An autistic brony who is the owner of an OC pony named Charming Thunder and a big fan of Star Wars.
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A colt named Charming Thunder has come to Ponyville to find a place to live and asks the mane six for help. Along the way he sees an archeologist named Daring Do who is looking for the same thing that Charming Thunder is looking for: the egg of the Xenomorph. Will they survive the challenges in order to obtain the Xenomorph egg?
(This is the first fic to feature my OC Charming Thunder. If anyone has requests for a crossover story, post a reply on my home page.)
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>deleting comments
Don't do that.
Oh look.
It seems as if you're deleting comments.
3.bp.blogspot.com/-DeGo3ewhPSc/TikHgCqdKuI/AAAAAAAAAUc/eJZee-JVo8I/s1600/planking1.jpg
It is my first and my custom character has a sister. But NO. They said don't. Please it is just the way I want the story to be.
2454218 Thanks for your advice.
I'm not going to tell you to stop writing or even rewrite this. Just, please, consider the following when you start a new story.
From a reader's perspective there's some serious red flags here. Your OC's name for instance, a character that isn't a Human in Equestria shouldn't have a modern human name. At least not without a very good reason, instead they should have a name that follows or at least comes close to following the naming convention of the characters in the show.
Simply put… Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Shining Armor, Nathan, Princess Luna, Sweetie Belle. Which one doesn't fit? This matters more than you may think because every time he's mentioned by name it threatens to pull readers out of your story.
The OC and Daring Do run into each other just to find out that they are looking for the same item in the same place and they instantly team up. Why? They, more likely than not, would have different plans about what to with it before they met. What compelling reason do they have to work together?
Relationships with a canon character, such as Cadence being Nathan's sister… You should have a good story based reason for it. Handled well they can be very good, handled poorly it can go very bad.
2454826 You do know that Nathan is a unicorn. Its my story.
2456462 Didn't even bother to read my comment, did you?
2458294 I did read it. I was trying to explain that Nathan is the OC and that this is not a human universe fiction.
2458310 Yet that has little to nothing to do with what I wrote. You just grabbed one part of a sentence and took it out of context.
I clearly acknowledge he's not a human, the whole point of that part of my comment is he is a pony and not a human yet he has a typical human name instead of a pony name.
2458459 what name should I go with then?
2458459 how about Charming Thunder or Thunder Chaser?
2458596 I'm still not covinced that you read my earlier comment, if you did you'd have noticed…
2458961 I understand. I just want to know if I should change Nathan's name or not.
Wow amazing read there. Sure would be entertaining if a face hugger got ahold of "Nathan" would be such a shame ya know for a Lil alien to do the good ole chest burst out of him, it really would improve the story. Hey maybe since its an Aliens story you could have Ripley make an appearance and just kill everything!
2460553 Nathan is the main character of the story. He is not going to die in this story. You'll find out when I make the chapter for the facehugger. ok.
Oh right on is dareing do gonna cut a baby alien out of somepony?
2465765 nope. the facehugger is going on someone else. a bad guy who invaded canterlot to give you hint.
Nice story.
XD
Next chapter please I want to see way happens next
In case everyone knows, I have changed a name of the main character of this story to Charming Thunder because I think that Nathan is a human name. Thank you for understanding.
You now a predalien only comes out of a predator, right? but, other than that, I love this story.
2666752 thanks
You know this isn't actually too bad, I'm guessing it's one of the first things you ever wrote, but for an early writing work this isn't too shabby.
Lord knows it's better than my first ever attempt, I'm ebarresed to look at mine.
But........ predalein can only be made by...... why didn't you just.....I disagree with you sir.
they are going to be disappointed when they find out the xenomorph doesn't come from the egg
in all honesty how would it effect chrysalis she's already full of holes
That fight could have been much better, it was over in ten seconds flat!
5460683
For this fic, it seems fine. Though I wonder why would he need a sister?
EVEN REGIDAR CAME TO YOUR FIC!
If that's the queen, doesn't that mean she's sturdier?
I wonder how long you can control it before it breaks out. Charming Thunder is keeping a Godzilla in its cage i wonder how long can you keep a xenomorph on a leash before it starts killing everypony.
Their morals are all kunfunkled
They're all brain dead, one taking a xenomorph egg, two the queen is gonna kill someone, and three, still gonna read it even though the ponies are a bit dumb right now
Got something worng, facehugger does not inplant a hydro into it's host
Roll credits.
I'm calling it! Rainbow Dash is going to die. How do I know? Because you don't say that about a Xenomorph and live.
Well Charming meet Sweetie Belle and that got awkward.
2467105
That's a bit too vague. Every villain has broken into Canterlot. It's like the unspoken law of villains. Changlings, Tierk, Sombra. Nightmare Moon must have gone and captured Tia. Discord had that talk with her in the city.
9514395
It's like the original movie. They don't know that. Though I have to as, why do they want to bring a Xenomorph to life?
Am I the only one that is concerned. I'm the A AVP movie we learned a Xenomorph's DNA mixes with the host creating hybrids. With a changling host, will it be able to shapeshift?
What I would have done was, put the facehugger on the changling. Let it fall of. Then let the other changlings "rescue" him , let the creature break out in the hive and destroy the changlings.
Finally drifting off to sleep, Charming Thunder didn't feel the ache in his chest, as his body began to lurch. Suddenly a Chestburster burst from his chest and let out a hiss.