• Published 15th May 2013
  • 2,981 Views, 19 Comments

The Pit - ugugg93



A freak accident leaves Applejack and Rarity trapped under a rock slide. Both will be changed forever, but in different ways.

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The Pit

The world was dark. Terribly dark.

The air in the pit smelled of sulfur, irritating Applejack's nose as she breathed in the terrible stench—the simple act sending a series of hacks throughout her entire body. With each heave, her lungs instinctively tried their very best to remove the thick cloud of offending particles that she kept inhaling, but every time she coughed, more of the fine dust filled her lungs again. Thankfully, the air was calm enough to allow the dust she was not inhaling to eventually settle, though not before Applejack nearly choked to death on it.

She tried to blink away the irritating dust as tears filled her eyes. There really wasn't anything to look at, so she didn't even bother to try and wipe away the obscuring liquid. Wherever she was was pitch black, making it impossible to actually see anything. Not only that, but with the exceptions of the small sounds of pebbles falling, the slight shifts in the larger boulders, and her own breathing, there wasn't a single noise to be heard. Add in the air still smelling nastier than anything she had experienced before, and she had to wonder if she had somehow fallen into Tartarus itself.

The idea was ridiculous, but the theory held in her mind regardless.

Again, Applejack felt a tingle in her throat, and with heavy heaves, was attacked with a fit of coughs. Pain shot through her chest as her lungs forced themselves to injury just to try and get something out of them. Applejack raised a hoof to her mouth, and did her best to muffle the terrible sounds coming from her throat. It was almost a minute before the hacking subsided, and when over, Applejack sighed, relaxed her body, and rubbed her eye with a hoof.

Recovering somewhat, she tried to call out, but the pain and the dust in her throat reduced it to nothing more than a muted squeak. Smacking her lips a little bit, she did her very best to work some saliva back into her throat, with only the most meager success. Again she cried out, but while she did not painfully cough like last time, her voice was more akin to the call of a mouse than that of a pony. Applejack groaned, and worked her lips yet again, hoping to feel the relief of liquid in her mouth.

At last—even if her voice was still subdued—Applejack finally called out. “Rarity!”

Yet there was no answer. With a pained moan, Applejack lethargically brought herself to her hooves and carefully started to lift herself up into a standing position. Alas, her back thumped into a rock above her just as her legs were halfway extended, pushing her back into her previous position.

Growling, Applejack muttered, “Dumb rock...”

She resigned herself to simply crawling forward along the rocks as she made her way toward the unknown. The sharp edges of the ground below her scratched against her belly, a sure sign that she was no longer on lush grass, but a cluster of boulders that had thankfully avoided crashing on top of her. It was impossible to verify in the dark and tight space, but she could just feel her coat being yanked out in clumps by the rough surfaces of the rocks below.

Suddenly, she bumped her nose into something completely different from the rest of the pit's cold stone. Instead of the familiar hard rocks that were on all sides of her, she had bumped her head into something softer. It wasn't dirt or grass, but something else. Something much more refined.

Applejack nudged said object with her nose, and whispered. “Rarity? Rarity wake up.”

Nothing.

Again, Applejack nudged her—harder this time. “Rarity, wake up.”

This time, a soft, barely audible groan escaped from Rarity. It was weak—Applejack almost didn't even notice it—but it was enough to confirm that the worst had not come to pass. Yet at least.

Applejack shook the thought out of her head. Instead, she nudged Rarity one more time. “Rarity, are ya awake?”

There was a second of pause, before a voice appeared from the black. A voice far too quiet. “Yes... yes I am...”

Before Applejack could say anything more, a dim light materialized from the tip of Rarity's horn. The light pierced through the darkness, and brought illumination to the tiny space. Massive rocks walled the two mares off from the world, with not a single crack or crevice to let natural light in. Applejack was lying on one of these large rocks, though whether this one was one of the many from the collapse or it was always here, she wasn't sure. As for Rarity, other than the few spots of torn-out hair on her sides and the generous amount of dirt on her, she looked alright.

Except for the particularly large rock pinning her rear legs.

Softly, Rarity asked, “Is there... is there a way out?”

