A Blue Leaf

Trixie has suffered much personal grief since her run on Ponyville with the Alicorn Amulet. If she can't forgive herself for what she did, then maybe somepony else can teach her how.

A story written for a contest. Sadly, no editing.

Thanks to my pre-reader and friend, PaulAsaran.
Another thanks to my content checker, Breath of Plagues.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 11 )

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N00813

N00813 #1 · Aug 13th, 2013 · · ·

Sometimes Trixie wonders

Tense change, all of a sudden. Should be:

wondered

Good use of description, although it's a bit telly right now. The story tells us of how little she earns -- consider, perhaps, showing us readers how little she earns by starting the thing off from the end of a performance, and bored audiences walking off?

Skeeter The Lurker

Skeeter The Lurker #2 · Aug 13th, 2013 · · ·

Sadly, no editing.

Said the editor.

Still, enjoyable little story.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Breath of Plagues

Breath of Plagues #3 · Aug 13th, 2013 · · ·

3039917

Sadly, no editing.

...wut?
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4028-Capture.JPG
Also
3039695
What he said. This could be real snazzy if you put the work in to fix it up.

Holo

Holo #4 · Aug 13th, 2013 · · ·

3039695>>3039950
Telly was intentional. I tried to soften it up here and there so it would be somewhat enjoyable but I really like how it came out despite it being like 70% tell.
Also;