<

torrentialCAM

Joined January 2012
18 followers

Stories (3)

  • Running From Myself
    The way others perceive us can affect how we perceive ourselves, and the results are rarely pretty.

    12,335 words · 9,999 views · 180 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Last Sparkles Of Time
    A tragic loss will set the future on a ruinous course - is it ever too late to change the future?
    18,453 words · 805 views · 14 likes · 0 dislikes
  • The Inferno Within
    Sometimes friendship is taxed and tested. Other times, it is forged in fire.
    6,874 words · 377 views · 12 likes · 2 dislikes

The way others perceive us can affect how we perceive ourselves, and the results are rarely pretty. When a couple of Canterlot ponies from her past come to Ponyville, Twilight has a difficult time revisiting a traumatic event from her foalhood.

*Now on Equestria Daily! Thanks are in order to the pre-reader(s) who put their time aside for this story. Final scene changed from "alternate ending" to "epilogue", and extended, because sometimes we only think of scenes after things see publish.

Reading by Obabscribbler: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bitGUNZKNmU

First Published
27th Jan 2012
Last Modified
27th Jan 2012

Comments ( 63 )

#1 · Chapter 2 · 137w, 5d ago · · ·

Sad,  but I like it.

#2 · Chapter 1 · 137w, 5d ago · · ·

Anyone read Scootaloo dash fanfic?I nearly laughed my ass off at "tasting the rainbow"

Nice ,moving and deep story.Thank you.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 137w, 5d ago · · ·

:fluttershysad:

That was beautiful:yay:

#4 · Chapter 2 · 137w, 5d ago · · ·

:applecry: Very nice story.

#5 · Chapter 2 · 137w, 5d ago · · ·

As someone who's been bullied and picked on in the past...

I just...there are no words.

This story really made me tear up.

All I can say is...

Thank you.

#6 · Chapter 2 · 137w, 5d ago · · ·

:heart::heart::heart::heart::derpyderp1:

#7 · Chapter 1 · 137w, 5d ago · · ·

A wonderfully unique take on Twilight's school days. Normally, the fics I read have Twilight and the other students have a neutral relation. But in this one, Twilight gets bullied and thus developes OCD? Five Stars!

#8 · Chapter 2 · 137w, 4d ago · · ·

Beautiful. That's all that needs to be said.

#9 · Chapter 1 · 137w, 3d ago · · ·

Nice work man. This is really well done.

#10 · Chapter 1 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

sweet shit

#11 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 6d ago · · 1 ·

does she kill herself in ch2

#12 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

I think, when it comes down to it, fics like this are the best sort.

Don't get me wrong; I'm all for adventurous fics or romance fics and sometimes the occasional crossover  or a tactfully-handled grimdark. They're all good.

But this, this kind of simple, almost episodic thing? This is what the show is all about. And it doesn't need to be any more complex than this--pure, honest, emotional, but completely and entirely beautiful in its simplicity. So there are some pretty amazing adventure fics and some pretty gripping mysteries and some pretty endearing romances, but all of those are fluff--things we as writers, as people, impose on their world because they're part of our frame of reference. And I'm guilty of that, too; I write that kind of stuff.

This is what the show is about. This is what the fandom is about. It's so... refreshing to see something like this.

You have my deepest gratitude.

#13 · Chapter 1 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

Pretty good. Would you mind if I gave this a review for my webcast? Feel free to say no.

#14 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

>>181667

Go right on ahead. :yay:

#15 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

The situation is unfortunately realistic, tragic and unfortunately... very dangerous when the target is a super-powered unicorn with massive, cosmic powers.

#16 · Chapter 1 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

Why I see brackets and squares and other symbols everywhere?

#17 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

>>181785

I'm not sure. I just checked after reading your post, thinking I might have misplaced an italics bracket or something, but there's nothing of the sort on my screen. I know the kind of thing you mean, but it might just be an error in the way the page loaded for you or something.

#18 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

This was beautiful. As LysanderasD already said, these are the best sort of fics, the ones that deal with the characters struggling through a situation - struggling with themselves, even - and trying to find the means to pull through. That takes skillful writing to do well, and you have displayed it here. Thank you.

#19 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

This was absolutely marvelous! It was very beautiful and moving.

#20 · Chapter 1 · 136w, 6d ago · · ·

I'd be emotional if I could!

Nice story, excellent writing!

#21 · Chapter 1 · 136w, 5d ago · · ·

When twilight sat that "I caused a tree to burst into flames. Right down to the bark."  wouldn't it make more sense to say heartwood? I mean the bark is the outside and would be the firs bit to burn and all.

Enjoyed the piece. Keep up the work!

#22 · Chapter 1 · 136w, 5d ago · · ·

Princess Trollestia strikes again!

