Yeah, Cup Cake's a bitch in this. She gets snippy at him when she's in the kitchen, then gets pissed when he snaps a little at her after the day is done. I don't know if you're going to have the twins be his or not, but there's that too. Then there's the fact that she's obviously being pissed about Pinkie, even though there's nothing there (yet).
Personally, with how it has all been portrayed so far, I'm hoping that you have him get a paternity test, discover the truth that he isn't the foals father, divorce Cup Cake and leave her with the foals to support and no income (he'll get the shop/house if she's the one who screwed up the marriage) and get with Pinkie. Everyone is happy except the bitch, and seeing as she'll probably be unable to support the foals, they'll probably go to Mr. Cake anyway, what with Pinkie loving them and all.
How long till the next one? I honestly didn't think I'd enjoy this story as much as I do when I first read the description, thinking it would be just a quick clop story with Pinkie and Carrot Cake that ended up working out fine, but this is so much better than that and I'm utterly engrossed.
I was wondering if the whole "they're not my babies" thing was gonna make it in this story. Can't wait to see how this all pans out. Especially since Carrot Cake is in pinkie's room, alone, while she's vulnerable, and laying on her bad, naked!
But for real, I'm have a great time here. Enjoying the slow burn as well. 5 chapters in (over 10,000 words) and Pinkie is still clueless. Pinkie being 'clueless' may change soon for one reason or another. Whatever happens, keep up the good work.
2132622 Right! I mean, I agree with your last paragraph completely. I really thought this was gonna be a quick clop fic. Now I'm reading, and I can't get enough
Don't worry about that. Trust me, with what you're writing, it'll get noticed eventually. Though you might want to change your update time from Saturday nights to Saturday or Sunday days, there's more of a chance of a higher traffic flow seeing it update. Then again, don't know where you live, so then could be daytime for the majority of FF traffic.
Besides, you've got over 200 followers, post a blog about how you want all of them to at least give the story a shot right before you post your next chapter, you'll likely get enough views to graze the feature box for a little bit which will get you far more views.
It's all about clever marketing and product placement my friend.
EDIT: I'll also add that you updated this on a very inconvenient day. The season just ended, EVERYONE is adding a new chapter to their fic, you got swept off the front page inside an hour. If you'd updated two days ago, you'd have been up there for between 6 and 8. Trust me, I was checking, updates were SLOW on Thursday.
2133096 Eh, when you get followers, they all see when you post a blog.
True. I don't know what to say then. Maybe people are avoiding it because of the suggestion that Pinkie Pie might be a home wrecker in the description?
Not a bad story you've got going here. I'm pleasantly surprised it wasn't just some quick cheating clop. Definitely has potential. Keep up the good work!
Well I like this story. I think Twilight now has enough information to make a fairly accurate guesstimation as to what is going on with Carrot Cake, but nothing more than a guess/shrewd estimation. I hope to read a new chapter for this soon.
Shit, this is going to hurt Cup Cake if Carrot tries anything with Pinkie Pie....damn, I had a feeling the the twins were not Carrots Damn.....this is going to get crazy
i believe that traits like that can be passed down it happens with humans if a past relative has had a eye color or hair or basically anything there is a chance a future relative could have the same traits so why don't believe thats carrot cakes foals
Whoa. Chapters 4 and 5 have the same word count...
Yay, another new chapter!
Yeah, Cup Cake's a bitch in this. She gets snippy at him when she's in the kitchen, then gets pissed when he snaps a little at her after the day is done. I don't know if you're going to have the twins be his or not, but there's that too. Then there's the fact that she's obviously being pissed about Pinkie, even though there's nothing there (yet).
Personally, with how it has all been portrayed so far, I'm hoping that you have him get a paternity test, discover the truth that he isn't the foals father, divorce Cup Cake and leave her with the foals to support and no income (he'll get the shop/house if she's the one who screwed up the marriage) and get with Pinkie. Everyone is happy except the bitch, and seeing as she'll probably be unable to support the foals, they'll probably go to Mr. Cake anyway, what with Pinkie loving them and all.
How long till the next one? I honestly didn't think I'd enjoy this story as much as I do when I first read the description, thinking it would be just a quick clop story with Pinkie and Carrot Cake that ended up working out fine, but this is so much better than that and I'm utterly engrossed.
Man, things are getting tense. Let's see if Carrot does something dumb. And did Cup really cheat or was it really recessive genetics?
I was wondering if the whole "they're not my babies" thing was gonna make it in this story. Can't wait to see how this all pans out. Especially since Carrot Cake is in pinkie's room, alone, while she's vulnerable, and laying on her bad, naked!
But for real, I'm have a great time here. Enjoying the slow burn as well. 5 chapters in (over 10,000 words) and Pinkie is still clueless. Pinkie being 'clueless' may change soon for one reason or another. Whatever happens, keep up the good work.
2132622 Right! I mean, I agree with your last paragraph completely. I really thought this was gonna be a quick clop fic. Now I'm reading, and I can't get enough
2132622 Going to try to post a new chapter every Saturday night. No guarantees on how long I can keep that up, what with school and all.
Also, I'm glad everyone in the comments seems to be enjoying this so much. It makes me feel much better about writing it.
Now if only it could get more views...
2133038
Don't worry about that. Trust me, with what you're writing, it'll get noticed eventually. Though you might want to change your update time from Saturday nights to Saturday or Sunday days, there's more of a chance of a higher traffic flow seeing it update. Then again, don't know where you live, so then could be daytime for the majority of FF traffic.
Besides, you've got over 200 followers, post a blog about how you want all of them to at least give the story a shot right before you post your next chapter, you'll likely get enough views to graze the feature box for a little bit which will get you far more views.
It's all about clever marketing and product placement my friend.
EDIT: I'll also add that you updated this on a very inconvenient day. The season just ended, EVERYONE is adding a new chapter to their fic, you got swept off the front page inside an hour. If you'd updated two days ago, you'd have been up there for between 6 and 8. Trust me, I was checking, updates were SLOW on Thursday.
2133079 Fair point. I might try posting a blog about it, though my blog doesn't get that much traffic.
As for the upload time, Cuddling got updated Saturday nights as well and that got plenty of views, so...I don't know.
2133096 Eh, when you get followers, they all see when you post a blog.
True. I don't know what to say then. Maybe people are avoiding it because of the suggestion that Pinkie Pie might be a home wrecker in the description?
An update on my birthday? Aww, you shouldn't have.
troll.me/images/booker-t/awww-here-we-go.jpg
Not a bad story you've got going here. I'm pleasantly surprised it wasn't just some quick cheating clop. Definitely has potential. Keep up the good work!
Well I like this story. I think Twilight now has enough information to make a fairly accurate guesstimation as to what is going on with Carrot Cake, but nothing more than a guess/shrewd estimation. I hope to read a new chapter for this soon.
Just finished writing Chapter 6. I'll post it tomorrow. Expect lots of beefy back story in this upcoming chapter!
Shit, this is going to hurt Cup Cake if Carrot tries anything with Pinkie Pie....damn, I had a feeling the the twins were not Carrots Damn.....this is going to get crazy
i believe that traits like that can be passed down it happens with humans if a past relative has had a eye color or hair or basically anything there is a chance a future relative could have the same traits so why don't believe thats carrot cakes foals