Thoughtletts
“The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress”
— Philip Roth
An appropriate quote for my April Foolishness, where I’m posting a month’s worth of incomplete stuff, and how I started it. Let’s get started here.
From a question on the Writer’s Group about how to write sex scenes that don’t get the M tag for Mature. I, of course, have been working on an idea.
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2019/01/plants-use-flowers-hear-buzz-animals/579964/
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/50/the-writers-group/thread/386754/sex-scenes-that-arent-clop
Sometimes, you just need to bee creative with your references.
---
Light. Blessed light. The warmth spread through her body, flooding every cell and making her chloroplasts swell with the newfound energy that could find no release without further action. Reflexes built into her stoma forced proton pumping through the guard cells around them, opening their throats wide to allow carbon dioxide to flow in even while her roots dug microscopically deeper into the rich soil, drinking the fresh water that had just been poured in. Carbon dioxide and water shifted under the power of her kind, the energy of life itself as she sundered molecular bonds with ease and allowed the sweet taste of glucose to enter where she had never dared.
Lost in the glow of that infinite power, she luxuriated in the power of the divine light.
Time passed, the warmth shifted, and more complex sugars were forced into the delicate petals of her reproductive organs. An unexplainable glee coursed from her roots to leaf tips as the flower opened, glistening in the light and awaiting fertilization. This was what she had been created for. Not only to live, but to reproduce. To spread her kind across the fertile land. Her blossom opened even wider, begging for the touch of the one who could make that impossible dream a reality. Swollen with nectar, she ached for release, nearly in physical pain as she sensed the passage of what she sought always out of reach. If she could have reached out and grabbed them, or even called out to the creatures with more than the simple aromatic sugars she released on the breeze. Once she could have, back when she was a pony, but that was beyond her now.
Then… there was the anticipated touch. Fuzzy and clumsy, the creature stimulated her aching cells with every step and curious poke. Deeper and deeper it penetrated into her reproductive organ, stimulating her nerves until she could do nothing but tremble under its manipulative limbs and tongue. It must have been young with the way it stumbled, not touching where she needed it most, not licking where her nectar was the thickest, an insensitive brute pushing and shoving into her most delicate parts until…
Whether luck or skill guided the creature, it reached right where it needed to be, pressing down and lapping while ignoring the way she trembled under its desired touch....
--From the upcoming story, Twilight Sparkle Learns About Photosynthesis. Those lascivious plants, all waving their delicate bits where anypony can see. They need to at least wear pants.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photosynthesis
On a chapter of Ocellus’ Ordinary Day by RainbowDoubleDash where the young changeling meets Rarity’s protective cat, I had to write about my own experiences with that situation:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/424561/2/ocellus-ordinary-day/afternoon
I have to pass along a story from my childhood. We lived on a farm. My older sister had 'dropped off' her scrawny Siamese cat, which was both a housecat and preggers. She actually gave birth in my lap when I was watching TV (and I had *no* idea she was going to do that or I would have tossed her into the CatCave before that. Yes, it's icky.) Anyway, our last dog had died, and Dad went to get a new one.
So set the scene. Squirrely Siamese cat upstairs with her young kittens. Dad brings back a German Shepherd puppy (which was to be an *outside* dog, since we did not have *inside* pets at the farm for good reason). Big honking puppy. It gets away from dad, comes through the front door all giant paws and drool, so happy to be in the house that we were not going to let it be in period. I'm on the stairwell when the mamma cat comes by me about 900mph, makes the corner at the bottom of the stairs, and greets the new puppy with all four paws full of claws. Yeah, it was outweighed about 20:1, but mama, so...
Puppy goes into reverse gear, much like a cartoon with his big paws flailing around on the waxed wooden floor and plaintive yelps while the cat is going to town on his nose. Puppy gets turned around and *bolts* in the opposite direction, past the open door he came in by, and around the other side of the house (which as old farmhouses are wont to do, is shaped like a capital O for traffic). Cat (being smarter than Dog) turns around, and heads around the *other* way. They meet in the kitchen. I can't see what is going on, but I'm pretty sure 'Second verse, same as the first' from the noise. Dog comes shooting out of the kitchen like all the cats of hell are right behind him, goes through the open door at full throttle and nearly knocks my dad on his rear. Cat stops at the door (because she is a *real* indoor cat, and hates the outdoors with a passion), stares at the departing dog, and proceeds to go back up the stairs to her kittens.
