After watching many of my favorite authors doing Thirty Minute Ponies, I decided to try my hand, with admittedly mixed results. Here are the attempts I feel are worth sharing. Other than fixing blatant typos, I have tried to keep them as close to the original posting as possible.
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An unexpected pairing, but I definitely like it.
This is at once sweet and depressing. Very nicely done.
I dunno, the bit about being on tour definitely suggested Vinyl to me. What exactly happened between Twi and her isn't clear, but it doesn't need to be -- this punches plenty hard as is.
Angst, beautiful angst! But seriously, this a perceptive look at what Twilight would be experiencing some years after her ascension. Very nice (albeit depressing).
I have to admit, I was secretly relieved that you killed off Fluttershy. I like her as much as the next guy, but it was still nice to see a story for this prompt that didn't revolve around her.
2196187 I saw the word Kindness and thought I would give them something else to look at. I hadn't entirely planned for her death, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
2146689 I'm not sure I entirely know what went on between them myself. Welcome to my fragmented headcanon, I guess.
Lumping these comments so I don't comment-spam.
Story 1: D'awwwww! Rares and Rainbow might seem a bit unusual, but.. You know, I could see them getting this kind of start. Rainbow's pretty insecure for someone who behaves so boldly, I think.
story 2: Oh man, what happened to Applebloom? Must.. Know.. MOAR. Of course, I end up wanting to know more about Applejack and her family too. Bittersweet because of the ending, but in a good way.
Story 3: Nooo, Flutters, not alooone! A thousand hugs begins now! I like the idea of Fluttershy giving it a chance as long as anonymity is in place, she's definitely got some starch beneath the softness in the show so I could totally see something like this.
Story 4: Aiiie! Well, you can't win 'em all, and they made it count-- Still.. Aiieeee!
Story 5: Wow, that's definitely an original take on prophecies. It was sweet, and Twilight's concern was all.. D'aww. I seem to D'aww a lot for this stuff.
Story 6: "Needed to be needed" -- Isn't that just one of the best ways to describe those two in general? Gosh. And Pinkie, the glue that holds everypony together. Song-seeds, I like that word; just add musical number and nurture. I think this one was one of my favorites, it just captured them so, so well.
Story 7: Ooh, an intelligent Vinyl! She's all motion and dynamic energy to Twilight's studied, logical, linear methodology. Strange, but I like.
Story 8: Sweet, more of the previou---erk, ouch, ouch, oh, poor Twilight... Wait, self-sacrifice, oh man, bittersweet!
Tl;dr: How does this not have more love? These are incredible, especially with that time limit. Jeez, mah feels.
And the second half of my comentses!
Story 9: Holy crap, it's Sweetie Belle! Damn, I never would've thought of this combination... Although I'll bet Rarity weeps at the lack of fabulosity to be had in homespun robes. (Or are they all the rage, this season?)
Story 10: Ooh, more Pinkie Pie (So, so few people write her well enough for me to like her.) Good gads, how can you make me mourn Angel? I loathe the bunny. Loathe. Loathe. ....So saaaad!
Story 11: The prodigal marefriend, eh?
Story 12: ...HOLY **** o.o NUUUUUUU! Arghleblargle. Well-written, yes. Crushing my hopes and dreams, also yes!
Story 13: CMC! Yay! And yeah, Scoots has a point. Any sane stallion probably took one look at Ponyville and ran for the hills/clouds/cities.
Story 14: Now here's a Twilycorn story I can get behind. So much yes! Twilight, you and your.. Logic. Solid logic. Gosh. Just ruin the musical number, why don't you? (Take one for the team, you say?
) Dat ending-- This was another one of my absolute favorites. (Have you thought about posting a few of these as one-shots with the summary and art and all that jazz?)
Story 15: Woaaaaaaaah. How dystopian! Yeah, I'd love to see that fleshed out.
Story 16: Ohdamn. There's another one I wouldn't mind seeing more of.
Story 17: And then she made a million bits for inventing razor-scooters. How do you keep making weird-assed ships sound so awesome?
Story 18: That was just.. There are no words. It's like that hospital scene in, uh, what was the movie? World War II, where they try to kill the patients before the soliders get there. Just.. Yieeeee
2202015 ... The three things I seem to love when it comes to speed-writing are:
1) Ruining the norm in the best way I know how, because it helps develop my fragmented headcanon into something that could later be a story...
