Reflections

Celestia and Luna talk about immortality, life, death, and what such things mean.

The art is not mine.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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Blagdaross

Blagdaross #1 · Mar 14th, 2013 · · ·

This is jmartkdr from AHA. I will be reading and reviewing this story either later tonight or tomorrow.

Blagdaross

Blagdaross #2 · Mar 14th, 2013 · 1 · ·

Review for Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Reflections
Grammar Score: 10
Pros: Good use of mood, it held a fair amount of bittersweet and hope all at once.
Beautiful prose, each sentence was a tiny work of art
I really liked the transition from despair to hopefulness in this story; well executed.
Cons: Is Twilight supposed to be Celestia's daughter literally or figuratively? I wasn't entirely sure.
Long paragraphs. Breaking it up would have improved readability.
I feel you might have pulled Celestia a little far out of canon with this.
Notes: Overall a great, if dense, piece of writing. I did enjoy the conversation even when it got into tricky philosophical ground. I think if I would suggest any change it would be clarifying Celestia and Twilight's relationship. I was a little confused by that, which pulled me away from the emotions you were trying to create. The long paragraphs in the beginning were technically correct, but cutting them down could help too.
Enjoy your review, and Thank you for reviewing Princess of the Night!

TheTownCrier

TheTownCrier #3 · Mar 15th, 2013 · · ·

Five out of five moustaches. You show a depth of understanding well beyond your age.

Bravo.

Stormwatch

Stormwatch #4 · Mar 21st, 2013 · 1 · ·

2263323
Is Twilight supposed to be Celestia's daughter literally or figuratively?

Read Last One Standing for the answer.

Blagdaross

Blagdaross #5 · Mar 22nd, 2013 · · ·

2296175 on my read later list as of... now

kalash93

kalash93 #6 · Mar 22nd, 2013 · · ·

2299965

It seems like you're going to go through my entire library pretty soon!

redmon77

redmon77 #7 · Apr 3rd, 2013 · 1 · ·

redmon77 from AHA here to review

title: reflections
author: kalash93
grammar: 9. there were few, if only occasional, spelling errors.
pros:
1. this was clearly well written and thoroughly thought out before put down on paper.
2. the point of the sister's lives being bittersweet was clearly stated and seen, as well as felt.
3. just by reading this story one could tell that you put your heart into it.

cons:
1. as previously said, very few spelling errors.
2. not sure if this is right, but doesnt Luna refer to Celestia as "Sister" instead of using her actual name?
3. you randomly shift "i" to "we" or "us" in luna's dialogue.

comments:
im not really one for reading sad/tragic/dark stories, "redheart" being the single standing exception. but this story had overall been beautiful and i thouroughly enjoyed reading it, good sir!
9/10

kalash93