“I don't think so, sugarcube.” Applejack gazed around the scantily lit cavern once more as she spoke. “I think we're stuck here.”

A sigh escaped from Rarity's lips, bringing Applejack's attention back to Rarity in time to see her gaze fall to the ground below. “I... I see. Then... we're not going to make it then... are we?”

“Not yet we ain't,” Applejack replied, her mind focusing on the task at hand. “But first things first—we gotta get you unstuck.” Shifting her hooves under her a little, Applejack instructed Rarity, “On three, I'm gonna lift this here rock. When I do, pull your legs out from there. Alright?”

Rarity lazily bobbed her head up and down. “Yes... yes okay...”

“Alright. One... two... three!”

With all the strength that she could muster, Applejack attempted to lift the boulder up from on top of her friend's legs. Before Applejack had moved the stone more than a few centimeters, Rarity's eyes flared wide, and she let out a blood-curdling scream. As the scream filled the pit, the light on the tip of her horn flickered and flared with wild vigor. The yell had barely a chance to echo off of the walls of rocks around them before Applejack stopped trying to lift the boulder, and set it back down on the ground as gently as possible.

“Rarity!” Applejack screamed, her eyes wide and breath quickened. She laid herself back down as quickly as possible, and did her best to give Rarity the best comfort as possible given the close confines of the prison that they were in. “Rarity! You alright!?”

She responded to the contact by stifling her scream, though the loud whimpers that still escaped Rarity's clamped mouth told how she was feeling. Even through this, Rarity did find the will to close her eyes and nod an affirmation—an affirmation that Applejack didn't believe for even a second. Still, Applejack let the little lie sit, and instead continued to keep herself right up against Rarity, and rub the side of her head against the trapped mare.

A full minute passed before Rarity's whimpers began to subside—the pain apparently numbing enough to become bearable once again. For her part, Applejack settled herself down into a more comfortable position, and took another look around at the place they were in in hopes of finding something—anything—that she might have missed the last time. Applejack's ears lowered to her head when she saw there was still nothing except for the rocks above, the rocks below, and the mare by her side.

Seeing the hopeless sight once again, Applejack sighed, and muttered, “Horseapples.”

Surprisingly, Applejack heard Rarity giggle lightly, though a hiss of pain stopped the sound prematurely. As soon as Rarity regained her composure, she whispered, “Horseapples indeed.”

Despite the cold feeling of hopelessness in her heart, Applejack couldn't help but let the tiniest of grins grow across her face. “You? Cursing? Never thought that I'd see the day.”

Rarity let a larger smile appear on her face, and closed her eyes. With each word surprisingly articulate, she airily spoke, “Please, Applejack. I am a lady, and as such, I am allowed to say whatever I wish when I am with my closest friends. This is quite the... situation we are in, and since I consider you a close friend, I believe that 'horseapples' suits quite nicely.”

Applejack grinned wider. “I ain't buying it.”

“Me either, but still: horseapples.”

Together, the two giggled, allowing their brief moment of levity to overtake the gloom of the cavern. Indeed, Applejack's laugh was as genuine as Rarity's laugh was light, and in that brief moment, the prison that they were in appeared that much less confined, and made the situation appear much less hopeless.

That was when Rarity's voice—still containing its light and giggly ring—entered Applejack's ears once more. “I'm sorry.”

“Sorry?” Applejack replied as her laughter dried up. Applejack cocked her head to the right and shifted her weight onto her side a little more.

“Yes, dear Applejack, I'm sorry.” Rarity's voice no longer held the laughter from before. Instead, it now contained all the dread the pit could possibly contain. “I'm sorry I picked today to go gem hunting. I'm sorry I coerced you into joining me on my little escapade. I'm sorry I picked a place so far away from town. I'm sorry I just stood there like a statue as those... foul canines attacked us. I'm... I'm sorry...” Rarity trailed off for a brief moment as she lowered her head. “...I'm sorry that I'm going to cause us both to di—”

“Hey!” Applejack glared at Rarity, even though she wasn't even looking back. “Don't you dare say you're sorry about any of that, you hear? You had planned this trip for days now, I chose to go with you on my own, and I certainly can't blame you for being scared earlier. I mean, getting captured once by diamond dogs once sounds scary enough. The thought of a second time is just—”

A harsh, hacking cough from Rarity's lungs was enough to stop Applejack's little speech. At first, it was a deep cough similar to that of a pony sick with simple winter illness. However, the more that she coughed, the heavier and raspier it became, causing the magical light on her horn to flicker violently. Rarity covered her coughs with a forehoof, but the valiant effort was to no avail. Applejack meanwhile put her own efforts in merely giving Rarity's back the softest of rubs as she hoped Rarity's bout would be a short one.

