• Member Since 12th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 25th, 2014

Cooperdawg


Comments ( 85 )

demon's

Don't ever do this. I see a lot of "writers" on this site use 's in the place of an s, when 's is only used when referring to posession as in "tony's car" or in cases like it's to shorten select words (it's= it is, there's= there is and so on)

1979273
thanks for catching that! I was expecting a couple of errors to leak through between both mine and my friends' edits!

1979273
Would you mind pointing out where exactly in the chapter the error was? According to my word document (using the find function) i never even wrote the word demon.

1980080 It WAS in the description but apparently you fixed it.

1981969
yeah, it took me a while, but i found it. thanks for catching it. Typed the description up in a couple minutes and posted without proofreading cause i had to leave for an event out here.

2053260
Hmm.. I'll keep that in mind. My personal preference while writing is to keep most of that kind of thing implied (it's how I've done almost everything I've worked on up to this point, and I'm in the process of editing two novels I've finished), but you definitely have a point. I'll see if can get some more expression into it as I go, but it will be a work in progress since I'm not too used to it.

Either way, I really appreciate the feedback. My entire inspiration for the story was the character, so almost all of my effort has been to making her stay believable (which is part of the reason why chapter three has been taking so long) . if there's anything you notice farther on down the line, feel free to yell at me. Any and all help is worth it! :pinkiehappy:

i really like it too :pinkiehappy: and i have to agree with regolit on the whole blood & guts & boobs & butts (its fun to say) but other than that, Great job! :scootangel:

Because all the others have been rude and forgotten to say it, welcome to the Fo:E herd

It looks pretty good so far. Keep up the good work! :twilightsmile:

- Noakwolf

Good grammar through and through and the whole story just fits together perfectly. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Fic about raider? Those are rarity nowadays.... Raider who wants redemption? Wow.

...raider who didn't forgot his raider-past and actually has balls? (even if she's mare)

AWESOME.

I hope Crosswire gets the spotlight soon, but it doesn't matter that much.
I feel conflict with the Enclave in the future:rainbowderp:

2127799
honestly, I haven't really thought about giving him a spotlight in the recent future, but this has given me quite a few ideas. I may act an a few of them.

2127799
also, now that i think about it (I probably shouldn't be posting this, but oh well, hints build tension), there is still one major character to be introduced. He will probs show up in the next couple of chapters, tho I can guarantee he won't be in 5. Might introduce him in 6.

2130477
Yeah, I'm going fairly heavy on the morals, because that is literally the driving force behind Evergreen's development (note: I barely even know how she's going to react half the time. Part of my writing style). And I really wish I could get some cover art, but you do not want to see my attempts at art work. Trust me, I'm just going to stick to words. If any of you know any good artists who'd be interested in making a cover pic, (preferably free, college is expensive) let me know please!

a raider trying to redeme herself this is a very interesting story, I love the mystery you enshrouded over a few of the aspects like why did that warding crystal effect Ever so much and not Cross; there is one possibility I can think of but I won't say incase of spoilers, all i can say is that it would be a nice twist. an other mystery would be how Autumn knew that Ever would pass through that town and had time to set up a snipers nest like she knew in advance where Ever would be?

i heard this song and could help but picture everfree singing it

2211486
That... was absolutely wonderful... I can hear her singing that as well :rainbowlaugh:

Sorry for the delay on chapter 5 everyone!!! One of my editors is lagging on getting it back to me, so even though it is basically done at this point, I want to see his feedback before I post it. I'm hoping that by the end of the weekend it will be up. I've asked him to get his review to me by tomorrow evening, so with luck, that will happen.

if they had enough firepower they could probably clear out the stable and set their comunity up there

loved the action with graymane, definately put his ego down a notch.

Love it. Kinda sappy but hey, redemption. Good to see non-branded full-armour Dashite, always wanted to read about one. Ever finally came to her senses and took leadership, that's nice. You can be bad-ass and redeem your sins at the same time, Ever, remember!

With the new guy, Steel Curtain, they have a new barricade with mini-guns attached to it to hide behind. Although his name does remind me a bit about the "iron curtain", intentional? I know this is about Evergreen's redemption against her raider past and all, but I always have a good time reading about the non-pony obstacles in the wasteland (Manticores, wolves of all kinds, hellbats, etc.)