2) Crackshipping, because it's and, if done right, expands on my NoTP mentality. Plus, it's a nice way to complete charicterization, since you have to flesh out what you know about the characters in a way that they work together, which is a fun challenge in and of itself.
3) Making Pinkie Pie sad, because it doesn't happen enough and I love what it does to her mind...
Thanks for the comments, and I'm glad to hear that I give you some d'aww to go with the extra helping of pony-angst.
I don't much like Pinkie ships and/or the emotional fallout thereof -- Pinkie is so Pinkie that my brain can't conceive of her being in a serious relationship -- but you make it work here. I like the subtle way you introduce Pinkie as Rarity's erstwhile lover (the towel, the hairs on the comb, etc.).
2212354 I'm glad it worked, then. I can see what you mean about Pinkie being Pinkie bringing strain onto a relationship. I think the secret to writing a successful Pinkie ship is remembering that she is sometimes childish and playful and embracing that rather than steering away from it. Anyone in a relationship with Pinkie must have a certain tolerance for her shenanigans, and Pinkie, in turn, must become a bit more responsible and serious...
Anyhow, I appreciate your feedback. It's always nice to hear from you.
Ooh, that's tough.. The ambiguous ending was perfect, I think, and I'm not even sure which one I'd want it to be. Breakups are hard.
Thanks for the lovely additions!
Italics are a complete pain in the rear with this editor. That aside, nice work. It definitely feels like it could be expanded a bit to give a fuller picture of what's happening here, but the overall vibe is still solid.
Yay! Always glad to see more of these.
Maybes: Wow, I wish more authors would take the time to explore what it was like for the Apples, since they're shown without parents by the time AJ goes to Maehattan at pre-cutie-mark age. AJ makes the perfect straight-man in a story, but the sheer strength the Apples have as a family is just.. Yeah, none of the other families in the show have that kind of solidarity. ("You have a brother?")
Between Us: Sweet, more AJ.. I'm reminded how Fallout Equestria mentions an older AJ having hip problems too, and yeah, I can see that being a thing for Apples later in life. Then, oh man, arg, ow, my feels. Yeah, I'm glad to see a 'coming to terms with it and enjoying the time we have' sentiment, but it still makes me sniffly.
Between Light and Shadow: Eyep, if anyone would have a history of mental instability.. Self-doubt, and the border between brilliance and madness. Gosh, and taking her discorded form? Woah, that's just, cool. Luna and friendship save the day!
ApplePie, eh? Now that I think about it, that's a new one to me. I'm not really a fan of Pinkie or Pinkie ships in general, but I like the tangled emotions at play here.
Whoops, thought I remembered to post this when it came out. My bad.
Nightmares: Poor Fluttershy! Definitely good work on building up the suspense, and the comforting.. Oh man, right in the feels, eeyep. Flutters may have her own inner demons, but she's also got that circle of ponies who care for her. Beautifully done!
The Worst Month: I think I've already told you just how much I like your Pinkie Pie, but allow me to say it once again. I really, really like the way you express Pinkie Pie. I'll have to give Apple Pie a chance now. XD
Pie-Hard: I think I remember seeing a fic where fighting with pastry was explained in terms of actual battle, ah, what was it.. One of Cap'n Cryssalid's, I think, which had pastry duels. A fascinating concept, and if Over a Barrel was any indication, not entirely out of the realm of possibility. Pinkie's definitely WMD level.
As always, thanks for these single-serving-size ficlets, I enjoy 'em every time!
Well, before I get into any specifics,
That made my day. Pardon me while I grin like an idiot for a while.
Between all of these and To Love and Cherish, you seem to have a knack for hinting at much larger stories within a limited space. I suppose that is rather the nature of most of these 30-minute prompts, but you really do show skill with it. I would like to see what you could do with a slightly longer format.
My favorites out of this seem to line up pretty closely with the ones that feature Pinkie Pie. You write a very good Pinkie Pie. No two stories here covered the same side of Pinkie's personality, and each new angle was a fresh and interesting look at the way she thinks and behaves. Being Pinkie Pie is probably my favorite story in here; the tone, the characterization, and the word flow were a real treat to read.
You have introduced me to a handful of ships I've never read before today, most of them featuring aged-up CMCs. I'm usually not that wild about CMC romances, since underage makes me a little uncomfortable and the time-skip required to age them up usually isn't handled very well by the author, but you prove yourself quite capable of using the gap in time responsibly. The one where Apple Bloom pines over Pinkie Pie because Pinkie is with her sister instead of her is surprisingly touching.
