On what was supposed to be a short jaunt to Trottingham, Bright Mac, Pear Butter, and Granny Smith meet their ends leaving the Apple siblings alone.
Big Mac, as the eldest and the only adult, now must take on the mantle of the Sweet Apple Acres patriarch.
He only hopes he can see it through.
An entry in Imposing Sovereigns III, using the prompt Big Mac/Perserverance.
This story contains LGBT themes. Emphasis on the G.
Edited by LuckyChaosHooves
Pre-read by Mushroompone, Captain Hairball, and The Sleepless Beholder
Chapters (10)
This is an extremely well written first chapter.
I'm looking forward to where this story goes!
A nice twist here with Filthy. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Didn't expect to see Applejack back so early.
I love the imagery of young Apple Bloom following Mac around the farm all day.
This for some weird reason is not getting any comments so I deicide I would comment.
1 You are doing a wonderful job of keeping the expense coming and you are having a wonder full pace,
2 I am loving how you are portraying Big Mac,
3 Keep at and can't wait for more.
You've been keeping me hanging on every word here.
Y'know, I'm surprised this story hasn't gotten more attention. It's certainly one of the best written fics I've seen featuring Mac like this. And while most fics screw up their pacing when it comes to romance, you've somehow managed to make something I otherwise wouldn't have cared for really compelling. Honestly, I think your focus on how Mac and Thunderlane compliment each other in a legitimate and practical manner, appropriate to how Mac perceives the world, has done wonders here.
All things considered, fantastic work so far. Editing doesn't look bad at all, and you've been updating frequently enough. Continue the hard work. Regardless of the ongoing M/M shipping contest, this is a story that deserves to be continued on merit alone.
11006305
Thank you very much for the compliment! I'm glad you're enjoying the fic and I hope it manages to meet your expectations.
11018045
She was actually supposed to show up a chapter sooner but I ended up pushing her forward one in favour of starting the Thunderlane, Mac romance sooner.
I too love Apple Bloom in this and she has quickly become one of my favourite characters to write in this story.
11021878
Thank you! I'm genuinely surprised people have been alright with the pacing as I feel I'm going almost a mile a minute with this one. I also really like Mac in this, and I am hoping to finish up the story by the end of this weekend.
11021937
I'm glad! Hopefully, I can keep you hanging on until the end!
11023366
I'm glad for the high praise! I should actually be able to close everything out by the end of this weekend hopefully, so you shouldn't have to wait too long to see the resolution. Thank you very much for reading!
I don't care that Big Mac is bi. But it's tough having to rake enough money for the farm, be Apple Bloom's dad and not take Applejack's bullshit.
11024677
Indeed, Mac's responsibilities are quite stacked as it were.
Wonderful story and an adorable ending.
Alright.... it was a good ending that much I can say...now I'm bah ok so see I'm Catholic and well I wish it wasn't male on male...
Now on to the review I will say you did rush it a bit on the end but that's fine, I did not find any grammatical errors so that's good you did a wonder full job on cliff hangers so good on you for that.
I wish right at the end you expended a bit you didn't which honestly is fine and all and all it was a good story.
Okay, so first things first; great story. Seriously. The plot was straightforward enough but with plenty of good emotional bumps here and there, the characters felt realistic and had understandable motivations, and the settings, when applied, added well to the overall tone being conveyed each chapter. From what I understand, most of the dislikes were earned early on, likely as a reaction to your early portrayal of Applejack in both her leaving and then returning to the Apple Acres farmstead. This only proves how important patience is with some of these fics, because 'Releasing the Warden' chapter was an excellent explanation and ending for Applejacks character. Overall, a good story with a good theme on Family.
However, I have to agree with fellow reader 'Death is bliss' that this last chapter feels off. Like he said, if you need to extend it, extend it. It certainly felt a bit short from my perspective when reading it. There was also something else about it that felt slightly odd, but I can't really put my finger on it. Maybe it's just that the interaction between Mac and Thunderlane takes place in an open and public domain? Setting can have a lot to do with tone. If made a more private setting, the intimacy of them beginning their relationship might carry a bit more 'oomph'. But I'm not writer myself, so it's ultimately up to you. Nonetheless, this was good work. I appreciate you taking the time to write this.
11026118
So, I won't apologize for doing MxM, that is primarily what I write, however, I do thank you for being respectful and giving the story a chance. That is really great of you to do.