Though the flickering light made things hard to see, it was obvious enough when Rarity spat up a few droplets of maroon liquid.

A few coughs later, and Rarity finally let her body collapse under the stress that the ordeal had put her through. Thankfully, it appeared that the coughing fit had passed, and while there were coughs every now and then, Rarity once again was able to relax.

Still, Applejack was not settled, and with the barest of tremble in her voice, she whispered, “Rares... are... are you alright?”

“Hmm?” Rarity asked, her voice quieter than even the still wind. “Sure... sure yes... I... yes.”

Applejack didn't believe her in the slightest. “Come on, Rares. Stay awake. You gotta stay awake... stay awake for me.”

There was a pause. “...Yeah... sure... yeah... I can... I can do that...”

Despite all of Applejack's wishes, there was nothing that she could do to help Rarity other than continue to rub her back. Other than that, there were only a few actions that Applejack could take at all, and those few actions would do nothing but fail outright or worse: hurt Rarity.

Applejack began to crawl, and after moving a tiny distance away from Rarity, desperately poked and prodded at the boulders. A few times, a glimmer of hope would well within Applejack as a few rocks shifted and groaned, but it never led to more than a few pebbles falling to the ground. After several minutes of this, she sighed, and resigned herself to the glaring look of the many vile rock faces that surrounded her on all sides, mocking her pathetic attempts of escape.

“It's not all bad, I guess,” Rarity breathed, breaking Applejack out of her focused glare. Rarity's voice was now nothing more than a whisper in the still air. “I mean... it could be worse...”

Crawling back to her former spot, Applejack settled back down next to Rarity's side. “In what way?”

Rarity leaned to the side, rested her heavy head upon Applejack's shoulder, and let a deep sigh escape her being. “I could... could be... dying alone.”

Applejack wanted so desperately to pull her head back, and deny it all. She wanted to tell Rarity that those words were nothing but lies, and they were going to make it. She wanted to tell her close friend that she was going to find a way out, get help, and the two were going to get better in short fashion. She wanted so desperately to tell Rarity that not only were they going to get out, but this was going to end up being a silly story to tell their friends years from now—a story of the two of them growing closer and finding themselves... or something like that. She so desperately wanted all of these.

Alas, she was the Element of Honesty.

So instead, she lowered her head, and rested it atop the Rarity's head in kind. “In that case, Rares... I'm glad you asked me to go along with you on this gem hunt.”

Silence was the only answer she got.

Applejack debated asking for—or maybe even demanding—some sort of response, but she decided that such an act would only serve to prolong the inevitable. Instead, she just stared off into the rock pinning Rarity, and lost herself in her thoughts. Why was she so useless? She was the stronger of the two, she was the faster of the two, and she was the one that was not pinned! There should be something, anything that she could do to get them out! Instead, all she could do, is lay here, and wait for the end.

It was then that the light at the tip of Rarity's horn began to slowly fade away.

With a tiny voice, Applejack whispered, “Hey... hey, Rarity.”

There was a pause, until Applejack heard a barely audible, “Hmm?”

Despite how hard she tried, she couldn't help but to let tears begin to spill from her eyes. “I... I'm glad we're friends...”

The light finally went out.


Time no longer had meaning. Minutes and hours blended together into a big mess of confusion. Instead, the only thing that Applejack could do was look at the fuzzy maelstrom of shapes and colors that dominated her vision. Nothing was certain in her mind, for while she swore that these colors were right there in front of her, wasn't the pit that she was in supposed to be dark? Applejack was able to see earlier, but wasn't that because Rarity was making a light? To both of these answers, she wasn't sure. All she was sure of at this point was that these colors were the only thing keeping her from going to sleep.