Your thoughts on the season finale show through pretty clearly in the stories that feature Twilight. Those wings sure are a pain to write around, aren't they?
These were quite a lot of fun to read. You are a good writer, and there is a distressingly small number next to the word "followers" on your page, given the quality you write with. I believe I will do my own part to change that.
2311604 I'm glad i made your day (You've just totally made mine. Seriously.), and i really have to thank you for the wonderful introduction to Best Pony X Other Best Pony. And I definitely do try my best to build worlds in these stories... I sotr of use them to get my thoughts straight on various possibilities for longer-form stories that i haven't worked up the courage to actually write yet. I've been doing flash-fiction and speed-fiction since middle school, so I guess it's a part of my creative process now, which is great now that I'm doing it for our lovely girls in Ponyville.
I'm glad Pinkie Pie is working out for you over here. It's an adventure writing her, and I always feel that there's much more going on in her head than she ever really reveals. As such, it's always too much fun to throw her into new situations and see what she does... (How would she deal with her friends' relationship slowly falling apart, being responsible in the apocalypse, etc) because she attacks each problem she meets with determination, optimism, and her absolute, undivided attention, no matter how sad or hard that situation is. A Friend in Deed and Too Many Pinkies are two of my favorite episodes because they showcase that side of her, albeit in a lighter way than I trend in. Being Pinkie Pie and Spring Cleaning are definitely the two I'm the proudest of...
I'm ... glad(?) I'm introducing you to new ships, 'cause I'm a ship-happy maniac and proud of it. The CMCs fascinate me, and you might have noticed I'm a little bit obsessed with Apple Bloom... I really identify with them in their quests to find out what they're meant to do, since it took me a damn long time to come close to figuring that out myself. The possibilities of who they could become are ill-defined and thus endless, if you play it right. So it's always a treat to decide: Today, Sweetie's a preacher; or, Today, Apple Bloom's an architect. And since they look up to the Mane Six so much, I, as a ship-happy maniac, have no choice but to hook them up or lead them into unrequited longings for anyone they could possibly want. Like Pinkie Pie, because everyone loves Pinkie Pie. The age gap is the most fascinating part of any CMC- Mane Six ship, so I try to be careful; and I'm glad it comes through.
I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that Twilight has wings now, and I think most of my angst got worked out into the chapters that rant about her. I've resorted, for the moment, to simply adding wings on to the list of appendages I can use for her actions, because I figure she's probably about the same in other respects, but with more power and longer life and royal duties, whatever that entails. Might change, but that's hard to say.
I'm glad you've enjoyed reading these as much as I enjoy writing them. Thanks for your comments and support, and I hope you're having a great day, 'cause mine is definitely turning into one.
Kinda rough around the edges, but I do very much like this brave, hooves-on Fluttershy. The image of her sitting there covered in blood and pulling out a manticore cub is powerful indeed, and it contrasts charmingly with her enthusiastic response to Pinkie.
Also, one quibble:
Etymologically, "inhumane" is derived from "human," so it doesn't really fit. It's one of those nuisance words that's hard to ponify.
2317961 yeah... Inhumane is a problem. I was rushing for deadline on this one, and it definitely shows. I was using it mostly to start getting a better handle on Fluttershy for a longer story I have in the works right now, and it definitely suffers from having no real plot. So it goes.
Ooh! I love it when you update these.
Waiting: Mmh, it's always jarring to see AJ, the strong bulwark, laid low by something in any fic. And guilt, you really hit the nail on the head there-- Of course AJ will forgive her sister, but forgiving herself, that's the hard bit. Jeez, I'm amazed at how you can write this stuff (mostly) in thirty minutes. Amazed and maybe just a bit jealous. This is yet another one I hanker to see fleshed out, but I confess I love Apple family stuff.. Even when your insomnia dooms them, dooms them all.
Miracles: The opening reminded me how much Zecora is used as a plot device more often than she's treated like a real character. Of course, maybe that's because rhymes are so damn hard to write, heh. Actually, come to think of it, I'd love to see a backstory for the Everfree, too. Wild magic, weather, monsters.. Why? Maybe there's something like that out there and I just haven't come across it, yet. Oh, but that ending-- D'awwww! Once again you make Pinkie an epic character instead of one-dimensional slapstick.
J'adore, as always!
2322155 Zecora's rhymes are actually fairly easy for me to come up with... I think they were easily the quickest part of 'Miracles' to write down, probably due to my time spent with song lyrics. My problem here was that I didn't really know what she would do after alerting Fluttershy to the situation, since Fluttershy sorta took over the whole operation.
