When all hell breaks loose on earth,a lucky someone gets to go to the land of Equestria. His name is Brian "Specter" Jones, and he has the goal of learning about what happen'd to earth, and trying to prevent the destruction that this hell is bringing, and with the most un-likley of allies.
(please note that this is my first story, so hate all you want, liking the damn thing is only optional, but could you please read past the first chapter? My writing tends to get better as it goes.)
P.S I wont show Zecora to much because I suck at rhyming.
P.S.S the allies will be discoverd as the story goes, but as a hint, its a majority of all the antags in the show.
Chapters (5)
You need to learn how to capitalize. Bit of spelling wouldn't hurt, either.
Try to find a way to set your story apart from the hundreds of other human-in-Equestria fics.
2001064 One, thanks for reading it, i was working on the second chapter when you commented, i will have a bit more of a suprise next chap. Two, i tend to forget to capitalise and will check it soon and fix the errors, it is my first story afterall.
Third,i'm only doing this story to improve on my skills. it will get better as it goes.
Finnaly, im not that good at writing anywase, but you know what they say, you can only get better!
oi49.tinypic.com/sgtzj9.jpg
Your alien OC with no sclera in his eyes frightens me, and so does the grammar in this fan-fiction.
Jesus christ, those eyes
THEY STARE INTO MY SOUL
I SEE THEM
AND I KNOW FEAR
T̴̖̮ͨ̓̿ͣ̂H̡͕̫̳͈̮͓̗̜̥͒̂͋̇ͩ̾ͪ̈́E͍̠ͬ̉̌̆̈̚ ̷̡̺̱̖̰̙̩̳ͦ̐͒̐D̶̪̣̦͓̗͍̻̲̺̏̾̀ͦ͝͠É̸̦̯̩͍͖̗̅͗͛͌̓S̀̒̅҉̴̼̘̣̙̜̖͖T̘̼̺̳ͤ͌͝ͅͅR̵̗͕̞̟̟̱̼̠ͨ̃̍͗͑̊̓̚͠O̤͉̞̹͙͙̦̭ͬ͐ͭ̎ͥ̌̊ͨ͘Y̪̳̗̜͔̦͗ͅÊ̡͖̯̐̓̀͢Ŗ̵̭͚̬̌ͩͦͭͭ ̵̷̨̞̳̥͓̗͚͐ͭ̉̋̿ͯ̈ͭ͒C̫̼͍̩̳̈ͪͫ̐͛͋͝O̖̿ͭ͌ͫ̀̄̊̚M̴͕̞̰̳ͣ̐̐͒̏̑̈ͤE̴̸͎͈̲̮̣ͤ͛S̲̝͙̯̥̖͇͂̈́
F͉̦̮͖̥̖ͮ̽̋̓͟Ḛ̵̖̩̬̖̭͚̑̂̂ͧͪ͠A͚͔͚̪̬ͥͪͭ͌ͧ͞R̨͎͔͕̙͉̪̓̈́ͧ̒̍̍ͮ́ ̶̧̛̞̱̞͂ͣ̈́ͮ̊ͦ͒H̸̤̹̮̗̻͈̮̰̭̾̐ͮͥ̂I̥̲̠̹̭̟̘̋ͣ̎̈̒͛͒M̛̖̪̦͙̜͓̻ͤ͒ͥ̊̓͘͜ͅ,̴̼̞̭̦̐͊͒ͩ̆ͪ̕ ̡̛͔̣͚̍ͨͣ͌F̴̼̹̠̈́̑͊̑̐̂͢O̜͙̺͚ͯͥ̚R̼͔̯̳̍̌͊̿ͭ͌ͩ̑ͅ ̶͉̭͍̞̦͒͑̾ͮ́͟H̀͋͊̇͏̖̖͈̠̟̼͉̠E͖̦̝ͮ̀ ̮͓̼̏͟ͅI̖͈̼̩͇̓̌̉̉͒̽̀S̟̥ͭ̓̆͂͞ ̙̠̮̅̒ͦ̒̈́ͪ̓̽́͡O̵̦̱͒ͩ̅ͨU̟̮̫̮̾̂̂̿͊̏̇͋R̛̠̬͎̯̫̝͌ͮ̐͋̍ͥͥ͒ ͚̬͉̲͂ͭͧ͑͠Ď̶̦̟̼̯͂́̇̕͠E̖̣͓̰̤̽̽̀̐̃ͩͅS̴͖̗̳͔͇̻̄̎͊́̇͌͑͝ͅT͇ͧ̍͆ͩ̊́R̶̷̘͑ͅǓ̻͔̖̪̦̋̀̈́͒̾̑̎ͅC̢͖̝̖̺̲͔͚̍͆̑́T̰ͥ́Į̧̝̺̹͈̦̭̮̫̈́̄̎Oͮ͒͑͐̊͘͏̖̫̼̖N̦̜͉̮̅̒̄͘ͅ ̴̢̳̣͎̜̝̼̦̚ͅͅA̓̌ͫ̾̂҉̪͙̹̳͟N̴̸̙̩̼̳̞̊̊ͧ̐ͧD̪̖ͣ͒̈́̑̂͊ͥ̊ ̬̘̝͆̌̽͠Oͮͫ͌҉̮͔͚̗̘̟̯̖̘Ư̸̧̤͙͙ͮ̓̎R̡̲̹̮̤̥̜̳̮ͫ̂͌ͨ̊ ̧̹̙͆̂ͭ̎̈́͋͋̈̓S̩̗͍͖̈́ͨA͓̙͉͚̹̗̋̓͗ͩͪL̴̼͉̤̽ͯV̡͍̠̰̦̂Ã̷̷̰̞ͬ̇̆̃̿͗ͯ͋͜Tͪ̅͗̓ͬͤ҉͍͇̝̞͠͠İ̵̺͓̞͚̺͙͔̣̋̋ͪ͘O̗̭͕̦̯͑͛̒̐͌͗́N̴̨̼̘̳̯̝̺͍̫̋͆ͯ̊̓̈ͧ́
2001150
Dude what the hell is wrong with yo-
