Shattered
More Than She Could Dream Of
Chapter 5
Shattered
Pinkie kept her eye on the sky as she neared the park. She was slightly anxious as to how their meeting with Rainbow would go—if they met her at all. Given her luck with her other friends that day, she didn’t hold high hopes that Dash would be anywhere near the park.
Still, if they did meet her, Pinkie wanted to make sure it was amiable. The last thing she wanted was for Rainbow to think that showing off Surprise was intended to hurt her. Her mind whirled with what she might say to her friend.
“Well, here we are,” Surprise said, breaking Pinkie out of her pondering. The cloud home was just ahead. The pegasus turned to her marefriend. “Hey, I’m sorry if I was a bit of a pain back there. I guess I can get pretty grumpy too.” She hugged Pinkie briefly.
“It’s okay! I knew you weren’t trying to be nasty!” Pinkie reassured her. In the distance, she saw a cyan shape upon a cloud, with a tiny rainbow curled next to it. There was only one pony that could be. “Hey, look! Rainbow Dash is here!” she exclaimed.
Surprise turned and peered into the distance. “Oh yeah,” she said. She scuffed at the ground with a hoof. “Uh... Pinkie, I was gonna get a couple of things out of my house. Party things, you know? D’you wanna go and see if she wants to talk?”
“...Sure!” Pinkie said. “I’ll be right back!” Surprise fluttered up to her home, and Pinkie bounced away toward the cloud in the distance. As she closed in, she looked up at the fluffy mass. “Hey, Rainbow Dash!”
“Huh?” Rainbow poked her head over the side of the cloud. “Oh, hey Pinkie! What’s up?”
“A lot of things are up! Like the clouds, or the sky, or...”
Dash rubbed the side of her head. “I meant ‘how are you?’” she said with a half-grin. “How did your date go the other day?”
“Really well!” Pinkie said with a gasp. “We liked each other loads! And then we went out for another date the day after, and one today! You should really meet Surprise!”
Rainbow frowned suddenly. “‘Surprise’? Wait, wait, wait, what does this pony look like, Pinkie?”
“She’s a pegasus! She’s white and has a mane just like mine—except it’s yellow—and a cutie mark like mine, too!” Pinkie exclaimed. The corners of her mouth drooped slightly at Dash’s startled expression. “Why? What’s the matter?”
Rainbow scratched the back of her head. “I... used to know a pony just like that in Flight School.”
“You did?! Were you best buddies or something?” Pinkie asked excitedly.
“Eh, no. She was just an acquaintance,” Dash replied slowly. “But... she used to be a bit of a prankster. And not like you or me. She was kind of a troublemaker, always using some magical trick or another. She wasn’t an especially nice pony back then.”
Pinkie’s head shot back, and her eyes went wide. “She is too a nice pony!”
Rainbow shrugged. “I’m not saying she’s not now. I mean, if I met myself at the age I was at Flight School now, I’d probably hate her,” she said with a faint smile. “Ponies change over time. I’m just telling you what I know. She just up and vanished from Flight School one day; I’d be interested to see where she’s been all these years. The story was she got expelled, but a couple of ponies said that one of her magic pranks had gone really wrong for her somehow.”
Pinkie gasped. “You wanna see where she’s been? Well, today’s your lucky day!”
Dash’s jaw dropped. She clenched her eyes shut, and opened them again. “You’re going to introduce her to me?”
The earth pony took a step back. “W-well, yeah, I mean, I’ve shown her to everypony else today! At least, I tried. Would you believe that Twilight and Rarity and Applejack and Fluttershy were all busy when we went to them? And that Fluttershy was too busy to stop and talk to her in the market the other day? Worst luck ever, right?” She let out a nervous giggle.
“Uh huh.”
“At least you’re around, right?” Pinkie asked.
“Yeah...” Rainbow twisted her mouth. “Pinkie, how long have you been seeing this pony?”
“Well, we went out on our first date ooon... Friday!” Pinkie said.
“And it’s Monday,” Rainbow deadpanned.
Pinkie tilted her head to one side and frowned. “Uh... so? I know my days of the week too!”
“Ugh...” Rainbow jumped down from the cloud, landing in front of her. “Pinkie, you’ve been ‘dating’ her for all of four days! And you’re already introducing her to the others?”
