You seem to have javascript disabled, or your browser is failing to execute it properly. Much of Fimfiction's functionality requires javascript so we suggest you turn it on! If this message goes away after a few seconds, ignore it, javascript support sometimes takes a few seconds to detect.

Featured In23

More Stories7

  • T Solitary Locust

    Twilight casts a spell that leaves her in an alien body, facing a mob of angry ponies...
    110,038 words · 28,023 views  ·  2,509  ·  88 · gore
  • T Cold Lightning

    Something about Lightning Dust just seemed a little 'off'.
    7,105 words · 3,723 views  ·  403  ·  36
  • T Splinterwood

    Twilight Sparkle goes to a conference and talks with some ponies about some numbers.
    8,319 words · 1,300 views  ·  198  ·  17
  • T Thus Dwell in Joy

    What if Discord were God?
    8,718 words · 2,415 views  ·  166  ·  16
  • T What in Equestria is This?

    One-shots under 1000 words. Feel free to give me your own suggestions and requests!
    6,539 words · 1,323 views  ·  195  ·  22
  • T Listen and Learn

    Rainbow Dash comes out to her friends. It does not go as well as she had hoped. Not an über-OOC or lynch mob fic.
    11,057 words · 7,959 views  ·  665  ·  126
  • T Luna’s Communistastical Adventure With the 1959 Soviet Space Probe Luna-2

    Luna meets Luna-2. What will happen in this exciting communistastical adventure?
    3,597 words · 1,087 views  ·  149  ·  28 · sex

Blog Posts41

  • Saturday
    My fists are Him

    Repost of my deleted "My fists are Him" blog from years ago because I think it's a work of art:

    We collectively are the believer in a new order of smarmy lithium-addled cunts whose purpose is to eat and drink, and to shit out the great and better life that's just beyond our fingertips. How we loved to dance in the evening snow, I recollected, and how we did indeed fall from the sky with that snow as if we weren't truly meant for the imperfection that is the earth. Such sadness you affected, such nausea, such nostalgia, and such terror when confronted with a glimpse of the body in the drawing room; that brief flash of understanding that we too would grow old and die, and everything that ever meant anything would rust away. And then we tucked it back in our pockets and went to speak our enlightened words about enlightenment to whoever would listen to our perfection.

    But I am vomit, and so are you. You, like me with you, are a stupid child, who came from stupid parents who did stupid things together. My brain is filled with a stew of vomit and dog food; my thoughts are mashed up like old mangoes, and most importantly this grey stew is full of little wriggling white worms. Slimy little bastards that they are, they jump ship when our most intimate ideals kiss; mine in a most sincere manner imbibed into to your disgusting disease-ridden truth-spitting mouth. And they give you wet dreams and bite you, and sometimes they make you cry a little, and they generally have no impact on your life that's worth noting except that you're full of worms now and they eat our time up faster and faster.

    We deserve, more than we know, what names we call ourselves in moments of false self-pity that really aren't so false deep inside. I myself am a worm with arms who strangles nice things and who are you to say that anything I create is worth indulging? I'm sure if I spent enough time learning I could unfold my arms and loosen my fingers, but I don't really want to. Look at me; what I am. I am a purveyor of pleasurably arranged horse words to an audience of overgrown children who think they're unique for their fascination with talking pastel ponies. I give you what you come here for and you thank me, and then you rub white worms out of your dick as you imagine what life could have been like if it and you weren't such a cumulative waste of oxygen.

    And we're all so jaded that we just can't help but be rude and spit on social conventions, because someone might not get the full truth, the full enlightenment, if we fail to turn the full force of our pitiful life experience on them. We are a collective genius, and my grinding teeth can sound like infinitely worse prose than you could ever bang out, but only when I want them to. Everything I write sincerely to you personally is puke, a regurgitation of earlier poison, that comes from deep in the corners of my brain, and sometimes you seem to enjoy it, and other times you look at me with tired indifference as if you're used to whatever it is that I'm smoking good job you get a gold star now fuck off and let me do my thing.

    It's as if you, my canvas, can speak back to me and say things that I don't really want to hear, and you can open your mouths and eat my time until it's all gone and I'm just a miserable skeleton dying from a lot of needles through my spine. And I'm not the type to leave sentences hanging in the middle of nowhere, so I give you my words as a soup you can ladle right out of my head, which I sometimes remove entirely before speaking. But we're just parasites, and we'll never be anything more. Your love is sewage, and I can't help the nausea when I think of receiving it; let alone when we're together, and my hands are around your neck, and I'm struggling to choke from you what desperate things I've been searching for.

