I Destroyed Your Dream
It wasn't long before Beakbreaker came into the holding room, accompanied by Mangus and three orderlies. She was calm and professional as she came to me and said that my muzzle would be removed if I remained calm and didn't lash out.
I made no move to indicate that I heard her.
Beakbreaker asked me if I understood what she was saying. When I didn't answer, Mangus said that this was all a waste of time, and that I clearly wasn't going to cooperate. But Beakbreaker ignored him, instructing the orderlies to remove the muzzle. Mangus protested, but Beakbreaker said that we would get nowhere by treating me like a caged animal.
The orderlies worked fast, using their magic to remove the muzzle.
I remained still, making no move to bite them.
Coming in just outside of my biting range, Beakbreaker asked me several questions, wanting to know if I was in any pain, and if I understood what had happened.
I didn't answer her.
Mangus butted in once more, saying that I was throwing a silent tantrum, and wasn't interested in talking. But Beakbreaker refused to give up, saying that I would probably feel better in familiar surroundings. She told the orderlies to move the bed to her apartment.
I was wheeled down the halls, gawked at by startled ponies seeing me pushed along like a wild beast in a cage. Their shock was greater at seeing my empty back. I was no longer a pegasus pony, but an all-too common earth pony.
A nobody.
We reached Beakbreaker's apartment, and after some quick shuffling of the furniture, she had my bed put before the window overlooking Manehattan. Once it was in place, she asked me if I wanted anything.
I said nothing.
Realizing that Mangus was probably right about the tantrum, she said that she would leave me to myself for a little while but would come back soon. She left with the orderlies, who locked the door behind them.
I was left to watch as Manehattan went about its day, watching pegasus ponies fly through the skies, free to go wherever they wished.
***
Night fell, and Beakbreaker returned, accompanied by two unicorn orderlies. “Hello, Silverspeak. I hope you're feeling a little better.”
I said nothing.
Beakbreaker put some food containers on the table. “I brought you some food. Figured you're probably hungry.” Opening one, she came over and showed me the sandwich inside.
I didn't even look.
“Silverspeak, please, you have to eat. You haven't had any solid food since we left Saddle Lanka. I don't want to put a feeding tube in you, but I'll have to if you don't cooperate. You need nutrients. And if you want to stay silent... well, you can.”
She put the sandwich back on the table, then started to undo my straps. The orderlies rushed forward, but Beakbreaker indicated for them to stay back as she undid the last strap, then went to the table.
For a few minutes, I remained still. Then I eased myself off the bed, went to the table, and started to eat, taking slow, methodical bites.
The orderlies remained where they were, never taking their eyes off me.
Beakbreaker tried to eat her sandwich, but didn't have an appetite. “Silverspeak... I know you're angry at me, and I accept that. You have every right to be, but please understand: I was only trying to help you.”
I kept eating.
“I judged that, based on the results of my tests, your life was in immediate danger from being infected by dead tissues. I figured that no matter what I said, you'd refuse to have them removed, even if they were minutes away from fatally poisoning you,”
I took another bite.
“Time was running out, and I didn't know what to do, so I went to Mangus and asked him to help me. I thought he wouldn't, considering the whole drugging fiasco, but he was actually really eager. He wanted to just storm in and take you, but I persuaded him to wait until you sleeping.” She gave a nervous chuckle. “Well, I know we won't be able to sneak up on you to do pranks anytime soon.”
I swallowed a mouthful of the sandwich.
“You're also wondering why we strapped you down like we did. The truth is, I just didn't know how you'd react to finding your wings gone, if you would be logical, or violent. I didn't know, and erred on the side of caution. And please believe me, if there had been any other way to avoid it, any at all, I would have taken it. I would have given anything, anything to make this easier for you.”
I remained silent.
“You're probably wondering why I would risk so much for my secretary. Well, the reason is...”
Beakbreaker paused, tried to find the words, sweating all the while. “The reason is because... you're my friend. My only real one, actually.”
She got out of her seat and got close to me. The orderlies flinched, but Beakbreaker indicated for them to remain where they were.
“Silverspeak... Ever since you got those wings, I watched you agonize over them. I was so worried about you, especially when it seemed like it just wasn't working out. I had hoped you'd realize it too, but you didn't. And then there were your parents... They came to me after the presentation in Saddle Lanka and asked me if the wings were doing anything to you, personality-wise. I told them yes, I thought they were.”
I stopped eating.
“And then all this happened: The horn, attacking your father, refusing to see reason; you were becoming obsessed. I've heard of this happening with other ponies, Silverspeak. My colleagues, they've see ponies destroy themselves going after dreams they can't fulfill. They become so obsessed that they forget about their families, their jobs, everything.”