As for how I write these in nearly thirty minutes...
-- I type fast, especially when inspired.
-- I drink too much coffee. WAY too much coffee.
-- I start each story with a little nugget of truth. That way, I can relate enough to the situation that it all flows fairly naturally.
-- I tend to think through and plan out the general mood and arc of each piece before I actually sit down to write it. My brain spits out little fragments as I mull over possibilities and images while I work on other things, so by the time I actually sit down it's just a matter of putting the pieces in the right order.
I'm glad you're enjoying my dribbles of words, and thanks, as always, for your great feedback.
2322198 Well, Fluttershy may take over, but Zecora's into herbalism, yes? Maybe she's, ah, on-hand with life saving potions in case of hemmoraging or such. Either that or rhyming pep talk (You must push, and breathe very deep. Watching childbirth is giving me the creeps.)
Ah, good tips, though! My new years resolutions were to try writing (and posting, since I tend to panic at people seeing my work) a fic, and to becoming less of a lurker and more involved in the community. So far, I have yet to be able to force myself into the writing bit, but at least I've been proofreading and trying to comment more often, which is something!
2322436 Herr Burr Durrrr!... My brain forgot about herbalism in the midst of all the everything else, it would seem. And shamaness cheerleading would have been amusing to say the least.
Proofreading and commenting is definitely the way to start easing into the writing process. It helped me with finding exactly what I liked and didn't like as far as writing was concerned, before I actually made myself sit down and write something. It also may have helped that I did some stuff early on for the Collab Cage, which helped me get my gears turning.
I definitely look forward to anything you feel up to posting in the future, and if you need a second set of eyes feel free to poke me.
I see, this would make for a neat, yet sad, longer story. With either a bitter-sweet, tragic, or possibly a happy ending. There are certainly many options open for you with this idea. I look forward to the multi-chapter fic
Food For Thought: Ah! Now there's an interesting pairing.. A highly kinetic character like Scootaloo and a more reserved one like Silver? That's got potential for some pretty explosive interactions. What made me think more, though, was the cutie mark idea (mainly because I just read Bookplayer's latest thoughts on cutie marks and destiny in general) and just how much a cutie mark influences a pony's life... Not even getting into the 'her name is Silver Spoon, and she has a silver spoon for a cutie mark, how does that even work' thing.
If you're curious, the folks on that thread managed to put out some pretty well-stated ideas and thoughts, much better than I can manage.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/145906/thoughts-on-cutie-marks
Frankly, I like the idea of a Silver Spoon who loves cooking. I've seen her a few times as a silversmith/jewelry maker, too.
Thanks as always for more pony pony pony!
2333035 That's some interesting stuff over there. I have seen all the Silver Spoon as a silversmith things floating around, but for some reason I like her better as a cook. I think I may have been hungry while writing this, or it may come from the same place in my brain that says Griffon Chefs like Gustave from Mmmystery are as highly revered as the greates warriors...
An interesting ship indeed. For some reason, I find Silver Spoon far cuter than Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon "reformation" stories are fun. I also like the idea of Chef Silver Spoon. It's a nice twist on her cutie mark, and it opens up a lot of potential story possibilities.
Also:
I've had a lot of guildies, etc., address me as Silv.
2333588 Silv, eh? Sudden Coincedence! (That's actually pretty awesome.)
I likewise find Solver Spoon to be adorable, and therefore she's the one I tend to write about when I'm hankering for some bully-redemption.
The Tiara: There's nothing wrong with a good bit of fluff. Honestly, I'm starting to get worried, a lot of the season-compliant Twi shipfics are really taking a pretty bleak line on things; Twilight outliving everyone, Twilight having to choose duty over being happy, Twilight freaking out (oh wait, that's normal, for her.) Anyways, this gets at the heart of the reason I love AJ so much as a character.. Because she can be all 'Okay, dramatics blah blah blah are you done yet? This is how it really is."
Although, just sayin', that time travel idea does look interesting!
Between 350 (which was aweeeesome) and that one where she accidentally goes ten years into the future, it might be fun to see things done the other way around!
2336738 I have enough drama IRL that I just wanted a nice, uncomplicated feels-fest. So I made it happen. Also, that's why AJ is best pony... she ain't give a damn about nobody's bullshit. Which is awesome.
Close Enough: Wow, jeez, you have ways of describing a sleeping character that I've never even considered. I guess the changelings won in the end, didn't they?
