Explanations
More Than She Could Dream Of
Chapter 9
Explanations
Pinkie hopped around the party room, anxiously making last-minute checks to the venue. In the end, Surprise had ceded to her judgement, letting her decorate the room as she saw fit.
She had done so, but in the process, a few of the touches Pinkie had imagined Surprise would add had found their way in nonetheless. The banner was hung from corner to corner and bunches of three balloons were strewn about, some groups of yellow and blue and some of purple alone. As with any other party, punch and games were laying about and a record chock full of cheerful music was ready in the gramophone.
A faint sigh left her lips. Right now, Pinkie wanted nothing more than for her marefriend to be beside her, but Surprise had talked her into making the event a... well, a surprise party. The pegasus would hide away in the clouds until all of the invitees had arrived, then fly down and knock on the door to make her entrance. She had to admit, it would be rather spectacular and would save awkwardly introducing her marefriend to each of the others individually.
Still, the enforced isolation was causing the seed of anxiety planted by her Pinkie Sense to sprout yet further, leaving the earth pony on edge. Nothing could really go wrong, could it? Not now... Pinkie was jolted out of her introspection by a sudden knock at the door. She walked over and opened it, to see Applejack and Fluttershy.
“Oh! Hey, guys. You came a little early!” Pinkie said.
Applejack grinned, rubbing the back of her neck. “Yeah, Flutters and Ah were passin’ through town together. We figured we’d turn up now.” She craned her neck around Pinkie, looking into the room. “So, is Surprise around, or...?”
Pinkie shook her head. “She’ll be coming once everypony’s here! She wanted it to be a surprise!” She giggled nervously. “Besides, you two have met Surprise before!”
Fluttershy and Applejack shared a glance with frozen grins. “Well, y’know...” AJ said.
“Just in passing,” Fluttershy offered.
“We don’t really know her yet, hun,” Applejack continued. “Ah’m lookin’ forward to meetin’ her properly, though.” She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Is there anythin’ we can help with, sugarcube? While we’re here?”
Fluttershy nodded. “If there was something I could do to make up for being rude at the market...” She grimaced slightly. “I’m sorry; I don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s fine, Fluttershy! Really,” Pinkie replied. She relented as the pegasus hid her face behind her long pink mane. “Well, if it’d make you feel any better, there’s some snacks in the kitchen I was gonna bring in...”
“Then leave it to us!” Applejack said. Pinkie stood aside and the other two ponies walked through into the kitchen. She paced about awkwardly, listening to her friends moving about in the other room. She pressed her ear against the door.
For a moment, there came nothing but the clinking of crockery. Then, Fluttershy murmured, “I just don’t know how to deal with this, Applejack.”
“Look, it’ll be fine, sugarcube. Just put on a brave face! It wasn’t so bad when Ah talked to her yesterday,” AJ said, trying her best to sound reassuring.
“I just hope I didn’t cause too much trouble when we were at the market...”
“‘Course not!” Applejack reassured her. Pinkie pulled away from the door. Fluttershy was nervous about being introduced to Surprise? All because of that one little meeting? She didn’t need to worry! Pinkie was about to push open the door to reassure her friend, when she realised she shouldn’t have been listening in the first place. Never mind; she would make extra sure that Fluttershy would have a good time!
Her ears perked up as the door creaked behind her. Pinkie turned around to see Rarity, Twilight and Rainbow all poking their heads through the frame. “Hey, Pinkie!” said Dash. “The party hasn’t started without us, has it?”
“Nope! Applejack and Fluttershy are already here and Surprise will be here soon,” Pinkie replied. “C’mon in!”
“Oh... where is Surprise, then?” Twilight asked as the trio entered the room.
“Well, she wanted to meet you all at once!” Pinkie said. “Now that you’re all here, she’ll be here any moment.”
Her friends pacified, Pinkie set about being a good host, as always. Applejack and Fluttershy brought out the snacks from the kitchen, much to the delight of everypony there. After a couple of minutes, Pinkie nudged the needle into position onto the gramophone, starting up the music. “Anypony wanna dance?” They obliged, but a set of frozen half-smiles told her this wasn’t quite what the others had thought the party was going to be like.
A few moments became five minutes, then a quarter of an hour. Pinkie stood by the table of cakes, but her appetite had vanished as her stomach twisted itself into a burning knot of anxiety. This couldn’t be it, could it? The unexpected thing being Surprise not turning up? No... Her marefriend would never betray her like that!
“...Hey, Pinkie?” She shook herself out of her stupour as Rainbow nudged her. “You alright? You kinda zoned out for a moment there.”
“I’m fine! Just fine! Everything’s fine,” Pinkie reassured her. Her eyes flickered to the clock. “Don’t you worry about a thing.”
“I... wasn’t,” Rainbow said, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t sweat it about Surprise, okay? I’m sure she’s got her reasons for being a bit late.”
“But she—I mean, why would—”
“Look at it this way. Surprise would be crazy to pass up a pony as awesome as you!” Dash said, placing a forehoof around Pinkie’s shoulders. “I know all kinds of nasty ideas go through your head when somepony you know is acting strange,” she continued in a quieter tone. “But—listen—don’t take this the wrong way. You’ll go crazy with worry and then it’ll turn out to be nothing!”
Pinkie hesitated for a moment, before the corners of her mouth curled upward. “Y-yeah! Sure. It’s probably nothing to worry about. Heh. Thanks, Dashie.” She returned to the party proper, wearing a mask and going through the motions of any of her other festivities while she gradually curled up and withered inside.
