Chapter 1.
(AN: Spescial broo hoves 2 Baxle 4 fixng alll teh spelling erras)
Hi my name is Medal Pector'al Biathlon Lula Whinny and I'm a 12-time Junior equestrian Games meddlist (that's how I got my name) with golds in throwing things and golds in galloping and golds in sportsmareship with a mane that reaches my mid-back and icy purple eyes like limpid sweaters and a lot of ponies tell me I look like my dad Dark Demon King Ravenblood Nightblade (AN: but if u think he's cooler than my mom get da hell out of here!?)., I'm not related to Trixie Lulamoon and I'm glad because she's major bucking adopted. I'm an inspector but they still let me compete in the games. I have muscles. I'm also Miss Lovingcup Harshwhinnny's colt, and I live w/ith her for the last seventeen years (I'm sixteen). I'm a jock (in case u couldn't tell) and I wear mostly sweat and awesome. I love gOlds' Gym and I train all my there. For example today I did 50 wife throws with target wedding ring toss, jumped 30 sharks (blue and bala and greate white), stole 40 cakes, and shot a biathlete. I was in the showers after. It was raining outside but also inside until I turned off the weather. A lot of earth ponies stared at me. I magicked a middle finger at them.
"Hey Meddle!" shoulted a voice. I looked up. It was… Princess Twilicorn!
"What's up Sparkles?" I asked.
"Nothing." She said blushing.
But then, I heard my coach who was also my mom call me and I had to go away.
Oh God, why?
I am torn between hysterical laughter and weeping. I had plans to write some existential horror. Now I know what it feels like.
... I lost my eyes.
They are gone. Forever.
Thank you.
I gouged one of my eyes out with a rusty fork the second I saw this.
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Wait, if your eyes are gone, how did you use the keyboard?
Before reading: After reading the description, I immediately down voted. Now that I've read some comments, I'm legitimately curious as to what the hay is this?
AfterInstead of reading it: Holy hell man, I couldn't last one paragraph. You either seriously suck, or this is a seriously well executed trollfic. I'm going to assume the latter for the sake of my faith in humanity as a species.2702965
> I immediately down voted
ow my ego
> I'm legitimately curious as to what the hay is this?
Well I writered sUPR AWESUM fIC for 1st fool Day of Apirl && it wa sso good it got Pony fiction Vaultened!
also this explanes better about My immoral (source fic) xcept they h8d it so tehy r NERDS
Mebbe u liek MiSTerd vertion more???
How am I just now
sufferingreading this?3428206 probobly bcuz u din't reading that utnil now
...What the flying fuck did I just read...?
And why the hell am I laughing so goddamn hard?
~Skeeter The Lurker
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u just red the 2econd most story in westen Litarture. It is only 2econd bcuz it is better than itself so there is 1 fic that beats it.
No flambes plz unless u phlegm the parts Madny wrote!!! Or unless u fleam it 4 beign tOO GOOD. I guess thats ok
Aww shit, "Chronicles of Cassandra", has some competition!
Not enuff ellipses.........,!!!
Jocks r fuckin hosers.
Absholutley needs teh gofficks cuz goffs=good jocks=bad >:[
Purrfect seplling, tho ^_^
Fangs 4 trying, eh?
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omg bbq kthx
u r SOOOOOOOO write,,, down w/ith jokes
From the Pony fiction archive:
Horizon, you are a monster.
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i
…
. . .
disagree
OMG HORIZON DIS IS GOOOOOO SOOD! I cant belief u r so good at riting goffik dialog!!!6666 U must b related 2 Gerard Way!!! ur so lickey bcuz he iz a major effing hottie
btw have u seen mah sweeter?
ur a prep
~so goffik~
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tOO GOFFIK FOR PONEJOMIS
Rarty cries teh cryof my BLAKKKKK SUOL
oh god
oh god
oh god
why
That’s... that’s as many as four tens! And that’s terrible!