Apples to Apples
It had been a long day for Applejack, working sunrise to nightfall in Sweet Apple Acres. Nothing she hadn’t grown accustomed to, but exhausting nonetheless. The orchards had been bucked clean and the tractor’s piston had been replaced with the part they had special ordered weeks ago. She had even found the time to patch the holes in the roof of the barn, fix the busted water chute, and wrangle up all the critters, placing them in their pens. The list of chores for the day was finally finished and she wrapped it all up as she swept the last of the dust off the patio. A sigh of relief slipped out as her gaze cast outward, over the endless expanse of an orchard. Shadows quickly engulfed the land as the night grew late and a sea of stars twinkled above as a pair shot by. The exhausted mare waved at the passing stars, a wistful smile creeping up on her face. At last, Applejack could finally head inside and get some rest, another day’s work well done.
Applejack stepped back inside her home, trotting through the living room where she found her Granny Smith dozing off before the fire in her rocking chair. The grandmare had been snoring loudly before the now lifeless fireplace, an old family photo album still open in her lap. Applejack chuckled quietly as she trotted up to Granny, taking the old, worn book from her lap. Smiling softly, a single tear trailed down her cheek as she shut the book. She gently set it on a table, tracing the two cutie marks that had been embroidered on it’s cover with her hoof.
A pensive whisper escapes her lips. “The Apple Family...”
Applejack took a blanket from a nearby cushion with her teeth, flicking it open to drape it over Granny Smith. The grandmare let out a loud snort before snuggling into the blanket and resuming her dull snore.
Applejack continued through the house, flicking the lights off in each room and the kitchen, before heading upstairs. She passed McIntosh’s room, lingering for a moment to stare at the hoof-stitched sign that hung on his door. It was roughly the shape of his cutiemark, and had his name in big letters stitched in it courtesy of Applebloom. The precocious filly’s hoofwork wasn’t perfect, but Applejack still found it incredibly sweet of her little sister to spend a day with Granny Smith sewing one for each of them.
It took her a moment to remember that her brother’s room was empty tonight, for now at least. The big lug had finished his day’s work a little early and she had agreed to take on a little extra workload so he could go meet Cheerilee in town. The two seemed to visit each other more regularly now, and even she found it surprising to have the teacher appear on their property asking for him. She figured letting Big Mac meet a mare wasn’t such a bad idea though; it might even get him to open up a little more.
They were family, so they were close in that sense, but they never seemed to really sit down and talk to each other. When they were out in the fields, all that seemed to matter was work, and when they were at home, it was a division of duties between taking care of Granny Smith and taking care of Applebloom. Otherwise, they’d seldom uttered a non-work related word to each other. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her brother or want to get to know him better either. There was just too much to be done every day. If it weren’t for his help, there was no way she’d ever be able to manage the farm too. She loved her brother almost as much as she respected him.
When she was a filly, and Applebloom a foal, Big Mac was the only pony able to do any of the work on the farm. He’d do all the chores, take care of the farm, and take care of Granny Smith and Applebloom while she dragged the cart of produce into the farmers market every day. A few of the other fillies made fun of her accent and for not going to school. She started to resent her lifestyle because of it. She had left home for Manehattan, wishing to become a proper lady, but quickly became homesick after learning how little the lifestyle of the city suited her. The wake of a magnificent Sonic Rainboom, which she later learned was caused by Rainbow Dash, led her back home to Sweet Apple Acres. They had welcomed her home so openly then, even though she hadn’t realized how much harder she had made Mac’s life at the time. As she grew older, she came to understand what the farm and her family meant to her. Big Mac had given it his all just to take of his family when they were young. It’s time he had a little fun of his own.
Applejack continued through the hall, coming to Applebloom’s room. Applebloom’s first venture into sewing was her own room’s sign, and Applejack couldn’t help but chuckle at how messily and disheveled it was sewn. A good effort for her first try, though. She nearly trotted by without noticing the soft glow of a candlelight flickering under the frame of the door, and she would have had it not been for the sound of muffled whimpers slipping just beneath the door and into the hallway. Her ears flicked back as she caught wind of the cries, quickly turning and knocking twice, gently, on the door before pushing it open and stepping in.
“Applebloom, everythin’ okay in here darlin’?” She asked, trotting up to the bed when a single candle danced in defiance of the shadows, illuminating a sobbing cocoon of blankets.
The little filly’s head poked out from the bundle, her eyes red and her cheeks stained from tears. The filly chewed her lip anxiously before throwing herself her big sister. “They’re jus’ so mean at school Applejack. They always make fun a’ my accent and how ah don’t have ma cutie mark!” she cried, occasionally hiccuping.
