A simple writer with dreams of becoming something greater than himself. He vows to help those in need and be the best he can be. That is Ghost's mission. PM him for just about anything! He won't bite.
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Poetry. Poetry about ponies is what I aim to give you. It can be sappy, or it can be sad. It's simply a collection of poems, all unrelated to one another.
Enjoy the stories of kindness, of laughter, and of the secrets that are hidden behind closed doors. Enjoy a view into the lives of the inhabitants of Equestria, in a completely different way!
AN: Any and all criticism is greatly appreciated!
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WoW! Her voice may be barely above a whisper when she speaks from her lips, but when she speaks from the heart it is as loud as thunder. This was simply beautiful and touching.
.
Another beautiful and deeply touching poem. Don't fret Applejack, you still have your family in Big Mac, Applebloom, and Granny Smith. Makes me wonder what did happen to make her hate her mother and father, but being the Element of Honesty, she is doing the noble thing of keeping it in her heart and between herself, her father, and her mother.
Indeed, Rainbow Dash always gives a great performance, and what better beverage to quench the thirst of an adrenaline rushed moment than a glass of freshly made apple cider.
WoW! Powerful and raw. Left me speechless.
I enjoyed this free-form poetry. I'll give critique when I'm not busy with my own story. Thanks for writing this though, I'll take a look at the others when I get a chance. Have a fave and a thumbs-up.
2494633>>2495009 Many thanks aplenty to both of you! I plan to update this collection as much as possible, and I'm glad you liked the poems! I'm kinda a sucker for deeply personal and/or emotionally charged poems.
But, if there is any way I can improve, please let me know!
Many thanks with love,
-Ghost
2495022 To be honest, I don't see anything you can do to improve your poetry, it is real good as it is. I am a lover and writer of poetry. As long as you write/speak it from your heart it is poetry in my opinion. I can't wait for you do a poem on Spike. I am a big fan of Spike, and I want to see if you write about his inner feeilngs about being left out most of the adventures that the Mane Six go on.
2495771Dude, if it comes to me, I'd write an epic poem about Spike, chronicling a day's worth of adventures when the mane six aren't there, anything from ponies he meets to what he dreams about.
Love your profile pic, by the way. OUAT is a fantastic show!
Alright, this one I thought wasn't quite as good as the first one. I found it a little too 'telly'. I found a couple of lines that didn't show enough of Applejack's character especially her deep connection with her family.
With a line like:
I feel like metaphor could more poignantly describe how AJ feels about her family. Particularly, because it's quite apparent that AJ holds her family nearly paramount to all else. If you found a way to really convey that feeling sharply to the reader I would have loved this particular poem. It wasn't bad by any means though. Onto the next one.
2496140 Well, thank you very much, I truly appreciate that. I am a huge Oncer and a proud Brony!
Can't wait for the new episode tonight. Also i am a huge Evil Regal.
Not sure about the syllables here. Were you aiming for a pattern? They all seem different syllable-wise.
It was this stanza in particular that made me wonder:
It's jarring since it's not following any apparent syllabic pattern. I mean you could probably shift it slightly so they just read better as single lines, like the rest of the poem:
Water quenches my throat,
very cracked and brittle
Serene moisture.
That was neat. I'm also wondering if shipping is implied in this poem of if RD is just being very honest with herself.
It caught the feeling of the Rainboom very well, yet it risked losing the reader in the explanation. I almost felt lost amongst the descriptions, if that makes any sense.
On to the next one.
I loved the idea behind this one. Very experimental.
I did have to stop a moment once I saw that the letters were disappearing. For a second I thought you were just copy-pasting it and forgot one of the letters. And then 5 seconds later, I'm like: 'Of course it was intentional, you doofus!' and face-palmed.
I wonder if it might have worked more effectively to have various anagrams instead of just slipping out the letters. (not saying that it would be better, I just wonder...)
Still I loved knowing where it was headed and seeing it get there. I think this was my favourite so far. Great work!
2497707Wow, thanks for all the feedback! Okay, here we go.
Sentimentality was the start of all of this, and I loved writing it. Not much to say about it.
Beyond the Leaves: Yeah, it's not my best. It's also my least favourite out of all four so far, and I'm not terribly proud if the large middle section. The end I like, with the whole "hat and father honesty" bit. My intent anyway was to tell all the way through, with an extremely small amount of emotional input from AJ herself, until the end when she goes to bed. I'll probably look it over for the fifth time and change much of it. Maybe. I guess it's more of an experiment to how I could tell instead of show. Backwards writing logic, I know, but all of these poems are experiments in a way...
Say Hello: This was written in haiku form, but not necessarily what is considered "traditional" 5-7-5 form, because not all haiku are even like that. The skipping of that stanza was intentional, as, once again, many haiku I've read actually have those odd and nonsensical breaks. Why? Because they can, I guess? This probably sounds like I'm trying to sound smarter than I am. I'll probably edit it anyway, just because. Not sure though. The "I love you" thing at the end wasn't an implication if shipping, although I'm sure most will see it as such. The idea was that Dash loves AJ for the friend she is, not a lover (though I can truly, honestly see where you're coming from).
And finally, Unnamed: This. Poem. I agree, anagrams may make the poem flow differently, give it a different feel. But nevertheless it's my overall favourite.
Experimentation was essentially my goal with this collection. Be they good or not-so good, they're all attempts at many different things. But I appreciate the in-depth review for each one you gave. Very much so. Why else would I respond with such a long message?
I plan on writing more about AJ, but giving it more of a show instead of a tell vibe to it. To, like the Fluttershy one and the Unnamed one, make it emotionally personal. I also have some ideas for Spike, Rarity,and even Discord.
