I Really liked this story, cant wait for the other chapters!

I like it! :D

This is totally awesome and I'm totally gonna read the rest!

Also, Moustache

Woot already I can tell this is going to be a great fic. You set the scene nicely with rich detail and the characters are once again spot on. Keep it up.

looks interesting.

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

Spiffing good show, if I do say so.

This seems like actual dialogue from an episode! Really good storytelling. Puts you in the scene. Look forward to what's next!

Well, like I said in the IRC, I really appreciated this bit of story. It flows smooth, and the conversation is believable - plus it is very amusing to watch Trixie paint herself to a corner like this. Both Trixie and Sweetie Belle seem very in-character.

The fight between Sweetie Belle and Rarity was probably the best bit (and not only 'cause Rarity is the best pony) - it was in-character, believable and touching. Pretty much how I'd imagine two sisters fighting I guess.

This story has a LOT of potential, and I can't wait for the next chapter! That out of the way, it's been a month since you wrote this. As we say on touhou-project.com: "Get back to work, n*****."

>>1253512535

I am a slow writer, and in between this first chapter and the impending second I acquired a tablet and starting trying my hand at art, and also had essentially a week vacation out of town.  I want to present a well-refined chapter, so please excuse how long I'm taking.  I'll try my best to keep going.

I came to this story intrigued by the novel combination of protagonists. Now, I'm intrigued by where you plan on going. I can't say I entirely like the idea of Rarity as a physically abusive guardian, but the dynamic between Sweetie and Trixie is fascinating. I look forward to seeing what happens next.

>>1390113901

will be featured in Chapter 3, so hopefully that will address some of your feelings about her role in the story.  Thanks for your comment!

Now this is going to be an interesting storyline I mean Trixie a teacher, and a great and powerful one at that. this is going to be good.

Excellent as usual.

Also.

Love this story.

>>1390113901

"physically abusive guardian"

Ummm? I may have missed something, but I don't believe Rarity was ever stated as being abusive?

Anyways, great story! I love how Trixe is portrayed with some actual depth, just be careful not to give her so much character progression that she stops being Trixie.

Ugh... Not going to repeat one's really long comment that just got deleted, so here's the tl;dr version: Great job, love the story, but find a pre-reader. Spotted a few grammar mistakes here and there (Only minor), and you called SB a he at one point. (Ctrl+F FTW!)

Keep up the amazing work! Loving this fic so far!

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

>>1490214902

I have several pre-readers, but things slip through the cracks sometimes.  Thanks for pointing it out.

I want to make love to this author.

Keep up the excellent work!

tracked, favorited, and loved it!

keep the good job, I'm really loving this story! *-*

Interesting.  I'll be following this great and powerful story, I think.  

Once again, AJ is the best pony.

Sisterhooves Social kind of ruins that little bit of Rarity's and Sweetie Bell's parents death  lol

Glad to see that this is being continued. It's got a much different feeling to it than other Trixie stories, probably because she's been placed in a position of responsibility unlike anything she's probably ever experienced. It's sweet and touching to see Trixie take this seriously and unwind from her normal persona.

Also nice to see Sweetie Belle get some loving from the fan community. I'm looking forward to how she'll change with a different parental figure taking care of her.

Heh, I can tell this was written before the latest episode aired. Rarity having living parents suddenly showing up messed up quite a few stories out there. But, that's no big deal as you can always claim that this is a alternate universe. Author's creative license at work here!

Looking forward to more!

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

You have a great setting between two characters, trying to work together... Sweetie Belle learning from the Great And Powerful Trixie.

I heartily approve!

i really liked this chapter, continue the good work :)

Don't worry about canon conflicts, all you have to do is say two magic words"Alternate Universe"

beautifully written, i'm anxious to see your take on the arrival of the rest of the mane 6...

Sisterhooves Social Broke a lot of fic's....

But that is okay I'll just imagine its a different universe.

Anyway write more plz!

                                               -Fin

>>2870128701

Unfortunately, the rest of the mane 6 will not appear in this fanfiction.  The characters listed in the story details, namely , are the only ones which will be featured.