After the clock counted off the fiftieth agonising minute since the last of the guests had arrived, Rarity finally turned to Pinkie and asked her the question she’d been dreading. “Um... darling, not meaning to be rude, but when do you suppose Surprise will be arriving?” The unicorn bit her lip. “We can’t wait to meet her, you see!”
“She... she’ll be here soon,” Pinkie said, doubting the words the second they left her mouth. “I mean, she has to come, right? This is her party...” She trembled slightly as she looked into the dubious gazes of her friends.
“Pinkie... we wouldn't blame you if that’s the case,” Twilight said quietly.
“‘Blaming me’?” Oh, no no no. There’s no need for that!” Pinkie babbled, a nervous giggle escaping her lips. “It’s not like Surprise would cancel on me like this, at a party I threw for her, right when we just made up!”
Twilight bit her bottom lip. “I meant you—”
“She’s real, Twilight! What, do you think I’ve made this all up because I was lonely and really, really, really wanted a marefriend?!” Pinkie snapped. Her gaze whipped up to Applejack and Fluttershy, who were by the punch bowl. “You guys saw Surprise, didn’t you?” the pink pony demanded. She pointed at Twilight. “Tell her!”
The other two ponies blinked in shock, before Fluttershy stammered out a response. “W-well, y-you know I was very busy in the market that day...” Her ears flattened against her head. “B-but I’m sure I saw her! And you looked very happy!”
Pinkie shook her head and stared at Applejack. “Come on, Applejack! You saw Surprise—you talked to her and everything!”
Applejack sighed and took her hat in the crook of her ankle. “Look, Pinkie, Ah don’t appreciate bein’ used this way...” She stared straight into Pinkie’s eyes. “And, for what it’s worth—” She was cut off by an exasperated sigh from the pink pony.
“Never mind! I have a photograph of me and Surprise upstairs! You’ll see.” Pinkie dashed up the stairs to her bedroom before Twilight could reply. She yanked open the drawer and began rooting through the various scraps within. Her hoof found the picture of Rainbow Dash from her journal first, still slashed through with a line of red ink. Pinkie regarded it in silence for a second, pursing her lips. Then, with a small sigh, she set it aside, continuing her search.
After a moment, Pinkie gave a cry of triumph as she found the photo Featherweight had taken in the market. There she was: Surprise, hugging her, the two of them beaming out of the picture. She grinned fiercely and skipped back down the steps, clutching it in the crook of her ankle. “Found it!” she sang.
By now, the rest of her friends were looking rather uncomfortable, with Twilight’s cheeks flushed a deep red. “L-look, Pinkie, I wasn’t accusing you of making Surprise up, I jus—”
Pinkie waved her forehoof. “It’s okay! I wanted you to see this photo anyway. Here!” She thrust the picture under Twilight’s nose.
Twilight took a step back, her head recoiling slightly as she regarded the photograph. Her eyes widened as she gazed at it. “Oh, Pinkie...” She trailed off as a knock came at the door.
Pinkie gasped and jumped a foot into the air. “She’s here!” the earth pony exclaimed. She dashed out of the party room and to the front door and yanked it open to reveal Surprise.
“Hey, Pinki—guggh!” Surprise’s greeting was terminated by Pinkie flinging her forelegs around her and hugging her extemely tightly.
“Where have you been?!” Pinkie squeaked. “I was so worried...” She felt a kiss against her forehead and looked up at her marefriend.
“I was... well...” Surprise blushed slightly. “I needed to get something. Between me leaving and coming back, the last of your friends must’ve arrived. I waited a while, but I came down after I figured they must have turned up by now.” She sighed quietly. “I’m so sorry if I made you worry. I’m here now.”
Pinkie paused for a moment, then shook her head. “No, no, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. Although, what was so super-duper important you had to go and get it just now?”
Surprise smiled and reached back to pull out a small box she had secreted under her wing. “Well, I thought I would thank you for everything so far, Pinkie,” she said. “Your enthusiasm, your forgiveness... everything. You’ve been wonderful. I wanted to get you a gift to show how much I appreciate you.” The pegasus gave her marefriend the container.
Pinkie pushed open the box and gasped as she saw what was inside: a necklace of fine silver chain. Dangling from the centre were two charms, each shaped like a bunch of balloons. Pieces of coloured glass has been set in them, so that one matched Surprise’s cutie mark and the other Pinkie’s. “Oh... oh, Surprise...” she murmured.
“Do you like it?” Surprise asked, raising herself up onto the tips of her hooves, fluttering the tips of her wings to stay upright.
A pink hoof prodded at the necklace. “I love it,” Pinkie said quietly. She looked up into Surprise’s anxious gaze and kissed her. “Thank you so much! It’s amazing!” the earth pony exclaimed. She pulled the piece of jewellery out of the box and put it around her neck, gazing down at the cutie mark gems in pride. “Now, c’mon inside. I’ve got a lot of introducing to do.”
Surprise grinned at her. “Sure thing! I’m so excited for this,” she said, kissing Pinkie back on the cheek.
“Uh... Pinkie? You okay?” Rainbow asked. The five friends had walked through from the party room back to the front parlour and were gathered in a group behind Pinkie.
The earth pony turned around to face her friends and smiled. “Oh! Right on cue. This is Surprise, everypony!” she said, stepping to one side and pointing to her marefriend. Her grin faded slightly as the other five ponies gave her a blank look. “C’mon, guys, what’s the matter?”
“Uh...” Rarity said.
“Um...” Fluttershy offered.
“Wh... where is she?” Rainbow asked.
A halting giggle left Pinkie’s mouth, her face frozen in a smile. “Are you playing a prank on me, Dashie?” she asked jovially. When the faces in front of her refused to change their expressions, the earth pony began to frown. “This isn’t funny, guys! Look, she’s right here!” She flapped a hoof at the doorway. There was only silence behind her. “Surprise?”