That, and the constant tapping that was coming from somewhere above. She had no idea what that tapping was coming from, but Applejack wanted nothing more right now than to find the source, and silence it with a good kick or two. Granted she wouldn't be able to kick anything right now, but maybe a stern talking to would be able to hold it over until she was able to stand back up. The idea that the tapping was in league with the colors and was attempting to somehow end their lives was not lost on her. There must have been something that she could do against them.

Alas, the cold numbing feeling in the pit would not allow it.

So Applejack stayed, and merely waited for the tapping and the colors to finally envelop her, and drag her down to whatever level of Tartarus that the two demons deemed fitting for the two ponies. She sighed to herself, knowing full well that this would be the second time that she failed to save Rarity. How many times would Applejack have to fail before their torture would end? Or was she already dead, destined to forever experience the heart-wrenching failure that she deserved.

Just as these thoughts were about to swallow Applejack and toss her into the abyss of insanity, a horribly intense light assaulted her closed eyes. Quickly the light took the colors that were filling her vision, battled them into submission, and banished them into oblivion. However, instead of taking the tapping noise with them, the tapping instead became louder, turning into a hard banging and cracking of something hard against something harder.

The banging stopped. “Hey! I've got something!”

Another voice. “Looks like another hole.”

The first one again. “True but... wait... what's that?”

A new voice appeared from the blinding light. “I think that's... it's them! I see them!”

Those three voices quickly turned into a circus of frantic chatter. This noise joined the blinding light in assaulting Applejack's overloaded senses, and filling her head with the most terrible pain. For a second, she wished that the colors and taps would come back, and continue their merely annoying pokes against her.

Out of the chaos, she was able to make out a single voice. “...save Rarity...”

That name alone brought Applejack’s focus to a point, and with all the effort that she could muster, she quietly moaned. “...Rarity...”

That was all she was able to say, before darkness took her mind once more.


Applejack couldn't think, for a painful throbbing in her head was punching through any thoughts that attempted to form. It was a feeling similar to what one might feel if a railroad spike were to be driven into one's head—at least if one could survive something like that. Granted, Applejack was certain that if such a gruesome thing had happened to her, she would've died without any pain at all, though considering the pain she was going through, it didn't entirely sound like a bad thing. Still, since she was feeling pain, she was fairly sure she wasn't dead, which meant—

Wait...

Immediately, Applejack's eyes flew open, only for her to be blinded by the brightest and most excruciating light that she had ever been forced to experience. The pounding in her head only intensified when she looked into the light, forcing her to close her eyes as soon as they opened. A ringing formed in her ears, quickly filling her head with its incessant noise. Any worse, and she imagined that she might have gone crazy.

She cracked open her eyes, and through the squint, gave her surrounding a once-over. All around her, the bright light made sure that it made itself known, and bathed everything around the most bleached out white possible. The ceiling was white, the walls were white, even the various machines and her bed were white. Yet, through it all, there was once exception to this.

Rainbow Dash.

For now, it appeared that the normally very speedy pegasus was taking one of the very frequent naps that she liked to take. She was mostly quiet, with only the occasional muffled snore giving any sign that she was actually asleep, and not simply “resting her eyes.” It didn't surprise Applejack that her friend was trying to catch a few Z’s, for if there was one thing that Rainbow probably liked more than either the Wonderbolts or even flying itself, it was napping.

Her mind drawing attention to the subject, Applejack let out a groan of annoyance over the lack of comfort that the bed she was in was allowing her. It was a quiet groan—barely above a loud sigh—but it was apparently enough to draw the attention of the once sleeping pegasus across the room. Both mares blinking a few times, they locked eyes, and gazed at each other—emerald eyes meeting ruby. For just a flash of a moment, Applejack wished that she had not awoken the pegasus, for there was nothing more that she wanted than to rest, and not have to explain a million things to Rainbow, even if it was Rainbow.

Alas, such a wish was not to be granted, for Rainbow immediately jumped out of her chair, and flew over to the side of her bed. “Applejack!” she cried in exuberant glee. “You're awake!”

