I wasn’t going to let our family’s home be sold off or taken over by strangers.”
“So, you took over cuz of pride?”
“I took it over for our family. I wanted you and Bloom to still have our home and I didn’t want to lose either of you since you were all I had left. It’s why I stood my ground when our extended family kept trying to stick their nose into everything.” Mac scowled. “There’s a reason the reunions have been gettin’ smaller and it has everything to do with the malackery they spouted about me as a caregiver for Bloom.”
“What did they say?” Applejack asked.
Mac’s expression turned darker. “You don’t want to know, AJ and I don’t want to tell you how I responded either.” Mac shook his head. “Anyways, I’d gotten everything in order, we were set to continue as we had before, but...”
“I ran away to Manehattan,” Applejack stated bitterly.
“You ran away to Manehattan,” Mac agreed. “I spent all that time keeping our home for us, you, me, and Bloom, and then you left. I hadn’t had any time to grieve with what was happenin’ and I had to keep it together for both your sakes. I was hoping with you there to ease the load after everything settled I could have that time, but you left.” Mac felt bitter tears form in his eyes. “It hit me real hard. I almost ruined everything with my darn stubbornness. Wouldn’t accept help from Rich when I badly needed it because I wanted to prove I could do it myself. But I needed help. If Thunder and Rich hadn’t been there for me, I don’t think you would have had a home to return to.”
“So, you hate the Acres?”
“No, I hated that I didn’t have a choice. I hated that I couldn’t give you and Bloom what I wanted to. When you said what you said in the market, I’d thought-”
“That you’d failed,” Applejack finished. “That you’d done to us what had been done to you. That we were stuck here.”
“Yeah, I did.” Mac wiped his tears away with a hoof. “It hit me really hard thinking I’d ruined your lives.”
“But you didn’t!” Applejack slammed her hooves on the table. “I shouldn’t have said that. I told you that cuz I was being stupid. I just-” Applejack took a ragged breath through a sudden onset of tears. “I resented you.”
“Why?”
“Because you did what I wanted to do. You saved the farm,” Applejack said mockingly. “All I saw was my loud mouth older brother being so much better than me and being the big darn hero. I resented it.”
“I didn’t do much of anything, AJ.”
“You did more than me,” Applejack spat out. “I got scared. Ma, Pa, and Granny died. Things were all over the place with you and Bloom, and I didn’t want to deal with the aftermath.” Her face fell. “I was a coward. I came back because I couldn’t live with the regret and misery I made for myself. Then the rainbow happened and I used it as an excuse to come back.”
Applejack laid her head down on the table. “I was mad because I felt guilty. You had figured everything out, did what you needed to stay afloat, and all I could think about was how I skipped town and left you and Bloom to face it alone. I fought against you because I was ashamed of the choices I made. Then I resented you for doing better than I did.”
“I didn’t-”
Applejack sat back up and slammed a hoof on the table. “Stop. Just stop. I get that you aren’t the type to boast, but you did everything right. You sucked up your pride and did what had to be done. I screwed up, took it out on you, and it took ten years to realize how badly I managed to do that.” She hung her head. “You didn’t deserve my horrible attitude, or insults, and, ugh, neither did Thunderlane. I should apologize to him later.”
Mac furrowed his brow. “Why do you hate Thunderlane so much?”
“Because he did what I should have been doing.” A fresh bout of tears formed in Applejack’s eyes. “Being there for you and Bloom.”
They trailed off into silence that was broken shortly by quiet sobbing from the living room.
Mac sighed. “Come on in, Bloom.”
The small filly trotted into the kitchen. Tears were running down her face.
“I’m sorry, Big Bro,” She warbled. “I didn’t mean to make you choose me over your banker job.”
“Aw, Bloom, come here.” Mac got out of his chair, faced Bloom, and opened his forelegs wide for her.
Apple Bloom charged forward. Mac wrapped her in a big hug.
“If there was anything ‘bout this I never regretted, it was picking you.” Mac nuzzled Bloom’s mane.
“I love you, Mac.” Bloom sniffled.
“Love you too, Bloom.” He turned to look towards Applejack who stared back with a morose expression. “Hey, AJ?”
“Yeah?” Applejack asked tentatively.
“How ‘bout we clean the slate and just try better from now on?”
“I don’t deserve that.”
“I don’t rightly care, sis.” Mac held one of his forelegs open. “Get in here, ya brat.”
Applejack trotted carefully forward and let herself be wrapped up into Mac’s hug with her sister.