Applejack wrapped her hooves around the mass of sheets encasing her sister, gently stroking her mane. “There, there Applebloom. They just don’t what they’re talkin’ about. Yer a great filly, an’ if they can’t see it then they don’t deserve ta be yer friend.”
“B-b-but it hurts so much, big sis!” the filly continued to cry into her.
“Ah know, ah know. When ah was yer age, I had the same problems.”
“R-really?” Applebloom finally brought her head away to look at her sister in disbelief.
“Yup! Why, they’d say the nastiest things ta me, because when ah was yer age I didn’t get to go to school.”
“Y-ya didn’t?” The filly sniffled.
“Nah, ah had to help take care a’ the family. You were just a foal an’ Granny Smith was too old. She couldn’t get around much on her hip, ya know? So it was up ta Big Mac an me to take care a y’all.”
“W-when you were ma age? That’s so much work ta do though, sis!”
“Ah know, but we had ta take care a ya. S’not like ya could do it, bein’ a tiny foal ‘n all, so Mac did all the buckin’ while I did all the sellin’ an house chores. As ah got older, ah got more responsibilities, and then ah started to really understand what ma cutie mark meant. It didn’t matter anymore what those nasty fillies were sayin’ to me when ah had ma family to take of.”
“Wow, sis, yer amazin’!” Applebloom burst from the blankets, giving her sister the biggest, hardest hug she could manage. “When ah get older, ah wanna be big an’ strong, just like you. Then ah could help take care ah the family!”
Applejack chuckled sweetly, ruffling her little sister’s mane. “You just focus on gettin’ through school fer now. We’ll worry about all’a that grown up stuff when the time comes.”
Applebloom nodded in agreement, hugging her sister tightly one more time. “Thanks, sis, yer the best!”
“T’ain’t nothin’ AB.” Applejack sighed as she hugged her sister once more. “Now git some sleep. Ya got school tomorrow.”
Applebloom released her grip on her sister, climbing back under the pile of blankets. Applejack tucked her in as she finally settled, nuzzling her cheek before blowing out the candle. Applebloom watched, barely peeking out from under the sheets as Applejack made her way to the door.
“Sis?” the filly squeaked out.
Applejack turned to face her from the doorway. “Yea, AB?”
“Ah love you,” she said, snuggling further into the blankets.
“Ah love you too, Applebloom,” Applejack replied as she trotted back into the hall and slowly shut the door. She hadn’t made it much farther before the soft sounds of a little filly’s snores began to echo into the hallway.
Applejack continued down the hall to the end where the master bedroom, her bedroom, stood. She pushed the door open and flicked the lights on, hanging her lasso and Stetson on a rack by the door. Winona, who had been patiently waiting on her bed for her return, excitedly jumped up and dashed over to her. The small dog jumped repeatedly at her owner, wagging her tail enthusiastically.
“Settle down, Winona!” Applejack chuckled quietly, picking the pup up, who then proceeded to affectionately lick her face. Applejack set her down after she calmed down. “Just let me get ready fer bed first, okay?”
Winona continued to wag and pant excitedly as she followed Applejack around the room. They passed her desk, which was littered with papers and blueprints of farm projects, produce sales, and proposals from the Rich family. A few books, courtesy of Twilight, also lay open containing information about efficient farming and home-made aqueducts.
Wearily, Applejack made her way to the closet. She slid the door open, revealing a small collection of clothes. They mainly consisted of dresses Rarity had sewn for her, including farm gear, but she dug out from a small pile a silky pajama top, pants, and a bonnet. She undid the small tie that kept her mass of a mane in a ponytail, the remainder of it spilling out into long, luscious locks which she tucked under the bonnet. She then slipped on the pajamas, one hoof after another, before sliding the door closed again.
Applejack then made her way towards her bed. She sat upright on the edge, heaving a heavy sigh of relief upon finally being able to put her hooves up. Winona hopped on the bed next to her, readily making herself comfortable and laying down to sleep. Applejack's eyes drooped as she fought to stay awake, but something bothered her. Her eyes scanned the room for the cause until they came upon a tall cabinet that remained slightly open. She got up and approached the cabinet.
The doors creaked open to reveal a plethora of awards, medals, and trophies, most of which were blue or for first place, but the few that weren’t were an eyesore to her otherwise spotless record. Those few were mainly from the Equestria Rodeo Competition, and the competitors were certainly fierce as all getout. She had managed to forgive herself for the whole fiasco not much longer after the town, however, and she kept them now as a means of motivation for next year’s rodeo.