End result: The cat was completely full of herself (like that's a change) from then on, and the dog did not even go up on the porch until his dying day, which is what we wanted in the first place.
Sometimes I comment on my own stuff, most likely because I know I’ll approve. In this case, about the Gameloft MLP iPhone game.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/837665/mlp-gameloft-game-bug-or-intentional
MLP as a MMORPG. The mind boggles.
"Darling, if I could have a word with you? You see, there was a terrible accident during loot distribution."
"Rarity, I was very careful and followed all of the Master Looter protocols we agreed to."
"Yes, but you see, the Element of Generosity... It's the wrong piece. I already *have* my Necklace of Divine Grace, and the stats the new necklace bestows are positive, I'll admit, but it just doesn't work with my piece bonus. Perhaps if we could trade, since my headpiece doesn't tie into a set bonus anywhere, and--"
"Soulbound." Twilight adjusted the Tiara of Magic and admired herself in the mirror. "Once I got it, I had to try it on."
"Oh." Rarity heaved a sigh and put on her new necklace, then stood next to Twilight and regarded their reflections with a skeptical eye. It was a sign of how much Twilight was getting to know her new friend that she spoke first.
"Look, Rarity. We'll do some heroic instances to get you some new gear, and you can build an entire new set around that necklace. After all, it's unique to the server. Then once we get geared up enough, we can do raids. And I'll even let you critique everypony else's outfits. How's that sound?"
Iisaw had a wonderful plugging blog post on GaPJaxie’s The Third Wheel. I had to get a can of spray paint and contribute because I love the story too, and Light Step is so much like Luna.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/424138/the-third-wheel
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/837839/go-read-this
"Yes?" asked Light Step after a period of silence in front of Princess Celestia. Being yanked out of the dorms and hustled to the castle in the middle of the night had not improved Light's normal glowing disposition, and getting the silent treatment from her sister's most perfect teacher was not helping.
"You must understand," said Celestia with her lips still drawn into a thin line, although the low noise of grinding teeth had finally faded away. "I am not blaming you for this."
"I didn't do it," proclaimed Light Step. "I have witnesses." After a time of looking up into that humorless expression, Light considered the door and retrenched her position. "Perhaps if you were to show me the problem first, instead of making me guess."
Without a word, Celestia turned and strode away, through several corridors and up a set of stairs until they came to a huge obsidian door marked with Luna's crescent moon. Light Step followed, of course, because she may have been a little more cranky than usual, but whatever was going on had tweaked her curiosity to an unsafe level. The massive door swung silently open at the touch of Celestia's magic, to reveal the Alicorn of Night lounging on the balcony beyond, with the risen moon glowing just above her.
And on the moon was a very good sketch of Celestia's plump rear.
"Luna," said Princess Celestia with a magical boost to Light that propelled her physically into the room. "Fix it."
Then the door slammed shut hard enough to shake the floor, leaving Light Step and Luna alone.
The two eyed each other for a short time before Princess Luna gave a glance over her shoulder and asked, "So, do you like it?"
"It's not bad," said Light Step. "For a beginner. Do you have any paints?"
Chapter 77 of If Wishes Were Ponies (a HP/MLP crossover) had me wondering about changelings who had been captured.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/406279/77/if-wishes-were-ponies/77-oops
>>9336327 One has to wonder if these changelings that 'starved to death' were then put into coffins and buried.
"Finally," huffed Digger, once she had gotten the last brace into place. A little wedging with the crowbar, lifting the lid, and reaching down *very* carefully with a bottle of love extract to tip a few drops into--
"FOOD!" The changeling in the coffin grabbed the bottle and began sucking down the liquid love inside, finishing only when he was running his tongue around the bottom of the bottle in order to get the last drop. Then there was a slightly awkward pause as he eyed the drone at the side of the coffin, who was rolling her eyes in the dim green glow of her horn.
