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Talon19912


T

Talon James Eques, a young Captain in the E.I.N. (Earth Imperial Navy) has fought the evil of the
Shadow Spawn for years. When he receives a vision of the shadow spawn attacking an Innocent world, he immediately rushes to their aid. As he touches down on this new planet he is immediately caught up in a battle between one of the rulers of this world and a shadow spawn legionnaire, he lends her aid and begins a counter movement against the shadow spawn who are already beginning to spread their corrupting influence across this peaceful world.

Talon already harbors the power of light, the ability to sense and actually harm the shadow spawn, but will that be enough to turn the tide in a war against an evil that has existed since the beginning of time? Will his power alone be enough or will he have to accept help from the very beings he is attempting to protect? And will the biggest question he has about the situation be answered? (What's with the multicolored ponies?)

A crossover from a story I wrote a while ago but never decided to publish it.
Will probably be my main focus for a while.
Talon is a character of my own creation.
The Cover Art is my Visualization of Talon Wearing his Armor. (I drew it myself then messed with it using photoshop. I'm not very good with backgrounds.)

(I would like to inform every one that while I enjoy comments and remarks or getting praise, encouragement, or ideas, advice on how to improve my writing, or hearing some good natured banter between readers. I do not however enjoy getting what seem to be rude or hurtful remarks. All I'm asking is that everyone that posts a remark keeps it polite and if you don't have any comments that are don't post them. Thanks)
P.S.
If you notice any mistakes in terms of spelling or punctuation kindly point them out so I can try to go and fix them at a later date.

April 2, 2014

Well I'm Back, Finally! Now I went through both my stories that I have here but I'm going to focus on this one for now, truth be told I kind of rushed into this one a bit, now that doesn't mean I'll quit writing this one just yet, but I also have a possible rewrite planned for it. Now this is where I'll leave a question for everyone who reads this. Should I rewrite this story or keep going with what I have, If I keep going I'll try to plan out future chapters better. If I rewrite this it will go int a little more detail about the characters as individuals, the chapter lengths will probably be a bit erratic, and I won't post it until I'm happy with what I got written so far. But I'll try to keep updates persistant. So everyone leave comments or suggestions after you read this story so I know what I'll have to do.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 19 )

Interesting thus far, but you should edit some of those spelling and punctuation mistakes. :heart::twilightsmile:

You know its very rare that I misspell a word, not saying it doesn't happen, but I actually have more trouble with punctuation more often than not simply because I can never seem to remember a lot of the specific rules that are used for it. So I'll ask a favor if anyone spot any kind of error in terms of punctuation or spelling point it out for me. Because I can not seem to catch them myself. Much appreciated.

2051434
"Its" is possessive and "it's" is a contraction.
"What is its name?" ("What is the name that belongs to it?")
"It's 'Bob'." ("It is 'Bob'.")
The fic seems straightforward enough, but it isn't tied strongly to ponies and it's very generic. Young soldier battles shadows/darkness/evil? Heard it a thousand times.

Yeah it does seem cliched, but hopefully as time goes by people won't mind as much. In my opinion some of those same cliches can be the basis of some pretty good stories. So I hope mine can be pretty good as well.
Example: Star Wars
Evil Emperor, Galactic Domination, Rebellion, young man that yearns for a life of adventure and turns out to be one of the most powerful Jedi ever.
Mind you I'm not looking to turn this into another Star Wars, just pointing it out though.
As the reason it isn't very pony centric, that's because I haven't really gotten into that aspect very much, mostly because of my strange aversion to using characters hat aren't really my own, not saying I won't use the characters from MLP, however. I just suck at trying to imitate the attitude of another person's creation.
Example: Pinkie Pie (I'm definitely going to struggle with her) mostly because she is my polar opposite in terms of personality.

cool chapter. also a unknown creature and a wounded Princess Celestia walking into ponyville this can only end well*.

(*Sarcasm)

2052810
I have a plan for that

The story is good:twilightsmile:

Well then think opposite silly billy :pinkiehappy:

cant wait til' the next chapter! keep up the good work:pinkiehappy:

the story is going a tad fast, but it is going well :derpytongue2:

Armor made me think of dawn gard2:rd armor from skyrim

Your cover art looks like a cross between the Master Chief and the Knights of the Nine (from Oblivion). It's pretty cool, especially with the flaming sword! :raritystarry:

Needs more tanks all it need is more tanks

When the Hell Jumpers fly down play Flight of the Valkyries.:rainbowkiss:

I'm happy people are liking the story so far. I have a few ideas on how I wish to continue on with the story, however if you feel you have an Idea that I might be able to add to improve the storyline (e.g. a love interest, a side adventure, or just some random epicness (I love epic b.t.w.), or anything else that might be interesting to add, send me a p.m. or something containing details on what you believe I should add and why (be specific please) and I'll see what I can do with what I'm given. Just to restate things I'm glad so many people like my story and hopefully I can make it better as time goes on. Thanks Again.

With Alicorn Twilight now standard, I was wondering on how I should incorporate it into my story. Any Ideas?

Why does it seem like the subjects, factions, characters, species, and technology are some sort of giant amalgamation of other franchises somehow combined into one?

Comment posted by Talon19912 deleted Apr 2nd, 2014
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