One, however, was not from that competition, and she kept it on a shelf of its own to serve as an even more powerful motivation. Many ponies questioned her judgment in so proudly displaying it, but she knew she needed to see it. The vision of the ribbon was a reminder of exactly what so many others thought of her though, and she worked her hooves to the bone to become something much more than what it declared her. She knew it’d be a hard road to travel, and that some might never change their minds about her, but Applejack firmly believed that one day she’d have her chance to shine. She’d just have to keep working harder until they believed.
Applejack shut the doors of the cabinet, wearily trodding back to her bed. She threw herself onto the mattress, sending the sheets, as well as Winona, bounding upwards slightly before settling again. She shuffled herself under the sheets, turning onto her side, while Winona crawled up, tucking herself within her bed in an attempt to snuggle. Applejack slid her hoof out from beneath the cover and began to gently pat Winona as the small critter dozed off. She, however, lay awake, staring at a small portrait on her nightstand.
“It’s just so hard sometimes. Ah know ah got friends an’ family, but sometimes it just feels like nopony believes in me anymore...” she spoke to the picture in the simple frame.
...
“Twilight’s saved Equestria countless times and is probably the smartest unicorn her age. Ah own a farm. Rainbow Dash is one of the fastest fliers in all ah Equestria and is even recognized by the Wonderbolts. Ah own a farm. Pinkie Pie is loved by all the townsfolk fer her sweets an’ parties always cheerin’ everypony up. Ah own a farm. Rarity is almost world renown for her dresses an creations. She’s even invited ta the most fanciest parties in Canterlot. Ah own a farm. Even Fluttershy is adored by many for her all around kindness and sweetness. Ah own a farm. Heck, when those two Flim Flam brothers rolled inta town, causin’ a whole heep’a trouble, the entire town abandoned me for the sake ah cider and ah almost lost tha farm if t’weren’t fer ma true friends! I thought the townsponies might’a been disappointed in me after the Equestrian Rodeo Competition, but that was just low...”
...
“Ah work hard day-in and day-out, tryin’ to take care ah the farm and family. Ah gotta manage all ma duties and still be a proper big sister to Applebloom. She needs a role model, ya know, but maybe with alla that book learnin’ and engineerin’ she’s so good at she can earn herself a better life? Why, she might even move to tha big city at this rate. Where do ah fit in? How am ah s’posed to be a big sister to ‘er then?”
...
“Maybe ah’m just too serious. That’s why nopony likes me. Ah ain’t got much time for fun an’ games. Ah ain’t smart like Twilight, famous like Dash, fancy like Rares, a crowd pleaser like Pinkie, er cute like Fluttershy. I just got too much ta do. But is it so hard to ask for the ponies to just care about me a lil’ more?
...
“Don’t get me wrong. Ah’m grateful ah got the farm and ma family. I take pride in ma work. Ah just want ta make the Apple Family name proud is all,” she tried to explain to the silent photo.
...
“Ah hope yall’d be proud ah me if ya could see me now...” she said with a sigh as she picked up Winona and turned over, facing away from the picture. “G’night Ma. G’night Pa.”
Slowly, Applejack drifted off to sleep. On the far side of the room, the cabinet’s doors slowly creaked open again. They gradually allowed more and more of the dim light from the night sky to seep into the cabinet, lighting the awards one by one with a soft glow. The doors settled to a rest as just enough light from the twinkling night sky revealed the award that sat alone on it’s own solitary shelf. It was small red ribbon with a tiny medal sitting in the center of a ruffled ring. The silver of the medal cast a bluish sheen against the night sky, only severing the light in it’s engraved letters. They shimmered in their own right.
Second Best Pony
~fin
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- Squeak-anon · 2.3k words · 96 1 · 1.5k views
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Seriously good. Gave me lots of feels, and was a great exploration of Applejack's character.
Aww man...this can't be a one-shot. It has to go on!
You've given Applejack things to consider which may questionably pass through her head from time to time. Maybe she wants to do more than just live on a farm for the rest of her life? Does she have aspirations? Unless she decides to take some sort of initiative, she will probably never leave the farm.
Still, I don't really know why she's comparing herself to her friends, much less why she thinks no one likes her. She has strengths and special talents just like the rest of them, so why worry?
This also makes me wonder what her education level is at. I've seen some interesting fanfiction that delves into it and this story could easy do that, too.
Great job on this! I may keep my eyes peeled on your work!
I really think that this story need to be expanded. It's to good to just finish like this.
2228239
I love that question! "...but does she want more from life?" It is definitely something she considered as a filly, but how well has she swept it under the rug since then? Can she really leave the farm, leaving Big Mac the sole caretaker? Would it force AB into the same life she led, robbing her younger sister of the possibility of an even greater future? Nopony knows...
With friends like the mane six, who are always being heralded as "best pony"s, I'd be hard pressed not to compare myself. When you get older (me not knowing how old you are) sometimes you see your friends achieve amazing things, and it makes you ask yourself, "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm really glad you enjoyed the fic, and hope you also enjoy my other work if you happen to give it a shot in the future. Cheers
!
