Fair warning, but I'm probably the worst pony author ever. I'm a perverted, smug asshole and I think I'm way more clever and profound than I actually am. Oh sure you can fine worse stories out there, at least in a purely technical sense, but I'm pretty sure that those are actually fun to read as opposed to me when I try to be clever instead of just writing smut. Seriously, give Where There's Smoke a read and tell me that you honestly don't kind of want to punch me now.

That said, got a fetish or scenario you'd like to see but don't feel like writing yourself? Message me and we'll see if we can work something out. I reserve the right to refuse anything for any reason including but not limited to it grossing me out, baffling me or simply being far beyond my meager abilities. I also do not guarantee publication. I may abandon a story if I can't get any sort of good progress done on it or for any number of other reasons. Previous reasons have included existential angst and the existence of trees, so... don't get your hopes up though I will endeavor to get you a copy of what I've gotten done through google docs if things do go tits up.

Note that I will absolutely not do fics for any of the following categories:

Guro- While I do sometimes indulge in a bit of bloodthirsty ghoulishness myself I'm not a fan of torture or murder fics.

Your OC- This is not out of hatred but entirely because I have a hard time getting other people's characters right when I haven't had a chance to really study and think about them the way I have with the characters from the show. I urge you to instead write these stories yourself because seriously guys, writing is super easy. I'm a strategically shaved sasquatch and I manage to write.

Sparity- I fucking hate this ship and I'm not going to apologize for it. If its your thing then more power to ya, but don't look for it from me.

Additionally if you for some ungodly reason like my smut, I've written a few stories which have yet to be placed here that can be found over in the fanfiction forum on derpibooru.