    And my fists are Him, so we're all connected.

    11 comments · 166 views
  • 6d, 2h
    Anyone want to help me draw a comic?

    It's called "Glass Flowers" and it's probably one of the most tearjerking, if simple, ideas for a short story I've ever come up with. But it would only work as a very short comic, and I'm terrible at art and I have no money, so would anyone like to work with me to create it? PM me for details if you're interested. It would only be a couple of panels long, and it need not be particularly intricate.

    10 comments · 181 views
  • 3w, 22h
    Also Frightened, by Regidar

    Hey guys. I'd like to tell you to take a moment to check out Also Frightened by Regidar. It's a very short story about Rumble and Scootaloo that I really liked. Regidar doesn't really write troll stuff anymore, so go enjoy its emotionalness! He's one of the best writers in the entire fandom.

    E Also Frightened

    by Regidar

    Romance Slice of Life

    Scootaloo and Rumble head out from town one night, and head north. To the north, there are hills nopony every goes to. They'll be alone, in the dark stretch of land no one bothered to explore.

    Also, for those who have been wondering, I'm doing a little better. I'll make a blog about it when I have everything together, but I just want you tall to know that I'm really thankful for all the recent support. :heart:

    10 comments · 214 views
  • ...

Lightning Dust wakes up late, to another grey, gloomy day. She's cold and tired, and she's never felt so terrible in her life. But really, all she needs is to get back into a routine, or to see her friends, or to sleep a little bit longer... then she'll be fine.



"Jesus, man."


"I'm sad now. Like.. you don't even know."


First Published
24th Oct 2013
Last Modified
24th Oct 2013
#1 · 56w, 6d ago · 3 · 1 ·

Goddammit, Para.

You keep doing this to me.

And I'm just stupid enough to keep reading... :pinkiesick:

#4 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·

This mood is basically my entire life, but nowhere near to this extent. It seems our tiny insect bodies are full negativity, eh parasprite?

#5 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·

[18:44:25] Selbi: you

[18:44:28] Selbi: god

#6 · 56w, 6d ago · 6 · 1 ·


sometimes we're happy

sometimes we're sad

sometimes we're sadder

#7 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


There's some sad things known to man,

But there ain't too much sadder than

The tears of a clown,

When there's no one around.

#8 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


Good job, man.

#9 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·

Gloomy Everyday

I know that feeling :eeyup:

#10 · 56w, 6d ago · 9 · ·

Fuck you Para, fuck you.

I was happy, I got a A on my Spanish test... by cheating, :moustache:, today was 50 cent hot wings day in the cafeteria... I got 15. Today was a good day.

And then... I read this... and now I'm upset, sad, and I almost felt a tear.  Almost.

That's really commendable, since the only fics that make me cry are one's that have Spike dying. I don't even like Lighting dust! And this will be the only Lighting Dust story in my favs.

#11 · 56w, 6d ago · 3 · ·

"Jesus, man."


#12 · 56w, 6d ago · 5 · ·


I lawled at this.

#13 · 56w, 6d ago · 3 · ·

Goddamn it. This really brightened up my day. Thanks.

#15 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


#16 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·

Damn, this actually made me feel a little sad... Parasprite, what the hell have you done to me?

#17 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


Just some minor alterations to your emotional processing unit.

#18 · 56w, 6d ago · 2 · ·


He'll tell you soon.

A few hours.



Some day.

#19 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


Damn it, I just managed to get it right! :raritycry:

#20 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


He replied.

Your predictions were false.

#21 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


deep down, he knew i would

#22 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


Is he... a prophet!? All this time, the answer to my questions has been lurking here!

#23 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


But what if he was lying to cover up the truth? What if it was too painful (or too hilarious to watch you be sad) to inform you of the truth, and he planned to tell you later? Or tomorrow? Some day?


Look at dat poker face. The small smile, and green beady eyes. You know I'm right.

#24 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


Ditt liv det har inga färger

Din själ den har ingen nyans

Du fullständigt hatar allt som lever

Du vill inte vara här,

Du vill vara någon annastans

Någon annastans

Din passion den är ogenomträngbar

För din vilja att rasera andras liv

Du önskar ingen annan någon glädje

Du drömmer om en värld i flammar

Tellus i brand

Död åt alla - död åt absolut allt

Död åt alla - död åt absolut allt

Död åt alla - död åt absolut allt

Död åt alla - död åt absolut allt

Aldrig har du sett något så vackert

Som när pulsen slutar slå

Aldrig har du skådat sådan skönhet

När pulsen slutar slå

Visst är det vackert vännen

När pulsen slutar slå

Se till att det sker med omnejd

Att pulsen slutar slå

#25 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


Or what if you were wrong? What then, huh?

