I make fanfiction sometimes. Just call me 'Talentless'.
The Apple Family will be first to tell you how great of a pony Applejack is. She's hard-working, faithful, strong, and even honest!
...She's also pretty tolerant of other ponies' faults too.
But when Sweet Apple Acres needs some extra help, and a certain forgetful earth pony is assigned to work alongside Applejack, will she lose that tolerance, or will she end up feeling more than just aggravation for this clumsy stallion?
A CaramelXApplejack ( CaraJack / AppleMel ) fanfiction.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Intriguing. You have a good setup here, so I'm looking forward to seeing how everything works out. Just try not to make Caramel into too much of a screwup. Having some competence on his part is fine.
2042833
Don't worry; I have this little personality look-off for him, and 'incompetent' is not on there.
I look forward to more of this!
No glaring errors....fairly well written (maybe a tad more description needed..)
But overall, worth a thumbs up and a fav!
I look forward to caramel's personality. Maybe breaking from the klutz perspective everyone has of him...(but maybe he just forgot the seeds twice and that was it?)
People who thumbs down b/c it isn't an Appledash fic....get over it.
2043018
I have his personality written down as only somewhat forgetful, so no worries there.
Caramel shall forget everything. MUHAHAHA!
2043026
Woohoo! I've always been a fan of Caramel/Applejack.
If you hit a writers block/want someone to bounce ideas off of *raises hoof*
2043184
Thanks!
But I already have the entire thing written down; since Applejack already knows Caramel, there's no need for a whole 'introduction' thing.
That being said, this will be a good deal shorter than my previous story.
Great so far! I'm especially looking forward to your interpretation of Caramel.
Hey, you've gotten better grammar-wise.
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It's here! Weeee! (i'll read this later tonight)
2043428
And pssst. Did you notice?
Indented paragraphs~
2046100
Haha, I did.
Although, even there, your grammar isn't perfect. Sorry for the delay, but here we go:
I found all of your problems in ending the dialogue. I think I covered this in your last fic, though.
Yours truly,
~Max
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This pleases me
I'll give it a fav
2046670 Reminds me, of me.
Yesh!!
Hmm...Applejack's reaction strikes me as something more than general annoyance, possibly something personal.
D'AAAAAAW tender sister moment. Suppressed feelings moment. Go on.
Yes, go on.
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Round two.
Red: Fix to comma.
Yellow: Capitalize.
Blue: Pretty much anything else.
Y'know, I might as well go over the rules of dialogue again.
1. Never end a bit of dialogue followed by a "he/she said" sort of thing with a period.
2. When you use a question mark, an ellipsis, or an exclamation point, you have to capitalize the next word.
3. Whenever a new character talks, its a new paragraph.
Things I like about the story:
I like that it isn't an insta-love sort of deal.
You have mastered the concept of indenting your paragraphs.
It is well written.
You wrote it.
The only thing I have to edit is the dialogue.
Its an uncanny shipping.
~Max
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2054157
I think you might be onto something there~
But shhhhh~
2055086
I apologize; I do.
But that's just the way I write. </3
2055086
Not true. If the quotation ends with anything other than a comma, you do not need to capitalize unless the next word is the start of a separate sentence. If it's just a continuation along the lines of "he/she said/asked/etc," then the first letter of the next word outside of the quotation does not need to be capitalized.
2056622
Thanks for clarifying that for me. That was the one thing that I was fuzzy on.
Will read got about 30 faves I gotta catch up on
Well dayum, Applejack.
Sma-sma-sma-sma-smackdown.
Poor Caramel
Sounds like Applejack as a grudge......
Ooooouch.... Caramel's right... What is Applejack's deal? Anypony has to have a lot of practice before they get real good a job. Ya can't just throw em in the ring and expect them to be naturals.
I really can't wait to see why Applejack feels like that about Caramel. I also love the Chance-A-Lot reference. I'm rooting for Caramel!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSH!!!!!!!!!
2062606
I'm SO glad that someone caught that reference. <3
I'm almost glad that I'm sick today, it seems like everything good updates on Mondays.
Go get him Applejack!
Where's the kiss?
No kiss or anything? Come on! You can't have a romance story with no kissing in it. That's one of the core aspects of a romance story.
A good story all around and I have to give props to Granny Smith about her involvement in the plan to get Caramel and Applejack together. Though I have to say I'm not a fan of FlutterMac at all, so it kind of left me feeling a little disappointed to see that little scene.
2088854
I'm sorry.
I wanted to go a different route than the usual romance story and leave it on a kind of 'she's-crushing-back-on-him-now-but-no-relationship-yet' ending.
2089033
Sorry. I wanted to connect it to my earlier story; feel free to only think of it as a friend-thing though?
2089043 At least make a sequel please where this all picks up and they both fall into a relationship. Don't leave us hanging please.
2089051
Oh, um...I don't know.
I didn't mean to dissapoint anypony.
2089059 Why not add one last chapter as an epilogue where Caramel and Applejack fall into a relationship and their first date and kiss?
2089065
I really don't know...I wanted it to be open-ended...
2089067 well if you want to.
2089067 This kind of ending works for me. By and large, ambiguous endings are not a bad thing. To make matters better, you did an excellent job on it.
Awww, a sweet ending to a sweet story. It definitely leaves people wanting more, but it also opens up new possibilities. Overall, I really liked this fanfic.
I'm okay with this. Author's choice.
2089944
2089978
2090068
It feels so awesome that not everyone hates this ending.
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Aww, that was nice.
I like how Caramel and Applejack don't instantly fall into each other's arms, even after Caramel's confession. It's ambiguously positive, and leaves room for a sequel (hint hint).
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2739780
I would like to hear the story in why they call him 'Mel