She stopped, wiping sweat away.
“Yes, I took your wings, but only to save your life. The Silverspeak I know is kind and polite, doesn't attack others, and doesn't risk his life over such trivial things. I know that perhaps you'd rather die without those wings, but I... I couldn't let that happen. Not after all this.”
She took another step closer to me.
“Ever since we met, you've encouraged me on. You were the one who helped me whenever bad things came. Now I want to help you. I want you to see that you can have a good life without wings. I know you don't believe me, but it's true. And when we were in Saddle Lanka, I tried to find out a way to tell you, but I never got the chance. But now... Well, now seems as good a time as any.”
She reached out and took my hoof in hers.
The orderlies took a step forward.
Beakbreaker looked me right in the eyes. “Silverspeak... for so long I've considered you a friend, but now... Well, now I want to take the next step. It's like back in school, when young ponies would tell their boyfriends that they 'like them, like them.' Silverspeak, I... I like you, like you. And your parents, when they realized it, suggested to me that I could show you what kind of life you might have if... if the two of us were... together.”
She stopped, bit her lip, and waited for me to say something.
I didn't.
Beakbreaker sweated. She started to shake. “Please, Silverspeak, say something.”
I didn't.
“Please... I know my career is probably shot. I might lose my medical license for operating on you. And if your wings went, then the others will probably go. And if that happens...well, I won't have anything left. I'll be a nothing. But I'll have you. We can work our way through this. Please.”
“You destroyed it,” I whispered.
“What?”
“You destroyed my dream,” I said.
“I don't want to destroy anyone's dream,” Beakbreaker said quickly. “I didn't want to destroy yours, either, but-”
“Liar.” I got out of the chair, shaking so badly I had to grab it to steady myself. “You rotten, stinking, little liar.”
The orderlies tensed, ready to tackle me.
My heart was racing. I had never felt so angry before. “All those years, all that effort, wasted by a pathetic whelp who gave up too easily. I don't see what I ever saw in you in the first place.”
Beakbreaker took a step back. “What?”
“Wake up Beakbreaker!” I snapped. “Do you really think I helped you out of the generosity of my heart? That I cared about your dreams, or only had your best intentions in mind?! No! I used you, and you were too stupid to realize it!”
Beakbreaker went pale.
“I told you what you wanted to hear, whispered suggestions, gave you ideas, and you fell for them, hook line and sinker!” I couldn't stop, the words coming out faster and faster. “I even manipulated Medicomp itself, through those brain-dead CEO's who can only think of the almighty bit, and can't see five feet in front of themselves! All of it was to get those wings! To get a horn! And now, because you had a panic attack, it's all ruined! You hear me?! Ruined! Years of work, gone, and it's all because of you!”
Beakbreaker was silent. So too, were the orderlies, who couldn't believe what they were hearing.
“All that time... all that kindness... your friendship...” Beakbreaker whispered. “It was all... a lie?”
I turned away.
“Tell me that's not true,” Beakbreaker said, her voice shaking. “Please, tell me it's not true!”
I remained silent.
“Tell me!” Beakbreaker begged, tears falling to the floor. “Tell me! Please, tell me!”
“I... I don't know,” I finally said. “I don't know.”
“You don't know if you're telling the truth or not?!”
I spun. “I said I don't know!” I closed my eyes, took a deep breath. “Maybe you did act to save my life. Fine. It's done. And maybe you did save my life. But I'm not giving up. I'm going to get another set of wings. I have enough bits to buy them, and Medicomp will want me back. So I'll get them, make sure this doesn't happen again, and everyone will be happy.”
Beakbreaker wiped away her tears. “You can't.”
“What? You going to stop me? Strap me back down and keep me locked up in your apartment for the rest of my life?”
She shook her head. “While you were out, I told the CEO's about what was happening, and how bad your shoulder tissues were. I told them we should stop selling the wings until we figure out what's wrong. They agreed; the company's going to announce it to the public tomorrow.”
“So I'll wait. I'll get another pair when they're better.”
Beakbreaker sniffed. “No, Silverspeak. I also told them that the wings aren't compatible with anyone who isn't a pegasi.”
My heart froze. “You... You don't know that!”
“I checked. I used some of your DNA with a sample of the wings, did the same for another earth pony, then exposed the DNA of a pegasus pony to another sample. The pegasus wings are doing fine, but the earth pony sample rejected the muscles. Your sample did too. I told the CEO's that, based on those results, and what happened to you, they should stop selling the wings to non-pegasi... Permanently.”
