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kalash93

Joined December 2012
296 followers

Groups

Stories (12)

  • Last One Standing
    From the beginning, it could only end one way. Nopony lives forever.

    7,578 words · 2,511 views · 72 likes · 4 dislikes
  • You Obey
    You are a changeling, servant of Queen Chrysalis. You always obey her orders, even when you don't want to. And at times like this, you really don't want to.
    5,555 words · 4,089 views · 75 likes · 5 dislikes
  • I Did Not Want To Die
    The final thoughts of a fallen soldier. Dedicated to all who serve, all who survived, and all the fallen.
    4,727 words · 11,408 views · 93 likes · 11 dislikes
  • Bratan
    Two old comrades drink and reminisce. For Veterans' Day 2013.
    2,721 words · 151 views · 23 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Racer And The Geek
    49,546 words · 3,690 views · 76 likes · 11 dislikes
  • Barren
    4,862 words · 144 views · 19 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Songs Uncle Sings
    1,630 words · 663 views · 18 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Shell Shock
    2,680 words · 3,035 views · 47 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Reflections
    4,784 words · 1,321 views · 21 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Caravan
    3,663 words · 138 views · 14 likes · 2 dislikes

Blog Posts (29)


Celestia and Luna talk about immortality, life, death, and what such things mean. This is a followup story to Last One Standing. While you don't need to read one in order to understand the other, it will make the experience more complete.

The art is not mine.

First Published
21st Feb 2013
Last Modified
21st Feb 2013

Comments ( 7 )

#1 · 58w, 19h ago · · ·

This is jmartkdr from AHA. I will be reading and reviewing this story either later tonight or tomorrow.

#2 · 58w, 18h ago · 1 · ·

Review for Authors Helping Authors

Name of Story: Reflections

Grammar Score: 10

Pros: Good use of mood, it held a fair amount of bittersweet and hope all at once.

Beautiful prose, each sentence was a tiny work of art

I really liked the transition from despair to hopefulness in this story; well executed.

Cons: Is Twilight supposed to be Celestia's daughter literally or figuratively? I wasn't entirely sure.

Long paragraphs. Breaking it up would have improved readability.

I feel you might have pulled Celestia a little far out of canon with this.

Notes: Overall a great, if dense, piece of writing. I did enjoy the conversation even when it got into tricky philosophical ground. I think if I would suggest any change it would be clarifying Celestia and Twilight's relationship. I was a little confused by that, which pulled me away from the emotions you were trying to create. The long paragraphs in the beginning were technically correct, but cutting them down could help too.

Enjoy your review, and Thank you for reviewing Princess of the Night!

#3 · 57w, 5d ago · · ·

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Five out of five moustaches. You show a depth of understanding well beyond your age.

Bravo.

#4 · 57w, 14h ago · 1 · ·

>>2263323

Is Twilight supposed to be Celestia's daughter literally or figuratively?

Read Last One Standing for the answer.

#5 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2296175 on my read later list as of... now

#6 · 56w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2299965

It seems like you're going to go through my entire library pretty soon!

#7 · 55w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

redmon77 from AHA here to review

title: reflections

author: kalash93

grammar: 9. there were few, if only occasional, spelling errors.

pros:

1. this was clearly well written and thoroughly thought out before put down on paper.

2. the point of the sister's lives being bittersweet was clearly stated and seen, as well as felt.

3. just by reading this story one could tell that you put your heart into it.

cons:

1. as previously said, very few spelling errors.

2. not sure if this is right, but doesnt Luna refer to Celestia as "Sister" instead of using her actual name?

3. you randomly shift "i" to "we" or "us" in luna's dialogue.

comments:

im not really one for reading sad/tragic/dark stories, "redheart" being the single standing exception. but this story had overall been beautiful and i thouroughly enjoyed reading it, good sir!

9/10

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