That's nice. I love how Trixie responsible and caring one here, and Rarity... well, not very good sis. Can't wait to see Rarity\Trixie confrontation (I do belive that Trixie much more powerful that Rarity, but would she use magic on Sweetie Belle's sister?). Applejack very good here, just right amount of agresstion, understanding and honesty. Please continue)

Sweet! Every chapter I have read had always made me tear up. This one was no exception. I love the sisterly bond between Sweetie Belle and Trixie. Trixie's becoming one of my favorite ponies because of fics like this. I can't wait until Rarity and Trixie meet face to face with Sweetie Belle in the middle of the confrontation.

I can relate to Trixie as I feel weak compared to my family. I seem to can't find out my talents. And while my friends knows what they want to do, I'm left behind still wondering what to do......And it gives me a hard time when I sleep and feel alone....

I was reading this while I was listening to the Turnabout Sisters Ballad Theme from Phoenix Wright. The scene with Rarity/Applejack and near the end of Chapter 3 with Trixie/Sweetie Belle made me tear up a lot. That's how much I love this. I can consider this to be one of my top favorite fanfics tied with Feathers and maybe A Dash of Inspiration on this site.

I can't wait until the next Chapter to be released. Hopefully since it's a holiday this week, you'll have more time with the fanfic.

hmmm...

i hope none of Trixie's... personality rubs off on sweetie...

Still, I am interested!

awww...

also!

“I’ll move my royal guard here, capturing your other pegasus.  And um... checkmate.”  this... would be very fun!

I was kinda hoping for some interaction between and , but alas, it does not seem likely...

still, a good, fun fic.  

i personally would like the fic to become a tad darker, but that's just me...

and my gloomypants...

>>2878828788

Although I haven't read Feathers / Dash of Inspiration, I'm flattered you would compare my work to fics with so many views and high ratings.

These kinds of comments are things I like to see.  I'm glad to hear people have had the emotional reaction I hoped my writing would be able to elicit.  As far as music goes, it has a monumental impact on the words I write and the feeling that goes into my fiction.

My life is actually likely to get MORE busy in the near future rather than less.  I've had a bit of a reprieve from my normal activities over the past week or two, and as I have said before in these comments I am a horribly slow writer.

>>2879728797

There will be no direct interaction between the two in this fiction, I am afraid.  The only major characters to appear are those listed on the titlecard.  I do however, have a sequel of sorts planned in summary, which will hopefully be written someday.  I have another fic I would very much like to write after the completion of this one, so it may be a long time.

Very beautiful. Trevor has been waiting for this fic to update, so thank you for not abandoning it! One liked the song, though more the instrumental first half than the actual song. One was GOING to suggest that somepony do a cover of it, but the lyrics in the second half kind of make that difficolt. *Sighs*

Also... Trevor was wondering if that wasn't why Rarity... Yeah... One can understand that almost TOO well... While it was very moving, what made it even more so was thinking back to 'Simply Rarity'. That fic TOTALLY blows this chapter out of the water for sad Rares, but then again, that's the ENTIRE point of that fic, rather than the central aim of this fic. It enhanced this chapter, rather than take away, thinking back to that feeling of loss and tragedy in that fic, rather than make this seem weaker in comparison. Beautifully done...

Trevor eagerly awaits the next chapter patiently!

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

>>2897228972

Dammit Trevor, why did you have to remind me of 'Simply Rarity', it's bad enough that I have Grave of the Fireflies standing on my shelf, begging to be re-watched. As an big-brother, there is a limited amount of younger sister sadness my heart can take before it breaks!

Anyways, the fic is awesome: It's good to see some steady character progression for Trixie.

>>47664766

Hmmm, yes, quite.

I love this fanfiction and I must say the dynamic between Sweetie and Rarity is much better than the in cannon familial antagonism. Rarity is actually growing to be my favorite character in this story.

You have three very strong protagonists in this chapter: Trixie, Sweetie Belle, and AppleJack.  I deeply appreciate the white-versus-gray morality conflict in this story.  

Darn it, you've made me FEEL for Trixie!

Well done!

>>2897228972

I apologize for not updating very fast.  If I ever put the fic on hiatus, I will mark it as such and make a blog post, but I don't intend to.  I haven't read Simply Rarity, though I have heard of it.  I will have to take the time at some point to read all these fics people mention in relation to mine, although my queue is already at 100+ unread stories that I would like to read eventually.

