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Twilight Sparkle, Celestia and Luna are transported into a strange alternate Equestria, the Land of Always Summer, where the day lasts forever and a terrible queen rules with an iron hoof.
Good gracious, 10,000 whole words? Heheh, well that certainly made for an awesome read! It stretched on at a few points, but with the amount of suspense I was feeling at the thought of Glint actually pulling a double face really helped to hold the suspense heavy and all that. 
Can't wait to see where this here story's going to go! You've been doing a really awesome job so far.
I've been following this story on FF.net since Chapter 1! I can't wait to see what happens when Twilight and Celestia meet their evil counterparts from Eternal Day World. And I wonder, what will Luna's reaction be when she sees an evil version of her sister? So many fun and fantastic ideas to play around with! I'm eagerly awaiting Chapter 5.
Well I've been waiting for this chapter since I started to read this story, just to see what Celestia's reaction to the new world would be. I think you got her spot on, seeing that she will get home the hard way... by going to war. This is going to be epic ~ Celestia's Paladin, Ex Solis et Lunae, Providentia et Prospera
To answer you first point, yes I'd say that was your weakest part of this chapter, the fact that Power Scoop did not only have answers for all her question but was willing to share with someone who was a complete stranger seems a bit far fetched, especially considering the totalitarian nature of this Equestria. With all the suspicions people are liable to have, I think Power Scoop would've been unlikely to be so forthcoming.
I actually liked the mechanism you used to show what Celestia learned on the street. I agree full convo's would've been long and likely boring
Grim Celestia seemed well written, she strikes me as possessing a shrewd intelligence befitting an immortal princess. That said, I'd actually prefer more looks into her psyche, I mean the fact that an alternate her caused this just begs for a look at how she responds not only in actions but emotionally as well. Even for her I think it would be very hard to stay focused and detached.
Oh, hay! New chapter, different site! Very much a DO WANT from me.
So we have Twilight gathering up the Alt versions of her old friends, a theoretical magisist behind bars, and `Tia planning Regicide. ...oh, and Luna wasn't doing so well, eather. AJ being an outlaw was not unexpected. Rarity being a double agent ALSO made sence. Anti-Sparkle was about the only way she COULD have been in a Daymare Sun run universe. That just leaves the fastest flyer on the planet, the Pegasis who acts like an Earth Pony, and the wildcard that is Pinkie Pie. Oh, Pinkie... Will she have reality warping powers? Will she be an assassin for the revolution? Full-on CUPCAKES cerial killer? Stuck in a mental insitution? Hiding in plain sight with a bleached blonde mane, whited out fur, and a pair of realistic looking fake wings? Really, there is just NO END to the different ways to use an Alt-Reality Pinkie Pie.
...and now the long wait for the next chapter. *Sigh*
See, I don't find it that unlikely that a pretty girl could get a drunk, horny idiot to spill some beans, especially if the information isn't exactly on the level of state secrets anyway. The contrived part, to me, is that she found the right idiot so easily. I agree that this wasn't handled as well as it should have been though.
In any case, how Celestia feels about her counterpart is going to be a pretty big part of the story, especially at the end.
Oh, Pinkie's a wild card all right. You're right about that. But alas, I must say no more!
Mmmmm... who wants moooncakes!?
To answer your questions:
no,i dont find it to bothersome to read,maybe shorter chapters and more updates would be better ,but this way you cover a lot and thats at least as good as waiting for more when reading less,and more time means more getting into it and feeling the story
Celestia having taken several levels in badass surely would easily find Twilight if she knew where to look,so wasnt to surprised there.
And Rarity is ,Rarity lol, maybe her job changed but shes still she and thats whats important for Twilight to feel her.Good job,just like with Applejack.
Cant wait for next chapter, sounds like Luna will have a adventure there heh.
I for one love large chapters, so either way is fine with me as long as you can maintain consistent quality.
As for Celestia, She seems fine to me. Not many stories actually have her in a role that does anything(Likely due to her power), yet in this case she has a clear counter and because of that can actually work directly against the antagonist and not instantly win.