For whatever reason, the only response that she could think of saying was, “Duh?”

Rainbow replied as if Applejack had never said such a rude comment—her face still showing the vast excitement that must have filled her entire being. “Oh my gosh! You're really awake! It isn't a dream this time! Geez! I mean... what's up!?”

Again, despite herself, Applejack could only cock her head to the right, and reply softly. “What's up? Shouldn't I be asking you that?”

This time, the words acted like a tiny bit of cold water—but only a little bit—for Rainbow allowed her wings to come to rest, and she landed back onto the white tiled floor. All of her hooves on the ground, Rainbow sat herself down onto her flank, gestured with her forehooves. “Well, I'm here, which I guess is obvious, but whatever. Your family was here about... half an hour ago? But they left after being with you for a while. All of the other girls have been visiting you when they could, but you caught me during my shift. So... well... here I am!”

If possible, Applejack cocked her head further to the right. “Your shift?”

“Yeah. I mean, you've been out for... what... two days now?” Rainbow looked to the ceiling as she thought to herself. “Yeah, that sounds right. Nearly everypony was able to visit during that time.”

If she cocked it a few more inches to the right, her ear would be meeting the mattress. “Nearly?”

“Well yeah... I mean...” Rainbow took those ruby eyes of hers, and lowered their stare all the way to the tiled floor below. With that, she gave a tiny shrug. “I mean... there was an... exception.”

For every reason imaginable, those last words made every single hair on the back of Applejack's neck stand up as straight as the trees in a forest. “Who... who was the exception?”

Rainbow Dash never looked up from her point in the floor. “...Rarity.”

The name must have been a physical entity in hiding, for as soon as it was uttered, it punched Applejack in the chest so hard, it took her breath away like nothing else had ever done before. The punch knocked the breath out of her lungs, and forced a pause in the conversation. All at once, Applejack wanted—needed—Rainbow to tell her the full story, and let her know how Rarity was. Alas, all that she could do was gawk at her friend, and allow the conversation to continue the awkward pause.

As if that really mattered to her.

Like she knew what Applejack was going to say next, Rainbow quietly uttered, “I think the only reason that she didn't visit you yet is because she's stuck in a bed, just like you. She's awake, but... well... not entirely herself.”

Applejack’s voice was caught in her throat, but she was still able to whisper her response—albeit in the most muted of tones. “Where is she?”

“Four doors down, on the left,” was Rainbow's solemn response, her eyes boring holes into the tiled floor. “She's... she's pretty messed up though. Much worse than you. I mean, she'll live, but...”

Those words got Applejack's voice going in full force. “I gotta see her,” she said with all the resolution possible.

Finally, after too long, Rainbow peeled her eyes from the floor and looked back up at Applejack. “You sure? Doc' said that you shouldn't be getting out of bed for a few more days at least.”

She wanted to sound smug with her response, but as she crossed her forelegs in front of her chest, her voice cracked just enough to prove how unsure she was of herself. “I'm fine.”

Rainbow forced a chuckle through those lips of hers. “You don't sound fine.”

“I'm fine,” she said again, this time with more determination. “And when did you ever listen to what ponies in charge told ya to do?”

To that, Rainbow let a tiny smile grow across her face, and she stood back onto her hooves. “I promised to try and stop you if you tried to get away. I think I'll consider that my attempt. Come on, let's get you over there.”

That was probably Applejack's cue to laugh at Rainbow's comment, but such laughter was not something that would be coming any time soon. Instead, she merely nodded, and began the process of getting back onto her four hooves. It was a process that was much more arduous than she initially suspected it would be, for the various IVs and wires that connected to her in various places did wonders in hindering her movements.

Thankfully, Rainbow immediately got the message, for as soon as Applejack shifted her hind legs over the left side of the bed, Rainbow was there to help out. The pegasus did everything that she could do to make sure Applejack was all situated to go on their little adventure down the hall. The IV machine was disconnected from the wall, allowing the internal magic pool to take over powering the device. With her strong wings, Rainbow made sure that the tangled mess of tubes and wires was as orderly as possible as Applejack pulled herself up from the bed, and onto her hooves. Finally, when Applejack did get onto her hooves, Rainbow was there by her, her friend's body pressed against her own.