>>2920929209

I'm glad you enjoy it.  I very much tried to write Trixie as an actual character with thoughts and motivations, like an actual person and not a storybook villain (just like AJ said in chapter 2).  She is probably one of my favorite side characters.

My D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww-ometer is pegged right now.

This story is wonderful.  I'm so glad that Trixie is keeping her promise, and being mature.  

You're writing not just good fanfiction; you're writing good fiction.

I'm loving this fic a hundred fold. And we can make your story canon again if we change the official lore of the MLP universe a bit making it so Rarity's parents in Sister Hooves Social were actually....ghosts. See, now your story is canon again.

This fic is so far very, very good.

I have this amazing mix of feelings right now, somewhere between nearly sobbing but still a smile on my face. The story did touch a few personal heartstrings of mine (in a positive way though).

I'm not sure if I have the words, or if I should just proceed to drawing fanart of the brushing scene because I frakkin' loved it...

Eh. Poke me later on in the IRC if you want any sensible criticism, right now I don't have 'em due to emotional overload.

~Arto "FoxOfWar" M.

This fic is fantastic, man. Keep it up!

I know it's on hiatus but I just have to say, I read the first two chapters a few months ago and I look forward to any more chapters if you decide to continue the story. It's well written, IMO.

>>144591144591

I've got 3.8k words written for the new chapter 4, and what was going to be chapter 4 (and is now chapter 5) has a chunk of work done on it too.

So soon!  I hope.  Maybe.

(Also looking back over my writing it seems so terrible, I struggle with it a lot whenever I'm writing new stuff. )

This story has caught my interest and if/when you get around to finish it I will gladly give it a read.

And about looking back on things that you've done, and know that terrible feeling. But I can say this; your writing is far from the worst I've read.

MY LIFE IS COMPLETE

This is getting better each single second I read this.

Please keep up the awesome work my good sir.

Holy Crap! It updated!

Joking aside, good show, I await your next update, whenever that is.

This was a very satisfying continuation of the story. I love backstory, it really helps to round out a characters personality and I feel like we really got to know Trixie in this chapter. I think we all would have done what Sweetie Belle did after hearing that, just lie down and hug her until she feels better.

Also, I hope Twilight didn't suffer any ill effects from that chunk of wood in her leg. Ouch.

I must confess that I wasn't as engaged with this chapter as I had been with previous ones (something about the violence, I think), but still looking forward to seeing the story progress.

heavy.

So glad to see an update. I really was hoping you'd see this through to the end. I have always loved this version of Trixie and as the updates continue she's only becoming more and more realized as a character. Well done.

>>179812179812

Trust me, I have no intent on leaving this one unfinished, no matter how long it takes me.

...but hopefully not that long.

New chapter, same result. I felt really bad for Trixie and all the crap's she's been going and the only person, that's still alive, she can trust the most is Sweetie Belle.

Both ponies want to be the greatest and prove it but every time they try to, it backfires and something bad happens. Both are struggling with their inner issues, Sweetie Belle has her sister issues, while Trixie has her dealing with her family dead and living alone. And both will help each other out to have their happiness be fulfilled. I have read hundreds and maybe even thousands of My Little Pony fanfics.

This is in the top 5 best MLP fanfics I have ever read and that's something when comparing the sadness with My Little Dashie, Pony Psychology, and the hundreds of sad fics I have read and this is hands down in the Top 3 in terms of sadness.

I can't wait for the Final Chapter to come out since you did say They'll be 5 chapters in this whole story. And I'm anticipating the encounter of Rarity and Trixie. Or will there be more chapters coming out......

Keep up the good work.

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/97022ccdefe0a443f36ffc148d6d72ff/116471%20-%20big_macintosh%20caption%20fourth_wall%20granny_smith%20manly_tears%20screencap%20the_last_roundup.jpg

^ That's me... Bastard. A new update is supposed to make me happy, not bawl! JERK!

~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria

Ouch. Trixie's had some ruff times. And that's putting it mildly.

Quite the tragic back story. Just about anyone she's ever loved and trusted is gone. Here's hoping that Sweetie can bring a little light to her life.

I'm surprised at how...nasty things turned with this installment. Wasn't expecting it but it all helps build up the history of where Trixie has been and what's keeping her going.