Rarity was also done quite well, though I find it odd that Sweetie Belle doesn't exist while others like Big Macintosh and Applebloom do, especially with Twilight directly mentioning the oddities of the counterparts existing despite widely divergent timelines. It sounds like whatever reason you have for keeping them so similar(EoH?) would try and force more similarities. Perhaps an idea for later?(With the problems that entails what with cross generation puppeteering and all)
This story scares me. I don't know why...it's odd. Like that unsettling feeling you get when you KNOW that something is wrong in a bad way and not in a funny way. Like walking across a frozen lake and you can feel the ice lowering beneath your feet even though there's no sound of it cracking.
This is not to say that I'm not enjoying it. It's very good.
To answer the questions:
-Pacing seemed fine to me.
-Chapter length isn't an issue for me either, shorter more frequent updates would be fine but I also find it enjoyable having longer chapters that I can really get engrossed in.
-Yes I think Rarity was showcased well
-Celestia didn't overshadow Rarity but her appearance was a bit abrupt, the pacing for her and Twilight reuniting would've felt better if indeed, you had included the letter in the previous chapter
My hopes going forward:
1. More Twilight and Celestia interaction- For being student and teacher there certainly isn't enough fiction out there just having them do stuff together. Being trapped in a foreign universe together it would be criminal not to show a good deal of interaction.
2. Luna- she hasn't had a chapter yet!
3. I'm hoping Brainy Bright is a fairly minor character going forward- Between Twilight, the rest of the girls, Celestia, and Luna there's a lot of ground to cover. That, and he just doesn't feel all that.....necessary?
1. Twilight and Celestia are both going to be stretched rather thin and won't be spending much time together . However, I do hope to use them for a couple of really significant scenes.
2. You'll be seeing her soon.
3. I understand your concern, but I assure you that Bright is going to have a strong relevance to the overall plot aside from being the main characters' ticket home. At the same time though, he won't be having any more full chapters to himself. Most of his story will be covered by another POV character that hasn't been introduced yet.
Thanks for commenting - and everyone else too!
I love it so far. Definitely putting this on Story Alert.
I did find it a bit odd that Twilight Sparkle referenced a letter she had received that I don't recall reading about, but other than that nothing really struck me as erroneous. I'm looking forward to seeing more of this story, and I wonder what's happened with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. I almost expect one of them to be completely insanely different based on circumstances. Like... "Fluttershy - Imperial Dragon Tamer" the scarred one eyed badass.
I hope the situation back in their home dimsension hasn't deteriorated significantly in their absence. Having the Princesses and Celestia's Apprentice seemingly vaporized or banished to another dimension in a treasonous plot would surely cause a huge uproar. Though on the other hand, it's possible that they'd pop out mere seconds after they'd left and promptly conjure up some chains for everyone who was in on the plot when they return.
10,000 word chapters are fine to me. I don't mind if a story seems winding or meandering or anything. You're not writing a book for publishing, there's no editor who's going to say "Noone will want to read this if it's too long!" or an English teacher sitting there crossing out sentences as "Unnecessary" or "Too verbose." It's totally fine if you have more story to tell and so you just keep writing.
As for Celestia's involvement, it's fine. If anything I would wish she could stick around more, but I do understand her point. Normally it seems like a load of crap when someone refuses to help you for the sake of your own growth or whatever, but in this case, Friendship is an actual power which you can wield into battle against evil forces, and needing time and adventure for it to develop is a serious concern.
My only wish I think would be something that you're doing right anyway and I just wish about the character in general. Twilight Sparkle seems insufficiently confident to me, but it's that way even in canon. She's like the personal apprentice of the Goddess that rules her world and has for thousands of years, and she seems to be widely acknowledged as the third most powerful magical being in the entire world after Celestia and Luna. She doesn't seem to show it much. Arrogance is bad, but it almost seems like once in a while when something stands in her way, she could save time by just blasting it out of the way, or immolating it, or calling down a bolt of thunder and splattering it across the terrain.