She sniffed again. “They agreed.”
The color drained from my face.
“I'm sorry, Silverspeak, but I couldn't let others undergo what you have. And I knew you'd try to get wings again. I... I had to protect you from yourself. It was simply for your own good.”
Something snapped inside me.
Wiping the last of her tears away, Beakbreaker said, “Now, we can work this out-”
“Get out.” I whispered.
“Silverspeak, we're both mad, but we-”
“Get out.”
She took my hoof. “Please, we can-”
“GET OUT!” I screamed.
Beakbreaker was so caught off guard that she fell to the floor. So did the orderlies. But their shock was nothing compared to Beakbreaker's, who stared at me in terror. Never had I raised my voice against her, or screamed with the unfiltered fury of a soul who's only purpose in life had been taken away.
And in that moment, seeing the hatred in my eyes, she realized that everything I had said earlier was the truth.
Beakbreaker scrambled backwards. She only got out one anguished sob before running from the room. The orderlies, shocked at seeing Medicomp's spokespony have such a meltdown, went with her.
Pain shot from my now-empty shoulders. Furious, I reared back, grabbed the stitches where my beautiful wings had once been and ripped them out, roaring at the pain until I was screaming. Blood splashed against the walls as I bucked, smashing the table and sending food flying across the room. I kicked, thrashed, and screamed incoherently, no longer feeling anything but pure, unfiltered rage at the unfairness of it all.
Finally, I stopped. The room lay in tatters, the table, sofa, and chairs demolished, with the chandelier half-broken, and holes embedded in the walls. I spun, looking for something else I could destroy, something precious and beautiful that I could tear apart. But there was nothing left.
I had destroyed it all.
For a long moment I stood there, running on nothing but adrenaline, which then seeped away, leaving me drained and feeling more empty than I had ever felt, and more alone than I had ever been.
I collapsed to the ground, sobbing, wishing that everything would just go away.
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And we're back at square one at least. We might actually be further back than square one, seeing as there's a reputation around him now. He can't go anywhere without being seen and tomorrow everyone will know what happened to him.
Is this the time where he goes towards more illegal means?
3007185
Ominous as hell.
3007094, To create the spoiler box, you must type the word "spoiler" between closed brackets in the same fashion that typing "b" in closed brackets creates bold text or "s" creates strikethrough.
(opening bracket)spoiler(close bracket) Insert spoiler text here. (open bracket)/spoiler(close bracket)
Something like that. Hope that helps.
...
Edit: Dang. ... Silver released his inner Light Yagami "I am Kira" outburst. The pain and anger of one who wanted to be god of the new world and lost any and all chance of becoming so.
Now I see the darkness of which this story is capable.
You destroyed my shipping SilverSpeak!
Fuck,I wanted them so much to be together and now I don't think that is even possible,Damn SilverSpeak you are becoming a monster.oh-please-dont-let-this-be-true-face
And going crazy,I forgot about that.This is my favorite dark story I've ever read.And one of my favorites in general,with past sins and a guard and a princess
Holeee shiiiiit...
Yes, now is where he is going to look for an organ dealer or he'll become one.
More please.
This chapter was heavy, probably the hardest to Silverspeak yet. Now, with no wings, trowing away his only ally, and back to ground zero.
Thus, it begins again...
Well now he is well and truly broken.
He just destroyed her apartment. A+ for being a good guest.
Looks like somepony has just reached rock bottom. Or... maybe not
. That remains to be seen.
Who rises up, the harder they fall.
And hell, he did fall of the Mount Everest to the ground of the Mariana Crater.
If i think over all this chapters... Silverspeak DID only control and manipulated everyone around him. It's making me sad. In both ways. On the first hand, all those manipulations. On the other hand, everything went so bad for him. He tried, he TRIED REALLY HARD! And now it's all gone.
Dreams are only there to stay dreams.
In the end of the Chapter, i felt with him. There was liquid pride in my eyes.
Unfortunately, the Chapter was kinda small, in my opinion. Maybe a bit more information what Silverspeak felt and thought between the Time he was alone in Beakbreaker's apartment.
Anyway, i am totally eager to see coming up chapters. PLEASE don't let us wait to long
My god. Has this story gotten dark. The emotions in this chapter we're very well done. Good job. It's hard to imagine that this story can have a happy ending now, considering the circumstances. I guess we'll have to wait and see. Any who. Great update. Keep up the good work.
Man, you really know how to toy with peoples emotions, and now I hate Silverspeak- that vicious, stupid, psycho bastard. Now I want Celestia, Mangus, and the librarian to beat the manure out of him so that Beakbreaker will be avenged. I am really depressed that Silverspeak blew it.
