This is a silly, sometimes funny, story about Luna, Celestia, Sombra, Discord, Chrysalis, and Nightmare moon, before the show started and it's about how they came to be who they are now, and where they are now. We hope you enjoy
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Luna, the ruler of the moon, the pony nopony seems to understand. Celestia, the princess of the sun, the most loved of the both of them. Nightmare moon, the evil darkness that held Luna for a thousand years, defeated and thrown out of Luna.
Discord, the god of chaos and the one put into stone two times by the elements of harmony. Queen Chrysalis, the queen of the changelings, who wanted to feed her subjects through force, and King Sombra, the evil unicorn who enslaved the crystal ponies for one thousand years. Who exactly are these ponies and how did they come to be? It’s time to find out.
Collab with Slayerbrony. note: The Guardians are not human comedy tag just in case
What do you guys think so far?
2378098
Interesting... Very interesting... It's like the cutie marks of the mane 6 again, they were all related without even realizing it. Or did they realize? Did Celestia and Luna somehow annoy the others... Is that why they became enemies?
Very interesting...
2378708
nothing like that at all! we are just writing and seeing what happenes *shrug* you can also see why they arent human and their isnt a human tag cant you?
P I l l o w n I n j a is gounna getchu
2397080
slayer liked doing sombra with this pillow ninja thing
2397092 i appricate him or her because pillow ninja sombra is. So cute to imagine
2397317
slayer is a guy
Pillow ninja's are gounna getchu creator of this story and thee editor for.making the pillow ninja *is a fluffy colt again* and so.am I!!!
All I can imagine is a sombra pillow pet...
2400053
what is this editor you speak of? that is nonexistent
2400091
thats all i imagined as well
2400973 I'm still gounna getchu pen brush! >:D
2402026
what did i do?! he is still fluffy!
2403171
I think not good sir. *Ahem* Behold! The CKDM-10000! Sparkle Sparkle* igorstshirts.com/blog/conceptrobots/2012/jake_parker/jake_parker_01.jpg
2403171>>2404137
*is watching you attack a clone from her TARDIS.
wow...
they are super fluffy though. *closes door and flies away*
2404728 * all the fluffy ponys explode and a sound is heard saying derp* 2404137 * a demon eats it saying nomnomnomnom*
2418401
nice job man, but you dont seem to realize that i can make copies of the TARDIS and myself, your in the wrong TARDIS
2419652
the TARDIS has its own DNA copier and clone device, thats why its the best machine ever, i think fluttershy took it or something.
come and find us~
when did you become the trolling type?
2419657 *is using magic to scan for it and it points to celestias casle and then uses magic to speak telepathicly to the doctor and brush* "doc if you dare i will call bullshit that youre the real doctor and brush i guess tia has my equipment and is being trollestia" *continues walking towards the train station*
I am amused
2419706
he isnt doing anything to you
2420612
thats good, its supposed to be a little funny
2420896 by dare i ment if he dared saying come and get uss or something its annoying
2421501
ok, well enjoy killing celestia for your copy machine and stuff
2421506 im not going to kill her unless she tries to kill me *i say that to you telepathicly*
2421695
alright nice talking to you *teleports away*
This sounds extreamly close to my family especily the part about the buckets of ice water
2423269
interesting...
Sharky says hi back
2421695
yes, before you say anything, yes in this chapter Sombra doesnt like pillow ninja, that wont last long
Now that i think of it...
Fluffle Puff = Pink Sombra
2403171>>2484880>>2468787>>2378708
how are you liking this so far?
I said I would do a little editing work for you, let's see-
For Chapter 15
Should be a comma between "pranks" and "why"
could change "I am" to "I'm".
forgot a quotation mark at the end.
I suggest putting a comma either before or after jeez, might sound a little better.
Capitalize the first Celestia.
Could change it to "and Celestia as well." it would make more sense
Cold, not colt
That's everything I could find, other then those little bits, great chapter as always.
Here's what I found in 13
should be Celestia, Discord, and Luna
fate, not faith
I don't think you need the 'go'
Two notes for this one
1) change horns to horn's
2) could change "glowing" to just "glow"
Rubbing alcohol is isopropyl alcohol, Liquor is ethyl alcohol, not the same thing.
Not finished yet, I'll finish looking through later.
found a few more in chapter 13
the first quotation mark is reversed, as well as an unneeded space after it.
the second quotation mark is an apostrophe, my guess is the shift key wasn't pressed.
draconequus
disharmonic might work better,as well as changing "harmony sing" to "harmonic singing"
again, draconequus
could add a comma after chuckled, or change it to "chuckled while hugging hugging"
Platinum made it? didn't think she would be willing to get her hooves dirty working in a forge, maybe change it to "She had it made"
you're, not your
cape
see my previous note about Platinum making the armor
Regalia, not regula
maybe change it to they're?
that's, add the apostrophe
"blinked and watched" would make more sense
again, regalia, not regula
along with my previous comment, that's all for Chapter 13.
2562090
me and slayer were fighting over how to say discords species name and how the hell to spell regulia
2484880>>2468787>>2421501
would one of you be so kind as to make a picture of Sombra as pillow ninja? and perhaps a new picture for the story?
For chapter 16-
one's, add the apostrophe
....And that's all I could find, might check back later, see if I could find anything.
But for now, congrats.
Oh cool, I wrote something a lot like this! Except it's more shenanigans and random tomfoolery (teehee, big words XD). Looks good!
2616361
thank you, we were more going for the reason they are like this and how they became and how they were born rather than comedy and funnyness
lol Lauren faust and her husband huh nice job mate
>.> and the plot thickens)
*starts fan*
interesting but where did the black tee come from i wonder
2638760
1 it isnt laughren faust and her husband they are brother and sister
2 where did you get the fan?
3 black tee?? are we talking about a drink?
sombra just became best pony in this story lolm
2638996
pillow ninja~ be sure to check out slayerbrony
BEST LINE EVERRR!!!!!!!
2639047
alright then, im absolutly amazed now
*grabs umbrella as fan spins faster*