I do hope that you do something interesting with the Elements of Harmony. In canon it seems like they were wildly underused. After their introduction, they just get stuffed in a jewelry box or something somewhere and they never really bring them out again, even though they're supposedly artifacts of great power. It seems like they should wear them around more to augment their own powers, or even just as accessories announcing the fact that yes, they are the guardians of truth, justice, and the Equestrian way.
Thanks for posting such a lengthy and thoughtful comment.
The way I'm trying to play it with the alternate universe equivalents of the mane cast is to show them as being quite similar to the originals, and then gradually reveal subtle but significant differences. You might be noticing some hints already. But yes, at least one of them aside from Daylight Sparkle is not going to be what you'd expect.
I'm glad someone brought up the issue that things might not be going too well back home. This will be addressed in the story soon, but for obvious reasons, it won't be a major focus. If there were two or three or me though, I'd definitely also be writing a side-story covering how AJ, Pinkie, Dash, Rarity and Fluttershy deal with political intrigue in Equestria Prime and avert a civil war, or something.
Whether or not there are editors looking over my shoulder doesn't matter, or at least it shouldn't. I still want to do the best possible job, and the fact is that too much detail can easily lead to bad storytelling. One of my favorite book series - and something that has influenced this story as well - is George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire and it's starting to show exactly this problem. I've been as displeased as anyone with how meandering and wasteful its last two books have been, and I want to do my darndest to avoid this problem.
While Celestia is sticking to background machinations for now, don't assume that she isn't going to take center stage to do something really badass eventually. I don't much like how she tends to be useless or insignificant in many fics, so I have great plans for her.
As to the portrayal of Twilight Sparkle, I'm actually quite concerned that I'm not getting across her character very well. She just doesn't seem to show as much personality as she should. Showing her as fairly wary/insecure is more of a calculated decision though. I think it would be bad form from a storytelling perspective to have the protagonist be too self-secure right off the bat, especially when she is a stranger in a strange land and has a lot of dangers and unknown variables to consider. Getting stuck in an alternate universe is quite a daunting prospect, after all.
The Elements of Harmony are mostly just going to be the MacGuffins they always are.
Anyway, thanks again!
This story is fantastic, I did get a feeling some of the story was influenced by Game of Thrones/A song of Ice and Fire. Also I agree with your statements regarding the last two books, they were still good but they sometimes felt like the were waffling or just trying to be filler.
I enjoy your portrayal of the characters, and hope the next chapter might focus on Luna and how she feels with the absence of the Moon, or if she can still feel it's presence swallowed up inside the Sun... along with her Lunar counterpart but I'm getting all silly now and throwing out story ideas left and right 
.
Anyways keep up the good work, I look forward to the next chapter 
Mm, I can't help but agree with you on the worst chapter thing. It's actually quite hard to describe why too... Could be that for half or more of the chapter we are taken out of this war and brought to Luna having no idea where she is with no idea what's going on and doing nothing about it. Although in your defense the remaining half was very well done. You portray Luna's reasons for wanting to take down Daymare well. Eagerly awaiting the next.
I'm a fan of action scenes myself, and it wasn't until I read that you had not liked this chapter that I began to consider the previous chapters in comparison to this one. Perhaps it feels a bit...hollow...because there's less build-up in comparison with the others. Where your other chapters were a walk to a trot, Luna goes from walk to run to a hurricane of anger. Not that I hold it against her, of course. I'd have shown much less restraint than she did.
-
For a bit there, I thought you'd died.
A question that's been buzzing in my mind for a bit: The bears that you mentioned in that earlier chapter (I think it was the first>) when the mirror was still intact, were they the Care Bears?
>>116046 Correction: One sister is doing espionage. The other had war declared on her.
Somepony just got a serious boost to the perk One Mare Army.
I must say that I enjoyed this chapter. It was a bit slower than other chapters, but it wasn't slow-paced. Makes no sense, but I'm saying it anyways. There were a few misspellings here and there, but overlook-able in the long run. Luna needs to use her RCV more often. FUS RO DAH!!!
Can't wait for update! Ivanna see Twi and Day meet. Maybe get some light/light action, eh? Let's see who's the better fighter. And of course, Spike's evil opposite. I wanna see that, too. 