Saddest. Most rage-inducing. Chapter. Ever.encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQcL_mwx8dcsnkYMtpCp8kMUcfLoj6HEZCa4K9z0O7jA34_Nyzk
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Also, if Silverspeak actually reaches his dream (doubt it) he will still be miserable, empty, and lonely because he had kept forgetting about what really matters most- his family, his friends, and his morality.
He hasn't hit rock bottom yet. All he's done completed his face-heel turn. Rock bottom will be when he's actually arrested for his actions and incarcerated.
He's not a complete monster yet, either. He's a master wordsmith, knowing exactly what to say to hurt Beakbreaker, but he was silent when she asked him if his friendship was a lie or not.
That could be interpreted a couple of ways... since he was obviously trying to hurt Beakbreaker with his words, why didn't he just say "Yes it was a lie," driving the pointed edge of his sharp tongue home? Or to paraphrase Alan Rickman "Because it's dull, you twit. It'll hurt more" That is, blunt silence would be far more painful to Beakbreaker than his sharp wit, which wasn't at its sharpest at the moment anyway. Was it all a lie? Probably not. He felt something during all of it. But first and foremost in his mind was always his dream. Beakbreaker and his parents betrayed him by getting in the way of that dream. Perhaps he'll forgive them if he ever achieves his ascension, but he doesn't strike me as a "Tiny Celestia Bless the Broken Road" type of pony, at least not right now.
Whether he truly cares for Beakbreaker or not, her usefulness to him has ended. She will never help him toward his goal again, and will likely try to hinder him. The same goes for his parents, and especially Magnus (for whom there is little reason for anyone to care about). He is better off cutting ties with everyone and starting over.
Rock Bottom? Don't be silly. This fall ends with Silverspeak laughing maniacally as he drains foals of their life force. He's gonna embrace his inner Walter White now.
3007254
Sounds like he needs help from a friendly doomsday cult. (they tried to steal the limbs!!!)
I don't feel sad for Silverspeak, not any more.
I just feel... Empty.
His life is crashing around him, and he's losing the light that once shone in his heart.
If he hasn't already lost it.
OH SHIT! I just realized something. If the CEO's have they horn and they won't trust him anymore... are they legally bound to keep what he himself found, or will they use some kind of legalize bullshit to keep it out of his hooves.
As for Beakbreaker. Good luck living on the streets.
3007643
I think you're forgetting chapter 1.
Plural form required.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
BTW, I wasn't kidding when I said I'd want to be a proofreader in my comment on the previous chapter.
I still feel sorry for Silverspeak, mainly because he's gone insane thanks to his inferiority complex and what's happened. I can sort of understand him going nuts like this, but to rip out his own stitches like that... O_o
Congratulations on such clever wordplay in this chapters title, it took me a reread for it to click for me.
And I did not expect Silverspeech's vengeance to be so swift or brutal. Poor Beakbreaker... even if I think she deserved it. A scientist like her, should frankly understand the concept of being willing to risk one's health for knowledge and respected his wishes accordingly.
A most clever (and heartbreaking) twist, even if it made me happy to see a OC pony surpass his name, for once... Even if it was in a act of destruction.
But that's really another layer to the tragedy of him, isn't it? He and his silver tongue could have anything he desired... except the one thing he does dream for, is almost certainly beyond the reach of honeyed words. Even if he found himself in a situation to do a deed that would impress Celestia using them... Well, in real life, diplomats seldom get the kind of respect they deserve. Who care's to sing songs of battles never fought? Stuff like that.
A medal and fame, sure. Perhaps even a noble title, if sufficiently impressive... But ascension? Simply not gonna happen.
any other way?
if SilverSpeak come from a only-unicron family than he would be able to get the horn and somehow use it
I feel so bad for Beakbreaker tho.
She's seriously the only Zebra fanfic OC i can think of other than like, Xenith.
3015656 *blows music note* I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!!!
You know who Silverspeak kind of reminds me of? Light Yagami. Megalomaniacal, narcissistic, and absolutely relentless, not to mention being possessed by the dream of ascension. The only path that lies before him now is a very dark one. This can't end well.
DAMN
silly me for thinking this could end fine.
well sir Greenback you have earned the rank of "MLP MOFFAT" all the whovians know what I mean....
I have a serious craving for MOORREEE
But seriously keep up the good work.
So i read all twenty chapters in one day.......
My god these feels.....i feel like i just finished bioshock again and need to take a walk
3007500
Ah, thank you! Much appreciated!
3007530
Oh wow, tto have this be in someone's favorite stories is an honor!
