This is jmartkdr from AHA. I will be reading and reviewing this story either later tonight or tomorrow.

Review for Authors Helping Authors

Name of Story: Reflections

Grammar Score: 10

Pros: Good use of mood, it held a fair amount of bittersweet and hope all at once.

Beautiful prose, each sentence was a tiny work of art

I really liked the transition from despair to hopefulness in this story; well executed.

Cons: Is Twilight supposed to be Celestia's daughter literally or figuratively? I wasn't entirely sure.

Long paragraphs. Breaking it up would have improved readability.

I feel you might have pulled Celestia a little far out of canon with this.

Notes: Overall a great, if dense, piece of writing. I did enjoy the conversation even when it got into tricky philosophical ground. I think if I would suggest any change it would be clarifying Celestia and Twilight's relationship. I was a little confused by that, which pulled me away from the emotions you were trying to create. The long paragraphs in the beginning were technically correct, but cutting them down could help too.

Enjoy your review, and Thank you for reviewing Princess of the Night!

Five out of five moustaches. You show a depth of understanding well beyond your age.

Bravo.

>>22633232263323

Is Twilight supposed to be Celestia's daughter literally or figuratively?

Read Last One Standing for the answer.

>>22961752296175 on my read later list as of... now

>>22999652299965

It seems like you're going to go through my entire library pretty soon!

redmon77 from AHA here to review

title: reflections

author: kalash93

grammar: 9. there were few, if only occasional, spelling errors.

pros:

1. this was clearly well written and thoroughly thought out before put down on paper.

2. the point of the sister's lives being bittersweet was clearly stated and seen, as well as felt.

3. just by reading this story one could tell that you put your heart into it.

cons:

1. as previously said, very few spelling errors.

2. not sure if this is right, but doesnt Luna refer to Celestia as "Sister" instead of using her actual name?

3. you randomly shift "i" to "we" or "us" in luna's dialogue.

comments:

im not really one for reading sad/tragic/dark stories, "redheart" being the single standing exception. but this story had overall been beautiful and i thouroughly enjoyed reading it, good sir!

9/10