West Lander, signing off.
Yes, how well that emotional evolution works is one of my main concerns with this chapter.
If you like action scenes, you can look forward to the next chapter. I'm hoping to cook up a pretty substantive set piece there.
But anyway, yes, those were Care Bears. It seemed so... fitting. I'm surprised no one's done a crossover (or have they?)
Rest assured, Twilight and Daylight is going to be a big thing eventually. Our heroes will have to work their way up to that though.
Buck yeah, pony time
I "hate" the chapter simply because Luna is a mess in it,but in the end she got a goal and i really hope she wont have more of this self pitty issues that reduce her to a sleep/eat rotation.
Shes probably cant match Evil Celestia head on,but with kicking a whole army around she will hear about Luna...
I wonder if she can shapeshift like her sister and name herself Woona... 
I don't see any problem. I'd actually say this might be my favorite chapter. I had been a bit frustrated and worried about Luna being MIA, and this seems to me like a satisfying turn-around of that situation. She gets back in the story in a big way! Also, I like the way Luna was handled, in terms of the action and her abilities.
The other fun thing is, now Daymare will be alerted and should get involved, instead of merely lurking in the shadows (ironically) of this story. And even though Luna's actions in this chapter may not seem productive, she could actually be quite helpful in distracting Daymare's attention away from the rest of our heroes.
While I agree that this may not have been the "best" chapter is was a very good one. you don't have to have each chapter "better" than the last, Because it will eventually ruin the ongoing story. A "Spacer" chapter is needed to occasionally to make a good great story into one made of pure Epic.
+ Still well written
+ Still interesting
+ Introduces missing PoV
+ Does so almost flawlessly I sure as hay couldn't do better.
+ Errors few in number
- took long to update
Still pumping grad A stories like a boss, please keep it up a wait is often worth it and in this instance i believe it was.
A bit late to the party but... meh:
"...seeing as how she had
always failed to find her place even in her own world." - these have an awkward break between them.
"...painful for most any other living being was was not even an inconvenience to her." - what what?
"...though it was natural enough if she thought about." - "about it" ?
"She didn't come across a single pone on the way until she finally reached Middlehill." - "pony"?
"They were so in tune with each other seemed to understand each other..." - missed a "that they seemed to" ?
"...twitchy movements, her face face contorted into a fearful grimace." - her face has a face? 
*note* Apologies if any of those are false alarms - simply disregard those.
As for the chapter...
I can see how you might see it as your worst chapter so far;
It did feel a bit slow and the way Luna finds out about the realm's history isn't exactly as epic as I imagined.
But I ignored all of that and enjoyed this chapter a lot more then the others for one simple reason - Luna!
Wonder if we'll see her leading the griffon army at some point...
But anyway - cheers for another lovely chapter!
~F~
Urgh, I'm starting to suffer from impatience for the next chapter. I hate when this happens, because I don't want it to be rushed (and therefore also am kind of conflicted about commenting this) but I just am so "pleasehaveanewchapterpleasehaveanewchapterpleasehaveanewchapter"ish. D:
Oh, and please take the hint in the middle and don't let my impatience actually affect your schedule, this is just my release of pent-up emotions regarding this fic. Just take it as a compliment basically. You can expect one of these every month or two based on the impression I've gotten from my own analysis of the subject (admittedly based off of only one example and therefore very unreliable). 
The Rainbow Dash Twilight knew was sleek and lithe, but this one had a gaunt, emancipated look. Not in a million years would she have stood a chance against Applejack in a hoof-wrestling competition, not with her ribs showing through her sides like that.
I believe the word you meant to use is emaciated, not emancipated.
I suppose Twilight will learning more battle magic before facing Daylight? Otherwise the combat magic both can use would need to be fairly limited (to keep Daylight from having too big of an adavantage) and not make for the epic showdown many are likely hoping for.
But having her work up to that point will help keep things interesting.
i wonder if queen celestia have any sort of tracking spell or anything on her elites so she can keep track of their deaths. And i wonder whom the queen will blame, her dead sister, the rebels, Rainbow Dash, or maybe she'll somehow realize it could only be the work of a seriously gifted unicorn.
