Growing up under Princess Celestia's wings has caused Twilight's respect and admiration for the ruling alicorn to grow into much more than that, but will Twilight ever have the courage to admit her feelings and overcome the obstacles they may face, or will she keep her feelings suppressed forever. Behind the scenes at the Grand Galloping Gala, she may just find out.
A/N: The second part I ended up adding to the ending in order to cannonize the fic more. Also, I know the opening is different from cannon, I'm aware of that, but it helps adhere to my story more. There is also a slight reference to Aurora's fimfic: Bechdel's Law, with their permission of course. This fic, however, is clop-free.
If you enjoyed this fic, please check out my other works!
Please be gentle, this is my first time ever attempting to write a fanfic and I'm here because I love the MLP community. Remeber, BLT: Bronies Love and Tolerate!(terrible)
Obligatory Disclaimer:
I own neither the cover image nor My Little Ponies (obviously).
Pretty good, although I will state it feels more like a beginning to a story rather then an entire story.
I agree with the previous comment. It really feels like the beginning of a heart-wrenching, and maybe heartwarming story.
But that's still beautiful the way it is
Dude, you NEED to make this longer!
I think this really needs expanding as it seems like more like the beginning of a story and not the end
Consider exploring further.
Thank you everyone for the likes/comments! I honestly didn't expect a reception like this in such a short time
I wrote this all in a relatively short time, and I can understand that a lot of people would like to have it expanded upon, because that was the original concept behind it! Similar to Twilight's feelings, I wanted to leave people wishing they could have more, and while being so close to what they wanted, they might never have it. In short, it's somewhat meant to feel incomplete and the make the reader feel that way too, in hopes of having them relate to it further. I hope you all can understand and that it wasn't confused for lazy writing
I may continue writing others, but i might not ever expand on this. Perhaps I'll reconsider based on what I continue to see in the responses, but for now it will stay as it is
This was really sweet.
I've always really enjoyed the dynamics of the relationship between Celestia and Twilight, and stories exploring it have a habit of easily finding their way into my list of favorites! (Of course, I might be a little biased, heheh. You saw fit to reference my story for a small bit of inspiration, after all, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! I liked the way you interpreted Celestia's actions in my story as those of a caring, almost parental figure.. Aw dangit, now I want to expand on that and write about the two of them, too! What have you done?! 
)
I noticed some minor mistakes - incorrect usage of words here and there (such as 'radiant' in the first paragraph, where I think you wanted 'radiate'), which always creep in and are easily skimmed over by eyes that have read the text many times over already. Finding a proof-reader could help you there, but if you don't want to bother, pretty much the only thing that works is actually leaving the story for a while and coming back to it for one major overhaul before publishing. (Not ideal by a long shot, I know.)
I personally really liked the ending of chapter one. There is an unreachable quality to Celestia, an inherent impossibility to a successful relationship between ancient mentor and starry-eyed pupil, that does make it very likely that Twilight's feelings would remain forever unrequited.. The fact that she could solemnly accept this fact is both sad and admirable. Beautiful, in a way.
So while it's tempting to say I want more, I think it might be hard to do so without betraying the core sentiment of the story. This.. might indeed be enough. And given that this is your first piece of fan-fiction I'd say this is a very promising start! See where else you can find inspiration, and keep writing, please!
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) What I wanted to do was create a romance that would seem plausible too, and have it handled by the characters so well that it felt just as cannon.
Yea! I'm glad you saw that too~ I really loved your story, because of the writing, so I wanted to add in the bit about the balloon and the infamous Wonderbolt. It inspired me a lot, mainly because of how the characters were handled, especially AJ! (AJ's response >
I wish I had caught those little errors and fixed them during my own proof-reading, but i guess I got a bit hasty at 2am and just wanted to wrap it up. Fail on my part
That unreachable quality is exactly what i wanted to create between Twilight and Celestia. I could think of a few more ways I could widen the gap, but it hadn't occurred to me at the time
. I'm gald you were able to understand the story and its sentiment! Maybe I should post an author's note after the second chapter to clarify things for people. Anyways, thanks for all the encouraging comments 
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That's a very clever and powerful motivation for a story. I like it!
Woot! Broke 30 likes, far surpassing my expectations!
Thank you to all the past and future readers of this story, the positive reaction has really meant a lot to me
!!!
Aw, 'nother downvote and no explanation
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Sage advice: listen to people with actual criticisms; ignore downvotes.
(Note to self: listen to your own advice, dammit!)
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haha, seriously
Have ALL my likes!
What is it about Twi shipping I like so much?
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! Glad you enjoyed the read 
~
So many likes! Awesome
I refuse to believe this is the end.
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not sure if good or bad comment
Hits 70 Likes. Is thrilled people are still reading it! th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/094/5/b/sweetie_belle_will_hug_you___by_xxchibirukiaxx-d4uvi4s.png
I thought this was incomplete!!! Oh no, I wanted it to continue…
Well I’ll get what I can get, an amazing story that I really liked.
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!
Sorry but it was a one shot
Check the comment below for somewhat of an author's note
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Oh, but there will be a follow up to the story featuring Luna shortly(i hope)!
good good very good but it needs sequel. I am going to read Moonfall right now
nice one got me hard, thumb up and faved
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! It was just as sad for me writing it too 
thanks
now you've got 90 !
was this "run" meant in a good or bad way ?!
was nice to read, but i still dont get the ending
870631
. It's meant to be taken as what Twi thought was bad(
), but it's just tying everything in to the cannon end of the show. I really didn't do great work on that bit tbh 
AWESOME
100 Likes?!
!!!!!!
That means a lot to me everypony
! I'll keep working hard on my other fic to deliver the same high quality story that everyone will enjoy. See y'all there!
WHO THE BUCK WOULD DISLIKE THIS
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Ah dunno, but parasprites be parasprites /ponyshrug. Glad you enjoyed the story though
110 Likes?! Best. Feeling. EVER
!
Write more!
Write more.... 
this shouldn't just stop like that...
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. I'm really glad you enjoyed the read though and hope you might try my other work as well! 
d'awww, im sorry, but i always decided this to be a one-shot
120 Likes
I can't believe people are still reading/liking this
!
Amazing story, just what I needed at the moment. Thank you.
Nice, very adorable twilestia fic! I'd suggest cleaning up this a bit actually. Nothing crazy, just a few minor grammar or lexical errors. Since it's your first work, giving it a bit of polish might help that first impression.
I liked your exploration of Twilight's feelings for Celestia. Only criticism I have is there's a lot of telling instead of showing happening, but whatever, lol. It's your first story, and an old one at that.
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! I never saw the notice for this comment, but thank you. I'm happy you enjoyed it 
!
Oh, I'm so sorry
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Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it! I wouldn't mind cleaning it sometime, but I also like being able to see all the mistakes I used to make and reflect on older work. Guess I can always just save the original though too
Hehe, yea, I have a tendency to show more than tell a lot
! I've been working on that criticism though, so hopefully it shows later 
.
How can it end like this?! Nooooooooooo!
Good show. Very slice of life-ish. I can definitely see Twilight thinking these things.
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heheh, sorry! It just does
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!
Thanks for the compliment
"radiate"
Needs a capital: Twilight.
Need an "of" after "feelings".
Need a possessive: "Celestia's"
It was so sweet, but a little sad too. Twilight really longs for Celestia.
My heart, my soul, they both ache for twilight in this moment, its hard having a love you know will never be reciprocated~