I'm not sure how to feel about it, though.. Since I have almost zero attachment to Cadance and Shining Armor annoys me. Mostly it still hits me in the feels, but there's still that small, irreverent part of me that wants to point and laugh, just a little bit.
2342063 I see this as happening several years after Shining's death, when Cadence is lonely enough to deceive herself with the imitations CHrysalis would provide... I think it wasn't really the point to bring in feelings so much as thoughts... I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this, honestly. It's been one of those crazy days where absolutely nothing makes sense and everything is glorious because of it.
I also feel nothing when it comes to Cadence and Shining Armor, which drives my brother to no end of crazy. Pointing and laughing is a perfectly reasonable response to this, in a way. Part of me is thinking:
"HEY, YA DUMB BROAD, FIND SOMEPONY ELSE TO MAKE THE SMOOCHES WITH! ISN'T IT YOUR JOB OR SOMETHIN"??" about this. So laugh away, 'cause it's incredibly stupid of her.
Aww, that was sweet and fluffy.
Certainly a bleak picture of an immortal desperate to regain even a taste of what time took from her, no matter how imperfect or depraved. I'm not really a fan of Cadance or Shining, but the premise here is pleasantly chilling.
Hooray indeed. Celestia has always struck me as being rather slippery, and it's always fascinating to see the less-than-magnanimous emotions break through that smiling white facade.
2356349 The way Celestia acted when Discord showed up made me wonder a bit how she would have reacted to his goading if her little ponies weren't there to make her keep her cool. And Queen Chrysalis totally embarassed her in front of the nobles of Canterlot and could have destroyed her relationship with Twilight. So I imagine it's the sort of thing that would make Celestia go off her chain a bit. The possibility that Chrysalis just moves into the next queen's body after death has always tickled my fancy, so when I put the two ideas together I got Celestia repeatedly torturing Chrysalis to death, which is always fun. Glad you enjoyed her borderline madness as much as I did.
2356763
The way she reacts to Discord is particularly intriguing. It's one of the few times where we see her openly surprised and angry.
Justice: Oh heck yeah, badass Celestia is the bestia. Sure, it's the top of a slippery slope and the next thing you know she'll be the Tyrant Sun Corona or, uh, Daymare McSunnybutt or something... Still! It's awesome because she's beating the sh*t out of Chrysalis.
And yes, I agree with Silvernis about the whole 'smiling white facade' thing-- But she said it better, so I'll stick with 'Woo! Smackdown!'
[c]rush: Oh good, something light-hearted! I don't have too much to say on this one, other than the fact that I really dig the baking analogy.. The fact that she can bake does imply Pinkie's capable of waiting when the results are important, eyep. Me, I get all impatient. I never manage to let it cool before trying to eat it, too, heh.
Also, Flutterpie reminds me of Butter Pie, like from that Beatles song, Uncle Albert.
(The butter didn't melt so I put it in a pie!)
Almanac: Oh, Discord, you're such a troll.
But hey, seltzer springs would be pretty handy to have around the farm. Mmm, seltzer.
Spring, eh?
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130213005641/fallout/images/d/dd/Oh-you-93067263235.jpeg
2367676
eeeyup. That kinda week around here...
Not a pairing I ever would have thought of...but the way you handled it was perfect. I wouldn't mind reading more of these two together, if done with the skill you posses. :D
Now to the next one.~
Okay, you caught my interest with this one. I can't help but feel a sense of dread as I wonder "W-what happened to Applebloom?" I feel, if you ever wanted to, you could probably flesh this out into a multi chapter story.
Onto the next one~
An interesting contrast between Fluttershy and her mother's personality. Not much in flesh, but what is there was a good read. It was a wonderful and sweet moment between mother and child.
First thought that comes to mind has to be "Poor Apple family." In a short amount of time, they lost generations of work and memories. Though, they aren't the only victims. Another interesting drabble.
Lol! Okay, this has to be my favorite drabble so far. And not only because I have a soft spot for Luna. Best use of Twilight 's paranoia, and for turning Starswirl into another Dumbledore. Loved it waaay too much.
I personally see no problem with polygamy, as long as it is about equality and not about enslaving. Which is why I think it would make sense that Pinkie Pie would get it, of all ponies. She knows love is way more complicated. And I can honestly get her notion on love. In fact, when I use Pinkie in pairings...that pretty much is the problem. Everypony thinks she loves everybody equally, and that's why she could never love them...and so on and so on.