Timed Ramblings

by Midnight herald

Dear Friends

Dear friends,

Please understand why I had to leave. Why I can never let you see me again. Why I can never let you find me, for as long as you keep looking. I know you brought me back, I know you found me and you freed me and you saved me, but I’m too different now from the Rarity you all knew. And the Rarity I’ve become is not one I would subject you to for any reason, for any price. This will sound hollow, but I did this because I love each and every one of you so much.

I have never felt so helpless as when I was their prisoner. I tried to remain strong, tried to remain defiant and powerful and proactive, just like you all believed I could be. But nothing worked, nothing helped. Being ladylike doesn’t do it for Changelings. They move right through defiance, right through bravery, and they take exactly what they need. My wits in the end did nothing but cause me more pain for my struggles, until, finally, hope shook out its dusty feathers and flew away for a safer home. And there was nothing left but my love for you five and my own stubborn pride. And then my pride broke too, broke to the point where I couldn’t even see the fragments of it lying in the dirty cell with me, and there was just love. Just food for my captors.

I knew you would save me, sometime, somehow. With ponies as resouceful and dedicated as Twilight and Fluttershy, as optimistic and surefooted as Applejack, as determined as Rainbow Dash, I thought, how could they not? How could these beautiful ponies, these heroes that I love with all my being, how could they fail? It was only a matter of time. And yet time and time again, they would come in, wearing your skins, and feed. Time after time I would see a rescue, and my tired exuberance would be siphoned out before I was left alone once more.

And after all these months of you all coming by and spending time with me, helping me heal, I finally realized that I will never get over this, especially not if you are the ponies helping me. Love is built on trust, and I can no longer trust myself. How many times in the past weeks have I attacked one or another of you in “self-defense”? How many times have you talked me through nightmares of yourselves draining me, hurting me, and had to lie and say that everything was fine? How many times have I looked upon your faces and known that this was all a lie, was all a dream, that you were still the bugs that kidnapped me even now? I tell you now, far too many to be healthy, far too many to be stopped.

So please, promise me you won’t come looking for me. Pinkie Promise. Because sometimes love is about sacrifice, and I am so terribly, horribly selfish. None of this is your fault, I promise. I love you so much, and I wish you whatever health happiness I can send your way. You five deserve each other and the happiness that you bring each other daily. Thank you for all you’ve given me...

Best wishes,
Rarity

Author's Note:

Prompt 320: Rarity tells her friends that she’s in love with them. All of them.

So yeah - this one came out darker than I expected. I must have spent an hour staring at the blank doc before finally getting my thoughts together. I live about 2 1/2 miles from the Boston Marathon finish line, and I could see the National Guard and police cordoning off the streets and turning the runners away. No one I know got hurt or affected, and I know I'm very lucky in that regard... but I was definitely still processing that when I wrote this. yeah...

Comments

[DarkwingSnark]

I note that there was no praise for Pinkie. Which amused me. It's like i imagined Rarity just looking blank as she was trying to figure out what to say. "And as for Pinkie Pie..........That is all, really."

Other than that, I can see how the newest tragedy was working in your subconciousness. It really adds to just how pained rarity was. How she was hurt far too deeply, and needed to escape. Hopefully time will heal her wounds, and she will return to her loved ones.