And yay RBD finally joins the group! Now we just need fluttershy and pinkie pie, whom i have no idea what to even expect from. She *might* like parties but lives in an emotionless and cold society, she's an earth pony so to the common eye "trash", and she cooks for a living... not very much going on for her a the moment it seems. And Flutter is at least a pegasus and could work in medicine, but how hard will it be to convince her to oppose the queen? Also, if they use the elements on the queen will she simply revert to celestia or will she die... i'm intrigued...
"That is a secret, Daylight." He said it loudly, confidently, but his smile was a little weaker now. "It doesn't bother you that you don't know everything, does it?"
"My boss and I have something different in mind. If you come with me, you might even be pleasantly surprised."
"Sorry, my dear, but the battle lines have been drawn and I'm just not inclined to side with you."
Interesting. From what Striker is saying in this chapter, and some of the dialogue from Prime Minister Gelding in chapter 3 (concerning that the 'filly' should not find out about Brainy Bright), I say that something is stirring in this world, even without the dimension travellers.
Maybe Gelding is trying to shift power in Everfree City away from Celestia's new favourite.
A being of chaos could be manipulating things for his release.
Or maybe this world's Luna isn't as gone as most think she is.
Now there is a thought. A fight between the mare of eternal day and the mare of eternal night.
....Or it could mean nothing at all.
(disclaimer: I have no knowledge of where the story is going. This is just speculation on my part.)
Does not have to be 'lessons' as how she gets better is not the important part, she just needs to get better so that the initial difference (because I would think Daylight has been given training for magical combat) in ability is not too great. I could be other encounters where she picks up a few more trick or maybe she spends time working out which spells she already has could be useful.
wonder what will happen with Steven now that the place will be full of Secret police,if they will be investigating the death of 2 of their agents who were sent there.
Yay for Twilight's first combat spell, the guy looked like he was mostly toying with them since he had combat spells ,since Daylight was involved he would probably aim for her thinking of her as the biggest threat.
And the "Im not Daylight" shocked him pretty much so will be interesting to see what is going on in the Secret police, probably some coup planned against Celestia.
I hopped that if Daylight and Twilight are mostly different that they would still be pretty much blindly loyal and trusting towards Celestia,but we will have to see,maybe a sense of right and wrong is urging Daylight to do something.
The way Striker acted towards her i would say he was sure he was on the winning team so with Celestia (being the immortal goddess)
Having her as a unlikely ally would really be a twist (
)
>>232900 Ahhh yes, forgot about Gelding for a moment, it could be him
Can I just say that I really enjoy seeing this sort of speculation? It's nice to see that people put thought into what's going on.
I don't want to give away too much, but I'll say this: the role Steven Magnet has to play in this story isn't over yet. Also, Discord probably won't make an appearance. I planned out the main story before the start of season 2, and I think Discord's too "big" to introduce in a small and insignificant role.
If you put it that way, then yeah, expect Twilight's power level to increase throughout.
>>236771 Meh. Speculative hope. Dash is Loyal. Rarity's being pretty damn Generous (and not whiny at all, so far). Applejack is... well, Applejack. Twilight is herself, and Daylight I can see as being an exact replica, but evil. I expect Fluttershy to turn out to be Psychoshy or Flutterbitch, actually. Flutterrage? Not so much. And, for some reason, I expect Angel to be like a little droid or cyber-bunny. Don't ask me why. I'm crazy(ier than the mare who was barking like a dog).
Liked this chapter. Poor Soarin we hardly knew ye........as in you had a few lines but then you died. Is it weird I'm actually happy to see that someone actually died.....and not just Striker? I guess we'll learn what happened to Steve and Blitz next time.
Also I can watch you on FiM now! Yes!
Can't say I can't see the necessity of dispatching Striker right away, and I can't say I'm not glad that Twilight's secret hasn't gotten out like Luna's did, and I can't say that AJ or RD wouldn't have the motivation necessary, but all the same I was a little shocked. I suspect this'll turn into even more of a grimfic by the time Equestria is saved.
