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Greenback

Joined January 2013
176 followers

Stories (2)

  • The Monster Below
    An earth pony seeks to transform himself into an Alicorn, but how far is he willing to go to get what he wants?

    185,939 words · 7,576 views · 579 likes · 17 dislikes
  • My Little Sharknado
    Twilight Sparkle and her friends must save Equestria from a deadly tornado filled with killer sharks
    31,702 words · 1,637 views · 123 likes · 17 dislikes

Blog Posts (2)

Source

One of Equestria's greatest traits is tolerance.  Every pony, whether Unicorn, Pegasus, or Earth, is accepted for who they are, and have their own parts to play in keeping Equestria running.

But what if an Earth pony decided he didn't want to play his assigned part?  What if he wanted to rise above everyone else, and become an Alicorn?  Such a thing is possible...but the path to fulfilling one's dreams is never simple.  Risks must be taken.  Sacrifices must be made.  And the question is always asked: How far would you go to get what you wanted?  And would you be willing to pay a terrible price to get it?

First Published
14th Jan 2013
Last Modified
20th Dec 2013

Comments ( 1,214 )

#1 · Chapter 2 · 66w, 2d ago · 2 · 1 ·

MAKE MOAR!!:flutterrage::raritydespair::twilightoops:

#2 · Chapter 2 · 66w, 2d ago · · ·

Now, just out of curiosity, is his "augments" Biological, Mechanical, or Bio-mechanical?

In any shape, I happen to be a fan. Liked and Faved, eagerly awaiting more. :pinkiehappy:

#3 · Chapter 2 · 66w, 1d ago · 2 · 1 ·

Great writing.  

#4 · Chapter 2 · 66w, 1d ago · · ·

I feel silverspeak's pain...:fluttercry:

I do get bullied because I'm a brony and some kids to except that...:ajsleepy:

oh well that's just how they feel and I can't judge:pinkiesmile:

AND THIS IS A REALLY DAMN GOOD STORY!!!:pinkiehappy:

FAV!!:heart::pinkiehappy:

#5 · Chapter 3 · 65w, 5d ago · · ·

Oooh. Keep up the good work!

Can't wait for what comes next!

#6 · Chapter 3 · 65w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Interesting, the idea of turning into an alicorn is not that uncommon, but the twist you added so far makes it worth the read. I'm keeping an eye on this. :moustache:

#7 · Chapter 3 · 65w, 4d ago · · ·

WHY IS THIS STORY NOT ON THE WEEKS BEST!?!?!?:flutterrage::rainbowkiss:

#8 · Chapter 3 · 65w, 3d ago · · ·

This story is great, really.

I want to see how does Silverspeak ends up in such thing like that Alicorn experience, but this story just keeps getting interesting, you can take your time writing the development of the plot, for this story to keep it's high level.

#9 · Chapter 3 · 65w, 2d ago · · ·

* reads description *

* pulls up a fold up chair *

Dis gonna be gud!!!!!!!:pinkiehappy:

#10 · Chapter 3 · 65w, 4h ago · · ·

WHY ISN'T THIS STORY ON THE WEEKS BEST!?!?:raritydespair:

#11 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·

Okay, first of all "Then, at long last, a year and a half after arriving in Manehattan, the day finally came.  I got my largest every paycheck, the result of getting a raise for my diligence and hard work.  And as those bits were put into the bank, I looked my statement over, and smiled.  I finally had enough money to cover all my expenses for at least a year, should the need arise." and "A year after leaving home, and the day finally arrived.  I got my largest paycheck yet, the result of a getting a raise for my diligence and hard work.  And as I looked over my statement, I grinned.  I finally had enough money in the bank to cover all my expenses for a year, should the need arise.", it looks like you double posted, just letting you know. Other than that I really like your premise and am interested in seeing how things play out.

#12 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2024084

Fixed.  Don't know how that slipped in, but thank you for pointing it out.

