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    The last flight of the Shadowbolts

    I did it! This is my first serious FiM story and I’m very excited to see how people will response to it. English isn’t my first language and I have no pre-reader (yet), so hopefully there aren’t too many grammatical errors or spelling mistakes.  

    The story itself takes place a few years after the show and focuses on the Wonderbolts and their soon-to-be rivals the Shadowbolts, so you should expect a whole lot of OCs.  In fact the only Wonderbolts from the show are Spitfire and Soarin – and maybe Rainbow Dash who canonically isn’t a member of the team. Sure I could’ve used Fleetfoot, “Misty”, “Surprise” and Co. but there isn’t that much Fanon material about them, therefore I said “Screw it!” and made-up my own Wonderbolts.

    I’m looking forward to your comments, positive and negative alike. Every opinion helps me to improve my writing so please don’t hold back.


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(Author's note:  This Fic is a parody. Therefore it’s full of grammar errors, plot holes and bland characters.  The sole purpose of this story is to give at least some people a good laugh. Every comment from the “author” inside the story should be taken with a grain of salt. And I don’t hate Fluttershy.)

Twillight Sparkle and her five friends (even Fluttershy who's worst pony) must to stop Celesia, the evil queen of Ponyland before she can do more evil stuff. Luckily Doctor Whoovas is on their side as well as THE BEST OC EVER. Did I already mention that Fluttershy is worst pony?

(This is a 101% serious story and everybody who's laughing about this masterpiece of fan work is as bad as Fluttershy.)


First Published
23rd Jan 2012
Last Modified
17th Jun 2012

You know that you instantly go to Hell for hating Fluttershy, right? You can be a kind, loving, caring person who has never ever done anything bad in his entire life - BUT! If you offend Fluttershy, you are IMMEDIATELY sent to Hell for an especially severe eternal torture. Keep that in mind.

Calling fluttershy worst pony just got you over 9000 problems, but a bitch aint one if em.

I used to think this story was serious, but then the guard took an arrow to the knee. Awesome story. And no, it didn't actually take me that long to figure that out. :trollestia:

Fluttershy is actually worst pony. But you're just trolling.

:flutterrage: Your.Going.To.LOVE ME! :flutterrage:

Nopony with a soul can hate Fluttershy, mr. troll.  :fluttershyouch:

Fabulous darling. :duck:

I like the queen. She's evil.

Nice...trolling? :trollestia:

Isn’t a troll somebody who loves to annoy people and starts flame wars?  What kind of troll would write such a bad fic and makes it so obvious that he isn’t serous?  So rest assured that I’m not a troll.  :twilightsmile:

The only reason I’m writing this story is because it’s quiet funny. I haven’t written anything in the last few years, so this is a good way to get back into the writing. So I hope this example of everything what a Fic shouldn’t be gives at least a few people a good laugh.  

(P.S.: And I don't hate Fluttershy, but no bad fic is complete without the bastardization of a loveable character just because he/she is in the way of the author’s favorite ship.:pinkiehappy:)


Wow that's the best OC ever!

Whoa whoa whoa, hold on! I'm pretty sure that Twilight hadn't met Owlowlyscious yet at the time this story takes place. This factual inaccuracy has ruined the story for me forever.

Not as good as the other chapters, but still pretty good.

'Twilight Sparklier'?

:rainbowlaugh:

Epic

I would've liked it better if Doctor Whooves didn't die and you called the spaceship a TARDIS.Ah,well..:twilightsheepish:

@Kriegor

TwiLLight Sparklier :trollestia:

@Pinkieisepic

Maybe you’ve noticed that I never called the doctor a time lord in this story. Instead everybody (including the doctor himself) calls him an “astronaut”. Therefore it’s a spaceship and not the TARDIS. Yes, that doesn’t make any sense but that’s the point of the story.:derpyderp2:

On the bright side, however, this means that I can bring back the doctor whenever I want, without even think about a logical explanation behind it.  :pinkiehappy:

I'm not scared, I know Admiral Awesome will protect them from Enemy Boss Leader! Also, I have a good battlecry for them to use: "For the New Awesome Lulamoon Empire!"

I'm so confused! I love the story, and Admiral Awesome Yonasomun Armageddon is undisputedly the BEST OC EVER, but this story... confuses me... in ways I never knew I could be confused...