3007894
I did experiment a lot with this chapter (it was also the one with the most re-writes and revisions) with what to reveal and how long it would go. I specifically wanted to avoid commenting on the emotions too much in hopes that they would simply come through without trying to force them. I also wanted to have a build up to Silverspeak finally letting everything out by having him remain silent, and having the reader guess what he was thinking after having his wings removed.
But if you had liquid pride in your eyes, then I think it worked!
3008009
Thank you! This was actually quite draining to write on an emotional level, due to having to try and imagine how both Silverspeak and Beakbreaker would feel (I've actually never had any emotional breakups or betrayals like they have, so I have to guess what it would be like).
3008293
You hate him? Wow, I wasn't going for that kind of reaction.
3008736
Thank you for posting that; without revealing anything, I went back and forth a lot on what to write, and it's amazing from an author's point of view to see this analysis, and know that it could have been completely rewritten based on how those passages were presented, and what they were like in earlier revisions.
3009236
3009685
Silverspeak did use the freak argument in an earlier draft of the chapter, but considering how he's used it before, I wanted to avoid it sounding too redundant.
3010007
Fixed; that "loose" somehow slipped through the spell-checker, but I know to keep an eye out for that in the future.
3011153
Did you catch the second meaning of the title as well? It can apply to what Beakbreaker did to Silverspeak, but also to what Silverspeak says to her in return.
I think that Silverspeak could, in theory, manage to talk his way into the royal palace if he set his mind to it (but in no way could he even dream of swaying the sisters with his silver tongue), but you're very right that while it can help him grasp at what he wants, he just can't get it.
3011242
Whoops, that was indeed supposed to be other, rather then there. And I swear, I'll get the hang of than and then one of these days!
3013298
Considering how many zebra OCs are in the fandom, that's a great honor to hear! Thank you!
3023301
Moffat? *quick wikipedia search* Ah!
3024674
Don't worry, there's still more on the way, including my favorite chapters of the entire story.
3030621
I know how you feel, since I had to take a walk after finishing Bioshock too. And it makes me happy that you'd even mention my story in the same sentence as the game!
Wow, all of them in a single day?
2977529
2988739
3010007
Sorry you two, don't know how I missed those...could have sworn I had replied to them! Check your inboxes!
Whoa, that's gotta sting .
Talking about Silverspeak and Beakbreaker here. Doubly so for Silverspeak because, well, he ripped out his stitches. Yeah, that kind of made me cringe a little.
Anyway.
Wow, this chapter was quite a ride. Half as long as the other chapters but twice as impacting. And just like the last chapter, I have no idea where it goes from here. Looking back on it, I should have seen this confrontation coming. Heh, after reading the last chapter I was like "OH EM JEE, WHERE DOES THIS GO" and you went "Well, Beakbreaker talks to him about it." That... should have been pretty obvious for me. But jeez, what DOES he do from here? They stitch him back up, and when they deem him safe they'll release him. But to what? It's going to be a while before he builds any trust with anybody.
Oh, and I don't mean to be "that guy" (which means I'm totally about to be "that guy") but during Silverspeak's apartment-wrecking stint, weren't there still two orderlies in the room? Silverspeak's thrashing around, breaking everything, and bleeding profusely the whole time, aren't they supposed to stop him? Then again, he seemed pretty insane at the time, I guess there's the excuse that they're scared that if they cut in they'll get taken down by some leg sweeps and some sick elbow drops.
...
Sorry, been watching Best Friends Rustlemania, kind of on a faux-wrestling binge.
Anyway.
The usual "Can't wait for the next chapter" with a side of "I have no idea where this goes".
Keep it up, buddy.
3032986
Nobody is perfect. I enjoy reading your story so much that I also don’t notice these small errors first.
I use the Ctrl+F to find them. You should do the same and recheck those nasty “than/then” and “loose/lose” before you posting the new chapters.
Little late but in chapter 19:
I think this should be “its”.
3040625
3032986
I've also used Ctrl+F specifically on lo(o)se than/then to find the same sort of errors.
Btw, "it's" is short for it is. The other version "its" indicates something belong to "it", i.e. the possessive form.
Forget the spelling errors. I'm guessing everyone here has a high understanding of the English language and can guess what the author is trying to say. Anyway awesome story, keep up the good work. Can't wait to read more.
3032993
wait. Exactly how many chapters ahead of us are you?
3032959
Late Reply (whoops!)
Hehe... That chapter was full of feels.
About me hating Silverspeak; it's a yes and no.
I don't hate Silverspeak bluntly. But I hate him for what he had put his family and friends through.
It's sad, aggravating, and pitiful.