#26 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


Then Lightning Dust's crushing ennui would be just a minor speed bump on the road of your life. If I were right, then we'd all be doomed.


Yep, we'd be doomed.

#27 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


So the world is cursed to damnation if you're right? Well, at least I know what the cause of the apocalypse is going to be. One day, one day, you're going to get something right, and humanity will suffer for it.

#28 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·



The apocalypse can happen some other time...

You know.


Three weeks from now.


#29 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


The apocalypse cannot happen while I exist, for I will stand before the endless tide of flame in golden spandex, and I will single handedly drive back the the end. It will be glorious.

#31 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


The glory of such an actions doesn't even touch you; what are you, demon?!

#32 · 56w, 6d ago · · 6 ·

Flames- The pain of being a former wonderbolt...:fluttershysad: I know that.

#34 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


how am i supposed to respond to this

#35 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


Then you are nought but another bringer of the end times, I shall vanquish you will the spandex of light!

#37 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


Gah, my eyes... they burn

#38 · 56w, 6d ago · · 7 ·

>>3393252 Amethyst Shadows- If you know the same problem Derpy has.... I has it.:fluttershysad: Despite being a great flier, they didn't trust my impaired vision...

#39 · 56w, 6d ago · 4 · ·


seriously how am i supposed to respond to this


#40 · 56w, 6d ago · · 2 ·

>>3393281 Amethyst- Hell, were you in the wonderbolt academy?:applejackunsure:

#41 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·

Good god.  This hits, dude.

This hit hard.

Well done.

~Skeeter The Lurker

#42 · 56w, 6d ago · 3 · ·

hnnnf :raritydespair:


i can't

Jesus, dude. You keep doing this. Why do you keep doing this.

I don't think I've ever seen depression written so well. So viscerally - enough to feel it. Reminding you of every time you felt like that (although never to Lightning Dust's extent, at least not for me. I don't suffer from depression, but there are days. My inspiration tends to be cyclic, with me being productive for months at a time, then pretty useless for months at a time - during the latter period, I'm prone to being unable to derive satisfaction from things, stress, and moping. I usually drown myself in fic; video games don't help unless they're new and I don't know the story yet.) The hopelessness, the greyness, the lack of satisfaction in anything. Augh. That hurt. Mood = brutalized. And I was just feeling so good about myself for finishing some physics notes. Thanks a lot.

One thing that really impresses me over this - unrelatedly - is that you aren't really confined to your own headcanon when you write. You can write a story about psychotic Lightning Dust - you can write a story about depressed Lightning Dust. You don't limit yourself to your own singular views on how you think things would play out, or on how you see a character. So kudos to that.

So... rock on, parasprite. Keep brutally mauling everyone's feels. We lovehate you for that.

#43 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·

Well done on the non mature feature, man.

(It has yet to hit the mature feature side as of writing this.)

Well done on feature.

~Skeeter The Lurker

#44 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·

Great story Para. An emotional peek into the mind of the severely depressed. Damn fine work as always.

Damn, I feel sad now. I'mma go read something happy and pone pone.

#45 · 56w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

I'm not crying but I think tears are forming in my eyes, I can relate to some moments here. Well done again Para.

#46 · 56w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

The disrepair of her house reflects the state of her soul. Mare needs pillz. Sorry about yours, Para.




Either don't roleplay, or explain that you are. :ajbemused:

#47 · 56w, 6d ago · · 4 ·

>>3393629 Amethyst, a wall-eyed Pegasus, who has a brother in the wonderbolts. Hello there.:twilightsheepish:

#48 · 56w, 6d ago · 3 · ·


Who is Flames?

:pinkiegasp: Oh wait I don't care.

#49 · 56w, 6d ago · 1 · 5 ·

Am I a monster for not getting any feels from this? I mean, it was a good look into the mind of the depressed, but I only get the slightest feel of contempt. According to genetics and physicians, I should be a depressed wreck... I've never felt depressed for more than a few hours every blue moon or so. I simply beat it down with my will until I fall asleep, then I wake up fine. I can't help but feel contempt for those that allow mental issues to overpower their wills.


#50 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·


nah. I didn't expect everyone to enjoy it. Thanks for reading and leaving some feedback!

Login or register to comment