Tired of being alone, Twilight Sparkle makes a risky deal with Discord to get the stallion of her dreams. He turns out to be everything she ever wanted, but soon she begins to see that every deal has its catch...
Chapters (15)
Legacy55
Joined 19th Dec, 2011 ·
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Seems good so far. Don't have enough info to properly critique though, although Twilight's feeling of loneliness and fear are something I can relate too.
Writing seems solid, no noticeable grammar mistakes, will track. 4 staring until I can properly critique.
An excellent, if somewhat depressing start. Tracking to see what comes next
Bit short and could use a bit more... substance in the paragraphs, but otherwise it looks promising.
Element of loyalty.
Has one night stands.
That seems to happen a lot in fanfics. Whatever helps your story, I guess.
Good to see you try a tragedy style story. You've got some decent range as a writer!
Very well written, good start and no mistakes (even if there were I'd say nothing
)
A very interesting story, Mah Boi!
Mmm, veeery promising. Tracking.
Thanks for all the compliments so far everypony!
As this was just the first chapter, the next ones will be longer and much more eventful.
Poor Twilight, I know the feeling
I'm surprised though that she wouldn't write to Celestia (and that's not a criticism of your story at all, just my waxing philosophical on what I'd say to her if i were there 
)
I must say, the way that you didn't just dive into the main story with Discord is fucking fantastic. It really shows the readers what Twilight is going through. Brilliant chapter, Mah Boi!
que discord!
img.ponibooru.org/_images/1116b7e7a92e830fbbe5491ffdbbc125/22803%20-%20forever_alone%20meme%20pun%20twilight_sparkle.jpg
nuff said
Quite the nice pacing, and I love how you really put emphasis on how lonely Twilight is feeling. The only errors I see are a couple grammatical ones, like 'voice' instead of 'voices.'
MOAR
Drunk Twilight is best pony.
But I can't help but feel for her... You basically summed up my school life too with the whole "never kissed' thing... Hooray for nerdiness!
Oh man, somepony call the janitor, the fan is an absolute disaster scene right now
"Maybe I just wanted to be nice for once" TrollFace.
Very good chapter.
trackin'
dame twi you just bucked up BADLY
"He snapped his fingers and everything went black."
Great chapter 55, the next one should be interesting. 
Celestia: Ok... Who turned off my sun?
My,my,my Twi you should know better than that, you have to call your lawyer before signing a potencial life-changing contr... I mean to trust Discord.
the last part= story of my life
Uh oh... this can't end well for Twilight. I hope she makes it out okay. And RD jealous of Twi? Doesn't RD get boned every time they go to the bar (some element of loyalty)? Although, I do have my suspicions about that, too. And I like Orion's reaction to Rainbow. This going to be fun... in a sad, tragedy kind of way. So not fun at all. Especially for Twi. You're on a roll, Legacy55! As always.
I really like the way this story's been going and where it's headed. There's a few grammar issues here and there but not nearly enough to be distracting, and you really do a good job conveying the Twilight's emotions.
*Insert evil Discord laugh here* Good chapter 55, I especially enjoyed the part with Rainbow Dash. I hope we can see more reactions from Twilight's other friends too, but of course we're all waiting for Discord to be... Well, Discord.
(im tracking this right now) im surprised nopony found that suiside letter twilight wrote cince she dident burn it or anything
and if i was twilight i would have not made that deal without reading everything first theres got to be something discord dident tell her why else would he make it soo long twilight:wait what 
In a normal story, Sparkle and Orion would have met even without discord or something like that. Then again, when it comes to you legacy, I'm hardly able to predict the outcome of the story. Looking forward to next chappie
I am now picturing Discord singing "Poor Unfortunate Souls".
mwaaaaahahahaha! let the fun begin!!!
Based on the conversation with Rainbow Dash, I think I'm seeing what the negative side effects of this deal are. It's either:
A. Orion being too handsome that almost every single mare wants him,
B. Orion being too protective of Twilight, driving her away from everypony else, including Spike, or
C. Both A and B.
Or it could just be Dash being jealous.
195294
rainbow dash wasn't jealous you autistic moron, she was impressed.
Orion was being over protective. god!
197234 "The unicorn waved, completely oblivious to her friend’s lust for her coltfriend. They left quickly, leaving the Pegasus slightly jealous and upset." I think she was jealous.
Pretty interesting, and this reminds me of the story when John Faust sells his soul to the devil. I can't wait to see how this turns out. But Dashie jelly of Twi? Unexpected..
197622
OH... well I look like a complete twat now don't I.
200017 It happens. I wouldn't worry about it.
199901
Yes this story is based off the old Doctor Faustus theme, of a man selling his soul to the devil. Just in this case its a mare to an immortal God of Chaos.
Okay. Perfect chapter.
When she says this:
I can’t believe it! I’m finally having a dinner with a stallion! I wonder where he’ll take me. A French restaurant? Italian? Spainish? Oh, what the hay am I going to where?! I have absolutely nothing for something like this! I only have a few hours so I’ll have to hurry and find something!
You spelled wear wrong.
It's Wear,
Not Where.
Nice job , and for fun FIRST!
well this throws some theories out the window since applejack and orion had no problem with each other. Though Rainbow Dash could still be a problem.
This is a brilliant chapter. Well done!
209789 Or they could have a 3-way.
Discord: You know what this orchard needs? It needs more termites.
Twilight: More termites?! It's full of termites thanks to you.
Discord: Not a lot just... two cubic tons... Right over there.
Great chapter 55, can't wait for the next.
210770
Three-ways are always an option
i knew discord was still had a hunger for chaos just give him time i bet he is only just geting started
Spotted a typo: you used 'now' instead of 'know.'
Interesting story, I'll be tracking it.
“Let’s get going Twilight; I liked it better when it was just the two of us…”
Haha i was like "OH SNAP!"
poor twilight. being sad and lonely sucks
i have a very bad feeling about this!
I'm worried for twilight, this can't end well
great story so far, definitely tracking
Unknown to Twilight, Spike is in my house.
Very good chapter!