“Well, yeah, they’re my friends! Why wouldn’t I want them to know her?” Pinkie said slowly.
Dash took a deep breath, and let it out in a short sigh. “Pinkie, you don’t really know much about relationships, do you?” Pinkie flinched. “I don’t mean it in a nasty way, just... not much in the way of experience, huh?”
“Well, no, but I know plenty about being friends with somepony, and I figured I could just make up the rest as I went along! I mean, your special somepony is your friend, you just smooch them a lot too, right?” A shake of the head from Dash gave her her answer. “Well, what do you mean?”
Rainbow frowned. “Um... look, no offense, Pinkie, but I’m probably the worst pony right now to give you relationship advice.”
Pinkie paused and shrugged, motioning for Rainbow to continue.
Rainbow sighed. “Look, Pinkie, it’s way too soon to be doing this,” she explained. “It’s really early days. You should be spending the time getting to know Surprise and deciding if you really are right for one another.”
Pinkie giggled. “Oh Dashie, you silly filly! We already told each other we want to be special somep—” She frowned suddenly. “Wait, how do you know all this? I thought you said you were the worst pony to give me advice right now!”
Rainbow rubbed the back of her head. “Let’s just say I made that same mistake in the past.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, what I’m saying is, ‘special somepony’ doesn’t mean too much when you’ve only known that pony for a few days.”
“Y-you don’t think that this is going to work out?” Pinkie asked quietly. She bit her lip nervously, frowning.
“I’m not saying it won’t, just that you don’t start up a relationship that quickly. It’s some advice, that’s all. Take it slow! Don’t overwhelm her with affection. We can get to meet her once you two are good and ready.” Rainbow smiled slightly.
Pinkie thought back to Surprise’s reluctance to meet her friends. Was that why? Had she been forcing something on her special somepony without even realising it? “I thought I learned my lesson with Cranky Doodle...” She sighed.
Rainbow put a comforting hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder. “Hey, look, relationships can be hard. Nopony’s expecting you to know exactly what to do.”
“But... why are there all these rules? And why do I have to lie and tell Surprise that I don’t feel she’s super special until later if I think she’s super special right now?” Pinkie stared at the ground. “I don’t get it! Surprise might hate me just because I said something too soon?”
“No, Pinkie. Just... try to understand, this isn’t gonna be like you making friends. It’ll take a long time, and a bit of work, but it’ll all be worth it in the end.”
“‘Time’? ‘A lot of work’?” Pinkie felt her shoulders slump. “Nopony ever said anything about that! I thought the hardest part was asking them if they felt the same way about you! But that’s just the beginning?”
“Well, yeah, but actually having a marefriend more than makes up for it.” Dash’s eyes widened. “Wait, Pinkie, why are you dating Surprise, if thinking about settling down with her is making you sad?”
“She makes me happy!” Pinkie replied.
“And why does she make you happy?” Rainbow asked. Pinkie merely tilted her head. “I mean, is it because you like her, or is it the fact you can say that you have a marefriend now?”
Surprise’s words from earlier rang out in Pinkie’s head. ‘I don’t know if you feel the same way about me now. Like you prefer being seen with me than actually, y’know, being with me.’ “N-no! T-that’s not it at all! Honest!” Her eyes began to well up. “I like her! I do! I-it’s not just because I have a marefriend!”
Rainbow’s eyes flickered downward, and the hoof slid of off her friend’s shoulder. “Pinkie...”
“Y-you’re just jealous, aren’t you? You turned me down, and now some other pony’s dating me, and you don’t like that, do you?” Pinkie said, grinding her hoof in the dirt.
“Is that what this is about? It was all meant to make me feel jealous?” Rainbow asked incredulously. “Do you want me to feel jealous?”
Pinkie remained silent for a moment, before replying, “W-well, no, I didn’t... I mean, you’re my friend, but... but...” She gulped and looked up at Dash wretchedly. “M-maybe there’s a part of me that likes sh-showing off that I have a special somepony...”
Dash rolled her eyes upward in thought, letting out a deep sigh. “Pinkie, maybe... maybe you should tell Surprise about this. I mean, if you’re just dating her for the sake of having a special somepony, it’s not fair on her, is it?”