At least the ending wrapped up with a tender moment. Lots of D'aww was had from me at that scene.

Noticed quite a few typos and grammatical errors here. If you'd like, I can give it a good scrubbing and let you know where they all are. Other than that, keep at it!

Manly tears have been shed.

And I am fearful of what is going to happen when Twilight and Trixie meet again...

Round 2? Ding Ding!

Well done. A very moving series thus far.

>>179947179947

It did turn out quite nasty this chapter, yes.  I worried that it might have been too much, and there will definitely be more happy future chapters.

As for the typos trust me, in 10,000+ words I try to comb for em and they STILL slip through.   Feel free to shoot me a message here on FiMFiction or my email on my profile page with whatever you found!

I'd greatly 'ppreciate it.

>>179880179880

I've never read My Little Dashie (shame on me ) but that's really strong praise.  Most people I've run into had good things to say about My Little Dashie, and to put my pic up that high, I'm really flattered.

As for five chapters... yeah its gonna be more.  That was my original plan, and its changed quite a bit since then.  This chapter wasn't planned at all, for instance!  Its just an idea I had midway through and decided I wanted to do it.  So at this point I'd estimate maybe... 7-8 chapters...?  Of course who knows how things will go, more unplanned chapters could come up.  We'll have to see when we get there.  

that was amazing

This is more of an opinion than anything, but the seems to be an alarmingly large amount if dickery in the general populace of Equestria.

It just doesn't appear right to me that most ponies seem to be willing to go to the point of savage beatings on Trixie, just because of her reputation.

Again, this is just my opinion, but I wanted to get it out there. This by no means detracts from the overall astounding work you put here.

-Delta-

>>180676180676

I like to imagine my story takes place in an Equestria where things are a bit less utopian than they are in the show.  Arguably one could say that ponies would be very understanding and forgiving of Trixie, and that kind of moots my whole fic if the world is a universally sympathetic one!  The same would be true for Sweetie + Rarity, or Trixie + Twilight.

I kind of have to portray it like that for the story to work as I imagined it, so I apologize if its not as true to the show as some might want.  The world isn't anything close to grimdark, I think.  Also, Trixie didn't get beat because of her reputation itself, she got tossed out of the diner for making a scene inside and then attacked one of the employees.  Her reputation combined with her behavior did not help her.

The Twilight Trixie "battle" was some time before Trixie started teaching Sweetie (so like right after the Ursa Minor incident in the episode?) or after?

Also

Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/796/447px-Manlytears3.jpg

>>180953180953

The events in the flashback dreams are all occurring in chronological order, aside from the very last one.  All of them occur before the start of the fic  The fight was mentioned in Chapter 2 when AJ discovered Trixie on the farm.

I haven't got a strict timeline, but the fight occurs quite some after the events of Boast Busters..

>>181467181467

Ok just wanted to know since the first memory was in Italics and the rest weren't until the fire at the house so wasnt sure if the fight with Twilight maybe happened that very night since trixie was having problems walking (with Sweetie supporting her on the way to the cushions thats at least how i got it for a bit).

So it was early early memories are italics and the ones after boast buster are non italics.

>>181480181480

Across any chapter, italics are used to present either inner thoughts or flashbacks / dreams that are removed from the current scene.  

For example, Summer Sky's talk with Trixie as fillies is in italics because it is Trixie's reminiscence.  The diner scene where Trixie speaks to the vision of her dad, that section is in litalics because it is set aside from the current events as well.  Trixie's dream of her father at the very end is in italics because she then wakes up to Sweetie Belle. There are no blocks of italicized text for the hotel scene or the fight with Twilight because nothing deviates from it (she has no vision, flashback, dream, etc), only a few moments of inner thought at the end.

Unlike GoogleDocs, FiMFiction doesn't let me put full indentation across paragraphs so some of that emphasis is lost in.  I apologize for any confusion, and I hope that clears things up..

>>181563181563

yes it does and thanks.

I have been waiting forever for this chapter! You still got it sir.

Excuse me, I gotta do clean my head off the wall.

...oh god . THE SAD!!!

you are my favorite sad writer now. damn this is good

i must unfortunately say that i can not, in ANY of the scenarios i run in my mind, see this fic ending happily.