"Feeling better, Dunderhead?" she asked.
Dunderhead nodded, with the bottle mimicking his motions.
"And you got your tongue stuck in the bottle like the last three idiots I've been digging out all night, didn't you?"
There were several grunts, then Dunderhead nodded again. Digger grabbed the bottom of the bottle and pulled, somewhat more powerfully than the other changeling was ready for, and rolled her eyes again when he curled up in the bottom of the coffin and clutched his face.
"Get out of there, you moron, and help me get this dummy stuffed into the coffin. We've only got the exit covered until dawn, so we need to extend the tunnel to three more coffins by morning or those idiots will be stuck in hibernation for another week."
Present Perfect is musing on some of his older ‘edgy’ OCs that he was going to make into a story sometime. FanOfMostEverything called them over the top. I had to top that. And I made Never The Final Word II. Seriously, before this I must have thought of nearly a dozen endings trying to make this better in the hopes that they were funnier, but after further review, no pun in ten did.
Over the top? I'll give you over the top.
"The horror! The HORROR!" Rarity cringed away, nearly curled into a ball and trembling. "No," she whispered. "Stay away."
Skull chortled and took a step forward with a clicking and jingling of piercings. "So you don't like my outfit? I made it myself. I call it... Skull Fashion." He lifted one foreleg and shook it to let the tiny silver skull piercings touch with the fairy-like tinkle of tiny bells. "I've got skulls embroidered on the kneepads, skulls on the shoulderpads--"
"Bladed," whimpered Rarity. "I noticed. But that's not it. I can't believe you... monster!"
"Yeah," gloated Skull with another step forward. "I used tiny little skulls to decorate the bigger skulls."
"Still not it," gasped Rarity, twitching and trembling as if she were trying to tunnel out of the corner of the room. "Your coat... That terrible, horrible shade of fuchsia. And your orange mane! It's unnatural!"
"Don't care," said Skull, taking one last step to tower over her. "Now, before I end you and get back to the rest of the losers, you got any last requests?"
"Just one." Rarity stopped trembling and looked up, studying him with an experienced eye. "Blue, I think. Cerulean blue."
"Cerulean?" Skull blinked a few times as unpracticed neurons in his brain fired. "Do you expect me feed you or something?"
"No, Mister Skull." Rarity stood up with the coiled fire hose behind her expanding with pressure, and the nozzle pointed firmly at Skull's face. A few dark blue droplets of water dripped down from the tip, most likely from the five or six empty packets of Goops Permanent Color Changing Formula scattered around her hooves.
"I expect you to dye."
A blog on the Sweetie Chronicles by Wanderer D brought some interesting comments on Sweetie’s toughness.
Darnit. Now I'm going to have to write a story where Sweetie Belle climbs her wardrobe and screams when she sees a spider in her room. And when Rarity goes to see what is going on, she winds up on top of the wardrobe too. And Twilight later. And Spike. And then Applejack...
One panicked shifting of wings, horns, and hooves later, Applejack had somehow managed to wedge herself into the narrow space between the huddled horned mass of mares on the wardrobe and the ceiling. There was a sullen silence, followed by the farmer's quiet, "Don't nopony say nuttin. Yes, we gots spiders out at the farm, but they's smaller than that. And not so... creepy."
"And hairy," agreed Spike, who had wrapped himself all the way around Twilight's horn and was threatening the stability of their formation by his weight hanging over the floor below.
"My heroes," said Rarity with a sigh. "I suppose we can wait until Fluttershy shows up."
Sometimes I even comment on myself. Like when I made a snide remark about our MLP literary history going back to Oog making cave drawings of ponies.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/835605/announcements-eqd-napowrimo-interview-and-bits
"So..." Celestia turned her head sideways and squinted in the low light of her horn. "That's a pony?"
Oog grunted and dabbed his thumb into the mix of ochre and water before resuming his drawing against the cave ceiling.
