What if the mane six we all know and love were put in school together? What kind of friendships would they form? What kind of adventures would they have? Read to find out! :D
Chapters (3)
FluttershyButterfly
Joined 18th Jan, 2013 ·
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Interesting premise, I'm watching you.
Oh and:
"When class was about to end, the yellow pegasus named FlutterShy timidly raised her hand."
You might want to correct that.
2053952 Thanks! And, sorry, I thought I had corrected that. XD
Hey there. I have to admit, I DO really like this story thus far. Splendid job on the exchanges, emotional content, cuteness and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more, but am quite willing to be patient.
2054934 Thanks so much!
This is a great fic so far. You're doing great!
You wrote the characterizations absolutely perfectly. Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie seem just as they are in the show. Rainbow too, but we haven't seen too much of her for me to say too much about that.
There were some very minor grammatical mistakes (mostly involving improper use of the comma), but nothing big enough that I feel like pointing them out.
Also, how old are they supposed to be? That doesn't really get mentioned at any point.
It may just be me, but reading FlutterShy seems weird. Fluttershy seems much more natural (Lol @ my OCD
). Could be just me though.
2057003 Thanks! I made FlutterShy a little but more natural, mainly because since she's going to a school where she has a few friends other than just RD, I figured she wouldn't be quite as shy and timid. Thanks again!
TFW you forgot to turn on "Email updates"
The chapter wasn't bad... at least most of it wasn't. You rushed the ending, but that's something you kinda have to do since you aren't writing longer chapters
Also
face-hoofing*
That was the only typo I found. There were some sentences that could have been formed better than they were, but that isn't something I'm going to start pointing out
Update soon!
Hey there. Sorry I took so long responding to this. Some of it was computer problems, but the rest was self-admitted laziness. Anyway, magnificent job on this chapter. The exchanges, emotional content, sweetness and future chapter set-up were all well done in all the right areas. Well, on to the next chapter.
Magnificent work on this latest chapter. The exchanges, emotional content, humor, sweetness and future chapter set-up are all well-done in all the right areas. I'll definitely be looking forward to more, but am quite willing to be patient.
Nice story so far dude!