“Oh... oh, no...” Surprise whimpered. Tears sprang up in her eyes and she took a step back. “P-please don’t look at me, Pinkie!” she exclaimed.
Pinkie squeezed her eyes shut. “I won’t!” she promised, confusion roiling in her stomach. She turned her head back to her friends and opened her eyes once more. Tears blurred her vision as she looked at the gathered ponies. “Guys... please, stop it. This prank isn’t funny any more! You’re scaring me!” the earth pony begged them.
“Pinkie, we’re not pranking you. I promise you,” Twilight reassured her. “We’re just really, really confused right now.” She took a step forward, concern in her eyes. “What’s going on?”
“I... I-I don’t know...” Pinkie whimpered. She scrunched her eyes shut again. “Surprise... I don’t understand.”
“N-No, I wouldn’t expect you to...” came the voice of Surprise from behind her. The pegasus let out a huge sigh as Pinkie gazed up at her, tears flowing from her purple eyes. “I’m so sorry, Pinkie. This is all my fault... I shouldn’t have lied to you, and I shouldn’t have assumed this would work...”
Pinkie frowned, grinding her forehoof into the floor in anxiety. “W-What do you mean? You lied to me? What isn’t working?” Her head swung back and forth between her marefriend and her friends. “Why can’t they see you?”
Surprise just cringed and shook her head. “Pinkie, I’m sorry,” was all she seemed able to say.
Giving up on getting an explanation out of Surprise for now, Pinkie turned to the one pony who could offer her solace. “Applejack, you must know what’s going on!” she pleaded. “Why can’t you see her now? You talked to Surprise just yesterday!” The farmer’s eyes widened and her ears flattened against her head. “Tell them! Tell them you saw her. I’m not crazy! I’m NOT!” She huffed, taking great, ragged breaths to try and calm herself down. “I’m not...”
Applejack blinked, shrinking away slightly from the curious gazes of her friends. She clutched her hat against her chest, mouth twisting as she stared at the floor. “Sugarcube, Ah don’t know what Ah saw...” She looked up at Pinkie’s tearful face and her expression softened. “Look, Pinkie, Ah can’t see Surprise now. If she’s there, only you can see her. But Ah do know Ah talked to her the other day. She was there, plain as can be. Ah don’t know what kinda doo-hickery’s goin’ on here, but Ah believe ya. Ah don’t think there’s anythin’ wrong with yer head.”
There was a momentary pause, then the other four ponies nodded, a chorus of “Yeah,” and “I believe you, too,” emanating from them.
Pinkie smiled weakly. “Th-thanks, guys,” she murmured. She looked back to Surprise, who was biting her bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood. “But, I still don’t get it. What’s going on?”
“I... I suppose this was going to happen eventually,” Surprise said bitterly. “It’s happened every other time. I shouldn’t have thought this would be any different.”
The earth pony’s ears perked up. “‘Every other time’? You mean you’re real? Y-you’re not just in my head?” Pinkie wiped away her tears. “B-Because if you’re Madame le Flour, or... or Rocky, but different, just tell me.”
“No. I’m real, Pinkie. I’m real and I love you,” Surprise said firmly. “I’ve known so many ponies and I’ve said ‘I love you’ more times than I can count. But last night? Last night was the first time I’ve said it and meant it. I promise you.”
Pinkie blinked rapidly, trying to process the confession. “W-well, I...” Despite the situation, she couldn’t help but smile at Surprise’s adamant expression. She was loved, no matter what. “What’s the matter, then? Why can’t my friends see you? What’s gone wrong?”
Surprise looked at the floor, her wings slumping. There was a pregnant pause. “I’m real, b-but I’m not really here.” She frowned, struggling to articulate her explanation. “I’m... connected to you; that’s why you can see me. But only you; it’s the love we share. I’m not a pony; I’m some kind of... spirit, I guess.”
“A spirit? And I can see you because of love?” Pinkie asked. Her marefriend nodded miserably and the earth pony felt a pang of realisation as she remembered Twilight’s rant. “A love spirit?”
“Love spirit?” Twilight asked. Pinkie turned back to her friend, who now looked more curious than worried. “That’s... interesting.” The earth pony nodded and then blanched as Twilight raised a hoof to her lips.
“Twilight? What’s wrong? What did the book say?” Pinkie asked.
Twilight shook her head. “Pinkie, I told you, the book was so vague, it was useless as a referen—”
“What. Did. The book. Say?” Pinkie demanded.
“The book said... well...” Twilight bit her lip, pausing for a moment to find the words she needed. “It said spirits need a... suspension of disbelief. Isolation from reality. And now we’re all here...”
Pinkie felt her knees go weak. “No! No no no. I’m not disbelieving! Surprise is real. She’s right here!” She gestured at the door. “It’s fine! I know she’s real, so everything’s fine. Right?” she babbled. She looked back and forth between her marefriend and her. “Right?!” The earth pony jumped as she felt a hoof touch her shoulder.
“She’s right, Pinkie,” Surprise whispered, her face wet with tears. “Every time this happens... My lover realises I’m not really there, and then I’m torn away from them, to somepony else.”
“But... but...” Pinkie’s mouth flapped as she desperately sought a solution. “You love me. And I love you! Isn’t that all you need? Why would you leave me?” She let out a single sob. “Why can’t you come back to me?”
“They... they reset,” Twilight murmured. “After each iteration.” Her eyes shone with horror and pain, the look of a pony committed to giving the truth, no matter how bad it hurt.