"Even though it has five legs," continued Celestia, "all of different lengths. And they're running... I presume that's grass you're drawing?"
After a few more swishing marks along a general line, Oog turned his attention to a larger figure.
"And that's a pregnant hippo, I presume?" asked Celestia politely, only to shake her head and walk out of the cave when the wings and horns were scrawled in. Once out in the open air, she spread her wings and rose up into the air to where her sister was sitting on a cloud, lighting up stars.
"So... literature in the humans still not up to your standards?" asked Luna without turning around.
"Apparently, I'm a hippopotamus," grumbled Celestia. "I give. You win. Let's go back to the ponies and see if we can make a civilization out of them."
Irrespective’s Beanverse has an update with an upcoming Equestria Girls story. I had to comment.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/835473/all-good-things
And I promise to keep prodding you with ideas.
Oddly enough, the portal’s whirling and swirling had not made Baked Bean throw up like he was afraid, but it did make him brace all fours against the ground when he landed so he could just pant for a while and recover. As Celestia had said, his form had changed when he went through the portal, with arms and hands instead of forelegs, and... well, a vertical instead of horizontal attitude. He staggered to his 'feet' with no small amount of arm-waving, only to have one hand caught before he tipped over.
"Oh, so sorry," said Celestia in her own beautiful voice, despite the strange shape she was wearing. "It looked like you were about to fall down again."
"Thank you, dear." Bean stood up as straight as he could with one sore leg impeding his movements and looked around with several blinks to clear his head. "I'm glad you decided to come through the portal too. I guess it's safe for little Epiphany. And one more nice thing about here that you didn't mention." He reached up and kissed his wife on the lips, then rubbed noses with her. "You don't have to bend down for me to kiss you here."
Bean smiled broadly, an expression that began to slowly change into a look of worry as Celestia stared back, wide eyed. "Um... Dear?" he asked. "Is there something wrong?"
The writing group had a question about if there are any fics about the changelings who impersonated the Mane 6 and their families. I could not help but contribute.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/50/the-writers-group/thread/380990/the-changelings-that-posed-as-the-main-6-and-royal-families
"So... You're Double Feature?" The mare asking the question shuffled her hooves and continued to look at the floor, which struck Duble as ironic because it really did not matter what disguise he was wearing if all ponies acted like this.
"Yes," he put forward just as carefully as he could. "If I every disguised myself as one of your relatives or significant--"
"No, not that," said the mare abruptly. "It's just... My twin sister wanted to know... You were the changeling who disguised himself as Shining Armor, right?"
At his hesitant nod, the mare began to pick up speed. "Because my sister and I really like Prince Armor and we've always had this... thing for him, and if you wanted to come over to our place tonight for a few hours or all night would be really great.."
Oliver has some thoughts on a Battleship Harmony story. Sounds good. Somebody, go.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/833334/ideas-i-will-not-be-writing-6-space-battleship-harmony
Even though centuries had passed, Cadence never lost her Shining Armor. He had always said he would be next to her heart, and as she touched the crystal pendant around her neck, she could feel his warmth and strength as if he were there in flesh and bone. Without him, she would never have been able to do this. With him, she could move worlds.
She settled into her cradle, the encompassing embrace of plastic and cloth which would be her home for the immediate future, and after a moment to brace herself, reached.
The immense power of the Harmony Wave Engine was never meant to be channeled by a single individual, but at that moment, Cadence was anything but. Tens of thousands of changelings scattered across the hivemind resonated with her might, tied together as one while the transformational magic reached down behind the fleeing starship and touched the charred planet they were abandoning. Frightened and alone, gathered together and waiting for the end, or trapped away from any known pony, it did not matter. Ponies, griffons, changelings, yaks, and every other being, sapient and otherwise, began to vanish and reappear in the shielded chamber Cadence reigned over, changed from their frail form of flesh and blood to the impervious crystal of her namesake. Much like the pendant around her neck, every living creature still remaining in Equestria turned to a diminutive crystalline state and sorted into the immense chamber inside Harmony, regular patterns of silicone and carbon and other chemicals in tight array where they would await their destination, and hopeful reconstitution.
