The Onion: Equestrian Bureau

by The Read Later List

Terrorist Attack Claiming Just Three Measly Lives

Terrorist Attack Claiming Just Three Measly Lives

Canterlot, Equestria- Following a surprise terrorist attack on our nations capital today, sources confirmed that the small scale explosion killing just two earth ponies was in fact, not enough to justify a full scale invasion of Saddle Arabia and the deposition of their Dictator, Al-Assad Haystack.

"When I heard of the news, I was positively ecstatic," stated our benevolent ruler Princess Celestia. "But when they told me that only two of my peasants lives were ended, I knew I could never declare an all out war. Maybe like two or three more ponies and I could possibly present the idea to Congress and use executive order anyway, but only two? Come on, I would look like a total asshole."

After the huge letdown, Celestia went back to her normal daily routine of ordering small teams of Pony SEALs to assassinate the growing list of enemies that refuse to attack her country by stronger means.

Comments

[MemoryLane]

'questria. Fuck yeah!

[machinekng]

I've read through all the articles, and I can definitely say that this stuff is just priceless.

It'd be great if the articles were a bit longer. Also, you could always add in amusing (photoshoped) images to give them more of a journalistic feel.

Anywho, keep 'em coming!

[The Read Later List]

2326626 Hey, thank you very much for your input. I'm working on two things right now and they both address your comment. Number 1 is the lack of photoshopped images. I've been looking into a few different programs but as of now, I going to have to hand draw them. Number 2, regarding the length of each article, I agree 100%. I would be writing longer articles but right now I'm focused on writing an encyclopedia based on the onion book of knowledge. I'm making headway but like I said before, I have to hand draw all of the pictures. If you have any suggestions for software to use photoshop, I would be grateful. I'm not a very good artist.

[machinekng]

2326673
Well, for photoshopping software, I tend to use GIMP. It's free and relatively straight foward. It may not be the most advanced program out there, but it's definitely a step up from MS Paint, and hey, free is free.

[MADC3]

International politics is messed up at times.

[an1979]

If you were writing about attack on Canterlot then it should be "capital" not "capitol".
As The Capitol(eum) is a building not city.