O̶̱̭̳̱͍͔̼̫̝̗̦̪̘̓͐ͯͦͥͮ̉̒̐̎ͬ̐ͮ̉̀̚͜͝͞H̢̛̲̫͙͈̩̦̜̳͙̖͍̼̦̪ͩ͛ͫͮ̒ͨ͟ ̨̭͙̲̩̣̳̫̥͖͓̘̩̩̓̆ͫ̾̓͛̅ͫͮͪ͗̍ͨ͆̀̕M͍͚̬̦̹̹̫͉̤͕̰͍̱̳̽̿̈́ͧ̓͛̄͆̐̂ͩ̆̓̋̉̾̑ͣ͢͝͠Y̶̨̞͉̺͍̣̬̻͍̏̓̒ͬ̃ͧͥ ̶̧̝͎̲̫̻̖͓̼̩̻͖̜̣̭̳̗͉̳͇̿̽̆̿̆̊̑̀̊̏̕G̷̵̨̯͔̩̤̖̼͇̞͔̹̰ͪ͛ͧ͌̆ͣ̊ͬ̋̀̂̇́̈̇ͬͤ͛͗͢͞O̴̵̷̟̜̦̜̪̳̗͍̝̪͈̭̘͇̖̞̪̹ͦ̽ͨͦ̐͂̇̿̓̋̒̚ͅD̶̨̡̗̻̪̬̙̮͎̰͚̖̟̽̃ͪ̽ͯ͂̍̚̚͝
̨͎͖̭̲̟̫͈͈͖̩̹̬̮̗̬͈̘̅ͤͭ͌̀͑̅̍ͤ͋ͨͩ͟͞ͅH̍ͧͮ҉̸͏͉̬͚͉̲͙̼̱͞Ǫ̮̼̗͖͇̩͇͓͖̳̙͚͖̈́͑ͫ̏̏̀͜͡ͅL̵̛̇ͨ̎ͪ̏̀͞҉͈̱̭͙Y̴̸̵̧̰̘̰͖͍̖̣̳͇̣͎̱̊̿ͧ̂͊͋̊ͬ̒̿̚͢ ̧̛̭͔̥̙̻̤͚̖̜̥̫͙̟̠̇ͮ͑̀ͬͭͨ͟͠S̴̢̙̻͙̞̟͔̣͈̈́ͮ͊ͮͧͬͮ̊ͧ͒̚͘H͎̹̩̝̭̳̺͚͖͓͓̩̦ͦ͑̊͂̎ͯ͋̈ͧ̑̾̓̆ͬ̇ͩ̏̀͢Í̧ͨ͂ͮͭͨ́ͯ͗̆ͣ̚͝͏̡̡͎̼̪͔̫̳̳̙͇̣̮͉̹͖̗̘͔̗̱T̴̨̼͇͙͇̪̦̝͍̜̭̽̍ͭ̌̆ͧ͛̑̔ͮ̚͜͠ ̅̂̿͗͜҉̢̩̪̼̩̬̘̪̘̱̜͈̱͉͇̰͓W̿ͪ̅̆̋̿̀҉̵̻͇̟̝̦̺̤͎̫̖͠H̨̹̯̣ͦ̃̔̿͆͐́̐̌ͭͣͥ͋̾ͪ͒͝Aͭ͂͊ͦ́̈̋ͫ͆҉̣̺͙̙̳̭̤̣̬͚͇͕̟́ͅT̆̉̀ͯ͋͛̋̽ͯͥ̈͗ͧ̓ͪ̕͘͠͏̧̠͉̳͚͍̩̯̩'̛͇͓͙̪̥̟͇̝̱͇̅̌̽̓̑̏̎ͣͧ͆̔͗́͋̿S̵̶̢̥̮͚̙̼̱̯̠͚͚̻ͯͧ̾ͦ̂̐̈́̌̀ ̨̟̱̳̱̼̻̆͐ͭͬ̇̄̓̆̀̑ͨͧ̔ͫ̈̎̕͢H̨͕͔͎̺͛̋ͮͧͪ́̀ͭ̓̓̌ͩ͊ͩͯ̃ͨͣ̂͠ͅĄ̗̙̟̭̱̥̭͖͎̘͓͇͖̗ͧͬ̊͛̇̿̂͗ͨͫ̑ͪ̽̓͐ͯ̊ͥ͞P̡̨̧͇͔̭̫͈̖͚͔̙̙͖̥̊ͦ̇ͫ́̚ͅP̷̵̧̟͙͓͎͖̻͙̞̺̝͖̠̞̱̗̥ͪ̄ͦ̀ͅE̵̢͈̼̭̟̬͕̜͊ͭ̑ͧ͌ͣͯ̉̎̉͆N̶̉͐̒͂͊͂̔ͯ̾ͮ͆̋̾̅͒̎ͧ̀҉̷̺͙̭̠͍̰̪͉I͉̘͇̦̼̰̝͓̻̳̣̰̺̤ͯ̊̔̿̂̈́̓́̕͝ͅͅͅŅ̷̶̵̤͔̝͈̝̾͐ͭ͂͂ͨͦ̈͛͒̽ͧͫ̎̔͟G͈̻͇̜ͥͣͨ͗̐ͥ̓̀̚͘͜?̠͖̳͇̱̗͕̘̪̝̻̝͈̣̜̳ͭͥͦ̂͛͒̓ͬ̄̊̊͗ͣ͑́́͘͢͠ͅ!̴̶̡̨̰̘͚̯̻̞͓͖̝͗ͪͫ͋͘ͅ?̸̶̡̘̮̹̞̥̟͕̤̩̥ͥͤ̔̽ͬ̌͂ͭͪ͂ͥ͊ͤͬ̀͜ͅ!̢͕̦͓̹̫͍͍̯͍̣͔̿͌ͮ͂̾ͨ̾̈̃̊́̊͋͑͋̚
BUT
JOHNSPECTER, YOU ARE THE CHANGELINGS!and then specter was changeling
Goddamn, those eyes. Bug eyes, man.