“Yeah,” Surprise said sadly. “Every time... eventually, the pony I was with would find out what I was.” She sighed and dropped her gaze to the floor. “And I couldn’t come back to them. Every time, I was... erased. Nearly everything about me—my memories, my personality, my appearance—was destroyed and replaced by something else. I became a new pony every time I moved on. And then I was moulded to the ideal form of the pony I was next drawn to.”
Pinkie’s head jerked back. “What? I didn’t ‘mould’ you; I didn’t do anything! You were just there in the park!” she insisted.
Surprise nodded. “I know. You weren’t to blame. I’m just drawn to ponies who are lonely and looking for love,” she explained. “And you? You were crying out for it... I was drawn to you like a moth to a flame.” The pegasus’ mouth twitched in sympathy. “And I came to you. But something happened this time that’s never happened before.”
“R-Really?” Pinkie asked. “I’m... special to you? Even if there’s been heaps and heaps of ponies you’ve gone to?”
“Yeah...” The pegasus looked up, beyond Pinkie to Rainbow Dash, who was simply staring in confusion. “Way back when, I was at Flight School at the same as Rainbow. And I was a prankster.” She sniffed and rubbed her eyes. “I just wanted attention... I never made many friends, and the idea of getting a date for the passing-out prom, heh...” Surprise grimaced. “I got my hooves on some magical artifact, guaranteed to cause a commotion. I thought I could get popular off of the back of it... But then, when I used it, I passed out. When I woke up, nopony could see me, or hear me. Then I was dragged away to somewhere that should have been unfamiliar. But it wasn’t! Somehow I knew Manehatten like the back of my hoof... Then I realised I was somepony else. ‘Surprise’ was gone. And I’ve been changing myself for others ever since, trying to cling on to one identity.”
Tears welled up in Pinkie’s eyes. She tried to imagine being torn away from her friends, time and again, rootless and lonely. “Surprise... I’m so sorry. I never realised,” she murmured. “B-but, how am I any different?”
“Don’t you get it, Pinkie?” Surprise said, smiling even as tears streamed down her face. “Your perfect partner, the one you would match perfectly with... was me. The real me.” She walked forward, raising a hoof and gently stroking Pinkie’s cheek. “We’re made for one another.”
Pinkie smiled back weakly, before pulling back slightly with a frown. “Then why did you leave so soon?” she asked. “I mean, you knew you were right for me, right? Because you... you appeared as you and not somepony else,” the earth pony said slowly, keeping track of what had been revealed so far. “But then you shouted at me and left me when you saw me with Dashie the other day.” The frown deepened. “If I was that super-special to you, why did you leave? How do I know I can believe you?”
Surprise’s face flushed and she looked at the floor, grinding her forehoof against it. “I don’t know what to say, Pinkie. I’m so sorry. I’ve spent so many years being blown to and fro, trying to hold onto something... I’d become jealous, selfish, clingy, even. It’s why I didn’t want see your friends to begin with. I didn’t want to lose you so soon; your friends wouldn’t see me, and I would be gone.” She huffed and rubbed the back of her neck. “But more than that, I wanted you to myself, regardless of what you wanted.” The pegasus cringed and then gave a surprised snort as Pinkie nuzzled her.
“It’s okay!” the earth pony said. “I mean, I wasn’t exactly great at this whole dating thing myself!”
Surprise gently pushed her away, regarding Pinkie with red-rimmed eyes. “No, you don’t understand! When I appeared as myself, I thought that this was it; my one chance to make things right. For the first time, I wasn’t just perfect to the pony I’d appeared to; she was perfect for me, too. So, I was even more motivated to stay together with you than usual.” She paused, blinking rapidly and swallowing.
Pinkie cocked her head to one side, frowning. “How is that a bad thing?” she asked.
“‘A bad thing’?” Surprise exclaimed. A bitter laugh escaped her lips. “Pinkie, can’t you see the damage I’ve done? I slipped into your life without thinking about what would happen if—no, when—I was found out. I tried to drive you apart from your friends. And when I finally woke up and saw the danger I posed to your happiness, I resolved to slip away again.” Her wings slumped down. “But what did I do instead? I caught you talking to Rainbow Dash and twisted it in my head to you two meeting up and going behind my back.” The pegasus sniffed miserably. “I told myself it was for your own good and that it was better for me to leave, but boy did I ever make sure I left in a way that cut you to shreds, Pinkie.”
The earth pony hesitantly held Surprise as she broke down, sobbing miserably. “It’s okay... I forgive you,” Pinkie murmured, smoothing the poofy yellow mane. “You came back and made things right, and that’s all that matters.”
“B-but that was because I thought I would dissipate and I didn’t and I waited three whole days and I was still here and”—Surprise cut into her rant to suck in another breath through her nose—“how could I ignore that? You still wanted me and waited for me and I pounced on the opportunity—”
“...And I would have done the same,” Pinkie answered. “When you came along, I would have done anything for a marefriend—and I mean anything—so you shouldn’t feel so bad.” She sighed, feeling oddly calm for such an extrordinary situation. “Maybe I asked you out and you stayed with me for all the wrong reasons. I don’t know. But we both said ‘I love you’ and we meant it, right?”
Surprise nodded and sniffed again. “Yeah... At least one thing I was able to be sincere about.”
“Well, there you go, then!” Pinkie exclaimed. “We both did things wrong before, yeah, but we both learned from it. And now we’re made up.” She took Surprise’s head in her hooves and kissed her gently on the forehead. “So, even if you think you think you’ve been a meany-weany pony, it doesn’t matter to me. We love one another, and you’ve shown me what it means to have a special somepony. That’s more than I could have asked for. More than I could have hoped for.” The earth pony bit her lip to suppress her own sob. Her ears perked up as she heard a sniffle behind her; she turned back to see Rarity dabbing at her eyes with a napkin.