Yes, I will admit the ending is rushed, so I might actually spend some time reworking, but thank you for reading the story.
11026185
I'm really glad you liked the story! And as Death mentioned the ending is a bit rushed so I might spend some time reworking and expanding on it.
Most of my dislikes are actually from what is known as the "gay tax", which are dislikes garnered because, well, it's gay. I can usually tell by the fact that the view counter on the story stays stagnant, but the dislikes go up. I would also agree that probably the rest of them are from Applejack, as I definitely went with a harsher portrayal of her.
Otherwise, thank you very much for reading!
11025802
Thank you very much! Glad you enjoyed it.
11026294
Honestly I wasn't looking for a apology there was a reason for the Sp. but I will most likely read the rework of it just because the MxM wasn't that long so I could just skip it, I look forward to the rework.
11026185
Probably what felt so odd is how Applejack mood did a 180 from our perspective.
I mean you did give a reason why she did what she did but it wasn't that personal for us as the readers,
For example for most people and cases if someone said a homeless person died they would just shrug there shoulders and move on with there lives while yes some might feel bad or something like that it just won't make a difference now however if you said Big mac became homeless and died then you would care,
now just replace applejack as the homeless and well you should be able to see.
I would suggest to expend a bit on the Applejack and Pinkiepie part to give the reader a more emotional reason on how Applejack came to the conclusion that you had at the end.
Loved it was exactly what I needed. Hope to see a sequel about thunder and Mac being together ❤
Only two apples, because she only came home to two Apples. Ouch.
Oh, this was fantastic. It’s fascinating to see how the dominoes fall once you take Granny out of the equation, especially with Applejack. Great tale of an equine Atlas struggling to carry his whole world on his shoulders, and ever so slowly learning that he doesn’t have to.
And I do love how there’s a specific rule against Apple Bloom building death machines.
Thank you for this. Best of luck in the judging.
This was great. My one complaint is that I feel like the plot pacing/character development was a bit rushed to fit into the contest's wordcount limit.
11057396
Completely fair. I basically gave myself a 1500 word count limit per chapter in order to be able to get all the details in and then continuously failed to make it only that every chapter excluding the last ones.
awesome family moment you really nailed the exchange of an awkward topic and I really loved when they all held together it was so damn good
augh this is so precious! what a great way to start the story, to maximize the contrast with the crushing weight of adulthood and responsibility
hehe! of course children would have dreams like this growing up in a world with Nightmare Moon on the literal moon every night
ah yeah, she would be in Big Mac’s life as a customer of his family, wouldn’t she? and it would be on-brand for her to be insulting an adolescent like that
big oof
oof. bringing back the dream of the guard from just earlier. also great use of repetition. it feels exactly like what my own life experiences with death have been, and i can imagine it to be far worse when my parents go
oof, of course that is when it would all happen… really twisting the knife here!
and oof…that is going to leave a mark
and oof, yeah. without Granny Smith still around to be the adult, taking on all this responsibility and grief and change at one time while barely out of childhood himself, that is going to do a number on Big Mac, isn’t it?
oh i am sure he will carry that not looking back even once into the future
aww, fic cover drop! and yeah, considering it seems like that yoke was his father’s in the first place, it’s very in keeping for Big Mac to honor her that way
oh he is keeping track of these things for sure!
aww, cute!
oof, there’s that Apple Family stubbornness
oh, dang! love this backstory for Filthy Rich, and explains why he’s always done right by the Apples
so true! glad Big Mac is thinking of this
aww that is so Apple Bloom
hehehe great answer
hehe, always love references to the cast being the same age as Cheerilee growing up
ehehe he is an offending bird so true
hoowee
noooooo Big Mac! why would those two be in conflict?
yay, assistance!
aww that is so cute!
yay, Big Mac being happy! i am surprised! and i certainly hope this will not be the happiness that is later taken away again to make Big Mac even more of a tragic figure!
dang that is so Blossomforth
hahaha i see the seeds of mad inventor Apple Bloom here and i love it
yay casual bisexuality! this is why i love ponies and reading and writing them
ooh, that’s how you know it’s an AU!
oh what a way to underscore how long AJ’s been away from the farm! love it
aww, so that still happened! neat!