I LOVE IT!

~E.C.

You lost me at Fluttershy being worst pony :flutterrage: I'm not going to rate this nor read it

I thought it was pretty obvious that the whole Fluttershy hate in this story isn’t supposed to be taken serious. Well. looks like I have to change the description.  

Noooooo! The best OC ever died! Now the ponies are doomed! :raritydespair:

Also, did you purposely do that to keep the tension up after realizing that my last comment was indisputably true or did I just manage to accidentally predict the plot?

@Mister Tulip

Sorry to disappoint you, but I his death was always a part of the “plot". Right from the start.

'“Farewell brave lesbian.” Said Doctor Whooofes.'

Why did I laugh so hard at this part

:rainbowlaugh:

My god, this is HILLARIOUS! I think Fluttershy is best pony and still love this story. It's just goofy.

A must read from all the serious fics out there!

>>288980 silly toxin Fluttershy pony is always worst pony. Now my soul is dead from the lies great :ajbemused:

Am I to assume that this fic is dead? :raritydespair:

Writer's block striked again. :pinkiesad2:Luckily I overcame it and now I’m working on the next chapter.  

I've waited over a month for this chapter, and I'm not disappointed. This is possibly your best chapter yet. I applaud you for your great use of rhymes from the evil enchantress and your epic plot and your highly accurate portrayal of Luna and your reveal of the romance between Dash and Slendermane and your completely accurate knowledge of the definition of "lesbian" and your generally awesome story. I also like the spell Twilight uses at the end of the chapter to turn the ponies into alicorns. Why did she turn the worst pony into an alicorn though?

>>156582 The fact that some non-trolling fics are worse than this is... sad, to say the least

One problem: You're using contractions correctly. You should stop doing this thing.

Epic chapter. It's a good thing ADMIRAL Awesome was there to save them, otherwise they'd be dead.

>>158272 It's supposed to be inconsistent, using the most overused fanon versions of the characters.

When you cut off RD's wings, (In a useless way, too. No sacrifice, only idiocy.) I immediately liked. It's way, way, way overused, to the point where I almost instantly dislike a story if it includes it.

>>156582 The thing with Fluttershy: People hate whenever anyone makes her cry, even if the character is the villain, and if a character can resist, ahem, "The Stare" (Dun dun DUN!), they are automatically a Mary sue for some reason. Even if said character is a god, and has invariably seen much, much worse that a buttermilk pegasus staring them down.

>>166754 Love the Nazi (sorry for any Germans who may be sensitive about it) guards, and the "Gilda is Evil" twist, which is also overused.

To quote a certain story:

"Weren't you dead?"

"Yeah, but I guess the author got bored because I'm alive now!"

Or something similar.

S'okay if I reference this? :scootangel:

>>221220 LOL LOL LOL ROFL YOU SAID "PLOT"!

>>567936

And that's the only reason why he's back! Not because there’s a  fate worse than death awaiting him. :pinkiehappy:

>>569779

I'm sure that nemryn's comment wasn’t meant to be taken serious.

>>569804

The idea behind ADMIRAL Awesome, was to create a very hate able OC with zero likability by using all Mary Sue traits that came to my mind. And what’s worse than your average Mary Sue? A Mary Sue that’s also a glorified version of the author that’s just there to beat up the characters the author doesn’t like.

You may disagree with me but in my eyes the biggest “sin” a Fan Fic writer can commit is  derailing a character just because he or she doesn’t like him or the character is in the way of his/ her favorite ship.   Nobody has to like every character, but that’s no excuse to turn Ron from Harry Potter into a Death Eater and rapist only because “he’s stupid”.

Since Fluttershy is one of the most likeable, pure and cute characters many Bronies are very protective about her. So a character that punches her in the face for no reason besides the fact that the author doesn’t like her automatically gains a lot of hate.  

Considering that one comment from Darklordcomp it probably worked TOO well. . :twilightsheepish:

>>569835

Are there some many stories out there in which Gilda turns into an evil bastard? Because, in the most stories I saw the authors portray Gilda in a sympatric light: She still wants Dash’s friendship but is either afraid of crawling back or to stubborn to see her mistakes. Similar to Trixie but with less shipping.