“Oh my... that was beautiful,” Rarity murmured. Her eyes went wide as she realised Pinkie was staring at her. “I-I’m sorry, my dear. I didn’t mean to intrude.”
“It’s fine,” Pinkie said. She pulled Surprise closer, cuddling and kissing her as the pegasus quivered in the embrace. She was acutely aware that, if the others couldn’t see her marefriend, she would appear to be being affectionate to thin air. But she had been assured by Surprise that she was real and, moreover, Surprise felt real. That was good enough for her.
The pegasus snivelled, nuzzling Pinkie gently. “Then I’m glad I could do that much for you,” she said queitly. Surprise looked up at the earth pony with watery purple eyes. “Though, you deserve so much better than me.”
Pinkie shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what I deserve; it matters what I have. And I have you, and you make me happy. And I’m gonna stick by you for”—she paused and gulped, beginning to tremble—“...for as long as we have left.” She bit her lip. “But I don’t know what to do now, Surprise.”
“There’s... there’s nothing you can do, Pinkie,” Surprise whispered. “I’m so sorry.” She looked down at her hind leg, Pinkie following her gaze. The earth pony felt sick to the pit of her stomach as she realised she could see through the white foreleg to the floorboards behind it, the translucency gradually moving up the limb. “I’m already unravelling,” the pegasus said sadly. “I guess this is it.”
“No!” Pinkie’s calm façade disintergrated as she broke down into frantic weeping, clinging to her marefriend. “This can’t be happening! This isn’t right; this isn’t fair!” she exclaimed through sobs. “W-we’ve found each other and we’re j-just right for each other! Isn’t that enough? Isn’t that all a... a... love spirit needs?”
Surprise gave a sob of her own and pressed her head against Pinkie’s chest. “I-I know. I thought this was it, too... I found my soulmate, and I could l-love her back. Then my... curse, I guess, would be lifted.” She gave another glance to her fading body. “I s-suppose that was just wishful thinking,” she said bitterly.
Pinkie turned her head back to her friends. By now, each of them had lost their expressions of confusion and instead looked at her with deep sadness. Rarity and Fluttershy were both tearful, the latter hiding her face behind her long pink mane. “Twilight,” Pinkie whispered. “Please... help me. There must be something?” She stared at her friend, who met her gaze for a moment, before looking down at the floor. “Right?”
Twilight opened her mouth, then closed it again, grinding a forehoof against the floor. “Nothing that I’d really say was certain...” she began quietly, before meeting Pinkie’s hard gaze and sighing. “There was a passage about spirits being a soul bereft of a body,” she continued, more assertive now. “They’re blown about by the lack of a physical presence; hence genies residing in a lamp and such. There was a very experimental spell that could tie a soul to a new body... in theory, you could stop the dissipation by tying Surprise to you.”
“NO!” Pinkie’s head whipped around as Surprise cried out. By now, she was almost entirely translucent, only the parts of her body in contact with Pinkie still solid. “Don’t do this to yourself,” the pegasus pleaded. “Please. I’m not worth that.”
“Why? What’s the matter? You can stay with me! It’ll all be fine!” Pinkie said, smiling through her tears.
“It won’t.” Surprise clenched her eyes shut for a moment. “I’ve tried this once before. I know I have, it’s one of the few things I remember from my past selves...” She rubbed the side of her head and stared straight into Pinkie’s eyes. “So I remember not to do it again.”
“Wh-why?” Pinkie felt a shard of ice stab her in the stomach.
Surprise sighed and looked at the floor. “It was spring... I think. A unicorn mare studying in Canterlot. She was called... she... I don’t even remember her name.” Pinkie held her a little closer as the pegasus gave a little sob. “I came to her when she was lonely. She was studying the same book as your friend... or close enough. So, when I was found out, instead of letting me go, my partner had me cast the spell upon her, binding me to her. And, for once, I was like a normal pony. Remember Applejack seeing me? It worked... on everypony.”
“S-so what’s so bad about that?” Pinkie said, a nervous giggle escaping her lips. She shuddered as Surprise gazed at her with haggard eyes, a truly haunted look upon her face.
“It only worked while the love was alive,” Surprise said in a low voice. “When we fell out...” By now, she was shaking, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. “I dissipated. And I took her with me.”
Pinkie’s forelegs tightened around Surprise. “Y-you mean...”
“I s-still remember her screaming as she faded away, begging for somepony, anypony, to save her,” the pegasus whispered. She made eye contact with Pinkie again. “That will ultimately be your fate too, Pinkie, if you go through with this. Once the love runs out...” Surprise shook her head. “Please, Pinkie, don’t do this for me. Nopony is worth becoming a love spirit. Let me go. Find somepony else, one who can stay by your side. Don’t sacrifice it all for me...”
Pinkie stayed silent for a moment, holding Surprise close, keeping her from unravelling. She thought and thought; harder than she’d ever thought before, harder even than the time she believed her friends had abandoned her. The earth pony tried to weigh up what Surprise had told her.
Maybe she would lose everything if she fell out with Surprise. And maybe that could happen again. But then, they were made for each other, weren’t they? Not like the unfortunate mare in Canterlot. Even if they had an argument, Pinkie couldn’t see her love for Surprise fading away any time soon...
And besides, regardless of what horrible things might happen to her, Pinkie couldn’t help but think of Surprise. Sure, Pinkie could go back to her friends and be fine, in the end. There’d be heartbreak, but it would heal in time. Surprise, on the other hoof... she would be condemned to repeating this again and again, forever, only now she would have to go through with it, knowing her special somepony had slipped away once and for all. If Pinkie really did love Surprise, how could she ever abandon her like that?