Great fic though :D 5/5

#23 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 5d ago · · ·

>>183127

You've got a point. The image I had in my mind was that the leaves catch fire, and then it spreads right down to the body of the tree, but your suggestion makes more sense overall. It'll be done! :rainbowdetermined2:

#24 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 5d ago · · ·

I enjoyed everything BUT the last part.

Rarity trying to get them fired? No. Nononono.

#25 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 5d ago · · ·

>>183221

I understand what you mean, but I attempted to play it in such a way that it didn't involve any of the mane six taking direct action against the two (Because countering bullying with bullying leads to a broken aesop), but rather Opal doing what cats generally do because of a mistake. I look at it as more like laser-guided karma, or having some nasty mares get knocked down a well-deserved peg. It wouldn't be in Rarity's nature to actively destroy the film herself, but there's not too much she can do at this point about it.

#26 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 5d ago · · ·

>>181482

She should.

#27 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 5d ago · · ·

wow...all i can say is wow, its a little strong for children, but it relates well to older audiences... good work. Although my praise can only be taken with a grain of salt as I have not written anything at all.

#28 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 5d ago · · ·

>>183244

Yes, I did misread that part. Still, not sure how to feel about that.

After all, they got banned from Celestia's school after picking on Twilight.Now after meeting Twilight again they're going to be fired from that job as well. They had something coming, all right- but that?

I wouldn't be suprised if they come to the conclusion Twilight's responsible for that as well; Especially if they ever learn just where they lost their film, and how.

#29 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 5d ago · · ·

so

many

tears

were

shed

:fluttercry::pinkiesad2::applecry:

I love the story

#30 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 5d ago · · ·

>>183221

She didn't DO anything. They left their cameras there and Opalescence destroyed the film in their camera.

She was just observing that what goes around comes around---

Though I do have to counter-point: they may have been awful and cruel as fillies, but on the other hand they spent <I>their entire lives</i> paying for that childhood cruelty. They lost their place in the most prestigious school in Equestria, and with it every higher opportunity they might have aspired to. How long should someone keep paying for something they did as a child?

Perhaps as long as they keep refusing to change what they do.

#31 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 5d ago · · ·

>>183734

Yes, and I already admitted I misread that part.

#32 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 4d ago · · ·

Wow, this was a wonderful tale of Twilight getting to move on and grow. Thank you for sharing it.

#33 · Chapter 1 · 136w, 3d ago · · ·

Well written, good job.

#34 · Chapter 1 · 136w, 2d ago · · ·

Ah psyche, always an interesting topic.

I thoroughly enjoyed this. Great characterization, good dialogue, original plot and true emotion.

5 stars to you!

#35 · Chapter 1 · 136w, 1d ago · · ·

I very much feel for Twi on this one, and to a not much lesser extent Cheerilee.  Been there.  In both positions.  It's one thing to have to go through that yourself and only realize 10+ years after the fact just how much of a mess it's left you.  Possibly the only thing more depressing is watching it replay itself on another kid right in front of you.  And sadly, teachers don't have the kind of authority Celestia did to expel students for bullying unless it gets violent, nor the foresight to know just how long-term the damage can be.

The only thing I'd point out is that Twilight probably has read enough law books to know the exact implications of Lesson Zero.  I mean they're enormous, soul-crushing tomes of needlessly complex language.  That's right up her alley!  :twilightsheepish:

#36 · Chapter 2 · 136w, 1d ago · · ·

Wow, you've done a very good job. I must confess I hate any sort of bullying and if I could I'll do.. Well, nasty things :trixieshiftleft:

Let's say, you really got a reaction from me :twilightsheepish:. I love how you interpreted Twilight's breakdown (though I still want to believe it doesn't happen to her for real... Not real, real but.. You know what I mean :pinkiehappy:)

That was very touching and I really like how Twilight sort it all out. Much better than basic revenge. That's kind of obvious, but I think it's worth pointing out !

I like how Celestia handled it. That was a pretty long shot though, but she's sort of cunning.. ?

Anyway, I'm glad I wasn't unnerved at the end of the story. Actually, I'm quite in peace with the world and myself right now, thank you for that :twilightsmile:

#37 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 4d ago · · ·

>>181672

Finally got around to it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp5xk_9RGvI&feature=colike

Sorry it took so long, my computer crashed

#38 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 4d ago · · ·

>>208327

Thanks a lot for your attention :twilightsmile:

By the way, the part where the bullies try to get sympathy was indeed intended to backfire and make them look worse. Rarity is kind of my author-surrogate at that point when she reminds them that anything bad that happened to them in the flashback is their own fault.

#39 · Chapter 2 · 133w, 2d ago · · ·

I can relate to this story. I was bullied a lot at school and it was not pretty. Excellent story.

