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// Terrorist Attack Claiming Just Three Measly Lives  
// Story: The Onion: Equestrian Bureau 
// by The Read Later List 
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Terrorist Attack Claiming Just Three Measly Lives

Canterlot, Equestria- Following a surprise terrorist attack on our nations capital today, sources confirmed that the small scale explosion killing just two earth ponies was in fact, not enough to justify a full scale invasion of Saddle Arabia and the deposition of their Dictator, Al-Assad Haystack.  

"When I heard of the news, I was positively ecstatic," stated our benevolent ruler Princess Celestia.  "But when they told me that only two of my peasants lives were ended, I knew I could never declare an all out war.  Maybe like two or three more ponies and I could possibly present the idea to Congress and use executive order anyway, but only two?  Come on, I would look like a total asshole."

After the huge letdown, Celestia went back to her normal daily routine of ordering small teams of Pony SEALs to assassinate the growing list of enemies that refuse to attack her country by stronger means.