Applejack took a few moments to steady herself against the pegasus, Applejack feeling a rather large wave of dizziness flow through her as she tried to regain the balance that she so desperately needed. It took a while—almost a full minute—but after that time, she nodded, and began to make her way to the door. Rainbow Dash followed alongside her, both helping Applejack keep her balance, as well as pulling along the IV machine that was tethered to her.

As soon as they made it through the door, a slight feeling of dread fell upon Applejack—the thought of being caught and sent back into her bed without visiting her friend in need was a terrifying one indeed. Thankfully, the hallway that they entered was completely devoid of any ponies, save for the two of them, and a familiar pegasus sitting in a chair a few doors down. It was this pegasus that the pair turned towards, and made their way towards.

At first, Fluttershy didn't appear to notice that Rainbow and Applejack were making their way right to her—her posture was slumped and her head was bent downward. Rainbow didn't seem to care in the slightest, for despite the drowsy state of their mutual friend, she called out to her. “Fluttershy. Wake up.”

“Huh... wha'?” Fluttershy softly whispered in her half-asleep state. Picking her head up quickly, her mind latched onto the source of the noise. As soon as her eyes fell upon the pair, her entire composure straightened, and her eyes opened up wide. “Rainbow Dash!? Applejack!?”

“Shh!” Rainbow shushed as she brought a forehoof to their friend's muzzle.

Nodding once, Applejack watched as the pegasus' eyes flicked from her, then to Rainbow, then back to her. Her eyes darted between the two a few more times, before Rainbow finally let go of Fluttershy's mouth. Unmuzzled, she spoke again—in a whisper this time. “What is Applejack doing out of bed?”

“She wants to see Rares,” was the response that Rainbow gave. Cocking her head like Applejack did before, she continued. “Why are you outside?”

With that comment, Fluttershy's entire body sagged more. “She... she threw me out... as soon as she saw me...”

Applejack's eyes widened in confusion and shock, but Rainbow beat her to the punch. “You too? Geez. Well... dang.” Rainbow let out a sigh as she faced back to Applejack. “You sure you still wanna visit her? Might not take kindly to the visit.”

There was no hesitation with Applejack’s reply. “I'm sure.”

“Then go on in there.” Rainbow said as she suddenly took a few steps away from Applejack’s side, and pushed open the door. “Knock some sense into that pony.” Slowly, Applejack nodded, and with a deep sigh—along with an extra second or two to hook a foreleg around her IV machine to push it along—she made her way into the room.

There were many things that Applejack could say about the room. She could say that the entire space was decorated in the same bland white that her own room was decorated. She could say that the beeping sounds of both IV machines—along with all the other machines—gave an eerie feeling to the entire place. She could say that the western facing window caught the sunset in the room just perfectly, so that the shadows all around them were stretched beyond the length that they normally would. She could say that the bed next to that very window was much too large for anypony that really wanted to relax in it. However, these very thoughts were not what Applejack cared about. Instead she cared about one thing, and one thing alone.

The mare sitting up on the bed.

Said mare had turned her head away from the door, and had focused all of her attention towards the sunset outside of the window, refusing to greet Applejack in any way—warm or otherwise. In complete contrast to how the normally exquisite mare liked to make herself appear, her mane was much less vibrant, and lay straight against her shoulders. Applejack wished that she could see Rarity's normally energetic eyes, even if she was sure that they would have a gaze that would phase straight through her. It was only then that Applejack’s attention fell upon the most notable and horrifying trait of the pony in the bed.

The two short lumps where Rarity's hind legs should've been under her sheets.

“Hey Rarity,” Rainbow called out from behind Applejack. “There's somepony here to see you. With that short introduction, the door was shut, and Applejack was left alone with Rarity.

Even with the greeting, Rarity never turned around to greet Applejack with even a wayward look. Instead, she kept her azure eyes upon the land beyond the windowpane. Applejack awkwardly stumbled her way towards the bed. Beside her, the squeaking of her IV machine's wheels softly echoed through the room, almost drowning out the sounds of her hooves tapping against the tile floor below. With nothing to distract her from her goal, it didn't take long for her to make it to Rarity.

