• Member Since 10th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

redtau


Sequels1

T

Sarah Jordan has had a rough life, and it's about to get rougher. Her job with ARCO has her jumping between dimensions to generate cheap energy and bring back new ideas. But when her inter-dimensional transport explodes, dropping her on the edge of the Everfree Forest, things quickly go from bad to worse.

Cover art uses the vectored Elements of Harmony from http://ewized.deviantart.com/ with permission.

FEATURED 2/21/16

Chapters (62)
Comments ( 595 )

Woah, is twilight going to dissect her or something? That would NOT be in character for Twi. :fluttercry: Also, D isn't very smart for an AI.:duck:

2811284
OK, I obviously need to go back and clarify a bit. D is the spirit thing in the crystals in her left arm. Machina is the AI in the cybernetic right arm.

And Twilight is just looking for a thermometer and tongue depressor. This is what happens when language barriers break down and people start to jump to conclusions.

Last question: if she has a cybernetic right arm, wouldn't she have a pony cybernetic arm too?

2811383
Once she has the arm attached, it is likely that her disguise/ pony form will have a cybernetic component unless she specifically compensates for it.
At the moment however, the arm is detached and in her backpack. She can't put it on because it won't unfold right now.

And feel free to ask questions, it helps me make sure I'm conveying the story properly.

Thanks! Oh, the story is excellent so far!!

Was pleasant enough to read

This is one of my favourite HiE's ever! :pinkiehappy:

2860574
Thank you, I appreciate it.

Aaand... now I am not sure if I can continue reading this fic.

See, if Derpy had not been beaten to a pulp just for KNOWING her, then there would be the possibility for reconciliation once they find out she is NOT an evil demon-thing.

But with the abuse of Derpy, this is now impossible without some incredibly contrived coincidence.

2874670
Ditzy had been bullied before, mostly by other pegasi. The bullies were embarrassed in public, so they are using this as an excuse for revenge.

Also, this is only a day or two after Sarah initially was revealed and fled the town. There is a level of panic that has settled over town, and Twilight's neurotic nature really isn't helping.

I have something ... planed.... for them, but it won't come for a little while. There are also a few other things going on that will get revealed later on.

First off, I am enjoying this story. I do hope there will be more chapters soon. this reminds me of when Twilight forgot to send her friendship report to Princess Celestia that she went a bit crazy. Evin twilight friends think she going to far in her indevers to catch Sarah. It looks like princess Celestia will need to cum to straiten things out. Whit will Princess Celestia do when she knows about Derpys batter state. Most ponys do not hit and beat up ponys. Maybe Sarah can git help from Zecora? She knows what it is like to be feared by the ponys of Ponyville before she made friend with Twilight friends. It look like Sarah is trapped on this world for the time being. She will need help to fine her way back to her home. You have a lot of elements in this story and I can't wait to see how the story plays out so keep up the good work.

PS, It wood be fun to see Twilight and friends point of view, It wood give a better ideal whit is going on in town and why there is so much misinformation on Sarah doings. I know that the unknown can be scary. That why Zecora had so much trouble in town when she was new to Ponyville. Will Pinkie Pie make a party for Sarah? She like to know all ponys and people. Time well tell.:moustache:

2881793
I thank you for your feedback. In truth, I have roughly a dozen chapters mostly written, but each is tweaked a lot before publishing (plus I'm having difficulty getting the colors right all the time and constantly have to go back and correct them).
A chapter is coming where we will get the views of the Elements, as well as a general sorting out of the misconceptions. As for Zeccora, Sarah is not intentionally avoiding her, but the Everfree is large and the castle is far from Zeccora's hut.
Also, and I hate to ask, but if you like my story could you give me a thumb up? It will help to attract more viewers.

I'm... I'm actually happy with this... Is that wrong?

2926181
No, I've worked hard to make that the outcome.
Sarah has been weak, and all her efforts have blown up in her face when she tried to be nice or unobtrusive.
Now she is simply taking what she needs, and appearing as the vicious monster that everypony thinks she is. Things seem to be finally working for her now that she has become evil and wicked.

But, as always, there is more behind the scenes.

Out of curiosity, do you think I made Sky Hoops a big enough misogynistic asshole or should I try and kick it up one more notch?