Pinkie clenched her eyes shut, her head drooping. “But... I thought having a marefriend would make me happy.” She sniffed. “I thought I was happy, until now.”
Rainbow once again placed a foreleg around Pinkie’s shoulders. “Hey, c’mon, this isn’t the Pinkie I know.” She bit her lip. “I’m not saying a marefriend can’t make you happy, and I’m not saying you and Surprise can’t be together. It’s just bad luck that you met her so soon after asking me.”
Pinkie nuzzled Rainbow lightly, and wrapped her own foreleg around the pegasus. “I know... I guess I still have feelings for you. I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
“Pinkie, you don’t have to be sorry, just... content with yourself. That’s the most important thing.” Rainbow broke away from the hug to make eye contact. “You shouldn’t use your marefriend to make you happy about yourself.”
Pinkie shook her head. “What? So, she should make me feel sad or something?”
“Uh, no. Bad wording. Um...” Dash paused a moment. “I dunno. Imagine if you thought it was more important to have lots of friends, rather than who those friends were. The ponies you called your ‘friends’ would just think they were making up numbers, right? They wouldn’t feel that special, would they?”
“Oh! Uh... I guess not...” Pinkie admitted.
“Same thing here. You shouldn’t date somepony just so you can say ‘I have a marefriend’.” Rainbow placed a hoof on each of Pinkie’s shoulders. “So, go on back to Surprise. And talk it out with her.” She grimaced slightly. “Look, I can’t guarantee she’ll take it well. I know it sucks, but like I said, relationships are hard. If you need to talk, I’ll be around for you, ‘kay?” She jumped up, hovering just above the ground.
“Uh... um, sure! I’ll do that! But don’t worry, we’ll make it work! I know we will!” Pinkie scampered off before Dash could say anything else. She didn’t want to hear any more ‘advice’.
“Surprise?” Pinkie paced about nervously beneath her marefriend’s cloud. “Um, Rainbow Dash is busy, so it’s just us, now! That’s good, huh?” She frowned, a pang of anxiety running through her at the lack of response. “Surprise?”
There was a thump behind her, and Pinkie turned around. Surprise had a look of thunder upon her face, purple eyes flashing with anger. Pinkie shuddered at the sight, and the pegasus let out a snort. “‘Busy’, huh?” Surprise growled.
“Y-yeah...” Pinkie took a step back, trembling at the simmering animosity in Surprise. “Um, Surprise, what’s the matter? Y-you’re scaring me...”
“I was wondering what was taking you so long. So, I followed along, and caught you two together.” The pegasus took a step toward Pinkie. “Rainbow Dash isn’t just a friend, is she?”
“What? Of course she is!” Pinkie’s eyes were wide, and she was shaking slightly. What had gotten into Surprise?
“You were hugging her! You said you still had feelings for her!” Surprise raised a hoof angrily. “What the hay, Pinkie?! I thought you said I was your special somepony?”
“You are, Surprise! Rainbow is just a friend!” Pinkie sat upon her haunches, raising her own forehooves in a pacifying gesture.
Surprise frowned, and swished her tail. “Then why did you say that?”
“W-well...” Pinkie rubbed the back of her head. “I asked R-Rainbow if she wanted to be my special somepony, and she said no, that’s all. And then I met you.”
“Hang on. When was this?” Surprise’s expression had softened a little.
“L-last week... the day before I met you...” Pinkie’s heart sank as tears welled up in Surprise’s eyes.
“T-the day a-after?” Surprise stammered out. “P-Pinkie, I thought you really cared... H-how could you?”
“How could I what?” Pinkie asked, aghast. She felt a horrible knot build within her stomach.
“I-I’m just a rebound, aren’t I?” Surprise whispered. “You were feeling lonely, so you jumped on the first pony who would take you, didn’t you?”
Pinkie shook her head rapidly and moved forward, trying to hug Surprise. The pegasus shied away from her, tears streaming down her face. “Surprise, it’s not true! It’s not! I didn’t want to lose my chance with you, so I asked you out on a date! That’s all!”
“P-Pinkie, you didn’t have to ask me on a date there and then...” Surprise muttered. “I could have waited.” She crossed her forehooves. “But no, you just h-happened to ask me right after you met me.”