From there, Applejack just stood next to the bed, and watched as her mourning friend just sat there, still looking out the window. As opposed to when she was at the door, from here she could see the very corners of Rarity's eyes. For a brief moment, Applejack swore that she saw Rarity's eyes quickly dart over in her direction, before they went back to staring out the window. A slight shift in Rarity's posture later, and Applejack knew what she had to do.

Without any warning, Applejack jumped onto Rarity's bed, causing the unicorn's muscles to stiffen suddenly. As she started to make her way closer to where Rarity was sitting, Rarity used her forelegs to bring the top of the sheets up closer to her neck. Whether it worked in her subconscious or not, Applejack wasn't sure. What she was sure about though, was that Rarity was not arguing with the actions, at the very least.

Applejack wasn't sure what to say, so she just said whatever came to mind. “I can't tell you how happy I am to see ya doing alright,” Applejack said with a smile, even if the somber tone of her voice didn't match up with her words or her face. “Was worried that I lost you for a second there.”

There was no reaction.

Applejack blinked once. “Our friends are outside, or at least Fluttershy and Rainbow are, and they really wanna say hi to you. You want me to let them in?”

There was no reaction.

Applejack blinked twice. “You... want me to let them know you don't wanna see them?”

There was no reaction.

Applejack blinked thrice. “You... you want me to tell the doc that you're doing alright?”

There was no reaction.

Applejack sighed, turned herself towards the door. As she moved her forelegs to push herself off of the bed, she whispered, “Alright, I get the message. I'll let you be. I'll be back tomo—”

A forehoof placed itself heavily on top of her own. “Please... please don't go...”

Whirled around with wide eyes, Applejack locked her eyes with Rarity's own, those orbs of deep azure gathering pools of salty tears within. Her friend shifted, and used her free forehoof to pull the sheets closer to her neck again. In turn, Applejack shifted herself, so that they were now facing each other, and together, they looked into each others eyes.

Applejack leaned forward, and brought Rarity into a hug—a hug that caused Rarity's body to stiffen, but never pulled away from. “I won't. I'll never leave you... I promise.”

With those final words, Rarity finally let the dam burst, and with a lunge into Applejack's embrace, those tiny motes of tears now burst forth in all of their torrential fury. Deep sobs racked her as she let the emotions that she must have been bottling up for the past couple of days spill forth, and fall from her eyes. From there, those fears fell upon the bright orange coat of Applejack, and would remain there for some time to come as they soaked into the hair they fell upon.

For the longest time, Applejack sat there with Rarity, lovingly caressing the back of her sobbing friend as she buried her head into Rarity's mane. To Applejack, time lost all meaning as the two ponies sat there on the bed, comforting and supporting each other through the dark storm that had fallen upon them. Applejack felt a little tinge of shame for feeling a little better with this situation than when they were in the pit, for unlike then, she was able to do something to help Rarity, even if it was not enough.

Finally, a few lingering sniffles signaled the end of Rarity's tears, and with the slightest of movements, Rarity shifted her head along Applejack's chest. Eventually, Rarity's head found its resting place upon Applejack's shoulder, and with a deep breath, she began to relax against her rock. In kind, Applejack rested her head against Rarity's, and together, the two friends looked out of the window. What Rarity was looking for Applejack would never know, but she wasn't looking for anything except for the sights and colors of the world around them.

“Will... will I be alright?”

Applejack paused for a moment at Rarity's words, not entirely sure as to what exactly she should say in response. Images of what the future held for Rarity flashed through her mind. There were scenes of Rarity struggling with the most basic of things. From walking to bathing, she would need help with every single one of them. Days of frustration to these ordeals and nights of despair and hopelessness, Applejack imagined them all. Yet, through it all, there was a small scene of hope, for through all of these things, Rarity was a strong mare, able to weather many a storm.

Applejack took in a deep breath, and sighed. “Yes. Yes you will be.”