2928229 I pretty sure you have, but for my and others amusement, please do!

I like to say a good chapter. It look like she has it under control for the time being. Is there a rezon why she could not still power from the timber wolfs? they are a form of Magic. Her computer wood take Magic from all Magic sore sis why not the wolfs? Now that Nightmare moon is a part of her, will in make her go mad? Was Nightmare moon evil or just a reflection of Luna win they where one person? is Sarah going to use the elements to power her Magic to Dimension Jumping? I do hope you write more to the story. Keep up the good work.

2930821
OK, so in this version there is active magic and passive magic. Active magic is anything like the glowing shields or most Unicorn spells. Passive are things like an Earth Pony's ability to grow things, or a Pegasus ability to walk on clouds. D can draw on active spells, but not passive magic.

As for the rest, you'll just have to keep reading.

hey is it wrong if i hope Sarah does keep the nightmare with her? i don't think she that horrible i kind of like her honestly despite the dark personality is that horrible?

2935052
I like Nightmare and her influence on Sarah too. We will see just how long that lasts.

2936578 ooo so she gonna go soon when you said "We will see just how long that lasts." felt like a answer to that but i might be jumping the line to soon. well i just wait and see nice work your putting into this by the way i enjoy it :heart:

Loved the Wicked and the Fullmetal Alchemist references!! Really enjoying this fic! Keep up the good work :pinkiehappy:

Now that was a grate chapter. You are doing a grate job on the story and I can't wate for the next chapter. I can't wate to see how she will bring her points to the girls. To have Princess Luna, seeing the proceeding is a stroke of inspiration. Now Luna can see for herself whit has been happening. I wonder whit Twilight's friendship report will be to Princess Celestia this time? A lot of laps of judgment have ben made. I do hope to see a new chapter soon. Keep up the grate work and I mean Grate! :moustache:

that was awesome. great job man. :pinkiehappy:

Now she is giving out more lesson to the ponys whit out hurting them. I like where this is going. Keep up the grate work.:moustache:

3017740
3017171

Thank you both. More is coming, it will just take a short while.
What did you like best? Were there any problems understanding?

are Sarah friend's dead the one in her arm?:fluttercry: wow these ponies need to look in a mirror sometime and ask themselves who the real monster now?

A grate chapter. I wood like to know what happen to Luna after the elements where use on Sarah. I am surprised Princess Celestia and Luna are not the one who are questioning Sarah. Can they not put a translation spell on Sarah to facilitate communication? Why has the elements of harmony not shown up? Sarah was giving grate lesson on misunderstanding people that they don't know. Twilight was having misgivings about whit has happen as the same as all the girls. Luna was there to see Sarah shielding the girls from real harm. Is it out of there hands? Is the fear of Sarah so bad that know one will step in to stop the insanity?

Keep up the grate work, and I can't wait for the next chapter. :moustache:

I regret neglecting to read this now.

Can anyone suggest a good artist? I want to add some art to the story and I need a few references.
Thanks everyone!

3024771
Thanks for the read.
What kept you away?
And what inspired you to read?
What did you like and dislike?

3024973 The reason why I never read it was because it was on my list of things I thought I would check out later. Though every time I was looking through the list of stories I was planning on reading I always thought I found something better. I was wrong. I also finally read it because I thought about it and thought it was really interesting. As for what I liked and disliked, lets make a list!

Likes:

-Great Idea! (I love the whole multidimensional thing, I have a story that focuses on multidimensional stuff too.)
-I like the spacing and how you wrote it. It wasn't rushed but it didn't linger on something for too long like some other stories.
-I like the idea of "D" and "Machina". Not many stories can pull that off in my opinion.

Sadly, Dislike time.

Dislikes:

-While I get she's shy, you don't need to do the whole really small font for Fluttershy. We can imagine how it would have been said. (I say this mainly because I can't see it too well sometimes.
-Personally, I never liked the whole "Type out AJ's accent" thing.

Twilight, Ah think ya'll wanna see this.

Though its not my story so it is entirely up to you as to how you keep writing it. I just think that, much like earlier, we can imagine the accent.
-----------
I didn't see any spelling errors but I wasn't really looking for them so that's my fault. (So none were really too noticeable.)