BUCK YOU, PESSIMISTIC IMAGINATION *one brutal murder of my pessimistic mind later* there problem solved

i will forever follow you sir, even if it leads me to the deepest parts of the sad dimension. oh and don't worry about the typo thing they are few and easily looked over

That'll do ponywriter, that'll do.

>>199866199866

I have a few ideas of how the end of the story will go.  Its still a bit undecided!  But happy is definitely one of the possibilities.

Aww I cant wait for more of this story! Its sooooo goooddd!

>>280886280886

Thanks!  Gonna be a bit of a wait while I work on the first chapter of a new fic (6200 words on that one so far), then I'll come back to Trixie once more.

Aw darn, ah well.

I've REALLY enjoyed this story so far. The bond between Trixie and Sweetie Belle's incredibly done. Sweetie Belle's desire to learn reminds me a lot about Twilight Sparkle's desire, except to the point where she doesn't read tirelessly. The little unicorn wants to develop her skills. And I really admire how it's gotten to the point where she and Trixie have become close, like a mother/daughter relationship.

What I especially love here is Trixie's character growth and why I *ADORE* this chapter so much. It shines a light behind Trixie's personality, her grudges, pain, and eventual desire to make things right.

Excellent work; I eagerly await the next chapter! :D

i love this chapter i love backstroy

made me apriciate how strong trixie is

also make me have some hate twords twilight

twilight had no business doing what she did

Herp Derp

12k Words update Blaghrgklaasfasf, i know what i will do this morning

This... this has updated.

And shit has gone down.

I truly hope the next update doesn't take half as long.

>>15270861527086

It was 9 freaking months between this chapter and the last.  Trust me, I feel deep shame.

Hmm. I want Applejack to suffer. I want Rarity to suffer. And I want Twilight to suffer.

By the Trixie's hooves. And Sweetie's.

Because fuck you ponies. Trixie will get her happy ending or NOPONY but Trixie and Sweetie will get their happy ending.

Oh my god I didn't even know this relic was on FIMFiction. Or that it was still being updated.

Well! I certainly enjoyed this update. Imagine my surprise to find that this had updated. Now I get to go back and reread this from the beginning to better understand the context of this chapter. It occurs to me that the last statement might sound like a complaint but it's not. I do thoroughly enjoy reading and often find myself lacking in reading material so having the excuse to have more to read is a good thing. I'm mostly just happy that this updated.

Oh, and it gets worse.

The situation for Trixie, not the story!

Poor Sweetie just can't control herself, sometimes. It's not her fault she's developing the ROYAL CANTERLOT CAPS-LOCK OF DOOM!

It's too bad the characters are placed in the problems they are, but that's life. I understand where Applejack is coming from: the emotional health of a dear friend and kid are at stake here and right in the middle is a pony she has no love for. However, removing Trixie from the picture won't solve all problems.

Waiting eagerly for what comes next!

Fuck me, that was a hard chapter to read. It's good stuff I think but you're really putting poor Trixie through the wringer.

I dont really get this whit Trixie not being allowed in Ponyville, Is it like she is been banned from Ponyville or something. I Found that very strange especially as the Ursa is Snips and Snails fault

>>15273911527391

She attacked Twilight, see Chapter 4.  She doesn't have a good reputation from her past.

Also blame me for probably inflating something to be a bit more serious than would be reasonable, but hindsight on flaws of a story premise don't really help when you are several chapters deep into it.  Its either keep writing or give up, and well, I do the best I can.

>>15275411527541

Yeah the attack might have gotten them a bit angry about her, but she still should be allowed to be in Ponyville, and Twilight doesnt seem to hold a grudge against her, and there was no one else there to witness what she did. Twilight could have started the fight, the ponies of Ponyville dosent know...

Buut even if that was the case they would still take Twilight side....stupid ponies of Ponyville

GO GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE

Fillies and Gentlecolts: I present to you, just in time for nightmare night, a fic RESSURECTED FROM THE GRAVE with a particularly awesome chapter. Or was it mediocre to the rest of the fic? I have no bloody clue, it's been almost 6 months between updates.

I'm honestly not quite sure what to make of this one now, to be honest.

Hooray, you're back!

THE EASTERN FIELDS ARE BURNING RED~! HERE I G- anyway. awesome chapter once again