i mean Big Mac just says the reason right here why he shouldn’t hold Applejack leaving against her, but then again, he is barely an adult himself and really going through it
haha dang, Thunderlane is really going through all the young adults in town!
at this point is this, uh, what Thunderlane wants?
aww! this does make me hopeful that this tension will only be a temporary thing the siblings grow out of but then again considering how much story’s left…
11037913
so true, never thought of that, damn
oof, definitely can see Applejack really doubling down on her initial perceptions with stubbornness like this
ooh, sick burn!
and oof! AJ really is saying the very things to make Mac resent her more at this point
rude!
aww, Thunderlane is so good at being a supportive friend/obvious endgame
augh so cute!
hehehe. and can see AJ getting very upset about Big Mac being called her father
aww, pegasus magic is useful!
aww dang! Thunderlane has so much in common with Big Mac, no wonder! also explains why neither Thunderlane nor Rumble make any references to their parents in their episode
aww, lovely!
aww! also nice in-story explanation for where a young Apple Bloom gets all those resources for her inventions from!
dang, years and years without figuring out why… okay i def believe that for Big Mac
lmao so true. love existential goth friend Rumble
figure it out, Mac! or maybe, figure it out, Thunderlane and Mac!
aww, a nice big merged family! that’s so nice! also, wait, what’s Silver Spoon’s deal here? does she not have her own family???
Homestuck…
hoowee, what company for AJ to keep…
well, that’s a twist! Applejack’s main character adventures would feel a lot different from the perspective of a family she does not get along with
and oof… yeah, that’s going to feel very unjust
damn… but yes, exactly what Mac would feel in this situation
oof! you are so good at twisting that knife and then twisting it some more
so true
oh, dang! Mac really buried a lot of himself deep, didn’t he?
augh that sounds so nice!
aww, Apple Bloom is the best!
and oof! giving Applejack some knife-twisting lines of her own!
i gotta say, thinking just an “i’m sorry” is gonna do anything after what she just said…
and oof. in the end, of course that is what would cause him to feel the most sick. (and though there is some truth to Applejack’s words, certainly not to this extent? given the warm, familial relationships Big Mac built with Thunderlane and Filthy Rich’s families just earlier, that Applejack herself was refusing to participate in??? but panic and insecurity does a number on ya)
oh no! no, Mac, that’s not what’s going on! augh
a doctor is a very good idea here! and there is that stubbornness and self-martyring, oof
so ironic that the prison is Big Mac refusing to accept help here, perfect
and oof, reading between the lines here…
oh hey, it’s that episode!
oof! yeah, that must seem quite ridiculous at this point
damn, dude!
augh, Thunderlane is so good for Mac! honestly there is no way he wasn’t deliberately sabotaging all his relationships until Big Mac came around, if he’s a partner of this quality
and oof! very nice to have Big Mac and his parents’ relationship being more complicated than one would think being revealed to Applejack at the same time as it’s being revealed to us
does explain why we hardly hear of the extended family in this story!
aww! all of these unspoken issues interlocking like this throughout the whole story! just very well-done!
noooooo!
hehehe everyone knows!
aww, but at this point Thunderlane is already part of the family!
so true! and great to see everything come together like this!
hehe, the wings! love it
so true, that is the dumbest thing!
aww! and i guess Thunderlane figured it was best to wait for Mac to figure himself out before telling him any of this but oof, what a wait!
yay, happiness!
that really was quite wonderful! the Apple parents’ deaths and their aftereffects are such a ripe source of angst and drama, but it takes a deft hand to give it the weight it deserves while presenting a fresh perspective. really loved the very complicated relationship between Applejack and Big Mac here, and how different the family dynamics between the two would be in such a scenario. Applejack’s adventures and Element-bearer status had such a different feel from this perspective! one of dread at a random and capricious world masquerading as one with order. and augh, Thunderlane is such a sweetheart, and i’m glad Big Mac’s stubbornness and self-denial could not stop them from being together. great work!
I absolutely adored this story. Read it in one sitting and it had me in tears and joy. I have a sweet spot for hurt comfort, especially family and queer romance and this had all of it.
I just wish there was more of this quality content, I guess I will just have to try some of your other works.
Thank you for writing this masterpiece, I hope you might one day return to it or write something similar. The writing quality was also top notch and I liked your style a lot! It felt refined, clear and well written!
Also loved the MxM and relationship presented here!