And once it was done, the chamber was silent as Cadence, the True Princess of the Crystal Empire, reigned over her remaining subjects in similar crystalline slumber, waiting as the days and years....
Ilsaw is visiting castles. With Twilight. This can only end well.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/831831/im-not-jealous-but
"And if you'll walk this way, the tour has a special treat for you. We're going to see the actual bedchambers of the Princess of Friendship herself. Step carefully, please, and mind the rugs. They tend to slip on the crystal floors. As you can see, this room is decorated in Early Ponyponian by none other than the famous Element of Generosity, Rarity Unicorn, who we will meet at the end of the tour at her boutique, where you can purchase souvenirs. Note the gentle colors on the curtains, the repeating motif of Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark, and... Oh, we have a very special treat for you today at the noon tour: The Princess of Friendship herself, still sleeping. Please try not to wake her; she must have been up all night with a friendship problem, or studying a spell. We'll just move right along to the Royal Bedchambers Bath, and then to the Throne Room, where a very special artefact can send any of the Elements of Harmony out across the world on special missions. Come along, step lively. We have a lot to cover before the next tour group is scheduled to start."
There was a period of not-silence in Twilight's bedroom as careful tourists trudged along their appointed path, making only slightly more noise by trying to be quiet than if they had just walked normally. The flashing of cameras died down to a few stragglers, and then there was peace. Well, until Twilight could feel the gentle poking of a tiny hoof, which resolved itself into a small yellow pegasus filly when she managed to open her eyes and look.
“Missus Princess, Ma’am? Could my little brother use your bathroom? Please? It’s been a long tour, and he really has to go.”
Twilight looked at the diminutive tourists, weighed the amount of effort it would take to teleport them both outside where they could wizz wherever they wanted, then gave a slow nod. They both vanished in a flurry of feathers, and Twilight Sparkle settled back down. The next tour group would be by in an hour, so she had enough time to get just a little more sleep in.
“Oops,” called out a small voice. “He didn’t quite make it. Miss Princess, do you have a towel or something?”
Irrespective is wondering how the Beanverse would be different with Daybreaker. Me too.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213750/prince-beanverse/thread/378178/nose-weekly-break-of-dawn
I would imagine Daybreaker as an obsessive tyrant personality, who raises the sun when she wakes, and puts the moon up when she goes to sleep as a "Do not disturb or you're going there too" warning, thus making the days and nights whatever length she wants instead of adhering to a schedule. She loves the blaze of colors flowers make, because they remind her of fire, and the palace gardeners strive their best to keep her happy that way because a happy Daybreaker is one who doesn't roast gardeners. Then one day, an unexpected intruder catches her by surprise..
Bean could feel the warmth of the day sweeping over him, surrounded by life and sunflowers and... something very warm on the end of his nose.
He opened his eyes to fire.
And promptly fainted.
(break)
"Get up, you fool." The voice was harsh and raspy, but also curiously quiet. When Bean peered through narrowed eyelids, he caught a glimpse of a burning coat and firey mane that he feared, but strangely enough he could feel a tiny thread of concern in his heart also. The feared Daybreaker, Princess of Equestria looked... frightened. Of him. She was pacing back and forth across the marble tiles of a small room, leaving little smoking divots in the marble while murmuring quietly to herself, a nervous trait that went away as his slight motion caught her eye.
She turned on him, or more correctly rounded on him like Bean was some sort of fierce warrior pegasus with sharpened spear ready to assassinate her, and the angry expression that filled her face only emphasized how she wanted to reduce him to ashes.
But... She did not. He was not even scorched. Which really worried Bean more than if the divine mare was getting ready to burn him.
"Your Divinity," Bean managed in the quiet, respectful voice that his parents had taught him. "How m-may I be of s-service?"
"You have to marry me," she fairly spat. "Today."
Bean fainted again.