The thing I really wanted to lampshade is the fact that the griffon are portrayed as a war like species living in their kingdom at the border of Equestria and just want to conquer  their neighbors. If there’s a war in your story and it’s not NLR vs. Solar Empire then the Griffins plan the role of the evil foreigners fighting against the good, innocent ponies.  

What really bothers me about this, is that we only saw two griffins in two seasons.  And one of them wasn’t even around as most Griffin war stories were written. So just because the only griffin we saw as an aggressive jerk the whole nation is a bunch of Klingons?  Maybe most griffins are decent people?

At least the war inFallout Equestria  was between ponies and zebras.

NOOOOOO! ADMIRAL Awesome was imprisoned by President P. Resident while he was controlled by evil Martian deepsea fishes instead of getting his reward! :raritydespair:

So that’s it, the story is over. I took me longer than I expected but I’m still happy. It’s my first story since at least three years and even if it was just rather silly “troll” Fic it was fun to write something again.  There are already some ideas for a sequel in my mind, but my next Fic is going to be something more serious.

Thank you for your constructive Feedback - positive and negative – as well as for your patience. I know that some of you followed the story right from the beginning and that there were some large gaps between the later chapters.  So I hope at least a few of you enjoyed the Fic. :twilightsmile:

Good, but not even close to My Immortal. (Harry Potter ff, for those who are interested.)

Also, this story inspired me. In my story, a character's grammar in dialogue (and the entire chapter if they are narrating) will depend on their intelligence, because of this story. (The Engrish was intentional)

>>765693

It's probably not even close to Spiderses nonetheless it was a great guilty pleasure for me. :pinkiehappy:

I've just finished working on a TVTropes page for this story. Enjoy! :D

>>981511

Woah, you’re just amazing. I don’t know what else I can say. :pinkiehappy:

I've always had some ideas for a sequel but now I'm really tempted to actually write it.

>>981796 Any updates on the sequel?

In other news, I feel like an idiot now that I realize that I misspelled Twillight's name throughout the TVTropes page. :facehoof:

>>1231886

Don't worry you aren't the only one who missed it.

As for the sequel: Don't expect to see anything anytime soon. I'm focusing on my TCB story right now.

Weird thing I've noticed about some parody fics, the ones which focus on poor grammar, is that if they were written seriously, they'd make fairly good stories. This is an example.

Now, to face the reality of this thing: Weird, and the parody author doesn't seem to get the idea of fanfics not being canon. Actually, I only knew one of the fics referenced concerning Fluttershy, 'Babycakes'. What were the others, for future reference?

I like this! Both what it is, a parody, and what it could have been if taken seriously. It's twice the entertainment of a normal fic!:pinkiehappy:

>>1244154

Forgive me my scepticism, but I don't think that anybody could turn this into a good story. Not without changing half of the plot and characters involved.

The other referenced Fics are:

evil demon-monster-alien-thingy: Princess Gaia from the Pony POV series.. I admit that it's not a very good references.Should have called her demon-butterfly-zombie-princess-thingy.

drugged Dash so that she could have sex with her: A nod to the romance between Fluttershy and RD in the  Pony Psychology Series. Some readers assumed that Fluttershy had intentionally drugged RD in hope that she would fall in love with her.  

dragged Dash and Pinkie into a deadly nightmares that almost killed all of them: Silent Ponyville 2.

So weird that this is written as though the author hates Fluttershy, and yet she's the only one that hasn't been twisted into a work of horrific writing.

Or perhaps it's because the author couldn't change her that he doesn't like her; she's the only one he couldn't twist into the evil that he thought was good.

And now I'm treating this as if it wasn't written by Yonasomun, for simplicity's sake; the real situation expressed in words is too long and complicated for me to be bothered to say.

Anyway, fun.

Go Fluttershy! :yay: Yes! You win!:pinkiehappy:

>>1248254 Challenge considered. It would have to go through quite a bit of work, and some of the characters would have to be developed... and every word would have to be rewritten to get rid of spelling errors... but most of the ideas could work, and there could even be Mythology Gags! Oh, right, I also noticed in this chapter, were those references to the two main abridged series? Sweetie Belle the demon-robot with two missing legs?

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