“That... that’s not right, Surprise! Why would I do that? I wouldn’t hurt you!” Pinkie sank back down, burying her head in her hooves. When she had scrubbed at her eyes, she looked back up at Surprise, who was still staring at the ground, distraught. “I do want to be with you! That’s why I asked you out, and that’s why I took you on dates!” The pegasus stayed silent, causing Pinkie to flap her mouth, trying to think of something else to say. “I... I know it seems wrong, and I’m sorry if I did hurt you. I d-don’t know much about relationships... but I know I wanna be with you.”
Surprise sobbed, and looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes. “You keep saying that, but you don’t act like you mean it!” She sniffed loudly, swinging her gaze away from Pinkie. “You tried to show me off to your friend in the market at the first opportunity, and I’ve spent all day trailing around from one botched introduction to another!” Her wings slumped to her sides, and she let out a huge sigh. “And now I find out you asked out one of your best friends the day before you asked me.”
Pinkie took a step forward, tears streaming down her face. “Surprise... what are you saying?”
Her partner clenched her eyes shut a moment, before making eye contact once more. “I’m saying I wanted to date you because I genuinely liked you. I... I’ve been made fun of all my life, and had to fit myself around other ponies. I thought I’d finally found a kindred spirit, somepony who really liked me for being me...” She sobbed again. “But you? You even admitted—to Rainbow—that a part of you was just happy to show off you had a marefriend... like it didn’t matter which pony it was...”
The earth pony flinched back. Her ears drooped as she felt the reality of the situation crash down upon her. “Surprise... no...”
“This was a mistake. I-I knew it would be...” Surprise let out a remorseful snort, her purple eyes obscured by her tears. “P-Pinkie... I want to believe you. I really do. But I need to think about this. I-I need to take some time... Alone.”
“No... please, Surprise... I want you, I do,” Pinkie reached out with a hoof, but the pegasus shied away.
“L-look... Please, just leave me. I’ll come back. If I can forgive you.”
“If?” Pinkie gave a start as Surprise took off and began to fly away. “Surprise, please! Come back! C-come back...” She trailed off into sobs.
The pegasus turned back as she flew into the distance. “I’m sorry,” she mouthed.
Pinkie ran through the streets of Ponyville, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t care what she shoved out of the way or who asked what was the matter as she dashed past. She wanted nothing more than the sanctuary of her own room right now.
She burst through the door of Sugarcube Corner, running headlong into Mrs. Cake. The portly mare took one look at the sobbing pony in her forehooves, her face scrunching up in concern. “Pinkie! Whatever’s the matter?”
Pinkie blubbered uncontrollably. “She... I... Surprise... we...”
“Oh... oh dear. I’m sorry, Pinkie.” Mrs. Cake smoothed Pinkie’s mane to comfort her.
But Pinkie shoved her away, mortified she was crying in the middle of the bakery. “I wanna be alone!” she cried. She galloped up the stairs, ignoring the protests of Mrs. Cake, and ran through her bedroom door. As soon as she was inside, she bucked the door shut, locked it, and pushed a trunk in front of it for good measure.
She collapsed to her haunches, snivelling, tears and snot running down her muzzle. Her gaze alighted upon the drawer containing her journal. Pinkie walked over and pulled it out. She tossed it down on the bed, and it fell open upon the page for Surprise.
Pinkie glared at it through a veil of tears. She would have slashed it through with a red pen, but a darker feeling burned within her. She’d had enough—all of these secrets and lies a pony apparently needed just to be loved. Why did it matter, as long as she loved that pony back?
She grabbed the journal up and snarled as she tore a lump of pages out of it. “Stupid! Love! Rules!” Pinkie shredded more and more of the paper, photographs and artifacts flying through the air. “Stupid! Ponies!” She stomped on the cover, breaking the spine. “I hate you!” Pinkie caught the remnants of the book in her mouth, ripping it into confetti with her teeth. “I hate all of you!”
Panting heavily, sat in the ruins of her love journal, Pinkie looked down. On the floor, still intact, was the crossed-out photo of Rainbow Dash, and the picture of Surprise and herself. Everything that had gone wrong today. She sobbed once, and her mane and tail collapsed into depressed straightness. She swept the pictures back into the drawer and burst into tears, still unable to believe quite what had befallen her.
Pinkie fell across her bed and curled up into a ball, shutting out her surroundings to cry herself to sleep. She was alone.
