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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Bravo!
Earlier today I came across a story that shows Celestia as the strong ruler defending her homeland, here you show the other side of Her Serene Majesty, the vulnerable side. I do see her feeling that way, the sorrow. Thank you for sharing this.
In the Name of Her Serene Majesty,
Celestia's Paladin, For Honor and Duty, For the Sun and Moon
It’s good, really, but I found it kind of hard to get into, it wasn't very engaging; I think so because you were writing fight scene with little to no sense of urgency... anyway three and a half stars.
It's quite good. The only problems of note were awkward phrasing. Otherwise the sad Celestia is pretty well done. Good job.
162415
-bows- Thank you.
162464
I always assumed she had an extremely vulnerable side, especially when it came to her sister. She can't be badass all the time, haha. Thank you.
162574
I was kinda paranoid that it would seem super rushed during the fight scene, so I avoided that as much as possible. But you're right; urgency was probably the best vibe to try to achieve here. Later on, I might redo this/touch it up, once I let it fester for a while. Thank you. I'm always looking to improve.
162589
I have this tendency to write really lengthy, drawn-out sentences. The awkward phrasing probably got caught up in there. :/ I'll definitely work on that. Thank you!
Sometimes it seems the best stories are those that get so little attention. Would you be willing, perhaps, to write a sequel to this, describing Celestia's first night with Luna back?
You capture her sorrow so well, I wonder if perhaps you could open a window into the shining warmth of her joy in turn.
603147
Oh, wow. Thank you so much! You've actually given me a great idea about a sequel and I seriously want to write it.
....
....
yesplease.
I loved the flashback with Nightmare Moon the most. It really shows how naive Celestia was as a ruler and how Luna's envy was justified.
604390 I just looked at your stories and I see no sequel, so just wondering if you changed your mind.