The Moon has two sides; the side we see, and the dark side. It moves through the sky in phases; an endless cycle. Luna is no different; she has a side we don't see and she has her own cycle that cannot be broken.
Or can it?
Can a pony sent to watch Luna- and kill her if the Nightmare returned- break the cycle of the Princess? Can she end the torment that Luna must live through every day? What will it take? What will she do?
[[This was an RP between myself and Corporal Fluttershy that we're slowly converting into a story because its sooooo cooooool!
Credit for Luna, Nightmare Moon, and Bright Light go to Corporal Fluttershy. I claim Moon Trot and most of the NPCs of the story. Celestia is split between us.
Credit to 90sigma for the cover art]]
I have to say that I look forward to the coming chapters! I am impressed by the characterization already given to your OC, and your portrayal of Luna is wonderful. Already I am feeling sorry for her; her isolation, her displacement, her longing for the past... while it doesn't strike you over the head as sad, each of them shows a facet of her personality that makes you want to give her a huge hug.
It tugged at me most with her comment on never actually celebrating a birthday, and how enthusiastic she was over the prospect of even one pony wanting to share it with her. 
One final comment - very good job on the use of her archaic speech. It felt genuine while not overly difficult to understand - using speech like that can be exceedingly difficult, and you've done a great job of it.
2251401
Why thank you Remedy ^.^ But all credit for Luna goes to Corporal Fluttershy; I cannot portray Luna a fraction that well
2251401
It's a team effort, but thank you for the compliment, Remedy. I've had a lot of practice at Luna's speech.
This is good! No idea why it doesn't get more attention.
I must commend you as well on your conjugation of Old English (or Equestrian, perhaps?) There is just one thing I noticed. Your use of the word 'Thine'. Having read only the first chapter as of now, I dont know if you've fixed this, but I felt you deserved some constructive criticism. The word 'thine' is an archaic form of the word 'your', analogous as 'thee' is to 'your'. In the case of Luna's syntax, I feel that 'our' would have been appropriate, as right now some of your sentences dont seem to make much sense. I applaud your enthusiasm to keep the Old Ways in use, but some words just dont have a suitably cool alter ego.
Yeah, this is a good story but I do have to say, the use of 'thine' to mean 'our' is really distracting.
2818977
Indeed
Canceled or not, this was good and I hope in some way it may be continued in the future *sigh* at a later date I might even try to take it from where it ended and continue it with your permision