#40 · Chapter 1 · 131w, 5d ago · · ·

I know how Twilight feels. I went thought the same thing in 8th grad. My early years school was quit normal but once 8th grad hit. It was the darkest times. I was pick on contently. I kept getting jump and end up fighting back to defend myself. I was send to detention for self defense. Which is really mess up. It actually still bugs me today because I will get flash back once in awhile.

I'm surprise I didn't shoot up the school. I'm glad I didn't because I'm pretty happy where I'm am now.:rainbowwild:

    

#41 · Chapter 2 · 131w, 2d ago · · ·

:twilightsmile::heart::twilightsmile:

What can I honestly say about this?  It is AMAZING!  The introspective of Twilight and the origins of her OCD hang-ups, Rarity defending her, Cherilee's talk, it's all so GREAT!

And let's not forget: “They’re gonna learn that if you buck with my friends, you’re gonna taste the Rainbow!”  Awesome line. :rainbowdetermined2:

Massive applause to you!!!!

And in all honesty, I was bullied in middle school, so seeing my personal favorite character in this situation hits close to home, but in a good way.  It just lets me connect with the story more.  Many of us have been in this situation, and it lets us really feel for the character.  It's a major point in your favor for an already great story.

#42 · Chapter 1 · 129w, 4d ago · · ·

I relate all to well to this. Being a kid with ADHD (which is common), with neurotic tendencies didn't help me much in elementry school. I got picked on not only by students but even my 3rd grade teacher. He hated my guts, made a point to call me out in class, and this made the kids smell the weakness. Ironically I had my own Celestia. It wasn't until I decided to throw a chair at the teacher to say I will not suffer anymore I got the help I needed. Rather than being expelled the principle talked to me, transfered me to another teacher and suddenly I had earned some respect for taking a stand against a mean teacher. I recently got to run into both the teacher and my elementary principle. I must say that it was amazing to feel so liberated to know that asshole actually lost his license because he was such a mean teacher. Its weird to think how much our child hood really influences who we are...

Oh and for you story, I thought it was amazing and just a perfect amount of trollestia...:trollestia:

#43 · Chapter 1 · 126w, 1d ago · · ·

Someone tell me how do you bloody add stuff to favourites because I need to add this story to it.

#44 · Chapter 1 · 126w, 23h ago · · ·

you know ive only had one incdent that was related like what twilight happend to and it was awful i cant even begin to imagin how bad it was for her:fluttershyouch: thankfully i started to read like twilight and made some friends execpt not enough happend ot me to mess with my mind crap i wish twilight fried them or celestia sent them to the moon in retribution

#45 · Chapter 2 · 126w, 23h ago · · ·

i still wish they got sent to the moon

TO THE MOON:trollestia:

#46 · Chapter 1 · 124w, 4d ago · · ·

I am really annoyed at FIMfiction for merging "Favorites" and "Read Later", as it cheapens the meaning and qaulity of your ACTUAL favorites. I don't have time to finish this tonight, but it looks like this is going in my Favorites via what "Favorites" actually means :twilightsmile:

I hope to have a more in-depth and quality review when I have the time later on :twilightsmile::ajsmug::yay::rainbowdetermined2::raritystarry::pinkiehappy:

#47 · Chapter 1 · 124w, 4d ago · · ·

Well done sir that was a moving story. I give it 5/5 Keep up the great work :twilightsmile:

#48 · Chapter 2 · 105w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

>>183734

Apologies for the late reply, but I just stumbled over this fic.

As for your question, well I'd be more sympathetic of them 'still paying for a fillyhood mistake' if when the first time they meet Twilight Sparkle they didn't immediately fall back into the same hurtful behaviors.  And Twilly spent just as long 'paying' for their petty cruelty to her, to the point she is just climbing out of that pit.  The fact they can't learn from that mistake proves they shouldn't be around that kind of power, for their own sake as well as their potential victim's.

And it should be pointed out getting Blanchette and Maylene out of Celestia's school arguably is saving their lives.  Deliberately antagonizing a unicorn of Twilight's power to the point she looses control is quite possibly Darwin Award territory.  Imagine the gruesome results of a pony more inclined to lash out at an attack.

IMHO this could be read as more than Celestia trying to get Twilight over her issues.  It was also a test of character for Blanchette and Maylene.  If they shown they had grown up, understood how wrong and hurtful that 'joke' was, well I'm sure Celestia might have slipped some opportunities their way.  But instead they shown they hadn't grown up at all emotionally and flunked their test of character rather spectacularly.

#49 · Chapter 1 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

I'd read this before I got an account, and I've just read it again.  This description of how being bullied makes one feel brought me to tears, remembering my own wondering why they wouldn't just leave me alone?!?

So, thumbed and fav'd.

#50 · Chapter 1 · 94w, 3d ago · · ·

*Gives Twilight a hug.* I feel your pain....

0 8454 25541
Login or register to comment