Author's Note:

Special thanks to Kitsunehero, who not only edited this story for me, but he (along with other followers of mine) also basically brought up my self esteem enough so that I'm comfortable posting this.

Comments ( 19 )

Synopsis has sufficiently captured my attention. Proceeding to read now.

It's actually a fairly decent piece, but the prose is a bit awkward in places and, to me, there's not enough development to really get emotionally invested in the piece. For example, I think that an extra scene in the beginning showing the confrontation, an attempted escape, etc. would be a strong addition. I think a follow-up chapter showing Rarity's struggles and her acceptance or lack thereof would also help readers get more involved. Additionally, it's not entirely clear how Applejack's been changed by this event as per your synopsis. Rarity's change is crystal clear, but I can't figure out what Applejack's change is.

That being said, here is a not-comprehensive list of errors that I noticed:

1. "...sending a serious of hacks..." - serious should be series

2. "...brought forth illumination to the tiny space." - this sounds awkward to me. Why not just "...illuminated the tiny space"?

3. "Applejack's grinned wider." - this needs to be either "Applejack's grin widened" or "Applejack grinned more widely"

4. "It was then that light at the tip of Rarity's horn began to slowly fade away." - this would flow better with a "the" inserted between "that" and "light."

5. "So Applejack stayed, and merely awaited for the tapping..." - grammatically, "await for" isn't correct. As an example, consider "We awaited her arrival"

6. "All around her, she the bright light" - don't need "she" in here

7. "even the various machines and her bed was white" - and makes a compound subject which should take a plural form of the verb (was -> were)

8. "From there, those fears fell upon the bright orange coat of Applejack, and would remain there for some time to come as they soaked into the hair they fell upon." - if they are soaking Applejack's coat, shouldn't "fears" be "tears"? Unless, of course, you're using them as substitutes here...

I really enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing!

2582499
Technically, wouldn't #3 be "Applejack grinned more widely."?

I'll echo all of Excelsior's comments, with the addition that I felt at times like you were trying to mash at my Feel button a little too hard with melodramatic narration rather than allowing me to see enough into the AJ's and Rarity's emotional responses through their actions (however small those might be). In all, though, you did a really nice job with this story and you should be proud of it.

Speaking of which, that last comment in your Author's notes – just by existing – drags you half-way to being the truth in the reader's eye (in my opinion). FWIW, you and your story deserves better than that assessment.

2584060

So it would given that it would be an adverb. Duly noted and edited to reflect your correction.

God damn, the feels. This was a great little fic though :) good job.

2582299 Good to know! Hope you liked it! :pinkiehappy:

2582499 Yeah. Such is the woe of writing the synopsis weeks before the release, and forgetting to fix it :twilightoops:

Oh, and I fixed 1 through 7. 8 is actually correct.

2582772 You are most certain welcome! Thanks for reading!

2583351 :fluttercry:

2584060 Shush. He can say what he wants!

2584117 But the feel button is so nice and shiny!! And I agree with you on that author note. Was feeling down when I typed it. Deleted that part.

2584221 Anyways, let's move on! (Please get the joke...)

2585341 Thanks! And thanks for reading the little fic!

2591013 Want it, need it?

2592497 ? can you tell me what you mean by want it, need it?

2592682. You loved it... want it need it spell...

more of the fine dust filled her lungs again

The "again" is quite redundant. It really doesn't need to be there, nor should it be there.


Anywho, good stuff. It was a nice short story with some nice character interactions. Not much more I can ask from a short story.

*Sniffle* :fluttershysad: I... I cant hold them... :fluttercry: THE TEARS! THEY COME!

Holy-motherbucking-moly... that was intense!

Part way through the fic, Johnny Cash's Hurt came on the radio. Super feels combo! I bawled like a little kid.

I enjoyed this piece far more than I think I should have. Not sure what that says but I intended it positively:twilightsheepish:

Wow. Great job! Dang it, now I have to look up the other stuff you wrote. I would love to see more legless Rarity. Heck, I'd probably write it I'm interested enough.

Finally read this and upset I waited so long.

Great work

Instant favorite.

Simply because of how well the feelings of utter hopelessness is portrayed in this story. Good job!
:pinkiehappy:

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