“I’ll do it,” Pinkie said confidently. “Cast the spell on me.”
“No.” Surprise shook her head over and over again, pleading. “No no no no no. Pinkie, don’t do this! You’ll lose everything; you’ll never see your friends and family again! You won’t see me again!” She choked on her own words, nearly hyperventilating. “You’ll be doomed to wear a mask, be blown about for the rest of time. I wouldn’t wish this existence on my worst enemy! Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to your friends.” The pegasus cradled Pinkie’s head in her hooves. “Don’t do this to yourself.”
“But I want you to be happy, too,” Pinkie insisted.
“That’s my concern, Pinkie. I made a stupid mistake and I paid for it. I won’t have you do the same.” Surprise backed away across the threshold, stretching out her forelegs to stay connected to Pinkie. The earth pony clung to the white limbs ever tighter. “I’m going to let go now, okay? I’ll just g-give a little tug, and I’ll be gone. You can move on and... so can I, I guess.” She cast her gaze to the floor. “I am truly sorry I have to do this to you, Pinkie. I love you.”
“And wh-what if I pull back, huh?” Pinkie said, blinking to keep the tears out of her own eyes. “What if I don’t let go?”
Surprise sighed. “Then, you’ll bind yourself to me. I can’t stop it; not if that’s what you truly want.” She stared at Pinkie, then looked past her and nodded at the group of friends behind them. “But think of them. Think of all the ponies who’ll suffer if you vanish one day. What will Ponyville be like with a Pinkie-shaped hole? I’m telling you: I’m. Not. Worth. It,” she insisted.
Pinkie shook her head at Surprise. “Don’t tell me what you’re worth to me,” the earth pony whispered. “It’s a whole lot more than what you think it is,” she said with a small smile.
“Just... please, make the right choice,” Surprise pleaded.
Pinkie looked back at her friends one last time, then back at Surprise. She nodded, and made her decision.
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Well, that's that. Thanks for coming out, everybody.
I'm going to be honest. For the lead up the pay off was kinda weak.
A love spirit? Really? Pinkie being crazy would have been better.
Overall a good story which I enjoyed. Just didn't care for the last chapter.
What if this was all a dream and Pinkie woke up the day before the party started?????
............
............................................................
HOW COULD YOU END IT LIKE THAT 
why just why 
YOU
O...kay. So. That happened.
...
Right. Moving on!
Hmmmm, I don't know even if she was just in Pinkie's mind she wouldn't any less real. But I like the chapter titles and I must say good job. I hate cliff hanger endings, but...
Meh, cop out ending is cop out.
More like - "Obvious troll is obvious."
FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What happens next?! I NEED MORE!! 
2897792
I agree. I didn't mind the love spirit... whatever that is... thing.
But the ending is just cruel.
That ending.
aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA
*twitch* is that*twitch* all? No. There must be more, right? *twitch*
2897796 Damn right the friggin' chapter is named "Explanations".
500motivators.com/plog-content/thumbs/motivate/me/large/476-explanation-i-demand-one.jpg
Just kidding, I'm not that angry. But I agree it was cruel to end it like that. Is it too much to ask for an epilogue (or two)?
A predicament of draw your on conclusion, i see it as four endings
Good ending: pinkie lets surprise go and lives on
Neutral Good ending: pinkie tells twilight to cast the spell on her and tells surprise that their love will never die
Neutral Bad ending: pinkie tells twilight to cast the spell on her and surprise gets mad at pinkie for not letting her go and both disappear
Bad ending: pinkie keeps holding onto surprise to disappear with her
these are just some conclusion i could come up with, with this ending unless the writer comes up with an epilogue please maybe??
I was really hoping she'd end up being different than the hints you dropped. This ending was kind of bad imo. Oh well.
I with the majority on this one. Weak ending. What decisions did you make to lead up to this? I'm curious; everything else before appeared deliberate and well written, so I'm not going to assume it was a cop out just yet.
2897240
I'm with Scarab on this one.
I disbelieve.
I'm going to put some faith in Melon both having some fun at our expense, and knowing better than to do the terrible, ambiguous, 'I can't be bothered' ending.
Pinky fall out of love? That's Crazy
Pinky is Pinky because she loves EVERYBODY.
And remember, she's friends with the Faithful Student and element of Magic
A solution will be found.
Heck, it could even be as simple as using the elements of Harmony on Surprise, and bringing Surprise back into Harmony with the world.
Wtf why is it complete? Add more chapters like how twilight and the mane 6 try to rescue pinkie and surprise
I demands moreeezzzzzzzzzs
Oh, wow. Seriously? Someone calls you out for going LOL DON'T CARE and writing an incredibly lazy cop-out ending and you go and start deleting comments?
If you can't handle simple criticism, I suggest you stop writing right now and save yourself a lot of butthurt.
2900903 Actually, I deleted that comment because it was utterly inappropriate. There is a line between constructive criticism and being a jerk, and you crossed that line with the conviction of George Washington crossing the Delaware. Do you realise how insulting it is to be given a comment like that, with absolutely no qualification whatsoever? It's not simple criticism; it isn't criticism at all. It's plain rudeness, and that does not belong in a comments section.
For your information, I was satisfied with that ending, as was B_P. I was genuinely surprised with how negatively it was received, and it was not a 'cop-out' or lazy ending on my part. I think you'll find that your comment was the only one deleted. I am fine with people expressing their discontent in a polite manner. But I take umbrage to someone coming in and passing judgement like that.
If you're going to get angry about having your comments deleted, I suggest you learn some basic civility and constructive criticism, and kindly refrain from posting such offensive things in future.