P.S. some reference to Deathclaws would get an uncharacteristically unmanly squee from me.
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2423072
I am planning on getting some non-pony obstacles in there. The main reason there haven't been is because the way I view the major landscape, where most of the settlements are, is as a blasted wasteland, but the mountains and forests surrounding it are all chalk-full of dangerous stuff.
Also, for the Steel Curtain reference, I was more going for pro sports references (Seahawk, and it's set in ponified Seattle). Steel Curtain is actually a reference to the Pittsburgh Steelers (my home when I'm not at school). It also fits what he does with his guns xD

2425151 A Steelers reference huh? I was hoping you were going for a "he is a hardass" type thing. And the only reason I know about the Seattle Seahawks is because my aunt lives there.

2425447
Well, he is a hardass xD But yeah, I've got quite a few sports references sprinkled throughout, since my family and I tend to follow most pittsburgh sports rather closely. But honestly, just wait till I get chapter 7 out. Steel Curtain starts doing some badass things, and I've got big plans for what's happening down the line. And when I finally get into why he abandoned the Enclave... let's just say he is a very fun character in my mind.

2425539 Yes well about the sports... Go San Diego Chargers!!!
Can't wait to see where you take the story.:yay:

Nice chapter and I love the story over all. But please do not give ever an addiction. I have read far to many foe fics where the protagonist gets addicted and I am incredibly tired of it.

Your story didn't get as much attention as it deserves! WHY :pinkiegasp:

2495114
I wish I knew why it hasn't been gaining a lot of attention, I've been trying to get the name out there, posting to different sites about updates, and even made a wiki page. Oh well, I'll probably try a little harder once I get further into the meat of the story.

2494771
I've got a friend working on cover art, but him being an engineering student at my school (like me) means he doesn't get a lot of time to draw. This is also something I'm trying to fix, but no one wants to see something that I drew. It never ends well...

2495247

Maybe it's update rate? Though I rather prefer few, but really BIG chapters, it makes your story appear in "updated" less.

I'll try to tell my friends about your story. Maybe it'll help.

2495260
Thanks, I appreciate it! And I know what you mean about it appearing in updated less, but it works a lot better for me telling the story in bigger chunks as I have been.

2495275

I know, I prefer big updates too, just telling you about consequences. Don't know how one can help story get more views thought. You added your story to 'stories' on http://fallout-equestria.com/ ? On EqD?

well i guess it is probably obvious now but it seems like crosswire might have rolled with the brotherhood of steel at one point, which are basically just raiders with higher tech equipment who will just take your high tech equipment if you don't just hand it over

2507166
Hmmm... well... I'd be lying if I said this didn't give me a very interesting idea.... Now to see how to work on it....

2507884 For some reason, I expect Crosswire to be Brotherhood, and an epic battle between the Dashites and the towns against Seahawk and the Enclave.

Sorry for the massive delay everyone! Unfortunately, I can't say that I got a lot of work done during it, as the issue was that my comp died. I took a break from writing for finals, then when I got home for the summer to start up again, found out I needed a new system board. Luckily, that repair has been made and the writing has resumed!

lol I knew that was a foreshadow when evergreen made the sarcastic comment about hugging a manticore, now crosswire can sarcastically mention that this is her chance

2666864
Tagging you in this response, cause you've been the one nagging me on this, also just wanted to generally share, I FINALLY HAVE COVER ART!!!! WOOT!

Alright it looks good keep it up.

Fuck... it has literally been almost two months since the last chapter got put up.... Fucking hell. Seems weird considering how much I've been working on it these last couple weeks. Well, if any one is checking comments at all, the next chapter is in the last stages of editing, and will be up in the next week, and I have gotten a good start on Chapter 11, so yeah. This has not been dropped, I've simply been busy.

3147389
I'll keep that in mind, though that particular corpse was a big part of the idea I was trying to get across. For the most part, I am trying to keep a line between the slavers and the raiders, but the former hasn't shown up enough for me to make that distinction, yet. Just wait, good things are coming xD

Seems as if all mercs are griffins. Good chapter again :yay:

3252950
The morality of what she is facing and needing to choose has become one of the most important parts of this story to me, since I realized that she made the switch to "hero" far quicker and easier than she should have (Mostly my fault as the writer). As it goes, it is only getting better. I'm already pretty well into the meat of writing chapter 13 (12 is being edited as I type) and everything I had planned to happen is coming together beautifully. In the next chapters, a lot is going to be happening and the story is going to be taking a very definite turn, definitely for the better.

you misspelled greymane early on and and armor piercing incendiary rounds are abbreviated API other then that awesome job and i am glad she finally got to tell her story to the DJ

3353787
missed the Greymane misspelling, so I'll fix that. And I simply didn't know the abbreviation for AP/incendiary rounds, so I pretty much guessed something that made sense. I'll prob switch that to the correct term as well. Thanks for the help!

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