Having the power to sense all the love in the whole of Equestria, but how do you deal with it when you fall in love your self. Join Cadence and Twilight as they battle their feelings while trying not to lose their friendship.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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so discord did something good, go figure.....
8732632
My impression is that at first, like you said, celestia didn’t question cadance’s recovery because she was latching onto the first sliver of hope that she could find after such a long time of having felt hopeless, but that after a while celestia’s behavior was more because she was subconsciously tricking herself into believing that nothing was wrong due to the fact that if she were wrong, she would have personally made so many things so much worse(a form of denial if you will). It’s not exactly unreasonable for a person to act that way after that much stress and pain, but it also makes her seem very naive and unreasonable, as well as make her character very unlikable here. It also doesn’t exactly fit well with her whole several thousand years old, super wise/experienced/etc., “god-king” style princess she’s more commonly portrayed as, so she might come off as ooc because of that, but at the same time that’s not necessarily a bad thing since this is a fan fiction. You could potentially explain away the impression of celestia being ooc by explaining that she’s good at dealing with politicians but not at dealing with friends and family or something, but you’d have to make it believable and I can’t see a particular good way to transition into something like that.
While I’ve got your attention(assuming you actually bothered to read through all of this - I know I can get rather long-winded sometimes), I also want to point out a grammatical problem that I’ve noticed. I normally wouldn’t bother for a specific error, but it happened so frequently(at least in the most recent chapter, I don’t remember how much I noticed it in other chapters). Anyway, there were a bunch of times when you used the word, “of” when you should have used the word, “have.” More specifically, you’d write things like , “should of,” “could of,” and, “would of,” when it should have been, “should have,” “could have,” and, “would have.” I assume you were going for the contractions of those sets of words, since those contractions sound almost identical when spoken aloud (at least where I live) to what you actually wrote, but if that is, in fact, the case, then I should tell you that the contractions are written as: “should’ve,” “could’ve,” and, “would’ve.”
8733700
I understand you're point good sir. You're right in your assumption that I see Celestia a little bit differently, but I wouldn't think it was truly ooc for several reasons.
1. You're right that celestia would see that small glimmer of hope and wish to cling to it for as long as she could.
2. You're right that she would be aware that she's making rash decisions but realising too late and therefore continuing to keep herself in denial, as to avoid blame.
3. After the banishment of her sister, Luna. She would have been alone for a very long time and lost that kind of connection with anypony. Cadance arriving was like her having to start all over again, fearful that the same thing might happen, celestia refused to let herself get too close to anypony again.
4. She'd been so used to the mudane routine that had become her life, paper work, ponies coming and leaving, that once cadence, twilight, shining, reaper, spark, reeetro had become a part of it. She wouldn't cope watching all these ponies she cared about lose themselves. She didn't know how to help and she hated the fact that she couldn't.
I think regardless of how long you've lived or how many experiences you've repeated. I imagine that each one would still feel new and different, and the scars and pain they leave behind are just painful. I'm not trying to defend celestia's behaviour but rather, show that even the strongest people can be pushed to breaking points.
And as for the grammar, I don't have a proof reader, despite going to study my masters in creative writing this year. (Ironic I know.) But my style of writing has always been very forward and formal. I think it just mirrors the way that I was raised.
When I was younger I didn't pronounce syllables correctly and would easily slip into mumbled stuttering and began fusing words.
"I cudn't do it." "I shud've done that." My grandma used to tell me off before she finally relented and decided to sent me to etiquette lessons. I went for about four years? And they taught me how to pronounce in full sentences.
"I could not have done that." "I should have done that." It's something that I've carried over into my adult life and my writing, so I apologise if it makes the story harder to read.
Kind Regards
OnTheTrot
8733700
To add onto a point as I am currently re-watching A Canterlott Wedding to help with the story. I'm watching as poor Twilight gets dismissed so easily by her friends and Celestia. I find it hard to believe no pony noticed Cadance's strange behaviour. Shining I'll give a pass because of mind control, but everypony else? Seems that they are just as bad if not more ignorant. I think this is what inspired a large part of this story because I didn't like the fact that everypony was so quick to dismiss Twilight, when those who know her so well probably knew that she wouldn't have done this without a reason. That is all.
Kind Regards
OnTheTrot