2001124 a meam with my OC already, dam you guys are fast,and i was just working on the second chapter
2001150 um, ok
2001165 HEY, HOW DID YOU KNOW MY OC WAS HALF CHANGLING?!
2001162
Y̖͓̻̲͔̐̒̉̄̈́̍͞Õ̃ͣ͂҉̖̜͓̰̗̭̬͝U͚̞͖͕̙̫͉͖͔͊ͯͥ ̶͎̟͍͚̒͛ͧ͡Ḁ͉̩̪̥ͣ̌͒̄̂ͥR̶͕͕̓Ę̧̼͔̖̰̠̯̐ ̪̘̩̖̀͛̍͛̒̄̄̈́͠B̨͗͋̒̐ͤ͋ͤ͏҉̟̹̮Ę̡͈̙͕͎̭͓̭ͫ͊ͯͨ̓ͪ̍ͦY̛͍͉̟̮̝̭̺̻͍̒ͣ́͊͡O͑͏̫̲̣̦̬͕̰N̢ͦ̊͟͏̹̬͓̭ͅͅD̷͊̈̍ͬͪͦ͊͏͇͓̬̹̥͓̙͕̀ͅ ̧͙̞̏ͧ͋̎ͨ̾͛R̒̓̏ͦ̋ͦ҉̪͍̘͍͕̠́͜ͅE̴̘͚̟͚̐ͮ͂͆͗́D̴͍͕̋Ḛ̷̡̱̣͕̙̹ͧ͊ͯ͛ͣ̎̽͂M̃̇ͫ̊ͥͫ̅̄͏̖P̶̜̳̌̅ͯ̿̔̃̊̃́T͍͓̱̥̓ͨ͒͛̄̐̚̚͠I̢̼̱̦͙̳̖̖̭̎ͦ̀ͧ́Ó̤̠̫̥̩̅̌͒̇̀͠N͚̻̯̉ͯ͌̐́̈̃̐̕
̹͇͚͊̍ͤ͐͞E̤͎̲̺͌́ͦ̂̐ͅM͚̦̬̦̻͆̏ͧ̎B̘̖͉̫̌́̅̌̃͞R̨̼̙̳̓ͣͬ͛ͫ͢Ẵ͓̞͒C̸̡͍̜̠ͭE̸̵̞ͦͫ͢ ̛̦̦̼ͪ̍̒͊̾ͧ̕T̥̪̱̦̠̎H̡̖̬̜͂ͧͭ̉͜ͅE̞̰̮͍̬̦͖͈͗͒̎͒̅͑͋̎͞ ̡̹͕̹̮̗̟̭̰ͩ̇́͊̆ͅS̶̑͐͛̅ͬ̅ͧͮ͏̮͚Ǐ̷͓̮̦͊̌̆̎L̸͕̟̇̆̄̑̿ͫͧEͥ̒̋̔҉̸͚͖͘ͅṈ̞͔͎̲̹͋̑̐ͅÇ̼ͭͯͬE̯̳͚̩̻͉̿͋ͯ̈͟͝
2001179 NEVER
2001181
Y̳̭͗̃̿͑̎̽̚O̰͔͎͉͕͎̠͋ͫŲ̥̗̩̟̥̝̜̯͒ͩ̔̎͊̕ ̡̫̪͈̺̰ͧ̊͛̽̈́̒̐ͅC̙̪͈̠̀ͥ́̿̈̑̿̃A̡̘̪͇̎̆N͙̖̼̘̘͖̓̆̎ͪͬͮ̀N̰̲̯͕͙͙̫͚ͧ͞Ò̝̱̣̙̮̻ͤ̏͆̌ͨ̍ͥT̮̜̜̖̬̩͎̲ͯͅ ̵̙̹̖͑̾̈ͫ͒́S̡̰͂͋ͭͮͤ̀ͭT̷̹͍̜̩͗͗̉̅ͧ̿Ỏ̭͓̺͈̄̀̓ͥ̌̕P̩͉̻͇͖̗̠͉̈̋̓̓ ̱̤͓̖͚̯̭̹̥̈́ͮ̿͡T͚̩ͩ̓̓͛͂̌ͬ̒Ḩ͉̙̤͉̥̬̍͑ͯ̓̄͆̀̚̚ͅẸ͎̺͉͔͉̇̋ͭ͝ ̴̲̟͗͑̓͑̍͗͞Rͪͤ҉̧̛̱̙̠͙E̟͔̦̗͉̘͂̊̓ͤĂ̷̵̼͖̯̹͓̇̆͑ͨͥṔ̸̤̦̻̗̂̽̅̽͌ͅIͮͥ̽͒̀̋̄ͥ̔҉̱͉̱̺̺̞͕͇͘Ṇ̴̩̭̭͋ͪ̐̄̒͑ͨͫ͘G̱̫̭̪͑̒ͪ͜͡ ̰͉̭̺̓̈ͧO̴̴̧̩͉̪͕̖̫̿̊F̧̺̱̙̮̬̦͐̆̄͠ ̼̟̠̯̣̞͔͆̀ͪ͞͞W͓̹̼̣̠̠̏̍͛̓͘Ơ̱͚͉͍̺͚ͬ̑̎ͤͪͬ̑̽͋̀R̺̩̥̙̊͋ͪ͗ͅL̹͕ͣ̏͂D̢̨̗̯͓̱͓̔̈̊̒ͪͨ̽͒͘S͕̤͈̺̣͈̈̌̅́͡
̨͉͈̭̜̼̐ͤͪ͒̓̆̐ͨ̕͘T̵͇̪̈́̓͌ͧͫ̕H̢̝̦̻̦͉ͫ̌͋͗̇̾͞͝Ë̱̎̏͊̀͜͟ ̛̞̩͈̰͚̪̹̯̆̅ͩ̒̍̒͛̚͢ͅD̟̫̬̤͇̠͊̌́͛̑͛Ê̪̼̭͉̇͠S̫̙͎̹̥̮̎͝Ț̶̦̼̫̋̑͂͆ͣ̓͘Ṙ͖͎̞͍̰ͪ̀͒ͦͬ̿O̷̖̱̟̟͇͖ͣ́̓ͬ̈͑ͩ̀͢Y͚̼̦̱̦̹̹͙͑̑̔̒ͩ̈́͑ͨͬĘ͎̯̜̼ͬ̊͆Ŗ̡̱͇̻ͪ̈ͩ̑͢ͅ ̈̂́͑̊̉́͒̊͏̭̮̬͔͎C̷̱̞͓̦̖̖̽̄̎̽O̪͔̟̪̯͚ͪ͆̀͛̋̐̀M͈̻̗̖͔͚͖ͭ̏ͨ̓̓͡Ę̫ͧͦ̅̔͒̽̊Š͈̬̟͙̭͓͇͓̎̄͐͐̓ ̡̫̣̱̝̫̾̾̄ͥͬ̉̋͡A̟̮͕͖͇̞͓̻ͥͦ̀̈́͡N̹̭̼̜̼͖̍̋́D̶̺̻ͤ͒ͫͬͫͩ̀ ̷̢̢̲̞̪͕͎̲̭̒ͥ͌ͯͨS̡͙̝͙̥̤̭̬̣̘ͤĪ̷̝͕̦̰̞̲̳̈͋ͩ̅͡L̵̬̼̰̮͕̰̽ͥͮͭ̍ͦ̈ͮȄ̡͖̬ͣͫ̆̑ͤ͆͐͜N̨̻̳̖̩̱̝͛ͩͣ͂̄͟Č͝͏̳̪̲͎̠͓̫̥̝Ē̷̮͙̣̪̭̪ͧ̑̆ͪ͊ͩͦͅ ͓̩͓̟͙ͩ͊̆̒̿ͬ̑̓̓̀Ş̬̼̱ͣ̓ͪͯ͒͊̔̈H̰̥̘͍̫̤̞̽̍ͩͦ̍Ą̯̦ͨ̍̇̅̾́̄L̅̂̃͏̖̹̼̮͇̥̫̥ͅĻ̷̮̙̙̼̟̾ͤ̾̓̀͒̈́͡ ̶̭̱͚̹͑ͫ͠͝R̢̩͍̥̠̮̣̄ͭͮͣ̍ͪ̐ͅŨͯ̔̈́̃ͧ͟҉̟̤̦̖̱L̸̰̝͚͊͋̈́̐͌E̔̐̇̃̚̕͟͏̣͖͇͚͔ ̖̬͇͍͍͖̰́ͧ̑̀̀͞ͅO͓̫͕̳ͧ̂̓̾͢Ṇ̡̦͕͙͌̓̌ͥ͋̎͛̑͜͝C̼̖̫͖̣̼̯̄̂̋̉ͫͧ̎̋Ȅ̸̸̠̱̗̀ͣͯ ̰̮͇̖̼̞̪̘̈͌̈́͡Ṃ̤͈͚̼̈̇̆͞O̶͈̾͐Ŗ̠͓ͫ̏̎ͦͯ̒͋̆ͭȆ͚̭̣̬̯͈̪͖̱̆ͤ̅̍̂̀̍̍
2001194
virginmedia.com/images/doctor-who-spoilers-silence-431x300.jpg
Hey!