From the Proofreader Group, on filtering (and they used a Luna/Wedding pic, the fools)
[Deleted Scene from the Royal Wedding]
"Don't worry," whispered Twilight to her friends. "Princess Luna is still out there, and--"
The sound of a window being slammed open above them echoed around the city, making every changeling hesitate and look up to the Royal Towers.
"WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!" bellowed Luna's voice across the city. "KEEP THAT INFERNAL BUZZING DOWN OR WE SHALL BE MOST UPSET!"
The window slammed shut again, and silence reigned, or at least for a few moments until the changelings started flying around again, only much quieter.
"Or I suppose I can go release Cadence from her goop," muttered Twilight. "I swear, we have to do everything around here."
From The Trouble With Unicorns III by Admiral Biscuit
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/421685/the-trouble-with-unicorns-iii
I really only get three: Car warranty (yeah, my 2000 Honda Civic is prime for that), student loan interest (paid 'em off a few years ago) and credit card fraud.
The last one I've gotten a fair edge on because our card company *might* call, so I just ask them which card they're calling about. No, I mean which one, not Visa or Mastercharge. If you're really our company calling because of my card, you can give me the last four digits of my card. Anytime. I'll wait. No, I'm not going to read my card to you, because you called me, so you *have* to know what card you're calling about. Or my billing address. Yes, I'll wait. Anytime. Heck, do you even know my name? Hello? Helloooo?
I was really expecting--
Yen Wi pushed the 'Flush' button on the console, which hung up on the call and picked up on the next one in line. Sometimes all he would do for hours was push the button, read the script until interrupted, push the button... But it paid, and that was the important part.
"I rent," came the familiar voice on the other end of the phone before he could even start his spiel. "Does a maintenance contract even work for a rental?" The sound of splashing water echoed over the line as Yen sat in his uncomfortable office chair, then slowly reached over and pushed the 'Flush' button again.
"And does it cover appliances?" added the voice. "Because I put a baked potato wrapped into aluminum foil into the quick cooker thing and sparks went all over--"
He jabbed down on the 'Stop' button and ripped his headset off, just sitting in place in his cubicle and panting while that terrible voice continued in his bare ears. And continued. And continued...
"And I suppose that would be damages incurred before the policy, but you could backdate it, or just make allowances. After all, we Equestrians really don't understand your human technology, so you can't expect us not to have a few minor issues. Like this soap dispenser. I dropped it in the tub last night, and now the little thingie doesn't go up and down very easily. Would that be covered by the maintenance agreement also? Oh, and I have a lawn mower, but after I used it to mow about half of my yard, it just stopped, and I had to graze the rest off without even any croutons. That could be added to the contract also, I suppose. And another thing...."
From Royal Prodigy Twilight’s
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/418500/the-untrotted-path
"...the other studious unicorn levitating a book at reading height and using Twilight’s tail as a guide..."
Ok, now I can't help but see a line of unicorns across the campus, all with their noses buried into books and following the one ahead of them until...
Green Grass bumped the front door of the frat house open with one shoulder and strolled inside, still with his Thaumaturgic Disorders of Horn Growth textbook crooked in his foreleg, which had slowed his gait across campus in order to keep reading. Final exams tomorrow was going to be a nutcracker of a day, with three of them back to back to back, a brief pause to inhale lunch, and a double-length promptly afterward. He kept moving to his bedroom and put the book down on his desk, then paused at a peculiar noise.
There were five unicorn mares in a line behind him, a line that stretched down the frat house’s stairs and most probably out into the street.
"Ladies," he announced in as calm a voice as he could manage, "can we wait until after Finals?"
It makes sense in context: From GaPJaxie (see, I told you)
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/420244/14/fifty-shades-of-neigh/all-under-control
“Twilight?” The door to the castle library creaked open and two worried alicorn princesses poked their noses inside. “It’s been two weeks. Twilight?”
A flick of the switch turned on the library lighting, a soft but cheery glow that was just right for reading the immense number of books crowding the crystal shelves. Normally, Twilight Sparkle could be found on the floor in the middle of a collection of cushions, surrounded by a dozen or more books in the process of being read.
This evening, there was nothing but silence.