#13 · Chapter 2 · 64w, 14h ago · 5 · ·

Damn...

just...damn. :fluttercry:

#14 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 13h ago · · ·

Interesting:unsuresweetie:

#15 · Chapter 3 · 64w, 12h ago · 1 · ·

In that first paragraph or so I think "orchestrating" should be "ostracizing".

#16 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 12h ago · · ·

insta faved :heart:

#17 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 12h ago · · ·

Simply amazing.

#18 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 11h ago · · ·

Interested to see where this is headed. I also like a lot of the themes being interpreted and explored here; Alicorns, what makes them tick, earth ponies, cutie marks with either a useless ability or too common ability. A really well written and good read so far!

#19 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 10h ago · · ·

This is very interesting and I'm hooked, not like my opinion matters at all, I'm just writing this comment to motivate you into writing the next chapter.

#20 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 10h ago · · ·

I'll be looking forward to more of this!

#21 · Chapter 2 · 64w, 9h ago · · ·

This is shaping up to be pretty damn good!

Also, "Whoop-de-shoobie-doo." made me laugh so much when I figured it out.

#22 · Chapter 1 · 64w, 7h ago · 7 · ·

I think I'm in love :pinkiecrazy:

#23 · Chapter 1 · 64w, 6h ago · · ·

creepy as fuck.

#24 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 6h ago · 6 · ·

This is a wonderful concept and I am excited to see more.

But first, you might be using too many commas. And a space always comes after an ellipsis.

#25 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 5h ago · · ·

p. sharp text ya got there, keep them coming :heart::pinkiecrazy:

#26 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 4h ago · 5 · ·

It's been a very, very long time since I've been disturbed by something I've read. Stephen King managed to dull my capacity to feel raw unprocessed terror, and I've been desensitized by much over the years.

But this... there's something raw to it. Something truly unsettling and just WRONG that I can't fully articulate. If I can put it into words, I'll be sure to let you know, because it's nuanced and complex beyond one simple issue.

Brilliantly written. You've earned my respect, terror, plus the full watch+like+fav combo. Keep it up, mate.

#27 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 4h ago · · ·

A week into the job hunt, and I was desperate.  I had covered the island, and there wasn't a single job to be found in my chosen field.

I can Painfully Empathize with Silverspeak, him not being able to find anything in his chosen field of work, I've been trying for almost 4 years trying to find ANYTHING in the field of Automotive Repair, only to find Rejection. I've even worked in a grocery store like him (only I got fired for no reason at all just before my Probationary Period was up)

#28 · Chapter 4 · 64w, 1h ago · · ·

This story has a metric ton of potential. A serious word of advice though: find a good editor. I love where your going with this, but you need to get an editor to help catch some of your errors. Trust me, It'll make a huge difference in the quality of your work. Again I love the story and I can't wait to see where you take it, but consider what I said about an editor.

#29 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 6d ago · · ·

It's rare that i favorite a story right off the bat. This story is so good it seems that you are the one with the silvertongue :derpytongue2:

I do agree that getting an editor or prereader will help quite a bit. I've seen several small errors that having a separate set of eyes will easily fix.

Anyways, keep up the great work!

#30 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 6d ago · · ·

A guy after me own heart.  As much as the three types are part of what makes the setting interesting, I always thought it'd be tragic as hell to be the "wrong" kind of pony.  I hope he makes it through and delivers cruel, unfair nature some sweet unicorn Street Justice.

#31 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 6d ago · · ·

Princess Celestia was riding inside my saddlebags on the subway back home

Well that is not something you hear every day.

#32 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 6d ago · · ·

This is exactly the kind of story I am looking for. I will be there everytime this updates and I will always read it as fast as possible. As I also like to say, Everything is possible if you try hard enough.   ~Crimson Sky

#33 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 6d ago · · ·

YAY IT GOT SO MANY LIKES!!!!!!!!!:yay::pinkiehappy:

This calls for...

OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!!!!:pinkiecrazy:

#34 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 5d ago · · ·

This story. :rainbowkiss:

THIS STORY. :pinkiecrazy:

I WANT MORE. :raritydespair:

GIVE ME MORE PLEASE :pinkiesad2:

#35 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 4d ago · · ·

This is awesome. Nice work, Author Dude!

#36 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2048436

I was hoping someone would get a kick out of that; glad you did!

#37 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2050813

I'm looking into getting an editor/proofreader, but for my own reference, what are the types of errors you're noticing?

#38 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2049905

I disturbed you?  After you read Stephen King?  That's...amazing.  I never expected to be compared to him in such a fashion.  Thank you!

#39 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2060642

Another chapter is on the way!  Updates should come every one to two weeks.

#40 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 2d ago · · ·

SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT LOOK DOWN IF YOU HAVENT READ YET!!

:derpytongue2:

:derpytongue2:

:derpytongue2:

:derpytongue2:

:derpytongue2:

you have been warned

:derpytongue2:

:derpytongue2:

:derpytongue2:

:derpytongue2:

:derpytongue2:

holy crap, the nature of the first section made me assume that it was someone else like a demented celestia or his overly protective parents. your twist earned you a cupcake, a favorite, and also my utmost respect. i will be looking forward to the rest of your story. (i have email notification on it:rainbowwild:)

#41 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 23h ago · · ·

>>2066104

Mostly small things like repeated words, and minor grammar errors.

Here's what I've noticed in chapter four:

I needed a little time to settle in before starting, to establish roots and creature a secure base for myself. --The comma isn't really needed. You only really need them before for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so. This one isn't so bad and could be left in. It just stuck out to me. You use your comma fine at the end of that paragraph though. Creature should be create, although creaturing a base could involve guard animals... Heh.

Seeking to start the day on a high note, I dressed and went in search of a leisurely breakfast, finding it a few blocks away at a nice little café that served the most delicious breakfast burritos. --The second comma in this sentence is another that can be left in, but it just seems a little out of place.

There wasn’t much to see there for tourists to see --Just remove one of the "to see's"

...so as to see what kind of toys the little colts and fillies of the city had to play with. --Sounds a little awkward. Leaving out 'so as' would probably help. Not really an error. More of my opinion really. You might want to try limiting your sentence length too. That whole sentence could be broken into two and it would read better.

Those are some examples of what I'm seeing, and there are a couple more like them throughout the chapter. I did notice that you like your colons and parentheticals though. It's fine to use them, but it breaks up the flow of a paragraph, so be careful where you do use them.

I really loved that knight toy too. It's just something I can imagine Equestrians making. Anyway, sorry for the late response. If you need any help or advice send me a PM.

#42 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 20h ago · · ·

>>2075717

Thank you!  I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

#43 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 20h ago · · ·

>>2082830

Hmm...good points.  I'll try to keep an eye out for them in future chapters!

#44 · Chapter 4 · 63w, 2h ago · · ·

:yay: made an account just to keep track of this, it's awesome, i love it!! keep up the great work!!

#45 · Chapter 4 · 62w, 6d ago · · ·

You have piqued my interest, Greenback.  I look forward to more from you, have a fave and thumb, and i'm tracking this.

#46 · Chapter 5 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2086912

Wow, thank you!  I'll do my best!

#47 · Chapter 5 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2088703

Yay!  I can has a favthumb!

#48 · Chapter 5 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

This is awesome and I can't wait to see more chapters. Thanks, Author!

#49 · Chapter 5 · 62w, 5d ago · · ·

Honestly, I'd go pretty far for something like that. Hay, I'd probably do something as absurd as breaking the law. After all, the laws of mortals come after the laws of life, and if you're willing to break the second, breaking the first should be second nature.

But honestly, I'd try to schedule an appointment with Twilight, or one of the princesses. They seem like nice enough mares, and they do have an eternity to do whatever else they want. One discussion can't hurt, could it?

All in all, good work, and keep going!

#50 · Chapter 5 · 62w, 4d ago · · ·

This reminds me of Nabokov's Lolita in some strange way. I like it.

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