Oh god... I think I'm gonna be sick here.
<runs into bathroom>
....
<Inhuman noises>
....
<heavy breathing>
....
<adjusts self and returns>
Ok... made it. I would recommend maybe a writing class or at the very least an editor. Read around to pick up on cliches and really try and avoid them like they carry the Ebola virus. You can refer to my rules list on my user page to help with HiEs. As my last bit of advice, never use a generic pony creator image. It drives people away faster than grammar errors will. Good luck.
2001517 sorry, but i cant do jack in paint or anything, and its my first fic, cut me some slack
and what made you so sick?
2002592
>using paint for the cover image of a my little pony fanfiction
image.blingee.com/images19/content/output/000/000/000/7ba/774859018_661239.gif
Download GIMP or something, or pirate photoshop.
Or practice drawing....
Or skim through the endless amount of pictures on the internet to find one relevant to your fanfiction...
2002592
That's not much of an excuse.
I have zero background in art training (I'm a game programmer, well, still studying to be one) and I did all my cover art on my own.
Bug-eyed half-changeling OC made in Pony Creator? Grammar that strongly suggests that you wrote this without the use of the backspace button? Opening that's actually eerily similar to Half-Life? Yeah, this is in desperate need of work. And I mean DESPERATE.
hooray critics!
Just so you all know, im not the most origianal person, but i try, and i will try and make my own cover, but it wont be the best. I have a twitch that makes it hard to focus, so i have a hard time doing things
2024273 how is the quote that bad? my OC is a scientist, so i thought it fit
2024671 (checks the opining of halflife on youtube) you know what, your right, it does seem similer to half life, i wont change it though.
2033225 Player was referring to "puzzel." Where have you ever seen it spelled that way?
2033355 google, i just have a bad habbit of writing to fast and getting the order of the letters in some words wrong
2033394 And the thought of going back through what you've written and weeding out what mistakes you could find never crossed your mind?
2033610 and the thought of working on the next chapter never crossed your mind?
2033625 What does that have to do with the EXISTING chapters?
2033707 did you not see the trolestia? il work on them soon, i just want to finish atleat half of chapter four
2033996 I did see the Trollestia. I've ALSO dealt with much less tolerable people on this site, so I may have interpreted it as a sign of you not taking the story or the discussion seriously. My apologies if that's not the case; pattern recognition has me making connections where there are none sometimes.
2034217 Dont worry, i've had the idea of making this story for Celestia knows how long, so im taking it seariosly, and you misunderstanding the trollestia, it could be worse.
there, fifth chapter out, your welcome, and please start leaving more critisizm in the comments, its much needed.
Great, bad spelling in the description, this ought a be good.
2260311 the least you can do is tell me what i misspelled, i have a twitch that makes it hard to read and write
2265469
When all hell brakes loose on earth
Its spelled Breaks.
2265489 thank you,i often get the two mixed up
2033394
Hmm this is just a speculation from my side, do you have dyslexia? I have and i tend to do the same thing.
Gonna read your story now, currious, but i think, that massive downvote isn't needed.
3319089 i don't have dyslexia, just a twitch in my neck. i get them mixed up because i don't use them often and forget which is which.