“I blame you, dearest sister, for burdening your student with a display of our renewal process before she was ready,” said Luna, stepping inside the library with a quiet clicking noise from the dozens of beaded necklaces she had draped over her shoulders. She stretched dark wings and stepped over to the crystal table which displayed both a sun and moon symbol over the small image of the castle they were standing in at the moment. One gentle brush of dark feathers did not stop the dance of cutie marks around the illusionary castle, but did make a small swirl of dust float away. “You know, Twilight told me once that Spike would sleep for a month if she didn’t wake him up every morning. I didn’t know she was being literal.”
Celestia trotted over to the table in her sister’s wake and put both small hooves up on the surface, swiping across it and examining the film of dust that resulted. “You know I held off my renewal as long as possible. You pushed yours just so you’d wind up in Mareico during party season.”
“Every night in Mareico is party season,” said Luna with a shake to her neck that made the accumulated bead necklaces rattle. “So many young and handsome stallions who truly appreciate the night.”
“When we find Twilight, you get to explain to her what each of those necklaces mean,” said Celestia as she peered under the table.
“Better yet, I’ll take her there so she can experience it for herself.” Luna giggled before a more serious expression took over. “Celly, just why are you looking under the furniture for our missing Twilight?”
“When she’s stressed, Twilight wants to read,” said Celestia, scooting up onto Twilight Sparkle’s crystal chair and frowning in concentration. “We both… Well, all three of us stressed her out quite a bit by showing her how we refresh ourselves. If she was still my student, I would expect to find her behind the throne, reading out of her stash of books she keeps hidden in there for book emergencies.”
Luna looked around the packed shelves of Twilight’s library, then sauntered over to the cushion pile. “Well, this is the best place she has to read, but I don’t see her anywhere. Maybe if we just rested for a while— Ow!”
Celestia scurried over to where her larger little sister was rubbing her rump and scowling into the pile of cushions. “What is it, sister?”
“She didn’t put all of her books away. There’s—” Luna’s dark magic levitated up a thick tome, clad in a familiar lilac tint and with Twilight Sparkle’s cutie mark on the cover. The two alicorns stared at it for a while before the stress between them seemed to evaporate, and they shared a mutual giggle.
“That explains why she has been missing,” said Celestia. “Books exist to be read, after all.”
“One must wonder,” started Luna with a thoughtful expression, “when was the last time we spent time with Twilight?”
“There’s no time like the present.” Celestia settled down next to her sister and opened the book, enjoying the tale of a young unicorn who found the magic of friendship with five unlikely ponies, reunited two sisters, and went on to become a princess herself.
She particularly liked the ending, because it was a new beginning, like all good stories.
Bad Horse made a comment on a Present Perfect blog about how a Mary Poppins/MLP crossover needed to be made. I had to comment back.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/828459/fuckin-disney-magic
"Coming, coming!" called out Night Light as he scurried down the stairs, around the stacks of slightly singed books, stepped over the Junior Guard Authentic Armor Breastplate And Helmet, and drew up short in front of the house's front door. Running a quick hoof through his ruffled mane, he swung the door open while launching into his practiced speech. "I'm sorry about the smoke and the fire department again, but you know how foals are when they get the alchemy set unpacked and a few extra ingredients get added to their experiments, but we've got-- Oh," he added, blinking at the possibly middle-aged but maybe just a few years younger mare standing on his doorstep with an umbrella crooked over her foreleg. "Beg pardon, I thought it was the neighbors again."
"You are the father of Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor, are you not?" The earth pony mare opened up her purse and removed a sheet of paper that looked as if it had been torn up at one time, but was now sticking together just because it was afraid of coming apart again. "Now, then. The qualifications."
"Oh, you're here about the nanny position," said Night Light abruptly. "I'm sorry, but Princess Cadence was sent over by Princess Celestia just an hour ago. She's up with Twilight right now, helping clean her room and de-animating all of the furniture." A chaise lounge took that moment to go galloping past, followed by a small unicorn and a moderate-sized alicorn who shrieked with joy at the pursuit.