I was dismayed to hear that Daymare Sun has killed the Forgotten Princess. Can our Luna recreate the Moon before she departs, and deliver it into the care of cleansed!Celestia? But that's thinking a little too far ahead.
I'm loving how even in this world the Mane Six are connected. Everypony is their own link in the chain. Er, friendship bracelet?
I'm calling it right now: Pinkie Pie will be found on the rock farm where she grew up, still with straightened hair. 
Can't wait for the next update! I don't often enjoy a flip-flop AU like this, but you have me quite eager to see what happens!
Time for my previously-warned-about repetition of the message "I really really really really really hope the new chapter is coming out soon". I figure this time I'll spare you the details and just leave it at that, despite whatever urge I have to not spare you the details, because you're going to release it when it's ready anyway.
Edit: Also, I just reread chapter 2, and noticed one of those plot holes which is really easy to patch but is kind of annoying while it's there. Specifically, if Twilight could turn the ground below her into water while she was falling (even if she ended up not doing so), why couldn't she use that same spell to create water when she was suffering from dehydration?
Hmm... Good point on that fridge logic. My guess would either be the QUALITY of the water created, or an unavoidable environmental contamination ruining any water she might attempt to make. Also? For all we know, any water she makes would either be absorbed into the ground too fast for her to use, or evaporate faster than her spell can make a usable amount of it. She WAS in a sun-parched slice of Hell, after all. Forgetting that hitting water at Terminal is just as lethal as hitting the ground, there is a chance that even if she HAD tried it, all she would have had to show for it was a little farther to fall.
{Vader Voice} I find your lack of faith disturbing. {/Vader Voice}
This isn't the first time we've had a dry spell with this fic. Ok, so maybe the author hasn't logged onto this site in four weeks. While it IS a bad sign, it is NOT a sufficient reason to declare this fic as abandoned. Until we see the author's obituary, or a year has passed or the like, I think that you are panicking a LITTLE too soon.
...unless you DID read the author's obituary somewhere, in which case, 
GIVE US THE CELESTIA DAMNED LINK! {/Canterlock Voice}
I'm loving this fic.
but now I saddly realise something.
Brainy Bright came first...and he's a 'not-quite-evil' version of my own Clockworx, Earth pony magitechnical engineering genius and Princess Celestia's personal mad scientist.
Wow...that's...kinda creepy...
and now I wonder what'd happen if the two met somehow.....
#1: When's the next chapter coming!?
#2: wa-happun'd with the letters? In chapter 4 she writes her first on-screen letter with Celestia, receives a short response...and sudenly she's had a massivecorrespondence with her that had never been mentioned!
#3: Other plotholes prior mentioned.
all in all, a few plotholes left me confoozled, but I'm loing this fic and I want MOAR
I like the Luna kicking more flank idea.
Hello, everyone. I seem to have turned off my email comment notifications without realizing it, so I didn't realize I was causing worry. So I was actually hoping people had forgotten about this for the time being so I could eventually swoop in with an update and everything would be forgiven. I'll post a more comprehensive apology/explanation with the chapter, but for what it's worth - I'm sorry.
Yes, the next chapter is coming. Soon. In a span of time that's insignificant compared to the previous four months.
On the other hand, it's summer, I just finished university and have nothing on my plate for the foreseeable future. I'll be devoting a fair bit more time to writing from here on out.
I didn't post the name of the last chapter in the last update, so here it is: Overshadowed.
Also, some points of order:
Believe me, Twilight's magic was constantly at the forefront of my mind as I was writing that chapter. I justified the lack of transfiguration spells with the fact that any such magic would cause Twilight to expend too much energy to be worthwhile. She could have had something to drink, but would have been too weakened by the effort to go on. Something like that.
That was intentional. Why wouldn't it be? 
That's a good point... but frankly, I think "turn" is a relatively elegant replacement for "day" in a world where there are none.
1. Soon.
2. Time passes between chapters as the characters travel. Some stuff happens in those periods.
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(Daylight) doesn't know who's she is dealing with. 
I've been following it on fanfiction.net this whole time!
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