Hearts and Hooves Day has come again, every one is happy and celebrating! Except one pony.
Princess Cadance notices that Mystic, a former student of Celestia, seems a bit sad on this day. Cadance decides to cast a little love spell on Mystic, to perk her up a bit. Cadance is shocked and surprised to find that she has brought Mystic an unusual mate. The spark of a lost love has been rekindled with a Draconequus.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'd suggest smoothing it out, less abrupt sentences, and maybe getting a pre-reader for grammar mistakes (everyone needs one, for the record!) Best of luck with this story!
-RB
This story look promising
2498423 Thanks for the advice, I'm a new writer so any advice helps!
*reads story*
*looks at like and dislike difference*
Oh come on, this story isn't that bad.
It's quite good actually. Looking forward to see what happens next.
The character list and description are kind of off putting though.
This story sounds promising. I can't wait to see where you take it.
2499584 Don't worry, it's not deceiving! Remember, the Prolouge helps set up for the story and the chapters help the story unfold! Though I am thinking of taking out Twilicorn and replacing her with Discord.....Eh, we'll see how this plays out
Oh, I've been looking for a story like this with OC characters. I'll keep lurking, best of luck!
looking foreward to next chapter :)
im watching you
Dark dreams about her past?
Hmm...
Go on.
You could have explained it in the beginning though, and you might have been able to reduce all those dislikes. You could have slowly.weaved what you wrote in the note somewhere in the beginning of the story. It is a little rough, something which will need some working upon, but other than that its fine.. Sorry, but is this a god review? I just joined today
and I am still getting used to this
:D
2574858 I'm sorry, but explained what? Nyaaaa I can't understand unless you're specific
Oh the feels I'm crying.