2229146
Hehe, I'd love to, but I really don't want to take it anywhere from here. I like leaving things up to the readers to ask themselves "why this" and "why that" without the use of plot twist/holes. I'm glad you liked it so much though and I hope it makes you think about AJ, even just a teeny bit more
2228001
.
Props, I talk to you in person, but here is a thank you comment anyways
Really love this story, and I wholeheartedly agree, Applejack needs more attention. Guess some people just aren't too keen on country folk, I dunno.
I'd like to start by saying that you have a distinct talent for description. Even the most mundane tasks are given weight and it all is impactful, sincere, and a pleasure to read. Thank you for writing it and sharing your talent with us. Furthermore, this almost-meta discussion is thought-provoking yet feels incredibly natural, which is another outstanding feat you've put accomplished. Little to nothing feels forced or out of place in the piece, yet the issues aren't lost, the images don't impede, and the world is all the better for its natural treatment. Many kudos to you.
Applejack has always been a bit of an interesting point to me, mostly because of the position the writers put her in the show and what that means for her development. I could probably put a mass dissertation on this, but neither ranting nor attempting to convince anyone of my opinion of Applejack is the purpose of this. Suffice to say that I've always found her motivations, and therefore her episodes and development, lacking. This despite that she's the one I relate to heavily and enjoy watching. This means that seeing and reading things that explore her character more are practically always welcome and I certainly enjoyed reading.
That being said, I had a few issues throughout the story. The first are just a few mechanical things, a misplaced word here or there, a few misspellings. I've included a few examples below, and perhaps when I have some time I'll go through with a bit more fine tooth a comb, however just be warned that as a reader, few things take me out of a story quicker than a misplaced word:
.
Also, mostly early on, the sentences got a little choppy which, for me, interrupted the flow. There's an overabundance of sentences that start with "She (verb)ed". She smiled, she stepped, she waved, she passed, she let out. Now granted, there's only one pony we're following so its not as though we need an identifier, however there are a lot more interesting ways of starting a sentence. Using things like the present participle can be a nice way to break up the pattern (ie Chuckling quietly as she stepped... or Smiling gently, a single tear). By no means am I trying to rewrite your story for you, but read the first 4 paragraphs or so and take note of how many times you start a sentence with "she" and how many times you use "she" overall. I didn't check the number but it certainly seemed like a lot.
As for the content of Applejack's character, for the most part it seemed very in line with the character we see from her in the show. I also have to say that you've got her voicing down fantastically, it all felt absolutely right whenever she was speaking. The self doubts, what ifs, what should I do's, all of these seem like they fit perfectly with her character. The scene with Applebloom in particular was was incredibly touching.
I was going to argue about the medal itself, but I suppose your explanation does enough for it to make sense. You're not writing for my headcanon anyways.
So, at the end, please don't come away from this thinking that I didn't enjoy the story. I did, and immensely so. I can't wait to see some of the other things you do. And, as with everything, these are simply my opinions and nothing more. Feel free to agree with or disregard whatever you wish, though I would say that I hope you will take a few of these things to heart.
I commend you on your work, and I only wish the best going forward.
-Duskrider
2235092
First of all, thank you so much for this amazingly well written and thoughtful comment. It was actually a pleasure to read such a constructive critique! I am still learning how to write in this style (fiction) so any advice really helps.
I'll comb through it again and fix the errors you've pointed out as well as a few of my other readers. I know how jarring a misspelled or misplaced word can be and it really has no place being there. I will also take a look at the "she's" and try to patch some of them too.
I'm really glad you enjoyed the read and that you felt the character was spot on. I really had a lot of worries about her accent or reactions being too overemphasized, but I'm happy they weren't. I really enjoyed writing the Applebloom scene as well, because I feel she has a really strong connection with her sister that isn't always portrayed in the show.
I can say wholeheartedly that I agree with all of your statements and critiques and commend you for being so positive and constructive. This kind of feedback can only help me to become a better writer in the future. Thank you very much
!
2233916
I love AJ so much! I think people just can't relate to her is why, but to me, she is one of the strongest female leads! I adore that type of character, because they set such a good example for everyone, and admittedly, I'm tired of every damsel being in distress or being overly tomboyish just to purvey a masculine personality.
2237180
I'm glad you found it helpful, that's the whole reason I do any of this. You've got a fantastic way with descriptions and I know you're going to do great things. Good luck to you.
Just did a reading of this!
Very nice story, I'm a big fan of AJ, I enjoyed the music aswell
2289144
Thank you for the compliment! I love AJ a lot too~