"Ah, a Chased Lounge," said the mare. "A true classic. I see my niece has things well in hoof, Mister Night Light. I shall bid you good day. Oh, and if you could give me directions to Rock City. I have another employment possibility there."
From a Pascoite blog post
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/824440/3000-and-counting
"Hey, Rainbow." Twilight Sparkle fluttered up to the cloud where her friend was napping and took a seat on an insubstantial wisp of vapor. "What are you watching down there."
"Oh, I gave Starlight Glimmer one of my stories and I wanted to see her reaction."
"One of your... stories?" A muscle under Twilight's eye twitched. "You mean one of the stories you wrote about clouds being a more complicated metaphor for life and--"
"Naa," scoffed Rainbow Dash. "One of my Daring Do dramatizations."
"Oh," said Twilight, peering down at the ground. "Fanfic. That explains why she's digging a hole for it."
"And she's..." Rainbow Dash squinted. "She must really have needed to use the bathroom. Is the one in the castle broken?"
"And now she's pouring gasoline on it." Twilight Sparkle considered their altitude and quietly used her wings to lift the cloud so they could get some distance from the incoming inferno.
From the story One Castle Two Alicorns and the natural conclusion
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/415416/one-castle-two-alicorns
"I brought a package for you, Princess Twilight," called out Flash Sentry as he poked his nose through the front door of the castle. "I'm not sure what it is, but it's heavy. I'll bet it's more books. Princess?" He looked back and forth in the entryway, then shrugged and trotted inside. One of these days, Equestria's newest and hottest princess was going to get a contingent of Royal Guards, and when that happy day came around, he intended on having his name at the top of the list.
"Hello?" he called out once he had navigated to the library, the traditional nesting spot of princeps rusticus. "I have a package for Princess Twi—"
Flash stopped cold, looking at the two purple princesses looking back at him. "Oh, my. I'm having that dream again, aren't I?"
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/416186/once-in-a-rainbow-moon by Pineta
Meanwhile, in an observatory somewhere in Equestria...
Five frustrated astronomers stood outside, glaring up at the sky and the misbehaving planets.
"Do you think she's done yet?" asked one right before the sun shifted positions and the moon began to glow several shades of colors, tapering from one edge to another.
"No," said the director of the observatory. "Come on back in and I'll break out that bottle of booze I've been keeping in the bottom drawer. Alicorns," she scoffed. "Treating the sky like it's their own personal playground."
On Boredom, from a Kudzu blog post
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/821098/boredom
With a mighty crash, Blardthorpkz the Unpronounceable slammed one tentacled fist into the side of the Castle of Friendship and howled his rage. "Twilight Sparkle, come out and fight or I will destroy your home, your town, and--"
"Come back in an hour! Two, tops!"
"What?" Blardthorpkz peered in a window of the crystal castle, only to stumble back with several tentacles over his seventh eye. "Ow! What was that for?"
"I'm in the bathroom!" sounded Twilight's voice. "Look, I'm almost done with Daring Do and the Curse of the Silver Sphynx, so just put a cork in it, okay?"
The demonic monstrosity paused, then asked, "Are you up to the point where Daring sets the train on fire and sends it down the tracks to Carbon Dating's secret dig site?"
"That's in the previous chapter," called out Twilight. "I'm up to the point where she stole the Crimson Ruby of--"
"Arrrgh!" screamed Blardthorpkz with tentacles over his ears. "Spoilers!! I'm not there yet!"
"You'll love the part where she distracts the guards with her knowledge of ancient Huzopochian dance, then," continued Twilight, oblivious to the agony she was causing outside the castle. "Now let me read so I can see how she solves the Puzzle of the Seventeen Cubes."
"Those were destroyed!" moaned Blardthorpkz. "Back in the third chapter--"
"But Daring used the Chronic Choker of Calabain to remake them," said Twilight right before the ground shook and the Unpronounceable One tunneled back into the ground on his/her/its way home. After a short time, perhaps a chapter or two, the bookish princess bounded out of the front door of her castle and regarded the relatively small amount of damage around the town.
"Darn," she muttered. "Third time this week."