Okay, once again, thanks for all the feedback and taking the time to be in-depth and to actually read all of them. Thank you. No amount of "I believe this is good, this isn't so good" critique could make me more happy. This is simply because since you took the time and made the effort, I am happy. I probably sound like a broken record, but it really does mean a lot.
Aaaannd I'm running outta things to say. Thanks again.
Love always,
-Ghost
Breathtaking poem my friend. A peace that I wish one day would wash over our home, this home where I live in.
Such is the natural order of things. To build up something beautiful and entrust its meaning to the future, hoping that it remains true to its beauty.
I enjoyed this one quite a bit.
2610006>>2611027 Thanks to both of your comments muchly! I feel my writing has improved dramatically, even from a poetic standpoint, as I write better in the afternoon and when I'm calm. Fun fact: I wrote this in school while everyone else around me took final exams! I didn't have to take them!
2611059 The inspirations for poems arrive at the strangest times, and quite often, during a moment which is very contrasting to what the poem is actually about. (At least in my experience when writing them)
The self-sacrifice of Discord. I've always thought it to be something he'd do if the situation was right. It's a decent poem, but I think it might be a little on the clunky side.
2635339 Clunky how, may I ask? In length? Structure? Premise?
This comment has led me to wonder... Would this concept, the mere existence of Discord being around the mane six and simply wreaking havoc on their lives, their friendships, an unstoppable thing, be better as an actual fic? I actually think it would, to be honest. Maybe, in a sense, the failing, however major or minor, depending on your viewpoint of this poem, of this poem could pave the way to a slightly more successful fiction with a similar premise?
I agree that it's decent, but your decent is probably my horrendous.
I'm kinda ashamed of this one, to be honest. The idea is there, but I think the execution failed a bit. Ugh. I was just desperate to put something else out. I don't know. Maybe it was a bad idea to post this one. Thoughts?
2635539 Well, I think it just doesn't flow very well, it''s hard to explain other than when reading it, I feel like the sentences should flow together better. And the word choice just doesn't feel like Discord. It should have more of a mocking tone... like a bitter laughter, where he's laughing at the irony of the situation.
Being a spirit of chaos and yet being given a two simple choices. That's the beauty of the idea. I had a similar idea in my own fic which is why I love the premise behind this one. Still, it was definitely worthwhile to post it. It makes you think, and it provides a lovely idea for a story.
2636083 Once again, my thoughts exactly. Although I believe Discord would lose his "heart" if his only true friends in his thousands-of-years existence were suffering because of him, and even though he tries to be good, he was created, (at least in my headcanon, maybe not so in the show) for simply being disorder and chaos. So his only solution is to sacrifice himself. But that's just me.
Thanks again for all and any feedback you've taken the time to give a nobody such as I. I promise, even though I've been meaning to, to read your works and do the same. We've all got our pitfalls, our misses. It's from those we learn to do better, and to improve.
Beautiful tribute to the awesome and lovable Pinkie Pie!
Aww.. beautifully sad. Rarity, you truly did put your heart and soul into this poem, and I am sure Sweetie Belle would forgive you.
That was super cute
Have a thumbs up!!!!
Cute! I must ask though, shipping? ??
Um, just wondering because I couldn't piece it together but who exactly is this poem about?
Sweeet! Totally see this happening
2918780 Thanks for the comments!
For Say Hello, you could interpret it as shipping, but I see it as "I Love You" in a friendship sense. They love each other as sisters almost, but I left it ambiguous so others could form their own opinion.
Unnamed is just about that: an unnamed pegasus who cannot fly due to illness that is killing him or her. Read it again if you want to see what I mean. Thankies!
Love always and forever,
-Ghost
Poor Rarity I hope Sweetie forgives her
2918921 It is sad, isn't it?
The Discord one was awesome for me to write! I kinda love it! I must ask, how ever did you find little ol' me on this big site??
2918914
Your welcome. I can see both friend shipping and just shipping in Say Hello. Unnamed, yeah sick pegasus makes sense thanks for explaining and i can't wait for more!
2918934
I don't know! Yes, the Discord one was awesome!
2918950 Haha, awesome! Unfortunately, I haven't had any inspiration for the Spike, Twi, and Roseluck ones I wanna do. In the meantime, enjoy sone other stuffs on the site! I wrote a long poem about Luna if you wanna read that, or a romance/drama, or a comedy, along with a sad Trixie fic unlike ANYTHING on the site, and an adventure story of awesomeness yet to be published!
Okay, self promotion over! If you have stories I'd love to read them!
2918985
Can't wait for Spike, even Derpy!
I do have some storys and I will definitely be looking at your other ones too. (awesome self promo haha)
Will she make it?
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/018/7/7/done____dgfk_by_scootaloo24-d5rvsei.png
That is haunting, yet beautiful. A cliffhanger of a poem.
2992129 THE SUSPENSE!
2996297
Are you even going to tell us?
2996529 Ppssshh! Nope! On to the next poem!
*begins typing, laughing maniacally*
3000126
Ha! Knew it
Beautiful my friend as always.
Deep...
Night mare moon or Luna or bot? Serious I'm stumped!
3069061 Maybe it's NEITHER!!??
....
3069477
thinking time
...
3069569 Trust me, it shouldn't be too hard. Well, maaaaybe.
3069627
Twilight?
3069685 DING DING DING!!! WE HAS A WEINER!!
3069688
Sweet
Powerful, raw, and sad!
I can feel Shining Armor feeling this after the wedding and after everything came to realization of what happened during the time.