2896460>>2896751>>2896988>>2897796>>2897846>>2897852>>2897854>>2898626>>2898966>>2899458>>2900269>>2900494>>2900773
Ahem. Well, much to my dismay, I find myself in a position not dissimilar to Bioware after finishing their space adventure last year. Suffice to say, it might be worth watching this space...
2901949 What do you mean?
2901941 Deleted my last comment as even I felt that was over the line.
However, my points still stand:
1. Yes, it was lazy and a cop out. Not only did you abandon any and all pretense at actually telling a decent mystery in favour of catering to the OMG SHIPPING crowd, you went through all the trouble of trying to insert a moral choice which you didn't even feel like properly ending the story with. If you're going to do the setup, at least put in the minimal amount of effort to end it, even though it looks like you're simply trying to avoid upsetting anyone by refusing to have any opinion whatsoever.
2. You need to learn the difference between people coddling you and actually talking to you like you're an adult, not hiding away and trying to take the moral high ground on the grounds that you can delete the other person's comments so that your argument's the only one left so that you feel you've won.
2902078 OK, let me get one thing straight: B_P did not tell me he hated the ending. This is the exact message he sent me when I queried him about it:
Right? Exactly how am I supposed to take 'this is a bad ending' or 'you should make a distinct choice' from that? I'm not a mind-reader. If B_P was upset with the ending, then he kept those thoughts to himself, or at least, out of my sphere of influence.
On Point 1, please don't try and put words into my mouth. I was trying to appeal to no-one in particular: my thoughts on this ending were that to make it overt was to miss the point. I thought everyone was more interested in what Surprise was as opposed to what happened next. More fool me, I guess. I was gunning after Inception; just as it didn't matter to Cobb whether he was in reality or a dream as he had what he wanted, I thought it wasn't necessary to detail what Pinkie did with Surprise, as the mystery was solved and Pinkie had grown up as a character. Evidently people were expecting something else. In that case, I'm taking it on board and I'll release an epilogue shortly, as I now see that pretty much everyone is dissatisfied with the ending. And they're right; it doesn't do the story justice, now I see it out in the open. But my original ending wasn't some mindless "Balls to it, I'll just leave it here," and neither B_P nor Octane gave me an indication it was that bad.
Finally, I'm sorry for deleting the original comment. I realise that was overstepping the mark, and I apologise. However, I still feel that the content of that comment was inappropriate. What you're doing now is fantastic in comparison: clearly giving me a reason why you hated it. Simply saying "That was the worst ending EVER," is not talking like an adult to someone--it is the exact opposite. I'm quite happy to take criticism that's mature. But no-one should have to take verbal abuse under the guise of 'Oh, I'm talking to them like an adult and not coddling them.' Take a look at the other negative comments--they're talking to me like I'm an adult, but they sure as hell aren't insulting me in the process. I'm happy to talk more if we keep it civil, though.
I thought that was AWESOME.
Only very rarely do I run into a shipfic that I actually like for reasons other than it making me laugh.
The ending is perfectly fine as far as I'm concerned. Either they bind or they don't; we can end the story perfectly well by ourselves however we wish.
I love the ending to this story because it gives the reader to make there own conclusion to it and feel how n about on what pinkie could choose in this situation whether it be good or bad
, i would love to to see an epilogue to this but i can see people hating on it depending on want it is, overall it was really fun reading this and hope you keep dishing more stories like this story
In my opinion, everything was well put together.
At first I questioned surprise as a love spirit, but when you explained it, it was well put out. Almost made me cry. This has become the greatest fimfic story so far!! Good job!
2901949
Oh, I don't mind ambiguous endings, if done right. Still, could use a bit more. And hey, we have the elements and Twilight at our disposal. It would seem like Pinkie to go "I pick neither!" and try to find a solution. But that is just my opinion. Like I said, ambiguous endings can be fun.
2902232 don't listen to the immature haters, bro. However you presented the ending was the way it is intended to be. After all, you wrote it
2902232
Too be fair, I wanted a completely different ending entirely.
2902232
Melon, I don't really appreciate being quoted like that, and it's a bit out of context… Remember that I also said the following:
All that changed from when I said that was the removal of a single sentence. Granted, that sentence actually changed a lot for me in regards to how I read the ending, but still. When we went through the ending, all that I did was drive your concise ending towards being unequivocally ambiguous, because that's what you asked for. Granted, when you asked me for an opinion on whether the ending should be ambiguous or overt, I should have offered you further advice than just, "here's how each might blow up in your face, so I dunno", but at the time, I think I was just caught up in making what was there function properly. And how much I liked your idea over Octane's, despite the negative reception yours has gotten.
I loved the whole story and if it is Author's Intent then I shall not complain about my one misgiving of the end. The ending is one that fits the story but what has been upsetting some is that, even though there is the implication of closure, cold, hard closure is not to be found. That is all well and done however for Author's Intent. That is all, beautifully composed.
2901949
Eh heh...
Feeling like a bit of a jerk now.
Still though, as much as I loved the ride to get here, I can't say I like the ending chapter here, at all. If it's the true one, I figure I should at least elucidate why I don't like it. Since that would at least be a bit helpful, maybepossiblyperhaps. Plus this way I get to use the word 'elucidate'.
Also, keep happily in mind that I
your story. Also your name and avatar, but as too-cool jaded-type person, I'm totally immune to adorability. I swear.
First, before anyone continues on the vein of you trying to please the sappy shippy community, I'll say that I'd be okay with a sad ending. If it couldn't be, or the spirit sacrifices herself, and Pinkie spends years trying to find her again, fruitlessly, and it all becomes a horrible tragic mess, fine. That's okay, because at least it is an ending. This, currently, is not. It's got a beginning, a middle, and a giant question mark. It's exactly the same effect as if you just didn't post up this chapter, and just cancelled the story. Or if you indecisively couldn't commit, and put up five different endings.
