This is a collection of short stories in which I carefully avoid using cliché fanfiction responses to certain situations. It will also serve as practice writing characters that I may not be comfortable putting into a larger story yet, so feedback is appreciated.
If anyone has a suggestion for a cliché I should avoid, let me know in the comments, and I will consider writing a story in which I don't use it.
Below is the current list of stories and which clichés I'm avoiding in them.
The Great and Powerful Shopkeep [Slice of Life] - Twilight and Trixie love/hate relationship
D.R.P. Mail [Slice of Life][Random]?(I don't really know what to define this one as.) - "Derpy not being clumsy while delivering mail." - SuperChaosKG
Performance [Slice of Life] - Octavia and Vinyl Scratch love/hate relationship
Aww, I liked this. Great concept you've got going here—more writers should take efforts to avoid cliches.
Personally, I'd like to see a story with Celestia and Luna that successfully avoids the ridiculous number of cliches that surround those two. Trollestia, Molestia, Cakelestia, gamer Luna, Luna-who-breaks-down-and-cries-whenever-anyone-mentions-her-banishment-and-the-same-goes-for-Celestia...
2121663 I'm glad you liked it. I also have to make sure that if the Princesses try to do something simple, they don't have a really difficult time with it.
To those who don't like it, yes I'm talking to you downvoters who provided no explanation of why you downvoted, I suggest trying my other stories, which are not at all like this one. In fact, Baking Cupcakes opens with a cliché, so how about that?
A quick, light read that doesn't happen as often as I'd like to see. Twixie might be my OTP but it's great to see a quick exchange between these two characters that doesn't devolve into sudden, life-shattering revelations or smoochieness.
And really, Trixie kinda strikes me as the Weasley brothers from Harry Potter. Perhaps not the best at magic, but they sure do know how to sell a product!
Nice work!
2121727 Thanks! I'm not opposed to Twixie myself, but it's so overused that it needed someone to write something like this.
Okay, we could have the Alicorn-wakes-up-in-Ponyville-doesn't-know-who-he/she-is cliche, or the Twilestia Twilight-sends-a-letter cliche, or the Rainbow Dash-spends-all-her-time-in-Twilight's-house-because-she-loves-her cliche.
Also, this looks like a rather good story so far. Well done!
Derpy not being clumsy while delivering mail.
It might be a challenge but I think it's good.
I pretty much expected you to avoid Lyra's human obsession once she appeared. :P
Also noticed how Derpy isn't a muffin-lover here.
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Twilight... do you need your eyes checked...?
Alrighty then. Cliche suggestions...
How about give Diamond Tiara... character. I mean, the public LOVE Silver Spoon. Hell, to me, Silver Spoon is best pony, but DT? Not many see her as a pony, only a bullying monster. A day through her normal life showcasing her as a living being and NOT a device created to torture the CMC would be appreciated.
2270948 Lyra never said she wanted to change herself into a unicorn. This is not the first time they've had a conversation about the subject. (Okay, I kinda kept the obsessive Lyra cliché, just not about humans)
2271686
Speaking of which, she's also wrong in saying that there is not magic to turn earth ponies into unicorns,
Think.
Discord turned all six of them into earth ponies once. But since magic is a science in this world (with rules and limitations and such) said spell could theoretically reverse-engineered. If Twilight can do that since it was Discord and all, is ambiguous, but considering her alicorn status now, maybe she's just screwing with Lyra...
But enough of my science! The real deal: You should make the fact that Lyra doesn't want to change HERSELF more clear.
Now, why can I write this well here, but not in school?
2272396 Discord removed their wings and horns, but there's more to being an earth pony than just not having those things. They have a special connection to the land that pegasi and unicorns simply do not have.
I also hold that Discord has his own set of rules when it comes to magic, since Celestia and Twilight couldn't do anything about any of his changes. However, Twilight may be wrong in using such absolute terminology.
Finally, since I specified that Lyra was a unicorn when Twilight invited her in, I don't think it's necessary to elaborate on who the horn would actually be for. I'll leave that up to the reader.
Ultimately, it doesn't really matter that much anyway, as this story is about Derpy, not Lyra.
...now I'm going to have to write one about Lyra, aren't I?
A series of cliches I'd like to see avoided are the ones pretty much surrounding every single Changeling story. you know what I mean?
*Changeling wants to start new life in Ponyville/is injured, must be looked after.
*Changelings are the victims of pony oppression.
*Changelings all come from Hives. (There's not evidence supporting this at all. For all we know, their society and culture is almost identical to Equestria's.)
*This is a reiteration of no.2, that ponies are pretty much the Third freaking Reich when it comes to Changelings. Basically, they are the most bigoted, brutish and over-the-top evil creatures in the world and want to giggle with glee while they dance in Changeling blood and want to commit a Changeling genocide. Yeah... THOSE fanfictions, which I despise with a passion.
I loath those cliches.
I just wanna emphazise how it's the last point I hate the most. I don't know why, but i just find it hard sometimes to understand why so many authors do it. I mean, if they wanna show it from a Changeling perspective that's cool, but why do they feel the need to demonize ponies to the utmost extreme in order to do it? For a cheap knee-jerk emotional response? Because they like a good underdog story?
I can definitely imagine the ponies in no way being the Changelings biggest fans after the invasion, but that kind of cautiousness and distrust is perfectly reasonable and understandable. I just don't see the ponies deploying the kind of Gestapo, Extermination Camp and pretty much the Third Reich allegory that so many authors try to use happening. But what's worse is that the ponies get blamed for almost EVERYTHING. Whatever misfortunes the Changelings have faced, like WHY they had to invade in the first place, or the ponies just defending themselves against the invasion, it's always the ponies fault somehow.