They stayed together, holding each other as time carried on, ignored. Not everything was fixed; it would take more time before things would be okay again. Mistakes would still be made.
But at that moment, it felt okay.
Applejack sniffled. “You know. If the Acres feel like a prison, maybe you should try makin’ it feel more like a home.”
“And how do I do that?” Mac asked.
“I always liked Birdy,” Apple Bloom said.
Mac was quiet.
“Mac,” Applejack looked directly at him from within his embrace. “Look, we’re all here together and that’s how it’s going to be. Can’t fix what happened. We just gotta do better moving forward.” She jabbed Mac in the chest with a hoof. “And doing better means taking the chance and asking out that darn Pegasus you can’t stop being around.”
“What if he says no?” Mac asked quietly.
“Then I kick him in the face,” Applejack replied.
“I test my catapult on him,” Apple Bloom mumbled.
“What was the rule about death machines?” Applejack and Mac said in unison.
“Don’t. But I reserve the right to test them on ponies that hurt my family!” Apple Bloom pouted.
“Best answer we’ll probably get from you.” Mac sighed. “Even so, I can’t just-”
“Mac, ask him,” Applejack interrupted. “He’s in the market today. I guarantee that he hasn’t been doing everything he does for you because he’s ‘just your friend’ and has been waiting for you to ask him.” Applejack buried her face in Mac’s fur. “We’re still here, and we’ll be here when you get back. Be selfish for once.”
Mac took a deep breath. “You both mean more to me than anything in the world.”
Both sisters held Mac tighter. “We know,” They said together.
Both sisters let their brother go and watched as he charged out of the house towards Ponyville.
Because when Mac has a goal in his mind, it’s best to just stay out of the way and let it run its course.
Big Mac galloped through the Ponyville market. He pushed through irritated crowds with the single-minded focus of finding a single pony amongst them.
A black pegasus with a silver mane and a smile that melted his heart.
After a short while racing through town, he found him off to one side, away from everypony else. He had a big grin on his face and a bounce in his step.
Mac put on a final burst of speed, followed him into a cordoned off part of the market, and pulled up just short of his target.
Thunderlane regarded him with a surprised look.
“Hey, Mac, what’s up?” He asked.
“We’ve known each for a long time, right?” Mac said hardly winded by his gallop from the farm.
“Yeah, well over ten years by this point.” Thunderlane tilted his head. “Why?”
“Why did your previous dates go so badly?”
Thunderlane’s gave an awkward chuckle. “Well, you know how my luck is with other ponies. Tend to strike out more than I-”
“Was it because of me?” Mac interrupted.
Thunderlane stared at him in shock. He bit his lip and cast his gaze downwards, unsure of how to answer the question.
Mac didn’t need him to.
“What am I to you, Thunder?”
“You...” Thunderlane trailed off then gave a determined look, “Important. You’re important to me, Mac.”
Mac nodded. “You are to me too. You were there for me when I needed you the most. You always hang around me and I’m happier when you’re there.” Mac’s face turned a brighter shade of red than his coat. “I can’t stop thinking of you even when you’re not around.”
Thunderlane’s face flushed, his wings shot up and his fur puffed up, clearly flustered by Mac’s remarks.
Mac thought it was cute.
“I want to be selfish, but I don’t want to drag you down.” Mac hung his head. “I don’t want you to feel trapped with me.”
Thunderlane grabbed Mac’s face with his wings forcing him to stare into his amber eyes. “Listen. I don’t feel trapped with you. When I’m with you, I feel safe. Like everything is going to be okay and nothing can hurt me because I have you near.” Thunderlane gave a warm smile. “You’re my rock, Mac.”
Mac smiled. “I’m glad, because I feel the same way.”
Thunderlane put his wings back at his sides. “Glad that’s sorted out, but, uh, was that all? Kind of an intense speech to give out of nowhere.” Thunderlane chuckled.
“No; are you free tonight?”
“I have to generate the rain clouds for early tomorrow morning this evening, but after that, yes. Why?”
“I have a picnic prepared and was wondering if you wanted to go stargazing with me in the north orchard,” Mac asked nervously. “If you'd like that, of course.”
Thunderlane’s face split into a near manic grin. “Mac, are you asking me out on a date?”
“Yeah, I am, Thunder.” Mac felt a sense of embarrassment take hold of him. “B-but only if you-”
“Yes!” Thunderlane wrapped Mac in a big hug with his forelegs. “I would love to go on a date with you.”
Mac felt a surge of happiness well up inside of him. He felt overwhelmed by his emotions, but for once, it felt good.