The ending says something about a story. But this one is sadly mute.
Second, it just... your weakest chapter. By far. Even discounting the non-ending. It's essentially a giant exposition dump. Which, okay, is bound to happen with a mystery, but it seems a bit excessive even so. Not enough groundwork layed, or attempts to figure it out beforehand, as with an actual mystery story, maybe. Plus the tragedy is just sort of shoved in there last-second, with no proper buildup, while we're already reeling from the shameless info dump. It was all just sort of like: 'Here's what's happening. Oh by the way I'mdyingsorrykthxbye.'. So the emotional investment ends up near-zero, since the feels just don't have time to ramp up. It gives it all a melodramatic air.
Plus, what's with everyone, including Pinkie, suddenly suspecting Surprise doesn't exist? That seemed so meta to me. I guess Twi-et-all are suppose to be the reader surrogates, but the characters themselves never seemed to suspect Surprise wasn't real. Or give any serious reason for Pinkie to jump to the conclusion that they thought so. To them it just seemed to look like Surprise was gun-shy, flaky or temperamental.
All of that stuff seemed so overt to me. It's why I thought it was all just... like... a troll on your readership.
Sorry Melon. T'wasn't my intent to sound all patronizing or something. Mea culpa.
I just read through this and have to agree with 2906313. S/he worded most of what I felt this chapter was lacking.
I'm going to add one more point though, I still didn't believe they loved each other besides the fact that they wanted each other so much. I mean this was what, a week into the story? Three days which Pinkie didn't interact with Surprise. I really think that concept should have been explained more. Surprise knew Pinkie was lonely and would love her but she wouldn't reflect on being desperate herself? I didn't feel like they loved each other, besides desperation love. I mean, the day before the big reveal they had just KISSED for the first time! Surprise wanted to be a pony again while Pinkie wanted to love someone and it would have worked out for both of them.
As for the actual chapter, it did come off as lazy writing. I'm not doubting you put so much effort into this story (it totally shows in the other chapters) but it does seem rushed. Bluntly, Twilight was there as a glorified dictionary and Surprise was a long backstory. I don't have a problem with the mysterious ending but it come out of nowhere.
I'm truly sorry for all the negative criticisms on this chapter, even though it helps you improve it still must be hard to take. The story was just so good and put together, that seeing it end like this feels wrong.
Great story with, what I felt, was a disappointing ending. No point in reiterating what others have said, but I hope that you eventually see the benefit in releasing another chapter after this one, giving the story some resolution.
To me it was a big emotional build up towards zero release. :(
A interesting story, I liked most of it with the ups and downs the relationship went through. The ending is disappointing and makes the story feel as though it ended with no resolution for me or is unfinished, but if that was your intent then you were successful.
2906313>>2910443 OK, one thing before I start: please, don't label yourself as jerks or feel bad. You haven't insulted me (and tried to qualify that as 'talking to me like an adult'
), you haven't accused me of things that blatantly aren't true. You've taken time out of your days to write entire essays about why you felt the ending was bad; as the author sifting through the fallout of this ending, it's more than I could ask for (and no, I'm not going to make a title pun here 
)
I'll reiterate: this ending was not pandering to sappy shippers. If anything, it was the opposite. Throughout the story, my view of the readership has been that most were first and foremost interested in the mystery of Surprise's being, with the relationship in a distant second. Hell, I felt vindicated of this after Chapter 7, where the comments were ablaze about Surprise talking to Applejack, with barely a peep in comparison about Pinkie and Surprise getting closer. I had been keeping a nervous eye on The Games We Play, which IIRC had a similarly disastrous ending to its mystery. However, given the much higher interest in Surprise herself, I figured people would be happy with this ending: we get to see what Surprise is and why all those odd goings-on happened. The ambiguous ending was really a nod to the fact that, either way, Pinkie had been majorly screwed over by the relationship she thought would solve her problems. But who was I to tell people exactly how she was screwed over?
Of course, in hindsight, the mistake was obvious: I'd committed the focus group tester's fallacy of assuming what people say and what people want/expect are the same, when they're rarely correlated closely in reality. Yes, it was a mistake to leave a loose end as significant as the relationship's ultimate outcome hanging loose. Obviously, a few people were satisfied with that alone, but not nearly enough to justify letting it stand. So, yes, I am going to release an epilogue that (hopefully) should offer some sort of closure. But, unlike what some people have falsely insinuated, this was never a cop-out ending or a mass trolling. I'm not going to spend four-and-a-half months writing the story, only to deliberately half-ass the ending, or suddenly cackle and proclaim "The butthurt... it shall be glorious!" Simply put, I tried too hard to clear things up regarding Surprise, and not hard enough on the relationship. I hope the epilogue will go some ways to sorting that out, as well as the unnaturally accelerated relationship, as Loyal Traitor pointed out.
Also, yes, the sudden worry that Surprise wasn't real is a meta nod. I thought it was worth referencing the 'obvious' plot twist everyone thought they saw coming in Chapter 2. Although, considering Pinkie also thought that her friends acting a bit shifty meant they wanted nothing more to do with her, I would say it might have been something her paranoid mind might have settled on when looking for a reason why her friends doubted her
I hope that's at least given you an inkling of why I went down this path (and a reassurance of both your moral characters and my determination to give this a proper ending
), but do ping me back if there's anything else you wanted to know.
2900269 And I'll copy you in, as you also asked for my reasons for taking this ending.
YOU ASSHOLE! YOU HAD ME WORRIED FOR SO LONG! DON'T EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!