That's it for me. Sorry for the extremely long post. Keep up the good work.

(PS, I see what you did with the language mix up thingy. I got it after a while of trying things out.)

I agree! More please!!!:raritystarry:

so all her friends are just sealed in her body? thank goodness!! i thought they died! happy and glad but still this trial is gonna get ugly!

Wow! Now things are cumming out. I can't wait to see the conclusion of the court. I wait in grate anticipation, for the next Chapter. Keep up the grate work you are doing whit this story. I hope to see the next chapter soon.

Dragonfox

YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! *gasp* YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! ( It may be hard to tell, but I am happy about what is currently happening...)

3032893 *Coming *grate *grate *grate *with

You're welcome! :trollestia:

Wow a cliffhanger! it has left me wanting more! Keep up the grate job you are doing. I do hope to see the next chapter soon. I have all sorts of questions that will probably be answered in the next chapter or two. I wait with grate anticipation.

Dragonfox :moustache: :twilightsmile:

baby sat by paranoid guards that will hurt her for misunderstanding and still in a world with danger and other creatures that might want her dead anyway to study for being a "alien". i don't think i would be to happy being watch by military with twitchy hoof all the time i hope luna make visits.

timber wolf in the castle anyone? ever free not a faint place to visit easy it forest creature's were bound to try and have a go for a free pony snack with all those worker and there noise they been making and the castle is in a dangerous place in a wild forest i think celestia should think twice about the whole museum idea if she wanted that to happen then she have to move the castle.
wonder how Sarah can help now? her spirit friends can't help protect her and im worried the guards might try and make an "accident" happen since they judge and hit first before questioning. scary.

im sure there a good reason for d acting like this Sarah a very good reason. I bet Sarah glad D and her other companion is alright! but this chapter is so short! sorry just use to longer chapter then this when the wait so long you just expect it to be a longer chapter or another update to follow it up.
hypocritical guards zealots judgmental idiots Sarah a dimensional traveler she a survivor course she had her companions to also help her she probably dealt with this judgement treatment before by other sentient s.

3129304
She would be even happier if he would just stop trying to eviscerate her.

That was grate! I was hoping for a bit more of the story but it was steel good. I hope to see the next chapter vary soon. Keep up the grate work.

Dragonfox

It look like Sarah had a bad time of it when she was working her old job. I like to know if Nightmare Moon is on her side? For sum rezun Sarah thinks this is a bad thing that Nightmare Moon is free within her. Is Nightmare Moon a pees of Luna dark side or was she a evil sprite bent on killing all life? Nightmare Moon was born from Lunas unhappiness. She has all of Lunas memory's. Did she really Intend to Kill all life on Equestria? Was she just trying to fores them to love her? We know that fores love is not real and you can't git it by fear. In anger, you can't see the hole truth except when it to late. That is why Nightmare Moon is in this miss in the first plays. What Nightmare Moon do you have in this story?

On the story, good job. a bit short but still good. I do hope to see more Chapter soon. Keep up the good work. :pinkiehappy:

3164593
If you were Celestia, and you had just watched your guards get their flanks handed to them and then behave so idiotically, would you really want to leave them in that situation?

Their last mistake nearly killed Machina, in the Everfree another mistake like that could cost them all their lives.

Without the guards there is little defense for the contractors. Attempting to renegotiate, especially on the fly, would be costly. Attempting to force them to work on the existing contract would be cruel.

Don't worry, most of the guards have not escaped this encounter unscathed.

hey did Sarah deal with other sentient creature that aren't human in dimensions? i know humanity can be mean but i bet there are sentient out there who could make us look like puppies and kittens for all we know did she ever had to deal with aliens and there scary confusing culture's the good and the bad? a lot can happen so there has to be good memory of travel as well as the bad but that the risk of explorers for all who travel.

3169636
Typically ARCO would send unmanned probes into dimensions before sending live people. There are a few worlds that have mostly human or humanoid race in charge and Sarah has visited quite a few. At this point in time ARCO has been lucky as there have been no Dimension Jumpers lost or killed on the job.

Sarah has had to deal with...alien things and ideas (another flashback has already been planned for a later chapter) that were far meaner than either ponies or humans.

Login or register to comment