I mean, if the stereotypical self-righteous "freedom fighting" Changeling ever did for once ask why ponies didn't like them, the non cliched response should be, "Dude... you invaded our country, with the sole intention sucking, us and our loved ones dry. Buck-you."
2274327 Excellent points. I'll give it some thought. I think if I do write it I'll likely wind up making it a longer story on its own rather than including it in this one. I'll just put a link to it in the description if I do decide to go that way with it.
First reaction: Mild Surprise
Final Reaction: Mild but Pleasant Surprise
An interesting cliche would be Rainbow's sexuality. I know she has been shipped with everypony and the kitchen sink, but a story, somehow involving her sexuality, without it being cliche, would be interesting. I mean, she's almost always portrayed as a lesbian. That, or deniening being one, or being bisexual. She just seems to get every end of the scale. Not sure how you would do it though. And going off that, you could explore all of the more common fannon ships, form Bon-Bon x Lyra to Twilight x Luna.
But thinking about it, you should do something with the Celestia cliches. There's Trollestia, Mollestia, Tyrant Celestia.... You could do a piece of Celestia just being the ruler of a nation.
2361849 I'll have to think about that with RD. Not sure how to avoid a cliché on the subject of her sexuality when the subject has been so incredibly thoroughly explored in almost every angle and position one can think of.
As for Celestia, sort of a One Day in the Life of Princess Sunnybutt - er - Celestia? Kind of the pinnacle of [Slice of Life] on that one. I may just do that at some point.
Fantastic. It's rare to see a Twixie where they aren't biting at each others throats or being tsundere.
Twilight's and Pinkie's sexualities are also commonly cliched. Twilight is always an ignorant virgin and Pinkie is open about her sexuality, and typically bisexual.
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Might you have heard this before you wrote this?
2380234 I had not. I like it.
Going out of your way to avoid clichés? That's a tad... cliché.
2723541 Ah, you caught me. This is the most deliberately cliché of all my stories for that very reason. My other stories may use clichés, but only because I thought the situations would work out that way. Now that someone's seen through my scheme, I guess I'll just have to mark it as complete and never add to it again...
Okay, I'll mark it as complete, but that doesn't mean I won't add to it again.
I've read few stories involving Trixie, so I'm not familiar with the clichés surrounding her, but this was well written. The narration is accurate and you've mastered said tags.
It was nice and touching to see Trixie finding 'a place to belong,' discussing freely (though for a very short amount of time) with Twilight. It was also cute to see her rear in excitement. Nice use of the first person when she mentions the amulet, too.
I liked these lines;
'Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, was preparing another musical number, and Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Little Strongheart were trying to talk her out of it. She sincerely hoped they would succeed,'
'A tumbleweed blew across the road right in front of her, shaking her out of her thoughts,'
'whoever owned the shop clearly cared a great deal about appearances,'
'When Twilight made no move to answer the question they had both asked, Trixie did,'
'“They sparkle very brightly,” Trixie said defensively'
and
' Trixie reared again, laughing maniacally.'
Another good chapter. I noticed the format is different from the two others; no blank line between paragraphs. I don't know if it's deliberate. Same with the double spaces (at least as far as fimfiction.net is concerned) before each sentence.
I feel it's less clichés and more memes you've avoided in this chapter.
Twilight might have been the only nice pony (besides Derpy) featured in this story. Though the other's reaction to no more crashing were understandable, especially Rainbow Dash's, who can be a pretty big jerk.
I feel a few 'X said' can be removed when there's a dialogue between only two people and it was made clear who said the previous line. For example;
'“No one likes me,” Derpy said quietly.
“That’s what you said the last time you were here,” Twilight said.'
'Twilight said' isn't necessary.
I liked these lines;
'While nothing was unusual about that, the smile that usually accompanied those eyes was conspicuously absent,'
'She gave up on the word and angrily gestured to her eyes,'
'Derpy let out a bitter laugh. “It can’t be worse than being this clumsy,”'
'“Please, just try. I can’t stand it anymore. I just want to be like everyone else,”'
'However, in light of the conversation they’d just had, she couldn’t bring herself to tell Derpy to just sit down somewhere out of the way,'
'The largest smile Twilight had ever seen on a pony other than Pinkie Pie spread across Derpy’s face,'
'Derpy pushed aside a sudden flash of anger,'
'Derpy forced a smile and agreed,'
'She flew away, leaving Rainbow still fumbling for an answer,'
'Twilight opened it to find one of the most excitable ponies she’d ever known,'
'Twilight said, hoping she wouldn’t get another ridiculous question about magic,'
'“I’d rather be me than mean”"
and
'After the magic faded, Derpy opened her eyes. One eye focused on Twilight. The other drifted up to look at the ceiling. She smiled.'
A short chapter, but a strong one all the same.
They do have similarities, which is probably why they're shipped together so often that one who didn't watch the show would think they're a canon couple.
Jumping on the topic of Rainbow Dash's cliché sexualities, asexuality is most likely that least used of them all in the fandom. And would enrage many, be it in the show or in our world.
I liked these lines;
'Waiting meant wondering if Pinkie Pie was there, even though... To be fair, that one could change the course of the evening,'
'This was the moment they lived for, the chance to bare their souls to the audience through the music they played'
and
'applause filled the sudden silence.'
Could you please write a story where Twilight doesn't go batshit insane when she forgets something or finds something she can't figure out?
Or a story where Twilight treats Celestia with a healthy and sane amount of respect (not the slavishly devoted yes-pony some fanfics turn her into)
2367059
I like that idea. Twilight is well-versed in sexual studies, having researched it in books and the more "hooves-on" approach. Pinkie, however, is much more skittish about sex: she wants to make ponies happy, but this is a different, strange form of pleasure...growing up on a rock farm with her very conservative parents didn't help matters either.