Completely alone.
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Poor Pinkie. Her childish view of love cost her. She probably would have been fine being Surprise's friend if she weren't looking for love, but she wanted it so bad it became purely materialistic. Her breakdown was painfully in character, too, and she's just mature enough to see how bad she messed up
...Whelp, looks like that trumps the whole "Surprise is part of Pinkie's imagination" theory!
Poor Pinkie... 
As for the chapter... well...
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/051/707/Manlytears1.jpg
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aww poor Pinkie Pie.
2501894
Umm.. No, no it doesn't. Surprise reacted exactly how Rainbow said she would. She could still be a part of Pinkie's mind or...
the ghost of Surprise from Rainbow's flight camp who accidentally blew herself up with a prank firework. Or she is real. Author is trying real hard to keep us guessing. Not going to say which side I am on, but I am sure I am right.
And Rainbow giving actual, cogent advice?! Color me surprised!. You see what I did there...'surprised'. Get it? :D
Naah, it's still likely that "Surprise" is Pinkie's Tyler Durden.
2502160
Meh, I actually don't know for sure. It just seemed that was hinted from Dash actually recognizing Surprise from flight camp; though, the "Surprise is a ghost" idea is pretty interesting, too. I must say, also, that the whole deal with Pinkie's friends (all "coincidentally" not being able to meet Surprise) is waving a red flag at me. The cover image also glares of a hint... or three...
...Or what if Surprise is a changeling!?
(Oh, theories are just so much fun!
)
2502713
I'm Pinkie's, complete lack of surprise.
Get it? Get what I did there?
2503210
Mutated mirror pool Pinkie who got away.
I was warned by the Sad tag...And to all of you making puns, Shut up Carlos! Go back to Magic School Bus! Or /mlp/ where I can yell the words I want to.
Good sad chapter. Makes you wonder if you yourself are grown up enough for the relationship you envision. Hug Pinkie?
Much love for Pinkie's views on relationships. It's so... forthright, and uncomplicated. Like pony? Tell pony. No silly games or evasions. It's a very Pinkie outlook. And anything that sets Pinkie's thinking apart from normal people's has my stamp of approval. Which I know you're surely waiting for, on the edge of you seat.
Not sure if Dash would use the word 'content' though. Doesn't seem like ol' Dashie to get down to expressing that level of granularity of feeling. But hey, if that's the biggest criticism, then you're doing great!
Anyway, I liked the Surprise-meeting-dodge in this chapter more than the previous. Felt more natural. Probably do to the lack of coincidence.
Pinkie tearing apart the scrapbook was a nice moment. I liked it. It fit well with the tone. Our pretty pink party pony is positively percolating with pent-up frustration, by now. It was bound to explode eventually.
I also like the way Surprise essentially entirely echoed what Dash said. Dash mentions a dark past? Suddenly Surprise is talking about being teased her whole life. She talks about using Surprise as a rebound. Suddenly Surprise heard the talk, and is paranoid about being the rebound. To say nothing of freaking out, and putting Pinkie on the defensive, saving her from having to face the prospect of confronting the problem herself, thus keeping herself from being the 'bad guy'.
Or maybe she's real and you're just screwing with us! (Though still doubting it.)
Either way though, I'm eager for more. One way or the other, I'm finding myself eagerly following along with this story, quite enjoying the anticipation of the big reveal.
...Well.
I'm glad Surprise doesn't seem to be some kind of fake--that would/could have been rather interesting, but I quite prefer it this way. Even with the drama and all--working things out properly with Surprise is a possibility, and I like that. Though apparently, Pinkie has something else to deal with first...
Really looking forward to seeing more of this.
Well... uh...
...damn.
I know that feel....I know that feel so hard....BUT thank God I found the girl I have now.
Keep it up my bruddah
google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=rJCdwWScVpwCUM&tbnid=j623SQOGVbFv0M:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neogaf.com%2Fforum%2Fshowthread.php%3Fp%3D43012827&ei=5uqiUYSFIozi8gSDoYDYCQ&bvm=bv.47008514,d.eWU&psig=AFQjCNFt05yldple6V54CC_S83LsKn9OBg&ust=1369717676406146
And thus, the Pinkamena Rises.
A sad Pinkie makes me sad